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Bachelor/Bachelorette/Paradise Catch-All

C-Man

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Vito Andolini

Vito Andolini 9127

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Do you want to be spoiled? This shit has been out there or a while.

Spoiler

It’s clear he wants Cassie and Cassie only. He cuts Tayshia and Hannah loose, then pursues Cassie. They are allegedly still dating, probably not engaged. I think she wanted to be the Bachelorette, but didn’t get it.

 

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Beau Vine
Beau Vine

Sorry about your cataracts.

C-Man
C-Man

Keeping Victoria around after that has to rank as one of the dumbest decisions ever made in this “universe” — and that’s saying something. Blondie definitely has to feel especially bad losing to that

henrygandorf
henrygandorf

network exec 1 - what are our two biggest shows? network exec 2 - bachelor and american idol, why? network exec 1 - i have a really shitty idea.  call me later. 

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Mac8111

Mac8111 2108

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Posted

He is terrible at this.


Looks like to me Hannah G isn’t even going to get her shot at date.


Bama Hannah will suck at Bachelorette.



Pretty much just waiting for BIP at this point. Wish they would have a scorecard graphic about who fucks who on BIP.

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ajax

ajax 2620

Posted
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59 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

She's very hawt but she's got a bad case of crazy.  Why would guys be competing to marry crazy?

I became a fan. She's a woman so being crazy comes with the territory.

I was disgusted when she froze just having to give a toast. I hate timid women. But then she loosened up and she won me over.

If I were a single guy with the opportunity, I would ride that coaster.

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henrygandorf

henrygandorf 29194

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ok, so let's unpack a few things...

1. the wife has access to all the private pap sites thru her job, and they saw the

gym photo last week and were discussing it in her office.  since then we've had the thought that he could conceivably not really choose anyone, or at least not be engaged at the end of this, in order to pursue cassie.  that said, she genuinely doesn't seem like she's gonna get there with him, and the more he declared his undying love and affection to her, the more she seemed over it and ready to bounce.  kinda like i mentioned a couple weeks ago.  once again, colton has the emotional maturity of a 14 year old girl.

2. hannah g looks like she could get more screwed than anyone in fantasy suites history, and that's saying something.

3. cassie looks to be in prime position to be the bachelorette (assuming she actually leaves), but wouldn't her issue (not having enough time to form an honest connection) still hold true for that show?  it's the same fucking format, dad.

4. if hannah b is the bachelorette, i think that's a good choice.  i love how all of y'all are saying her craziness would prevent her from being a good contestant.  is this your first time watching reality tv?  the stiff, pretty, cardboard cut-out girls make the worst bachelorettes (or bachelors, like colton).  if they didn't have rachel be the bachelorette a couple years ago, tayshia would've been a perfect choice for the first black girl, but they won't go back to that well this quickly.  hannah is 24 i think, which may be a touch young.  25-27 is the best age for the girl, so the dudes can be 25-35.  bachelors should be 28-33.  when you have colton (26) then you end up with a bunch of 23 year olds who aren't ready, and 28-31 year olds who aren't serious contenders because of their age difference.

5. what is the obsession with demi?  she's white trash and likes to mix it up, but that type of chick has a shelf life on these shows.  i kinda wanted to see her disaster home life, but not much more.  her story had come to a conclusion, and she'll be in mexico.  hopefully nobody tells her any jokes down there.  i still have ptsd.

6. fuck the producers for stretching this shit out into 2 more episodes.  i got shit to do.

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ajax

ajax 2620

Posted
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5 minutes ago, henrygandorf said:

3. cassie looks to be in prime position to be the bachelorette (assuming she actually leaves), but wouldn't her issue (not having enough time to form an honest connection) still hold true for that show?  it's the same fucking format, dad.

Her sister is an actress and her sister's boyfriend is on a Marvel tv show, albeit a lesser one. She might have aspirations beyond reality tv. She's already been on 2 shows.

 

8 minutes ago, henrygandorf said:

the stiff, pretty, cardboard cut-out girls make the worst bachelorettes (or bachelors, like colton). 

That's why Hannah G should never be the Bachelorette.

 

9 minutes ago, henrygandorf said:

i still have ptsd.

lol

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henrygandorf

henrygandorf 29194

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3 minutes ago, ajax said:

Her sister is an actress and her sister's boyfriend is on a Marvel tv show, albeit a lesser one. She might have aspirations beyond reality tv. She's already been on 2 shows.

yeah i know.  my mention of it was in response to someone saying she wants it bad (or something).  if she's trying to be a legit actress, after being on 2 reality shows, i have some troubling news for her.

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ajax

ajax 2620

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8 minutes ago, henrygandorf said:

yeah i know.  my mention of it was in response to someone saying she wants it bad (or something).  if she's trying to be a legit actress, after being on 2 reality shows, i have some troubling news for her.

Yep. The only legit actress who I can think of who got her start in reality tv is Jamie Chung. That's not counting singing and dancing reality tv shows (Julianne Hough, Emma Stone).

 

13 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

 

 

She should express her feelings in a rap song.

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Go Pokes

Go Pokes 979

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How deep did you have to dig to link Emma Stone to a reality show?  Are you talking about this:   In Search of the New Partridge Family (2004), a reality show that produced only an unsold pilot.?

Someone remind me what Henry is talking about re:  Demi, joke, and PTSD

They have managed to pick two of the worst Bachelors ever in back to back seasons.  Though now that I think about it, almost all of them have been terrible choices.  At least these last two losers have been memorable.  Not for the right reason (lol), but memorable.  

 

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JimmyHoffa

JimmyHoffa 1188

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1 hour ago, henrygandorf said:

ok, so let's unpack a few things...

1. the wife has access to all the private pap sites thru her job, and they saw the

  Reveal hidden contents

gym photo last week and were discussing it in her office.  since then we've had the thought that he could conceivably not really choose anyone, or at least not be engaged at the end of this, in order to pursue cassie.  that said, she genuinely doesn't seem like she's gonna get there with him, and the more he declared his undying love and affection to her, the more she seemed over it and ready to bounce.  kinda like i mentioned a couple weeks ago.  once again, colton has the emotional maturity of a 14 year old girl.

 

 

3. cassie looks to be in prime position to be the bachelorette (assuming she actually leaves), but wouldn't her issue (not having enough time to form an honest connection) still hold true for that show?  it's the same fucking format, dad.

6. fuck the producers for stretching this shit out into 2 more episodes.  i got shit to do.

 

I don't get the hate on Cassie (not from you from everyone on social media) because they don't give a shit about her as a person they just blame her for ruining the viewers fairytale ending (that oh by the way actually works out about 5% of the time based on the shows previous history). Yes, I understand love at first sight blah, blah, blah but she probably really liked Colton but just didn't want him to choose her if he had similar feelings to one of the other two girls because she wasn't willing to commit. 

Not to mention she's young, her family was influencing her, and she sure as hell was getting mind fucked by producers that it seems like a totally logical outcome based on the show time frame and now in real life. 

 

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ajax

ajax 2620

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Posted

Last night I think there was a moment as Cassie was pulling away when Colton pulled her in to make out with her in order to sway her, and she just pulled his head to the side and put it on her shoulder.

Did I imagine that?

He really does have the maturity of a 14 year old girl. Cassie wanted to get far, far away from him.

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henrygandorf

henrygandorf 29194

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3 minutes ago, ajax said:

Last night I think there was a moment as Cassie was pulling away when Colton pulled her in to make out with her in order to sway her, and she just pulled his head to the side and put it on her shoulder.

Did I imagine that?

He really does have the maturity of a 14 year old girl. Cassie wanted to get far, far away from him.

 

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T’Boo Ted Marshall

T’Boo Ted Marshall 2738

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I had no issue with Cassie or her Dad.  6 weeks of non-exclusive dating is insane to get engaged.  

I just don't think Cassie sees herself long term with Colton and that is why she bailed.  

Felt bad for the guy.  He hasn't been in a situation where a girl wants to leave and you try everything to convince her to stay.  Let her walk man.  

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spystud13

spystud13 2371

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3 hours ago, henrygandorf said:

5. what is the obsession with demi?  she's white trash and likes to mix it up, but that type of chick has a shelf life on these shows.  i kinda wanted to see her disaster home life, but not much more.  her story had come to a conclusion, and she'll be in mexico.  hopefully nobody tells her any jokes down there.  i still have ptsd.

Same reason a lot of us new to the show don't understand yours & others long-term obsession with it. It's a fucking painful two hours each week, can't even imagine 20 dudes & 1 chick. 

 

We've "known" Demi since she was a freshman at Texas St, some of her since-deleted older tweets/Snaps/Tumblr posts would have fucking shocked the producers. 

I will definitely watch tonight though. 

I assume this interviewer is a former contestant? She inadvertently confirms at the end that Demi will be on BiP. 

 

 

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henrygandorf

henrygandorf 29194

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35 minutes ago, spystud13 said:

Same reason a lot of us new to the show don't understand yours & others long-term obsession with it. It's a fucking painful two hours each week, can't even imagine 20 dudes & 1 chick. 

 

We've "known" Demi since she was a freshman at Texas St, some of her since-deleted older tweets/Snaps/Tumblr posts would have fucking shocked the producers. 

I will definitely watch tonight though. 

I assume this interviewer is a former contestant? She inadvertently confirms at the end that Demi will be on BiP. 

 

 

it's hard to explain all that is "ashley i".  she's a nutcase of the highest order.  i would call her a stalker or creep, but that would be insulting to stalkers and creeps.  the worst part is the dude she was obsessed with thru multiple seasons of bip - she somehow ended up with (they're engaged or married i can't remember).  he's got his own issues, obviously.

all i was saying about demi is that when chicks like that get too far on the show, it's no longer entertaining, and gets a little weird/sad.  honestly, i don't like the show very much once it's down to 6-7 contestants.  i typically tune out during any 1-1 date during the season.  i don't like the romance, i like the drama.  that's all bip is.

and while i get the inclination to say "i can't imagine 20 dudes..." - what they lack in eye candy that you get from 20 chicks, they make up with knucklehead insecurity draped man-drama.  it's underrated.  they behave exactly like the chicks do.

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Vito Andolini

Vito Andolini 9127

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If possible, always watch a recorded episode of The Bachelor or The Bachelorette, never live. That way, you can fast forward thru all the formulaic one on one date bullshit, the high adventure “the stress brought us together!” and the subsequent candlelit dinner, rose presentation and slow dance while a shitty country singer performs live for just then. Only rewind if there is no rose handed out, so you can check out where it went wrong.

DO watch the group dates and watch the discussions in the suites. That’s where most of the drama happens.

But one on ones are boring AF. 

Watch Bachelor in Paradise, and for the most part, the dates are the worst part there as well. Thankfully, it’s a small part of the show. 

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Gravy Train

Gravy Train 974

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17 minutes ago, Vito Andolini said:

If possible, always watch a recorded episode of The Bachelor or The Bachelorette, never live. That way, you can fast forward thru all the formulaic one on one date bullshit, the high adventure “the stress brought us together!” and the subsequent candlelit dinner, rose presentation and slow dance while a shitty country singer performs live for just then. Only rewind if there is no rose handed out, so you can check out where it went wrong.

I'm somewhat pissed at myself for checking up on this thread when I didn't see Monday night's episode.  I use a TiVo with commercial-skip feature and that alone makes watching the series viewable to cut those two-hour blocks down.  Things used to be different when hosting a dinner or wine watch party for my ex's girlfriends. :D

I disagree-- when the contestant is as clueless as Colton, go ahead and watch the 1:1 dates too.  The guy trips over his own dick multiple times each episode, it's just as entertaining to see him butt-fumble the house gossip.

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ajax

ajax 2620

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5 minutes ago, Gravy Train said:

it's just as entertaining to see him butt-fumble the house gossip

omg, that drove me nuts. He'd be like "Tayshia, it's my greatest fear that I'll end up with someone who's not here for the right reasons. Tell me what you know."

Then when she spills, he goes to Caelynn and says "Caelynn, Tayshia says you're a fucking liar." 

Dude is dumb and a total dork. When he's on the 1:1 dates and he's spittin anti-game it's so cringe.

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Vito Andolini

Vito Andolini 9127

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I will admit I’ve very glad I watched the date with HannaBama early in the season, who couldn’t come up with the simplest of toasts. That girl ain’t all there. Now, imagine if she’s the focal point of an entire season? Mike Fleiss is an evil genius.

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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54331

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Posted (edited)
14 minutes ago, ajax said:

omg, that drove me nuts. He'd be like "Tayshia, it's my greatest fear that I'll end up with someone who's not here for the right reasons. Tell me what you know."

Then when she spills, he goes to Caelynn and says "Caelynn, Tayshia says you're a fucking liar." 

Dude is dumb and a total dork. When he's on the 1:1 dates and he's spittin anti-game it's so cringe.

Don't forget "I'm hearing two completely different things.  How is that possible?"

Edited by Beau Vine
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henrygandorf

henrygandorf 29194

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18 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

Don't forget "I'm hearing two completely different things.  How is that possible?"

plus, there always seemed to be a better eye-ball (earball?) witness to whatever they were discussing, but he never seemed to find the right person or ask the right questions.  it's like i was watching cnn.  /nocr

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henrygandorf

henrygandorf 29194

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38 minutes ago, spystud13 said:

Every preview I’ve seen is all about Demi tonight. 

yeah, that's what previews are for.  unfortunately, i'll give you the cheat sheet for tonight:

about half will be focused on the drama between girls.  some demi stuff, that one black chick instigator, the cuban/miami chick, a bunch of she said-she said crap.  that part will be fun.  they will definitely get into some of the "girls here for the wrong reasons" thread as well, which will likely transition smoothly into caelynn, and one-on-one interviews with girls who made it far and need to tell their story.

then, they'll bring out colton, so that 2-3 different chicks can all say they were "blindsided".  if i hear blindsided fewer than 5x tonight i'll be shocked.  the whole 2nd hour will be pretty boring and awkward as colton hints about what happened and defends himself against chicks that thought they were the one.

the biggest issue with the bachelor producers is that they are under the impression that "bachelor nation" wants justice*.  if a certain girl was wronged, then they think bachelor nation is demanding that girl gets her day in court (a few minutes on the couch with colton) to plead her case and "get answers"  spoiler alert, nobody ever gets satisfying answers, but they'll try to. 

*when arie ditched becca, it was obvious the narrative was going to be "let's support becca and help her find love" (even though she's cute but boring).  therefore, her season was pretty boring, and i seriously doubt anyone at home was happy for her now that she's with someone (are they even still together?).  in my opinion, the false narrative gave becca a little too much swagger, and she became unlikable, but oh well.

bachelor nation wants drama.  that's why bip works and these other shows only really work when there are a bunch of contestants left.  also it's hard to sell "watch as they find love" when only ~10% end up even getting married.  i made that number up, but i assume i'm close.  probably closer to 5.

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spystud13

spystud13 2371

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Ha, Courtney got fucking crucified in that encounter. 

 

“It’s 2019, & you still haven’t talked to Colton.”

”You were more like bedbugs. I forgot you were there, & then you just kept annoying the shit out of me.” 

Smoothly catches the pacifier the second time & hits her in the fucking head with it. 

“I’m older than you.” 

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ajax

ajax 2620

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, spystud13 said:

Without google, was Jane the sloth? 

No, they showed sloth earlier. Sloth is much more attractive, even with the sloth head on. Jane doesn't look like she belongs. Maybe she did wander in off the street.

 

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