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Posted

Y’all are gonna love retirement.  After being on the job at 0630 for many years to start taking patient calls, I now generally don’t give a shit what time it is-unless it’s mealtime.

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Posted

It used to rub me wrong when worker bees would let the microwave go all the way to 0 and that furking beeping sound goes off.  And one more thing, I had to upgrade from Windows XP.  How annoying.

Posted
  On 8/25/2022 at 3:54 PM, nnm said:

I worked for 12 years for a European company. 4 am calls were regular things. Adapt and advance. 

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This. Work with an international company and you realize every meeting time seriously fucks some region's sleep.

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Posted
  On 8/24/2022 at 11:29 AM, deadshank said:

Folks that refuse to be on time for meetings.   I’m taking about the serial offender types.  You’ve got a 5 minute window after the agreed to meeting time.  
 

 

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too generous imo.

 

 

  On 8/24/2022 at 8:41 PM, JesusSweatDuck said:

Also, people who walk around the office barefoot, people who don't wear deodorant, smokers who inhale 4 cigarettes right before a meeting and stink up the entire conference room, people who don't wash their hands after using the restroom, people who talk on the phone in the restroom,

 

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must be bad working at a hippy commune

 

 

Posted
  On 8/24/2022 at 8:47 PM, closetohumping said:

Disagree here.  This is why I spit in my food though.  To get people like you.

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Spit is insufficient,  jizz is insufficient.. a big wad  of public hair spread evenly on the sandwich is the answer.  After a bite or two you'll hear screaming and cussing like never before as they try to get the curlies out of their mouth and out from between their teeth for the rest of the day. 

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Posted
  On 8/24/2022 at 1:34 PM, South Austin said:
Printer etiquette can set me off.  Two examples--
Sending a print job that requires manually loading letterhead or oversized paper, and then taking your sweet as time while you're on the internet before walking down to feed the paper, causing all of the other print jobs in the queue to be delayed.
We have cover pages on all of our print jobs with employee names as a convenient way to separate multiple jobs that come out in rapid successions.  A few folks leave those cover sheets on a cabinet by the printer, when there's a mother fucking recycling trash can right there on the floor next to the printer. 

Our printer queue is set up so that your job doesn’t spool to the printer until you walk up to the printer and scan your badge. If you don’t scan it within an hour, it’s deleted from the network queue. It stopped all that bullshit instantly. IIRC, something like 200K fewer pages were printed in the first year since only shit that needed to be printed was actually printed. An added benefit is that you don’t have to pick a printer. You just print and any printer you scan your badge at will access the common queue.
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Posted
  On 8/27/2022 at 3:46 AM, CooterBrown said:

Our printer queue is set up so that your job doesn’t spool to the printer until you walk up to the printer and scan your badge. If you don’t scan it within an hour, it’s deleted from the network queue. It stopped all that bullshit instantly. IIRC, something like 200K fewer pages were printed in the first year since only shit that needed to be printed was actually printed. An added benefit is that you don’t have to pick a printer. You just print and any printer you scan your badge at will access the common queue.

Same here. It’s quite nice…
Posted
  On 8/27/2022 at 3:46 AM, CooterBrown said:

Our printer queue is set up so that your job doesn’t spool to the printer until you walk up to the printer and scan your badge. If you don’t scan it within an hour, it’s deleted from the network queue. It stopped all that bullshit instantly. IIRC, something like 200K fewer pages were printed in the first year since only shit that needed to be printed was actually printed. An added benefit is that you don’t have to pick a printer. You just print and any printer you scan your badge at will access the common queue.

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But do you have Topo Chico in your break room fridge?

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Posted
  On 8/24/2022 at 4:20 PM, Tom said:


Sure, fair point.  But also don’t start meetings at 8:00 am or the start of the day before I’ve had time to come in and check my email and get settled in.

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Corollary: Don't have someone schedule a 7am meeting on a Monday morning, be the "boss" of all 20 people in the meeting, and then roll in 15 minutes late. Every time the poor meeting organizer says "well, let's get started", then when Mr. boss rolls in everything starts over anyway. I find myself raging at the poor person who was ordered to schedule the thing just as much as the person who let everyone waste 15 minutes at the crack of dawn on Monday.

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Posted
  On 8/27/2022 at 3:32 PM, SurlyORama said:

Corollary: Don't have someone schedule a 7am meeting on a Monday morning, be the "boss" of all 20 people in the meeting, and then roll in 15 minutes late. Every time the poor meeting organizer says "well, let's get started", then when Mr. boss rolls in everything starts over anyway. I find myself raging at the poor person who was ordered to schedule the thing just as much as the person who let everyone waste 15 minutes at the crack of dawn on Monday.

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Anybody that schedules at 7 AM Monday morning meeting should never be in a position to schedule any meeting.   

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Posted

People who sell the fundraising stuff for their kids. Girl Scout cookies, "World's Finest" chocolate, which is really Ex Lax, coupon books full of stuff like an extra small fry with every thirty dollar purchase at Burger Dump or $5 off a Mercedes-Benz. 

The worst are the fund raisers with a catalog and you get a choice between ordering a $30 can of flavored stale popcorn or a $25 plastic key chain with a led flashlight. 

The easiest to deal with is the World's Finest chocolate. I just give them the two bucks and tell them to throw the candy bar in the trash, cause all of it was manufactured during the Carter administration, and they're still trying to sell the left over stock. 

 

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Posted
  On 8/27/2022 at 5:35 PM, Richard Kimball said:

People who sell the fundraising stuff for their kids. Girl Scout cookies, "World's Finest" chocolate, which is really Ex Lax, coupon books full of stuff like an extra small fry with every thirty dollar purchase at Burger Dump or $5 off a Mercedes-Benz. 

The worst are the fund raisers with a catalog and you get a choice between ordering a $30 can of flavored stale popcorn or a $25 plastic key chain with a led flashlight. 

The easiest to deal with is the World's Finest chocolate. I just give them the two bucks and tell them to throw the candy bar in the trash, cause all of it was manufactured during the Carter administration, and they're still trying to sell the left over stock. 

 

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It got so bad at the office they made it so that you could post the sale in the break room but that was it.    People would bring their kids around with them from office to office and give the sad puppy dog eyes to guilt trip you into buying some overpriced crap.   One lady even pushed her grandson around in a wheelchair cause he had a broken leg or something.   

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Posted

I have one coworker (and the only other person who does the same type of work I do, so we have to talk to each other all the time) whom I suspect of being ADHD to an almost crippling extent. 

Litrerally half of our conversations and conversations he has with others go like this....

 

Posted
  On 8/27/2022 at 3:45 PM, tbone_ said:

Yea don’t be fucking late to your own early morning meeting. Lame af.

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Or any meeting that you organize and schedule.  I had an engineer on a project who would schedule progress meetings or meetings to go over technical problems that arose on the project, then be at least 15 minutes late to his own meeting.  I had to call and remind him of one of these meetings.  Asshole wasted hours of other folks' time.  And my employer still hires him for projects, but not mine.

Posted
  On 8/24/2022 at 8:41 PM, JesusSweatDuck said:

people Women who walk around the office barefoot

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FIFY. The old bags at my office would do this on the reg. I thought about telling them about all the piss on the men's room floor that us guys track back into our office, but I decided that not telling them is more fun.

Posted
  On 8/28/2022 at 1:54 AM, Sandman said:

FIFY. The old bags at my office would do this on the reg. I thought about telling them about all the piss on the men's room floor that us guys track back into our office, but I decided that not telling them is more fun.

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Their feet might not be as bad as dirty, hairy Indian feet

Posted

This thread is fantastic.  I've decided that any of the bullshit I mention from my office would be unworthy.  And that's a humblebrag

Posted
  On 8/28/2022 at 1:54 AM, Sandman said:

FIFY. The old bags at my office would do this on the reg. I thought about telling them about all the piss on the men's room floor that us guys track back into our office, but I decided that not telling them is more fun.

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There’s no way that your men’s restroom is dirtier than the women’s restroom. 

Posted

I can't stand it when someone yells for me across the room but won't tell me what they want unless I get up close to them. If I yell "what" and you reply with "come here" I just act like you didn't say anything. 

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Posted
  On 8/29/2022 at 5:08 PM, Kennythetiger said:

There’s no way that your men’s restroom is dirtier than the women’s restroom. 

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The difference is, men’s rooms floors, walls, ceilings, counters, etc., are covered with urine splash. Don’t believe me? Take a blue light into a dark men’s room sometime. 
Women generally confine their splashing to the bowl. Their backsides and thighs effectively contain the splash. 

Posted

Fuckers who are scared to flush the gotdamned toilet.

Go shit in the street you mamby pampy( gross) motherfuckers

Posted (edited)
  On 8/29/2022 at 7:18 PM, Kennythetiger said:

Do you work with goats?  

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It'd be funny if they fainted upon the flush of the toilet.  As it is, they act like they gonna get the plague should they touch a handle, while it's still safe enough for the to walk in the joint.🤬

Edited by slorch
Posted

Ok, for the times -  this half-assed situation that i think a lot of companies/employees are in where leadership really wants the drones to come in and sit at their desks but they either know they'll lose everyone or are just afraid of what will happen if they say that we're done with wfh.

First off, peeve number one - if leadership wants people in the building they should fucking sack up and say why. Have you seen a drop in productivity? Is there data that indicates that remote work is harming the company? "You just can't recreate face to face interaction on a Teams call" ok and what? That means almost nothing at all and should be a team level thing anyways. If you can't say why you want people at their desks it's probably bullshit.

But now we're in this weird fucking mode where people are trying to enforce X days a week in office but it's hit or miss and people are kinda doing their own thing and you have this increasingly mixed on-site/remote stuff that is worse than 100% remote. Drove in today for a feature planning meeting because as the organizer I suppose I should be there. Nobody else there, so I'm sitting in a small conference room running it on my shitty little laptop screen with the lights shutting off every 15 minutes instead of at my complete setup in my home office.

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Posted
  On 8/29/2022 at 6:36 PM, nnm said:

The difference is, men’s rooms floors, walls, ceilings, counters, etc., are covered with urine splash. Don’t believe me? Take a blue light into a dark men’s room sometime.. 

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It's not piss.

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Posted
  On 8/29/2022 at 7:22 PM, slorch said:

It'd be funny if they fainted upon the flush of the toilet.  As it is, they act like they gonna get the plague should they touch a handle, while it's still safe enough for the to walk in the joint.🤬

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reminds me of something i noted on the bottle of toilet bowl cleaner i bought - "Kills COVID-19 Virus."  thanks, now i know it's safe to run my finger around the inside of the bowl and jam my finger up my nose. 

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Posted
  On 8/29/2022 at 8:56 PM, elfenix said:

reminds me of something i noted on the bottle of toilet bowl cleaner i bought - "Kills COVID-19 Virus."  thanks, now i know it's safe to run my finger around the inside of the bowl and jam my finger up my nose. 

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Don’t judge. Some surlyites are into that, I’m sure. 

Posted
  On 8/24/2022 at 1:34 PM, South Austin said:

 

We have cover pages on all of our print jobs with employee names as a convenient way to separate multiple jobs that come out in rapid successions.  A few folks leave those cover sheets on a cabinet by the printer, when there's a mother fucking recycling trash can right there on the floor next to the printer. 

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You need to start delivering the cover sheets to their rightful owners. Make a bit deal of bringing them something it looks like they forgot, etc. 

Posted
  On 8/27/2022 at 4:21 PM, deadshank said:

Anybody that schedules at 7 AM Monday morning meeting should never be in a position to schedule any meeting.   

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Early in my career I was a PM at a GC and our weekly status meetings were 7 am every Monday.  Left after a year.

Posted
  On 8/29/2022 at 7:35 PM, Celery Man said:

Ok, for the times -  this half-assed situation that i think a lot of companies/employees are in where leadership really wants the drones to come in and sit at their desks but they either know they'll lose everyone or are just afraid of what will happen if they say that we're done with wfh.

First off, peeve number one - if leadership wants people in the building they should fucking sack up and say why. Have you seen a drop in productivity? Is there data that indicates that remote work is harming the company? "You just can't recreate face to face interaction on a Teams call" ok and what? That means almost nothing at all and should be a team level thing anyways. If you can't say why you want people at their desks it's probably bullshit.

But now we're in this weird fucking mode where people are trying to enforce X days a week in office but it's hit or miss and people are kinda doing their own thing and you have this increasingly mixed on-site/remote stuff that is worse than 100% remote. Drove in today for a feature planning meeting because as the organizer I suppose I should be there. Nobody else there, so I'm sitting in a small conference room running it on my shitty little laptop screen with the lights shutting off every 15 minutes instead of at my complete setup in my home office.

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Damn, I forgot the most obvious one here.  Having to come back to the office at all. 
 

Our company’s upper mgmt was going on about how we need to come back to make sure we’re all functioning better as a team.  Besides my direct boss, everyone I interact with is via email and is spread out in our regional offices around the country as well as on other continents.  It’s complete bullshit.  Then they go on about how they are going to bring us in food more and have more fun things go on around the office as if that’s going to make us happy to come back.  They are upgrading the office space to make it more relaxing and comfortable.  Hey, you where it’s relaxing and comfortable to do my job?  That place I don’t have to dress up and drive 45 minutes to every day — my office bedroom.

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Posted

shitty laptop screen made me think the irritating the 1-2 punch of underspec'd work machine (and the amount of grief I get trying to buy a beefier machine) and shitty implementation of corporate security software. Love hearing the fan spinning up while it's in my bag, opening up the computer after two hours off the charger closed and the battery is fucking dead. I need the whole office suite and teams and in the browser atlassian and salesforce going basically all the time and the corporate spyware is taking up 1/3rd of my resources and your cost of employing me is what it is lets go ahead and spend the equivalent of a night or two in the airport hilton making sure I don't have to fight the thing I use to complete every single bit of my work 100% of time.

Posted (edited)
  On 8/30/2022 at 12:22 PM, South Austin said:

Then I’m “that guy” who gets referenced in the work pet peeves thread.

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Maybe, but your coworkers are plainly selfish and/or morons, so who gives a shit? 

Perhaps your message would be better received if you crumpled the cover sheets into a ball and shoved them into the offenders' mouths. Maybe work in a catchphrase ("Save the trees!" or similar), perhaps a rewatch of the Toxic Avenger is in order for inspiration? 

You'll likely be the subject of your very own thread after teaching just a few lessons. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
Posted
  On 8/30/2022 at 4:56 AM, DalTxHornFan said:
Any calls on Teams.  The end.

Teams is great. We got rid of our phone system so everything is through Teams.

Install the Teams phone app and as long as it’s open, your status stays green. Run errands around town on the company dime. The app integrates with Car Play so you can join meetings and answer calls while driving around.
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Posted

I like Teams, but it does result in one of my big pet peeves. Some of my coworkers totally overshare when it has zero impact on me. Just got a message from one that says they're taking a 15 minute break. Like I plan my day around knowing when you are taking a break. It has zero impact on me, and I couldn't give a rat's ass when you take a break. 

Posted

Teams is dumb. My coworkers will exclusively use Teams and video calls for even the slightest 1 on 1 interaction. Just call me with your phone. That’s why we’re all lugging these extra cell phones. I see the benefits for a group meeting, but I’d much rather just have a phone call

Posted
  On 8/30/2022 at 7:02 PM, Pig Bellmont said:

Teams is dumb. My coworkers will exclusively use Teams and video calls for even the slightest 1 on 1 interaction. Just call me with your phone. That’s why we’re all lugging these extra cell phones. I see the benefits for a group meeting, but I’d much rather just have a phone call

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Teams is just a tool. The problem is stupid people misusing tools.

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