Bachelor/Bachelorette/Paradise Catch-All

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2,732]

Jordan is real fucking lucky ol’ boy Christian didn’t hit his head on those steps when he got tossed. That could have been some Mexican criminal charges. 

My man Jordan impressed me with the takedown. Didn’t think he had it in him.

[spystud13 2,371]

That episode sucked, WAY too much talking. 

Does anyone ever just fucking party on this show? 

And I don’t remember new Caitlin at all from Colton’s season. 

[Mac8111 2,107]

She looks little bit different but once I saw the crazy eyes, I remembered her. She went home fairly early, earlier than I thought she would. Not sure she ever showed her personality though, or lack thereof.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Beau Vine 54,241]

17 hours ago, C-Man said:

Never in a million years thought I'd say this but I want Cam to stick around for the cringe factor.

It was like he was 13 0 Branding Iron when he was talking about Onyeka giving him a rose and then bitching when he got sent home.

I've seen the spoilers, but Dylan is a huge cuck.  I feel embarrassed for him.

That Kevin guy must have absolutely zero game.  

I don't remember this Caitlin girl at all, which is odd because she looks exactly like my daughter's freshman roommate.

[Vito Andolini 9,126]

[C-Man 27,230]

1 hour ago, Beau Vine said:

It was like he was 13 0 Branding Iron when he was talking about Onyeka giving him a rose and then bitching when he got sent home.

I've seen the spoilers, but Dylan is a huge cuck.  I feel embarrassed for him.

That Kevin guy must have absolutely zero game.  

I don't remember this Caitlin girl at all, which is odd because she looks exactly like my daughter's freshman roommate.

Cam thought he had it figured out. What a tool.

Dylan is pathetic. I have to imagine somebody else is walking down those stairs that will catch Hannah's eye and he'll be a blubbering mess again. Lot more dudes crying this season than I remember.

[henrygandorf 29,191]

10 hours ago, spystud13 said:

Little Miss Dem is rocking this yellow bikini top.

at least it got her out of that multi-colored thing she's been wearing pretty much daily (or so the editing would have us believe).  she seems skinny, but man, when she sits down in that rainbow swimsuit, she looks like she has a huge gut and fat ass.  not sure she realizes how unflattering it is.

i know you guys know her, or sort of know her, or there's some connection, but her stupid drama ruined the back half of last night and looks to take down at least more screentime moving forward.  did hannah b really need to come down?  do we really need to say how brave demi is even though she clearly misrepresented her situation?  of course derek is "cool with it" because she's a woman.  no dude would be cool with it if she misrepresented some relationship with a guy back home and was carrying on like this.

i get that we're all supposed to be impressed by how woke she is and how enlightened the bachelor is for showcasing this, but it stopped being interesting about 5 minutes after i heard the story.  obviously they're bringing the girl down to mexico, which is stupid, but if it was happening, they should've done it by now.  makes me worried they don't have much story to tell otherwise if they're focusing on this garbage.

dylan, man.  i blame every other dude on this show for not pulling him aside at some point, even before he got the rose, and just telling him to get his shit together.  he's gonna get gut-punched.  maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday soon, and for the rest of his life.  hannah clearly chose him to avoid being the villain, but she's not serious about him.

meanwhile, blake is whining worse than cam and dylan combined.  we get it, paradise has not gone great for you so far.  this is what happens when you use la as your own personal fantasy suite for the past 6 months.  no fucking shit things got complicated.  he's on a date by default with one of the hottest girls on the show, and he still manages to bitch.  his whole, "i just can't believe they're doing that right in front of me and i have to watch it" is just dripping with a lack of self-awareness rarely seen outside of washington dc.

i knew kristina kept him around for selfish reasons.  she's great drama and can possibly save the rest of the season.  fingers crossed.

[Vito Andolini 9,126]

The Demi thing is completely contrived and was the game plan all along. I just wonder if Derek Peth was a knowing stooge or they just used him.

What’s the phrase used for those “reality” shows like the Kardashians and Ozzy with writers who craft storylines ? “Assisted Reality,” something like that? I know the Bachelor franchises have always had producers who can help emphasize attractive story angles, but this has gone full fiction with the Demi “confusion” (she knows exactly what she wants, air time), the Jordan/Christian conflict (a piñata is a lot like a stuffed animal) and the Russian chick toying with Blake. 

[Beau Vine 54,241]

Did y'all not notice how boring the first half of the show was with nothing but Blake whining to the camera?  The season is shot because everyone seems to have paired off nicely.

They're going to have to try extra hard to manufacture drama.

[henrygandorf 29,191]

37 minutes ago, Vito Andolini said:

The Demi thing is completely contrived and was the game plan all along. I just wonder if Derek Peth was a knowing stooge or they just used him.

What’s the phrase used for those “reality” shows like the Kardashians and Ozzy with writers who craft storylines ? “Assisted Reality,” something like that? I know the Bachelor franchises have always had producers who can help emphasize attractive story angles, but this has gone full fiction with the Demi “confusion” (she knows exactly what she wants, air time), the Jordan/Christian conflict (a piñata is a lot like a stuffed animal) and the Russian chick toying with Blake. 

"scripted reality" is the phrase you're looking for.

like when people are at some house, and other people drive over to surprise them, and they're like, "holy shit, what are they doing here?" but there was a camera in in their driveway, so obviously it's not quite a surprise.  this is definitely how the hills was, or laguna beach or whatever.

they try to have the bachelor be one of those where they film everything, and then decide where the story goes in editing.  this is assisted by producers who just know how to create drama and story on the fly (it's not that hard), and then they use the confessional interviews to help shape the narrative.  notice those are not always filmed in order or the same day, or even same week (you can see with facial hair or haircuts often).  "so what did you think about blake's reaction?  did you think dylan deserved the rose?  whose side are you on?"

i would assume video village is in a condo a half mile down the beach, so they're able to read and control storylines while they're unfolding.

[henrygandorf 29,191]

15 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

Did y'all not notice how boring the first half of the show was with nothing but Blake whining to the camera?  The season is shot because everyone seems to have paired off nicely.

They're going to have to try extra hard to manufacture drama.

they brought in a very large cast at the beginning, i think even harrison said it was the biggest ever.  that makes the late additions less notable and more time for the couples to form.  but some of the couples - like mike and sydney - is that real?  can he not do better?

and i understand the dynamic with the roses and people getting sent home, but they should still bring guys and girls down at the ~ same time, instead of completely alternating.  it should be thunderdome-style post-apocalyptic mayhem down there.

[youdunnf'dup 2,147]

13 hours ago, spystud13 said:

Jordan is real fucking lucky ol’ boy Christian didn’t hit his head on those steps when he got tossed. That could have been some Mexican criminal charges. 

It was a lot closer than I thought it was on 2nd look. It’s kinda fucked that they kicked Christian off, IMO. If someone body slams you, all bets are off. That wasn’t a situation where both were agitating. Jordan clearly started it, both from a verbal standpoint and a physical standpoint. I know they have their rules, but the way the other contestants were acting made it seem like Jordan wasn’t 100% at fault.

[C-Man 27,230]

2 hours ago, henrygandorf said:

at least it got her out of that multi-colored thing she's been wearing pretty much daily (or so the editing would have us believe).  she seems skinny, but man, when she sits down in that rainbow swimsuit, she looks like she has a huge gut and fat ass.  not sure she realizes how unflattering it is.

Noticed that too. She's also a totally different looking person in make-up and without. She's not ugly without makeup by any stretch but the difference is striking. And she needs to ditch the huge glasses. And the high-waisted denim shorts (how this look came back is beyond me).

9 minutes ago, youdunnf'dup said:

It was a lot closer than I thought it was on 2nd look. It’s kinda fucked that they kicked Christian off, IMO. If someone body slams you, all bets are off. That wasn’t a situation where both were agitating. Jordan clearly started it, both from a verbal standpoint and a physical standpoint. I know they have their rules, but the way the other contestants were acting made it seem like Jordan wasn’t 100% at fault.

Christian should've just let Jordan show his ass and take the pinata. WGAF? He was doing great with Nicole because Clay is a complete pussy beta with a timid, squeaky Kermit the Frog voice. But he nuked hisself. Wasn't Christian the one who got into it with Jordan during the "Men Tell All" episode? I'm guessing neither is ever asked back to a Bachelor-universe show.

[youdunnf'dup 2,147]

He was. They mentioned that in the episode last week. I would think something like that would make them both get invited back in the future (for the drama) but who knows. I know that’s how it works on the challenge. Maybe they have a different set of standards in bachelor universe lol

[George 493]

I thought Christian had his hands in mr model’s face before it escalated to WWE summer slam. 

[henrygandorf 29,191]

it's still bothersome that nicole basically says out loud that she wants people aggressively pursuing her and basks in the spotlight of two men fighting over her, then goes around saying how scared she felt when it essentially happened (jordan, by proxy).  then once the whole beach sees christian go all crazy, she's acting like she had no role in that whole situation and she just wanted to be safe with clay.

shades of angela from the office, both with the andy/dwight fight, and with the dwight mace incident, while she walks around getting everyone's first person eyewitness statement.  lulz.

[youdunnf'dup 2,147]

39 minutes ago, henrygandorf said:

it's still bothersome that nicole basically says out loud that she wants people aggressively pursuing her and basks in the spotlight of two men fighting over her, then goes around saying how scared she felt when it essentially happened (jordan, by proxy).  then once the whole beach sees christian go all crazy, she's acting like she had no role in that whole situation and she just wanted to be safe with clay.

shades of angela from the office, both with the andy/dwight fight, and with the dwight mace incident, while she walks around getting everyone's first person eyewitness statement.  lulz.

I disagree with you on that one. She obviously didn’t mean literally fight for her. Clay has no personality. No “passion”. He’s a hulk of a dude, but I can definitely see what she meant by that. Christian steps in and he has a lot more game, he’s more direct/assertive. She absolutely would’ve chosen Christian if he was still here, but the name of the game is stay on the show. So now clay is her best option. 

Who knows, maybe I’m just defending her because if I had my pick of any girl on that show (based on looks alone), it’s easily her or Tayshia by a long shot 

Edited August 20, 2019 by youdunnf'dup

[Beau Vine 54,241]

3 minutes ago, youdunnf'dup said:

 

Who knows, maybe I’m just defending her because if I had my pick of any girl on that show (based on looks alone), it’s easily her or Tayshia by a long shot 

Sorry about your cataracts.

[youdunnf'dup 2,147]

4 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

Sorry about your cataracts.

Puerto Rican girls have always done it for me. I don’t know what it is about Tayshia, to be honest. I like what I like, man. Get off my back lol 

[henrygandorf 29,191]

46 minutes ago, youdunnf'dup said:

I disagree with you on that one. She obviously didn’t mean literally fight for her. Clay has no personality. No “passion”. He’s a hulk of a dude, but I can definitely see what she meant by that. Christian steps in and he has a lot more game, he’s more direct/assertive. She absolutely would’ve chosen Christian if he was still here, but the name of the game is stay on the show. So now clay is her best option. 

i'm not saying she specifically asked for people to physically fight over her, but i can also say that the idea of it wouldn't have exactly turned her off either.

she made pretty overt comments to clay (and others) about how she needs someone assertive and aggressive in their pursuit of her.  she also made a couple off-handed comments about how christian was towering over clay - something she did intentionally to goad him into mixing it up and being more assertive.  obviously that's not his personality, so it was never going to happen.

she also acts now like clay is the only man for her, and that she's never felt this way, but she sure was under christian's spell pretty hard and didn't hesitate to tell some of the girls about it after their date, contrasting how he was different than clay, and just kinda took what he wanted.

i stand by my angela comp. 

[Colonel Sanders 1,342]

This new Jen girl seems fuckable.

[Vito Andolini 9,126]

Katie’s got more issues than TV Guide

[Vito Andolini 9,126]

Holy shit, that’s some of the worst acting I’ve ever seen, maybe worse than “Oh, hello Mark!”  Derek and Demi, you need more lessons. 

[Bozo_Casanova 26,472]

Lotta deja vu with this Demi situation

[BrazilHorn 6,611]

Demi staying in Mexico with her girl is BS. 

I think the BIP producers jumped the 4th wall here. 

[Beau Vine 54,241]

1 hour ago, Vito Andolini said:

Holy shit, that’s some of the worst acting I’ve ever seen, maybe worse than “Oh, hello Mark!”  Derek and Demi, you need more lessons. 

It's Hi, Mark!

 

[C-Man 27,230]

Everybody catch Dylan with his legs wrapped around Hannah while they were in the pool? I asked my wife if the strap-on was in his ass in that scene.

[Beau Vine 54,241]

Nicole singing to Clay was much worse than anything Derek and Demi did.  

I've always liked Katie, but her crazy side finally came out.  She and Chris are an odd couple anyways.  Katie and Mike seem like a much better couple (no racist).  

I still think Kristina is the hottest, and she's also predictably off-the-charts crazy.  

Caelynn seems to be the worst person on the show.  

Tayshia's titties are amazing.  

How has Derek not proposed the menage?

Edited August 21, 2019 by Beau Vine

[henrygandorf 29,191]

demi getting to stay down in paradise once she chose her girlfriend is some bullshit.  you get to pick one or the other.  this isn't bring-your-lesbian-lover-to-work-day.  she's 23.  it's a phase.  but oh she's so brave.  give me a fucking break.  everyone's too nervous (including abc) to say anything negative or enforce the rules.  even chris harrison is handling her with kid gloves and that conversation they had was a little cringey for my tastes.  she's in a relationship with a girl.  she's not telling "her truth".  she didn't invent bisexuality.  and since when does harrison tell contestants "i love you"?  so odd.

and circling back, i'm 100% team tanner on this one.  what she did to derek is almost exactly the same as what jed did to hannah, maybe worse.  she clearly misrepresented what she had back home, as we all got to see how they were on their mexico date, with the "i love you's" and all.  the not-wearing-makeup demi suddenly makes sense now.  when she was standing outside with her girlfriend, they looked like mother and daughter.  hopefully they're both gone by monday.

and yeah, katie with the classic, "sure, if another girl comes down, you can do whatever you want..."

 

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2,732]

Tayshia's titties are amazing.  

I’m quite vexed by these. They look large and shiny at times but I believe them to be tube sockish when the bra comes off. She hits 30 and she may look like the old lady from Something About Mary.

[spystud13 2,371]

Hannah B. is on DWTS now, so her ABC career continues. 

[spystud13 2,371]

Interesting headline. 

 

 

[Lat22 4,014]

On 8/21/2019 at 5:49 PM, henrygandorf said:

demi getting to stay down in paradise once she chose her girlfriend is some bullshit.  you get to pick one or the other.  this isn't bring-your-lesbian-lover-to-work-day.  she's 23.  it's a phase.  but oh she's so brave.  give me a fucking break.  everyone's too nervous (including abc) to say anything negative or enforce the rules.  even chris harrison is handling her with kid gloves and that conversation they had was a little cringey for my tastes.  she's in a relationship with a girl.  she's not telling "her truth".  she didn't invent bisexuality.  and since when does harrison tell contestants "i love you"?  so odd.

and circling back, i'm 100% team tanner on this one.  what she did to derek is almost exactly the same as what jed did to hannah, maybe worse.  she clearly misrepresented what she had back home, as we all got to see how they were on their mexico date, with the "i love you's" and all.  the not-wearing-makeup demi suddenly makes sense now.  when she was standing outside with her girlfriend, they looked like mother and daughter.  hopefully they're both gone by monday.

and yeah, katie with the classic, "sure, if another girl comes down, you can do whatever you want..."

Finally got around to watching it and I could not agree more. Instead of typing it all out again, I’ll just quote you. Does this mean that Demi has immunity from being “voted off”? Such bullshit, buy hey, ABC is woke!

 

Edited August 23, 2019 by Lat22

[spystud13 2,371]

She has been on about 19 fucking different entertainment shows today. Apparently girls kissing just started in 2019, even though I posted a little different evidence elsewhere. 

[TonyTexas 10,515]

BIP isn’t a fucking game show. They change things up all of the time, often on the fly. . The twins were considered a unit, bringing people back who were already booted, non Bachelor Nation people coming on, to name just a few. Look for Demi or her girlfriend to hand out a rose with the men when they have the hammer.

 

[Lat22 4,014]

I’d say it’s her girlfriend that will be handing it out with the guys. 

[henrygandorf 29,191]

13 hours ago, spystud13 said:

She has been on about 19 fucking different entertainment shows today. Apparently girls kissing just started in 2019, even though I posted a little different evidence elsewhere. 

i saw plenty of girls kissing girls between 2002-2007 and that was just at work.

[henrygandorf 29,191]

13 hours ago, TonyTexas said:

BIP isn’t a fucking game show. They change things up all of the time, often on the fly. . The twins were considered a unit, bringing people back who were already booted, non Bachelor Nation people coming on, to name just a few. Look for Demi or her girlfriend to hand out a rose with the men when they have the hammer.

the twins were a unit, but that whole experiment was a bust and was stupid.  ashley i was the only one who i remember getting booted then crying her way back onto the show, which i was pissed about at the time, mostly because she sucks so bad.  i don't remember any non-bachelor nation people coming on until now.  especially one who's already attached to someone (which specifically fucks one of the actual contestants on the show). 

if we found out that mike had a girl back home (i'm sure he has several) and he was missing her, would it be normal to fly her in and have her join and give them a date card?  because that's the same thing that's happening now.  

the fact that they gave them the opportunity to "continue to develop their relationship in paradise" was the ridiculous part.  they already have an established relationship in la or wherever.  now they're just getting a free vacation and publicity.  the lesbian chick shouldn't be hanging in that group.  this is not nam.

[Go Pokes 979]

Ashley I’s sister was on one season and she was never on the flagship shows. That’s the only other time I can think of. They have no problem bending the rules for their favorites.

[henrygandorf 29,191]

19 minutes ago, Go Pokes said:

Ashley I’s sister was on one season and she was never on the flagship shows. That’s the only other time I can think of. They have no problem bending the rules for their favorites.

yes, you're right.  i forgot about that.  it was also a very short-lived, failed experiment.

hey look - i'm all for bringing random people in, if that's what they're looking to do to spice things up.  bring in other reality celebrities.  draw from big brother or real world, i don't care.  but bringing somebody's girlfriend from back home is dumb.

if demi and kristian (sp?) end up getting married and having a kid, are they going to come back on bip in a year or two and make some other couple babysit?  if that happens, i'm out.  probably.

[spystud13 2,371]

Forgetting Demi for a minute, why does this show suck? MTV knows how to cast idiots that will get fucked up & do stupid shit. These fucks all lay around in hammocks & cuddle all day. 

[Hozz 1,017]

35 minutes ago, spystud13 said:

Forgetting Demi for a minute, why does this show suck? MTV knows how to cast idiots that will get fucked up & do stupid shit. These fucks all lay around in hammocks & cuddle all day. 

First season I saw of this was the one with Chad the steroid shooting, lunchmeat face stuffing, high end realtor from Ok...that season was pretty good.  All of them since then, including all of the regular bachelors and bachelorettes, have been much less watchable.

[spystud13 2,371]

The bartender cat is quite possibly the most useless reality castmate ever. Put some goddamn fucking idiot blonde back there with DDDs, at least that would look good on TV. 

[henrygandorf 29,191]

13 minutes ago, spystud13 said:

The bartender cat is quite possibly the most useless reality castmate ever. Put some goddamn fucking idiot blonde back there with DDDs, at least that would look good on TV. 

it was better when wells was a "quasi-contestant."  some chick got rejected, went to wells to talk, wells walked her to her suburban, they made out, then she left.

they either need to give him a bigger role as a sounding board (seems like they're trying to do a half-ass attempt at this) or phase him out and put someone new back there.  it was more entertaining when the local mexican dude was back there being hilarious.

where the f is yuki when you need her?

[TonyTexas 10,515]

The bartender cat is quite possibly the most useless reality castmate ever. Put some goddamn fucking idiot blonde back there with DDDs, at least that would look good on TV. 

That cat parleyed his Bachelor fame to an engagement to Sarah Hyland.

[spystud13 2,371]

Good for him, still useless on the only season I’ve seen. 

[Go Pokes 979]

44 minutes ago, spystud13 said:

Good for him, still useless on the only season I’ve seen. 

To be fair, Jorge was pretty useless as the bartender too.  I heard Wells on a podcast the other day.  He said they use him for advice and as a sounding board a lot more than you see.  It's probably just not that riveting television to show.   They should have brought back Yuki though.  She's the best  

[C-Man 27,230]

2 hours ago, spystud13 said:

Forgetting Demi for a minute, why does this show suck? MTV knows how to cast idiots that will get fucked up & do stupid shit. These fucks all lay around in hammocks & cuddle all day. 

 

2 hours ago, Hozz said:

First season I saw of this was the one with Chad the steroid shooting, lunchmeat face stuffing, high end realtor from Ok...that season was pretty good.  All of them since then, including all of the regular bachelors and bachelorettes, have been much less watchable.

I think it was fantastic until the Corrinne incident on last summer's premiere. It used to be much more wheels-off. I think they've done their best to rein things in but then again, they just had a physical altercation so ... who knows? I'm either growing tired of this premise or it's getting worse as I have a better idea of who these people are from watching the regular shows.

[henrygandorf 29,191]

26 minutes ago, C-Man said:

I think it was fantastic until the Corrinne incident on last summer's premiere. It used to be much more wheels-off. I think they've done their best to rein things in but then again, they just had a physical altercation so ... who knows? I'm either growing tired of this premise or it's getting worse as I have a better idea of who these people are from watching the regular shows.

you're definitely right about the corinne situation.  that one idiot might've fucked an entire tv show.

to me, the two things i've noticed that make the show not as good, are:

1. the interactions between contestants outside (before) paradise.  i've already beaten my drum on this shit plenty, don't need to go into it too much here.  it would be nice if these people were more or less strangers when they arrive.  worst case, maybe some texting or dm'ing, but no fucking or jumping on a quick flight to birmingham.

2. too many people started getting into actual relationships.  yes, i know, that's the "goal".  but it used to not really be.  it used to be for good theatrical drunken reality drama.  then the show started producing more successful happy couples than the main shows, and all of a sudden, it's all about "find love or gtfo".  they even tweaked the ending the last 2-3 years because they weren't sure what the goal was.  now it's all about "a second chance at love" and geared away from the drunken hookups and beach drama.  

stay in your lane, bip!

[C-Man 27,230]

49 minutes ago, henrygandorf said:

you're definitely right about the corinne situation.  that one idiot might've fucked an entire tv show.

to me, the two things i've noticed that make the show not as good, are:

1. the interactions between contestants outside (before) paradise.  i've already beaten my drum on this shit plenty, don't need to go into it too much here.  it would be nice if these people were more or less strangers when they arrive.  worst case, maybe some texting or dm'ing, but no fucking or jumping on a quick flight to birmingham.

2. too many people started getting into actual relationships.  yes, i know, that's the "goal".  but it used to not really be.  it used to be for good theatrical drunken reality drama.  then the show started producing more successful happy couples than the main shows, and all of a sudden, it's all about "find love or gtfo".  they even tweaked the ending the last 2-3 years because they weren't sure what the goal was.  now it's all about "a second chance at love" and geared away from the drunken hookups and beach drama.  

stay in your lane, bip!

Exactly. Now it seems like a mash-up of the "losers" from the previous year's Bachelor/Bachelorette seasons with very few exceptions. Maybe it was better when they were getting people from as far as 4-5 years back who wouldn't have much contact with the fresh faces. I mean it seems the entire cast was at Stagecoach this year.