Bachelor/Bachelorette/Paradise Catch-All

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2724]

What’s with all these pixels and black boxes? Dumb.

[henrygandorf 29174]

so while none of these episodes are "good", that last one was just fucking terrible.  i already know tia and colton are giving it a go, i don't need to see the non-drama of colton getting a date card just so tia can chat with that other chick from arkansas for half the episode.  good lord, i can't be the only one that fast forwarded that nonsense.  let me know if anything interesting was said.

the date cards should be reserved for new entries and for stirring the pot.  that's it and that's all.  nobody wants to see a solid couple "rewarded" with a date card.  they can spend all day and night together.  they can eat and drink and do whatever the fuck they want on the beach.

and bringing back ben and arie and the two blondos was fucking pointless.  they must just be signing all these people to bigger more inclusive contracts so they can find new spots to drop them in.  no reason arie and/or becca should be on my tv screen in august.

[Go Pokes 979]

The conversation between Raven and Tia was the only thing that was worth watching.

[Vito Andolini 9099]

Yeah, she took a big ‘ol shit on Colton.

So, if they are considering Colton for the next The Bachelor, it’s an unusual approach to paint him as a guy with questionable motives.

[TonyTexas 10481]

Yeah, she took a big ‘ol shit on Colton.
So, if they are considering Colton for the next The Bachelor, it’s an unusual approach to paint him as a guy with questionable motives.

It might be interesting to Colton as the next Bachelor in order see 20 girls try to be the first to wet his wick. Think of the buildup to the fantasy suites. Plus he will cry a lot.

[Lat22 3994]

I really like Krystal. 

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2724]

The conversation between Raven and Tia was the only thing that was worth watching.

Was it Pokes? Was it?

Yes HG I hit FF through that dumb shit with Colton and Tia.

They need to strap a Go Pro to Jordan, David, Leo and the alien chick.

[henrygandorf 29174]

1-2 years ago, they did a double date.  i think they need to incorporate more group shit.  the worst part of any of these shows is when they're 1-1 away from everyone else.  i get that with raven, it was sort of a double date, but not really.

[C-Man 27041]

The Leo meltdown was mildly interesting last night. I think somebody coached him to come in to fuck shit up because this wasn't his personality on Becca's season. Annelise has more mood swings than Ashley I. Also, go back and listen to the Canadian (not Ben Wa) sob-talking to Astrid and close your eyes. He sounds just like this guy:

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2724]

Ha. He does sound like ND.

Annalise is unbearable. She’ll get dumped for a third time and set some sort of Paradise record.

[henrygandorf 29174]

annalise's moves, in order:

1. fall super hard for some dude

2. after one conversation, say out loud, "i think the strongest couples here, are...me and (new guy), then list the actual couples that she doesn't see being as strong as her 15 minute relationship"

3. get completely blindsided (in her mind)

4. repeat step 1 once a new guy wanders in

 

as for leo, man.  he was so cool and mellow and zen and alpha, and all the other shit he tried so hard to be when he first got there.  just so above all the silly paradise drama (which is a genius move if you get there a week late).  then one little hiccup (underestimating the sewing circle that is bip), and he turns into jordan jr.  joe showed me a lot by (a) not being the one who told her, even though he knew about it, and (b) getting right up in leo's grill after he talked shit.  leo looked like a pussy throwing his drink, although i'm sure bip security was lurking nearby.

 

Edited September 1, 2018 by henrygandorf

[Lat22 3994]

I’m not sure I’ve ever watched a TV show that keeps me on the edge of my seat for three hours. Where do I turn in my man card?

[zman13 178]

Colton is the new Bachelor.

Another emotionally immature boring kid. This may be the final straw for my wife. Hopefully.

[henrygandorf 29174]

yep, fucking saw that shit coming.  they're getting sloppy and deliberate with their bullshit and really telegraphed it with their move bringing becca in to chat.  whatever.

so, annaliese.  you can spot her crazy from two towns over.  kamil (her 3rd obsession) decides to go on a date, and she's like, "yeah, i'm totally fine, i'm gonna have a fun day."  and then literally like 10 minutes later, starts losing her fucking shit.  even jordan was like, "i hope he comes back to her, because paradise cannot handle what she's gonna turn into if she gets rejected."  she's building their relationship up in her head in such a way (after what, 9 days?) that there's no way he can deliver it to her.  she wants him down on one knee at the end of this.  good lord, man.

i have a feeling the producers went to him, and they're like, "hey dude, we know you're not as into it, but you need to give her the rose, because our insurance cannot cover what this may do to her if you don't."

once again, the word "blindsided" has been used so many times it's lost all meaning.  to these chicks, "blindsided" is when any decision is made that they were not a part of.  "i want to go to chipotle.  i really hope i don't get blindsided and find out we're going to chili's instead."  let's tone it down a little.

i fast-forwarded the ashley and jared stuff.  did i miss anything?  i think since the invention of social media, the people who cared already knew they were engaged, and bip isn't quite getting the jaw-dropping twist they were hoping for.

i like jordan (kiwi) as an addition.  he was great in winter games.

[Vito Andolini 9099]

Just saw the DVR claim three hours for the last two episodes of this shit show?

Fuck you, Fleiss, fuck you.

(I guess just Monday night was three hours. Still, fuck that shit.)

Edited September 5, 2018 by Vito Andolini

[Lat22 3994]

In the immortal words of Chad, I can’t believe that Kamil is “vibing” Annaliese. 

[Go Pokes 979]

Shu seems .....stable

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2724]

Dang. Producers get another high five for kicking a current cast member in the junk.

Ashley will not age well. She looks like a ME Joker already. Jared, good luck with that whack job that stalked you for a few years.

I found it hilarious when Annalise was spilling her guts to Jordan who she was in love with just last week. She’s a stage V clinger.

Yes I’m an episode behind.

[C-Man 27041]

On 9/4/2018 at 4:11 PM, henrygandorf said:

" has been used so many times it's lost all meaning.  to these chicks, "blindsided" is when any decision is made that they were not a part of.  "i want to go to chipotle.  i really hope i don't get blindsided and find out we're going to chili's instead."  let's tone it down a little.

New drinking game -- take a drink every time a cast member says the phrase "all in."

11 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

Dang. Producers get another high five for kicking a current cast member in the junk.

Ashley will not age well. She looks like a ME Joker already. Jared, good luck with that whack job that stalked you for a few years.

I found it hilarious when Annalise was spilling her guts to Jordan who she was in love with just last week. She’s a stage V clinger.

Yes I’m an episode behind.


 

I said to my wife the other night that Ashley I is going to chop off Jared's dick in the middle of the night.

 

Anyway, this season has been pretty boring IMO. But, hey, lots and lots of nice tittays!

Finally, I'd definitely tune in to watch a Jordan-Jenna reality show on Bravo. Holy schnikes would it be great to watch these two bird-brains in the wild!

[C-Man 27041]

Think this all wraps up with episodes tonight and tomorrow, yes?

[henrygandorf 29174]

i believe so.

once again, i'm assuming there will be a "rules but no rules" ending laid out by chris harrison.

if memory serves, they can stay another night as long as they're a couple, and stay in a nice, air conditioned hotel room.  or, if they're not a couple, they can go home, and do whatever they want because this is america.  obviously they're free to call or text each other, because clearly they all have each other's info.

the tell all/after paradise episode tomorrow will probably be better.

[Lat22 3994]

On 9/5/2018 at 5:22 PM, C-Man said:

New drinking game -- take a drink every time a cast member says the phrase "all in."

Two or three weeks ago, we all would have died of alcohol poisoning. 

[Vito Andolini 9099]

3 hours ago, henrygandorf said:

if they're not a couple, they can go home, and do whatever they want because this is america Mexico 

 

[henrygandorf 29174]

20 minutes ago, Vito Andolini said:

 

well they all live in america.

[Lat22 3994]

Lots of crying. Not a single tear spotted. Kamil is the master of diving the airplane towards the ground and pulling up right before impact. 

[C-Man 27041]

14 hours ago, Lat22 said:

Lots of crying. Not a single tear spotted. Kamil is the master of diving the airplane towards the ground and pulling up right before impact. 

Yeah, I don't think he's really into her at all but has realized what is going to happen when he tells Annelise it just isn't going to work out. There's not a chance in hell they're together on the "Tell All" show tonight is there?

[babysdaddy 2718]

no chance.  I think he was getting ready to break up with her and then he was like "fuck it, might as well get laid" after she laid out all her cards on the table.  What a bunch of fucking psychos.

[henrygandorf 29174]

3 hours ago, C-Man said:

Yeah, I don't think he's really into her at all but has realized what is going to happen when he tells Annelise it just isn't going to work out. There's not a chance in hell they're together on the "Tell All" show tonight is there?

kamil, blink twice if you're being held against your will.

she's crazy, she's 3 years older than him, she's american (and he's not).  what could go wrong?

lots of "blindsided" last night.  also several women mentioning "all of the men that have hurt them in the past."  here's my question.  whenever i hear that, i think either men dumping them and finding someone else, or men cheating on them and them finding out (and breaking up, presumably).  is that what they mean, or is it basically anytime they've broken up with a guy, regardless of the reason or instigator?  

i feel like when a lot of these women talk about their past relationships, unless it's a total "i'm way better than you and i don't want to be with you anymore so i'm out" female ass-kicking, i think they consider it yet another time that "a guy hurt me in a past relationship."  i'm sure it's like that in real life too, but man, it's amplified on this show.  to hear them tell it, every woman on here seems to have a horrible past of being with total dirtbags who broke their heart.

[Lat22 3994]

On 9/4/2018 at 9:24 PM, Lat22 said:

In the immortal words of Chad, I can’t believe that Kamil is “vibing” Annaliese. 

He wasn’t. He didn’t pull the plane out of the dive tonight. 

[Mac8111 2103]

She got punched right in the gut.

Can’t believe Chris got to bang the blonde.

[Lat22 3994]

Complete dick move but absolutely perfect for this show and what it's all about.  Hint: it ain't about "finding love".

[Vito Andolini 9099]

So, two out of three ain’t bad. Oops, looks like Jenna’s been blowing a dude for “business advice” for months, and has texted her engagement to the other blond moron is a sham:

Quote

Just one day ago, Jordan Kimball was excitedly planning a wedding to his fiancée, Jenna Cooper. The date was set, the venue was chosen and he was looking into catering options.

Then Kimball was blindsided Tuesday morning when a story on blog Reality Steve emerged alleging Cooper was also in a relationship with another man. The story included graphic text messages that were allegedly between Cooper and the unidentified man.

The story also alleges that Cooper claimed her relationship with Kimball was fake.

“It felt like a body drop,” Kimball tells PEOPLE of learning about the allegations. “I got taken down. I’m weak in the knees and I feel like I have rocks in my stomach.”

In an exclusive statement to PEOPLE, Cooper denies the claims, stating, “I am aware of the allegations being made against me and they are simply untrue. I am choosing to focus on my relationship right now. Thank you for respecting my privacy at this time.”

 

https://people.com/tv/bachelor-in-paradise-jordan-kimball-blindsided-jenna-cooper-alleged-affair/

The texts can be found at Reality Steve. I’d try to link that, but his site is a hard to read shitshow.

[Mac8111 2103]

[MNLonghornFUKM 8799]

Good lord. Lol. I would never trust a woman with that type of back tattoo that jenna has.

 

I watched this season basically as background noise with my wife...but has Benoit always been a huge bitch?

 

 

[henrygandorf 29174]

i am shocked, shocked to find that gambling kamil 'blindsided' annaliese on live tv.  shit, even people mag used blindsided. 

i don't want to say she deserved it, but yeah, i don't know how to finish this sentence.

on to jordan and jenna.  that whole story checks out.  also, jordan was looking into caterers for their wedding?  this other guy she's with she greets with "good morning, princess"?  and he has a heart emoji next to her name saved in his phone?  she must just attract the prissiest dudes ever.

also, that leak clearly came from him, so i would assume he saw the engagement and dropped her like third period french.  smart move.

[C-Man 27041]

3 hours ago, henrygandorf said:

i am shocked, shocked to find that gambling kamil 'blindsided' annaliese on live tv.  shit, even people mag used blindsided. 

i don't want to say she deserved it, but yeah, i don't know how to finish this sentence.

on to jordan and jenna.  that whole story checks out.  also, jordan was looking into caterers for their wedding?  this other guy she's with she greets with "good morning, princess"?  and he has a heart emoji next to her name saved in his phone?  she must just attract the prissiest dudes ever.

also, that leak clearly came from him, so i would assume he saw the engagement and dropped her like third period french.  smart move.

I think Annelise would've gotten engaged to a plate of enchiladas if it had shown interest in her.

[C-Man 27041]

Bad day for the Bachelor Universe: https://www.cnn.com/2018/09/12/entertainment/amanda-stanton-arrested/index.html

Quote

(CNN)Reality star Amanda Stanton has been arrested and charged with domestic violence.

Stanton, who starred on season 20 of "The Bachelor" and on 2016's "Bachelor in Paradise," was arrested after an alleged altercation with her boyfriend, Bobby Jacobs, at The Encore Hotel in Las Vegas on Monday, officials said.

The Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department said officers responded to a battery domestic violence call at 3:15 a.m. Officers said an altercation took place in front of the police once they arrived on the scene. Stanton was arrested and transported to Clark County Detention Center.

"Through the course of the investigation, it was found that there was probable cause to arrest Stanton on one count of battery domestic violence," a spokesperson said.

 

 

Related: Everything you need to know about the next 'Bachelor'

A representative for Stanton, Steve Honig, said the incident was a misunderstanding and a result of Stanton having too much to drink.

"Amanda is embarrassed and ashamed this happened and sincerely apologizes to hotel security and the Las Vegas Police Department," Honig said in a statement. "Amanda is a gentle, respectful person who has never gotten physical with anyone under any circumstance. That evening she had a few drinks at a bachelorette party and when hotel security asked her and Bobby to quiet down, she got a bit rambunctious. Amanda gave Bobby what she thought was a playful shove; hotel security did their job and reported the incident to the police, who in turn did their job. Despite Bobby explaining this was not an ill-intended shove, the police still had to do their job, which Amanda completely respects and understands."

Stanton is the mother of two children and was once engaged to former "Bachelor" star Josh Murray.

 

[C-Man 27041]

Nip?

Edited September 13, 2018 by C-Man

[Mac8111 2103]

“Must be a nipple, because I am drooling ....”

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2724]

God I hope not.  Those would be the worst fried eggs ever.

I have no idea what season or show Kamil was on, but was he a bad guy in that one too?  He was terrible in the finale.  He obviously listened to the people around him that told him he could do much better.  

Goose is a beta of epic proportions.  He walks with his arms always bent to give off the impression he's jacked when he isn't.  I told my wife it is a sure sign of insecurity.  

I'm gathering support for Bachelor Pad to be revived.  Who's with me!!!!!

[TastyLarson 0]

I may be late on this, but is this THE Demi on this season of the Bachelor?

[Go Pokes 979]

I may be late on this, but is this THE Demi on this season of the Bachelor?

Yes. And she’s pretty awful so perfect for this show.

[ajax 2589]

 

lol

[henrygandorf 29174]

at first it seemed obvious that the shitty blonde girl with the dude face was going to be the villain, and would hang around until the inevitable 2-1 date where she would be left stranded somewhere.  but after the first episode, she faded away and now she's gone.  so, now the 2-1 could be demi vs the cougar, or more likely, the two pageant girls facing off.  decent amount of drama, which is all i want in the non-bip shows.

[ajax 2589]

Demi is awesome. Love her.  She's hilarious.

I really haven't watched this show since way back when, when my co-worker was the bachelor (Firestone). I forgot how entertaining it is.

[Lat22 3994]

I hate myself, but I’m all in on this fucking show. 

[Lat22 3994]

16 hours ago, TastyLarson said:

I may be late on this, but is this THE Demi on this season of the Bachelor?

HOLY SHIT!  I knew I recognized her from somewhere. Somewhere other than real life. 

[ajax 2589]

17 hours ago, henrygandorf said:

so, now the 2-1 could be demi vs the cougar, or more likely, the two pageant girls facing off. 

What's surprising is how not attractive the two pageant girls are. I mean they're pretty enough but if you were to rank the least attractive girls it would be

1) cougar who looks like a gypsy bag lady

2) dude-face blonde

3) 1st runner up Miss USA who kind of has a dude-face herself, and

4) psycho basket case  Miss Alabama. Bitch had an emotional breakdown when she had to make a toast (she ended up just saying "roll tide" lol)

 

The two best looking girls are the virgin from Biola University and the other virgin from Biola (never been kissed) who's stirring up shit with bad advice to psycho Miss Alabama.

 

But it seems like Demi is outsmarting all of them, which I was not expecting.

 

[Go Pokes 979]

17 minutes ago, ajax said:

What's surprising is how not attractive the two pageant girls are. I mean they're pretty enough but if you were to rank the least attractive girls it would be

1) cougar who looks like a gypsy bag lady

2) dude-face blonde

3) 1st runner up Miss USA who kind of has a dude-face herself, and

4) psycho basket case  Miss Alabama. Bitch had an emotional breakdown when she had to make a toast (she ended up just saying "roll tide" lol)

 

The two best looking girls are the virgin from Biola University and the other virgin from Biola (never been kissed) who's stirring up shit with bad advice to psycho Miss Alabama.

 

But it seems like Demi is outsmarting all of them, which I was not expecting.

 

Is it me, or do everyone of these girls look weird in this link?  I saw this a few weeks ago and almost all of them have some strange facial characteristic that throws off their entire face.  They either have a very wide or pointy nose.  Or their eyes are fucked up.  Lots of East Texas Box Face.  Looking at them on TV, for the most part, they all look a lot better than in these pictures.  It's like the person who "touched up" the photos played a joke on them all.  

https://abc.go.com/shows/the-bachelor/cast

 

[C-Man 27041]

23 minutes ago, ajax said:

What's surprising is how not attractive the two pageant girls are. I mean they're pretty enough but if you were to rank the least attractive girls it would be

1) cougar who looks like a gypsy bag lady

2) dude-face blonde

3) 1st runner up Miss USA who kind of has a dude-face herself, and

4) psycho basket case  Miss Alabama. Bitch had an emotional breakdown when she had to make a toast (she ended up just saying "roll tide" lol)

 

The two best looking girls are the virgin from Biola University and the other virgin from Biola (never been kissed) who's stirring up shit with bad advice to psycho Miss Alabama.

 

But it seems like Demi is outsmarting all of them, which I was not expecting.

 

 

She's all yours.

I like Cassie and Hannah B. The ginger isn't too shabby.