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Assistant’s dog died

Pancho

By Pancho
in Can You Help Me With This?

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Pancho

Pancho 44,995

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I mean, I don’t personally consider the death of a pet to be on the same level as the death of an human/family member.  Is that wrong?  That’s pretty much why I’m confused as to why people say I should get her something and I’m like “what do you get someone in this case?”

 

 

Note: I don’t own pets, but I play with the pets of my friends.

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Texzilla58

Texzilla58 4,744

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Pancho it depends on your relationship with the coworker and her relationship to the dog. It’s obvious you have little empathy for the loss of a dog and you’re seeking either to be the good boss or bang her.

A puppy? Are you fucking kidding? If she lost a child or sibling would you adopt her a baby? This is a complex part of the process and each dog owner must make their own decisions; not you. She may never want another dog.

Give her a bereavement day and and say you’re sorry for her loss. Not flowers. That’s just weird. A donation is like a gift card. Just give her a day to deal with it.

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Archer

Archer 474

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16 hours ago, Pancho said:

I mean, I don’t personally consider the death of a pet to be on the same level as the death of an human/family member.  Is that wrong?  That’s pretty much why I’m confused as to why people say I should get her something and I’m like “what do you get someone in this case?”

 

 

Note: I don’t own pets, but I play with the pets of my friends.

It varies from person to person. I lost my dad last week and if I’m being honest I was more fucked up when I lost my dog in 2019. My relationship with my dad wasn’t great but it wasn’t bad. 
 

I was appreciative of the cards we received after our dog passed, I took a few days PTO to get away so if you could afford to let her have a bereavement day or two I’m sure that would be appreciated. 

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Pancho

Pancho 44,995

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1 hour ago, Texzilla58 said:

Pancho it depends on your relationship with the coworker and her relationship to the dog. It’s obvious you have little empathy for the loss of a dog and you’re seeking either to be the good boss or bang her.

A puppy? Are you fucking kidding? If she lost a child or sibling would you adopt her a baby? This is a complex part of the process and each dog owner must make their own decisions; not you. She may never want another dog.

Give her a bereavement day and and say you’re sorry for her loss. Not flowers. That’s just weird. A donation is like a gift card. Just give her a day to deal with it.

Little empathy yes because I’ve never owned a pet, so that’s why I wanted ideas. I let her go home early last week for a day, and I might do it again this week.

And as I said earlier, I consider the death of a human to he different than the death of an animal.

Thanks tho!

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Deej

Deej 76,923

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2 hours ago, Pancho said:

And as I said earlier, I consider the death of a human to he different than the death of an animal.

Yeah, it's much more difficult to lose a dog. They actually never really piss you off like people.

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NotActuallyALonghorn

NotActuallyALonghorn 4,977

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21 hours ago, Archer said:

It varies from person to person. I lost my dad last week and if I’m being honest I was more fucked up when I lost my dog in 2019. My relationship with my dad wasn’t great but it wasn’t bad. 
 

I was appreciative of the cards we received after our dog passed, I took a few days PTO to get away so if you could afford to let her have a bereavement day or two I’m sure that would be appreciated. 

But would you have felt better had your boss bought you a new dad?

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Celery Man

Celery Man 20,997

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Was thinking about this last night since I lost my dog recently and at least part of this was Pancho looking for a better empathetic understanding.

Kevin was a dog. Obviously, in real... whatever a dogs life is worth less than a human's and it's not the same as a family member dying. But, as an owner of a dog, it rips a massive hole in your life. Different dogs are different and have different relationships with different members of the family - Kevin was my dog for 13 years from when I was 23 until my mid to late thirties. He loved everyone but he was attached to me - I was his guy. He was next to me almost literally any time we were together, which was most of the time. He used to stick his nose in the shower and lick the water off my leg. He was always there. And so, dead dog - I'm sad in the same way that I would be sad about a person I loved passing. But it's also much more like a part of me is missing. It's been a few months and I've normalized a bit but for a long time I kept catching myself doing things that I would only do because Kevin was there. I'm expecting him to be there anticipating my moves. I go on a walk with just the kid at night, Kevin's not there like he has always been for so long. He was like this big dumb furry extension of myself, and he's gone, and that absence is emotionally painful but the reminders are also just constant. I haven't lost a wife or a child thank god but I could see how losing a dog could sometimes be in some ways but not all ways more difficult than losing a parent or a sibling or someone who you care about and is much more important than an old dog. It sucks. Honestly it's fucked up but I have his ashes in a box with his collar and his bandana on my shelf and I kinda need that. I miss him so much, I'm missing him so much.

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Pancho

Pancho 44,995

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1 hour ago, Celery Man said:

Was thinking about this last night since I lost my dog recently and at least part of this was Pancho looking for a better empathetic understanding.

Kevin was a dog. Obviously, in real... whatever a dogs life is worth less than a human's and it's not the same as a family member dying. But, as an owner of a dog, it rips a massive hole in your life. Different dogs are different and have different relationships with different members of the family - Kevin was my dog for 13 years from when I was 23 until my mid to late thirties. He loved everyone but he was attached to me - I was his guy. He was next to me almost literally any time we were together, which was most of the time. He used to stick his nose in the shower and lick the water off my leg. He was always there. And so, dead dog - I'm sad in the same way that I would be sad about a person I loved passing. But it's also much more like a part of me is missing. It's been a few months and I've normalized a bit but for a long time I kept catching myself doing things that I would only do because Kevin was there. I'm expecting him to be there anticipating my moves. I go on a walk with just the kid at night, Kevin's not there like he has always been for so long. He was like this big dumb furry extension of myself, and he's gone, and that absence is emotionally painful but the reminders are also just constant. I haven't lost a wife or a child thank god but I could see how losing a dog could sometimes be in some ways but not all ways more difficult than losing a parent or a sibling or someone who you care about and is much more important than an old dog. It sucks. Honestly it's fucked up but I have his ashes in a box with his collar and his bandana on my shelf and I kinda need that. I miss him so much, I'm missing him so much.

Thanks for this.  I’ve never owned a dog, but I play with dogs when my friends have them.  You’re right that I was looking for a more empathetic response for my assistant as all I could provide was sympathy, which I thought came off/was coming off as insincere. 

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