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Bachelor/Bachelorette/Paradise Catch-All

C-Man

By C-Man
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Beau Vine
Beau Vine

Sorry about your cataracts.

C-Man
C-Man

Keeping Victoria around after that has to rank as one of the dumbest decisions ever made in this “universe” — and that’s saying something. Blondie definitely has to feel especially bad losing to that

henrygandorf
henrygandorf

network exec 1 - what are our two biggest shows? network exec 2 - bachelor and american idol, why? network exec 1 - i have a really shitty idea.  call me later. 

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Go Pokes

Go Pokes 979

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2 hours ago, Lat22 said:

Tahzjuan is the most unattractive female to ever grace bachelor nation. 

I'd go with Oneyka, but it's close enough that we are splitting hairs.  It's odd that those two, Jane, and Cam got absolutely no attention (other than Caitlynn toying with Cam for 48 hours) in Paradise.  I'm starting to think BIP is not the place for unattractive people.  Who'd of thought it?  

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Vito Andolini

Vito Andolini 9126

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One of the biggest problems is the show is trying to glean four hours of programming a week out of this shit show, so they are dragging out this shit. There’s been at least three weeks of this show so far,  that’s 10 hours that’s aired and they’ve had only 3 rose ceremonies? 

Bad season, I’m probably out after this. 

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youdunnf'dup

youdunnf'dup 2147

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1 hour ago, TonyTexas said:

So spystud doesn’t like Katie, Onyeka or Tahzjuan. I’m detecting a pattern.

At least Katie and Onyeka have somewhat normal personalities. Tahzjuan is just ridiculous. Was that pigeon reference to the early 2000s song that was a rebuttal to no scrubs lol? Blonde chick was just like “uhh, what?”

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spystud13

spystud13 2371

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25 minutes ago, youdunnf'dup said:

Was that pigeon reference to the early 2000s song that was a rebuttal to no scrubs lol? Blonde chick was just like “uhh, what?”

Haley trying to explain seagulls are worse because there is more water than ‘earth’ on Earth was pretty fun. 

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C-Man

C-Man 27230

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Damnit, Chris!! Getting rid of Katie would have salvaged the episode. 
Don’t agree with Blake’s choice either, but more Kristina is never bad. 
 
Edit: Also thought for sure they would drag the ceremony out until tonight. 


I like Katie. She’s cute. Taysha is a smoke show, though. Damn.

John Paul Jones is either on drugs all day long or he’s in the running for dumbest SOB Bachelor universe has ever seen. That would be saying something too.
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Vito Andolini

Vito Andolini 9126

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Yes, Derek would then give his rose to a different woman or decide to check out.

JPJ went from quirky, amusing fan favorite to unhinged psycho in the blink of an eye. He really has something going on upstairs, and I suspect it’s manifested before. Someone in his past probably has some stories. Weird dude.

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C-Man

C-Man 27230

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Demi’s impressions of Connor, Caitlin and Christina at the end was pretty impressive.

Anyway, producers just threw some serious gasoline on the fire with Connor and Angela coming on and then Dean returning next week. Dis ‘gon be good (hopefully).

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Vito Andolini

Vito Andolini 9126

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Is there a bigger bore than Clay Harbor? And Mike has been invisible. 

At one point, both were considered the lead for The Bachelor, especially Mike, who had a lot of fan support, but that’s apparently done. 

Reality Steve says it’s a done deal and the story has been picked up on many news services, but I’ll spoiler:

Spoiler

He says it’s the Windmill Banger, Peter the Pilot. Tyler Cameron could have had it easily, but he’s now with Gigi Hadid, living in NYC and hanging with all her famous pals. The Bachelor franchise is in his rear view mirror... unless he fucks up in the real world. But he seems like a decent guy, so I suspect he’ll be ok. Best thing that ever happened to him was Hannah Brown choosing Jed.

 

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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54246

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10 hours ago, Vito Andolini said:

JPJ went from quirky, amusing fan favorite to unhinged psycho in the blink of an eye. He really has something going on upstairs, and I suspect it’s manifested before. Someone in his past probably has some stories. Weird dude.

I think he's just overacting something awful.  

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Go Pokes

Go Pokes 979

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2 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

Did I miss something, or did Mike completely disappear in Monday's show and then show back up in Tuesday's?  He didn't even give out a rose Monday, did he?

He gave it to Syndey but I had the same thought when I was watching.  I didn't remember him giving her a rose, but I just assumed I looked at my phone for a few seconds and missed it.  

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C-Man

C-Man 27230

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4 hours ago, Vito Andolini said:

Is there a bigger bore than Clay Harbor? And Mike has been invisible. 

Clay is just a gigantic pussy. A pussy that could tear me limb from limb mind you but a pussy nonetheless. He will let whoever he winds up with run over him on a daily basis.

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youdunnf'dup

youdunnf'dup 2147

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44 minutes ago, C-Man said:

Clay is just a gigantic pussy. A pussy that could tear me limb from limb mind you but a pussy nonetheless. He will let whoever he winds up with run over him on a daily basis.

I’m starting to feel that way about Mike. I liked him on the bachelorette when he was shooting the shit with the other guys, but other than that he just smiles really big and doesn’t say anything interesting or funny. I feel like he should slay on this show, but he doesn’t have as much personality as I thought he might in a setting like this.

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C-Man

C-Man 27230

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18 minutes ago, youdunnf'dup said:

I’m starting to feel that way about Mike. I liked him on the bachelorette when he was shooting the shit with the other guys, but other than that he just smiles really big and doesn’t say anything interesting or funny. I feel like he should slay on this show, but he doesn’t have as much personality as I thought he might in a setting like this.

In fairness to Mike, Sydney kind of sucks

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Lat22

Lat22 4014

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2 hours ago, C-Man said:

Clay is just a gigantic pussy. A pussy that could tear me limb from limb mind you but a pussy nonetheless. He will let whoever he winds up with run over him on a daily basis.

He really is.  If he has any interest whatsoever in holding on to Nicole, he better shut down the whole "I still really care about her" routine.  How many different people is he going to say this too?  You dumped her.  You don't owe her anything else.  Let it go.  And Derek has the patience of Job to just stand there while some little surfer kid unloads both barrels on him.  I wish he would just say "Tayshia came after me you idiot".

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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54246

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14 minutes ago, Lat22 said:

And Derek has the patience of Job to just stand there while some little surfer kid unloads both barrels on him.  I wish he would just say "Tayshia came after me you idiot".

To me, that's not "patience."

Also, that whole situation seems completely fake, 100% scripted by the producers, and JPJ is just trying out his acting chops.

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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54246

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The best part of the whole season so far was Demi and Jordan cracking on everyone.  That was second-best part.

They seriously need to find a way to keep her on the show just for commentary. 

The show would be better if she replaced Chris Harrison, who manages to never say anything interesting or non-obvious.

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henrygandorf

henrygandorf 29191

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pleasantly surprised they actually turned a wedding into a solid episode.  there have been some in the past that were total wastes.  could the season be turning a corner?

overall, i think i echo most of the sentiments here...

-demi, hilarious.  her girlfriend, what a waste.  glad they got abc to pay for their vacation.

-jpj, stone cold psycho.  dude is what, 24?  tayshia is 27 and looking for someone who has his shit together.  well done, john.  i'm sure she's as good as yours.

-mike...where the f have you gone?  i thought he would light paradise up like a christmas tree.  nope.

-connor.  seems like a nice guy.  but man i can't watch him talk.  he seems like he's trying to do a surfer dude/jpj impression.  it's rough.

-caelynn.  poor caelynn.  such a victim in the season premiere while pouting about blake.  then goes and uses cam, flirts with mike, and wifes up with dean.  now dean drops her on her ass for no reason other than "i know this is a relationship show but i'm not here for that".  now she's all up in connor's biz, but will drop him like a bad habit when something better comes along.  i wonder what happened with dean to make him come back so quickly.

-great work overall by the producers.  that wedding showed just how many relationships actually form and last from bip.  next to zero last from the flagship shows.  shocking.

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