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Cart Narcs

Celery Man

By Celery Man
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Celery Man

Celery Man 20781

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5 hours ago, After irth said:

Filmed or not, I would beat the ever-living fuck out of that prick.  Kinda moot, though, but I ALWAYS return my cart to the return.  If there's not a return, I'll walk the damn thing back to the store (I can use the damn steps!).  Seems like it's just part of the responsibility of grabbing the damn thing in the first place.  I try to stack the deck in my favor when I'm parking anyway.  I usually park way out, where exit is easy, near the furthest cart return. 

I feel that this makes me a better person.  Or...at least it helps, in some small fashion, to counteract the rest of the evil things I do in life...

i don't think you're fast enough to catch him

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statsman

statsman 5358

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On 8/25/2022 at 11:26 AM, Horn Draoi said:

FAAFO. Keep your hood rat, white trash, meth head hands off my possessions at all times.

I have a bad habit. Walking in a store parking lot, in the designated walkways, if a car doesn’t yield, I pause, yield to it, and slap the trunk as it goes by, to let them know they could have hit someone. This happened a week ago, with a lady who was looking at her phone as she drove past me in the parking lot. She stopped, pissed, and started yelling at me. 
 
“Who do you think you are, hitting my car?”

”I’m the pedestrian you didn’t yield to”.
 
“I’m going to call the police!”

”I’m fine with that. We can tell him how you could have hit me while you we’re looking at your phone”. 

“What if my child were in my car? She could have been hurt!”

(That one confused me. If her daughter were in her car, I still think that I, the pedestrian, was in the greatest danger in a collision)

 I really need to stop doing that. 

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Bullneck 2.0

Bullneck 2.0 43

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On 8/24/2022 at 11:23 AM, Bullneck said:

If the store doesn't have a cart rack within 5 or 6 spaces I put the front wheels on the curb to keep it from rolling and drive off.  I'm not going to inconvenience myself on this subject.  

You bring shame upon us.  Lazybones.  Do better.

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8769

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On 9/4/2022 at 12:02 AM, statsman said:

I have a bad habit. Walking in a store parking lot, in the designated walkways, if a car doesn’t yield, I pause, yield to it, and slap the trunk as it goes by, to let them know they could have hit someone. This happened a week ago, with a lady who was looking at her phone as she drove past me in the parking lot. She stopped, pissed, and started yelling at me. 
 
“Who do you think you are, hitting my car?”

”I’m the pedestrian you didn’t yield to”.
 
“I’m going to call the police!”

”I’m fine with that. We can tell him how you could have hit me while you we’re looking at your phone”. 

“What if my child were in my car? She could have been hurt!”

(That one confused me. If her daughter were in her car, I still think that I, the pedestrian, was in the greatest danger in a collision)

 I really need to stop doing that. 

Lol, gave you a hahaha rep because I could just picture you slapping the trunk and her daughter suddenly flying out of her seat bouncing all over the car.

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hookemATL

hookemATL 11550

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We need automated turrets/machine gun nests to target lazy fat fucking cunts that don’t return the cart.  Same shit ass fuckers that litter or drive like mental defectives. My first act as president would be to institute public stonings for those caught engaging in cunty cart behavior. 

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midtown

midtown 3339

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Cart leaving people are a small representation of our society as a whole now.  The whole I do whatever I want mentality.    And when you get called out for being a cunt you just turn into a raging steroid ken/karen and try to shift the blame to someone else.   It resonates in driving these days.   I've had people day in and day out do some insane things on the road and when I honk at them for cutting across three lanes of traffic in order turn into a driveway they give me the finger as if the horn honk is the asshole part.  not the fact you almost killed me or yourself from a t-bone at 50 mph because you do "whatever you want" 

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NeverMarryAStripper

NeverMarryAStripper 21767

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My daughter watched way too much Sponge Bob growing up.  She always thought it was funny that he couldn't get his driver's license so she started calling the bad drivers in Houston Sponge Bob.  Now, whenever she's in the car and someone cuts us off, or weaves in and out of traffic at high speeds, or runs a red light, or some other dip shit move we both yell out Sponge Bob.  Then I shoot them the finger.

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8769

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3 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

My daughter watched way too much Sponge Bob growing up.  She always thought it was funny that he couldn't get his driver's license so she started calling the bad drivers in Houston Sponge Bob.  Now, whenever she's in the car and someone cuts us off, or weaves in and out of traffic at high speeds, or runs a red light, or some other dip shit move we both yell out Sponge Bob.  Then I shoot them the finger.

Sponge Bob rules.   If I had a dollar for every episode I watched with my 8 grandkids, I'd be a rich man. 

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Deej

Deej 76288

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On 9/4/2022 at 12:02 AM, statsman said:

I have a bad habit. Walking in a store parking lot, in the designated walkways, if a car doesn’t yield, I pause, yield to it, and slap the trunk as it goes by, to let them know they could have hit someone. This happened a week ago, with a lady who was looking at her phone as she drove past me in the parking lot. She stopped, pissed, and started yelling at me. 
 
“Who do you think you are, hitting my car?”

”I’m the pedestrian you didn’t yield to”.
 
“I’m going to call the police!”

”I’m fine with that. We can tell him how you could have hit me while you we’re looking at your phone”. 

“What if my child were in my car? She could have been hurt!”

(That one confused me. If her daughter were in her car, I still think that I, the pedestrian, was in the greatest danger in a collision)

 I really need to stop doing that. 

Smack the back panel and then fall to the ground as if they hit you. 

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Kennythetiger

Kennythetiger 9303

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On 9/5/2022 at 10:22 PM, hookemATL said:

We need automated turrets/machine gun nests to target lazy fat fucking cunts that don’t return the cart.  Same shit ass fuckers that litter or drive like mental defectives. My first act as president would be to institute public stonings for those caught engaging in cunty cart behavior. 

First we kill the folks cashing-in $2.00 lottery tickets and then buying off-brand cigarettes that the clerk can’t find. R.I.P., mother-in-law. 
Then, we go after the lazy bones and litterers. 

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hookemATL

hookemATL 11550

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1 hour ago, Kennythetiger said:

First we kill the folks cashing-in $2.00 lottery tickets and then buying off-brand cigarettes that the clerk can’t find. R.I.P., mother-in-law. 
Then, we go after the lazy bones and litterers. 

Check writers. Express lane abusers. Aisle blockers. People wearing pajamas. 

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Celery Man

Celery Man 20781

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I would watch a similar series on people who quad park cars that are worth less than 50 grand (not that that is the cutoff where double/quad parking ceases to be a jackass move). Just like an earnest

"Oh bro is this your car? Wow wow - ok viewers this is an 08 Altima Hey buddy can you show us what you did with the headlights here, yeah this for a youtube channel on street rockets" and never breaking character get a breakdown on all the modifications, have him move the mcdonalds wrappers so you can sit inside, get him to lie to you about what he does for a living, etc

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Crapinon

Crapinon 2244

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13 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

I watch a few of these at night now thanks to this thread

Last nights with the bengal fans was insane. And the guy playing peace maker was a bigger idiot than the. Bengal fans.
 

What an asshole. Anyone who runs up to a car going "wee-ooo, wee-ooo" waving flags needs his ass kicked. Yeah it's a jerk move not to put your cart up but he spends 7 minutes being a dick. If he really cared about putting up carts he could clear the entire parking lot in 10 mins. He's worse than a chihuahua. Running up and getting in people's faces, then running away when he's confronted, mouthing off all the time. 

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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8791

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What an asshole. Anyone who runs up to a car going "wee-ooo, wee-ooo" waving flags needs his ass kicked. Yeah it's a jerk move not to put your cart up but he spends 7 minutes being a dick. If he really cared about putting up carts he could clear the entire parking lot in 10 mins. He's worse than a chihuahua. Running up and getting in people's faces, then running away when he's confronted, mouthing off all the time. 

From all of that you thought the narc was a dick even tho others are threatening him, cussing,screaming at him because they know they’re being lazy losers?

Sometimes the narc goes a little and beyond when it’s clear some are unhinged….but whatever, he’s trying to get people to do better. My moms vehicle would appreciate more narcs spreading the good awareness and less 15 inch gashes in the front fender because some people decide to suck
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Grade of D as in David

Grade of D as in David 13253

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1 hour ago, Crapinon said:

What an asshole. Anyone who runs up to a car going "wee-ooo, wee-ooo" waving flags needs his ass kicked. Yeah it's a jerk move not to put your cart up but he spends 7 minutes being a dick. If he really cared about putting up carts he could clear the entire parking lot in 10 mins. He's worse than a chihuahua. Running up and getting in people's faces, then running away when he's confronted, mouthing off all the time. 

Ok lazy bones.

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RollLeft

RollLeft 5038

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1 hour ago, Crapinon said:

What an asshole. Anyone who runs up to a car going "wee-ooo, wee-ooo" waving flags needs his ass kicked. Yeah it's a jerk move not to put your cart up but he spends 7 minutes being a dick. If he really cared about putting up carts he could clear the entire parking lot in 10 mins. He's worse than a chihuahua. Running up and getting in people's faces, then running away when he's confronted, mouthing off all the time. 

Agreed, he is being an asshole and needs his ass kicked just a bit less than the inconsiderate assholes that leave their carts or worse that argue not to put their carts back.  

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Crapinon

Crapinon 2244

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LOL. I didn't mean to strike a nerve. I agree they are a couple of degrees more an asshole for not putting their carts up. I always put mine up and will even put stray ones up if they're close to me. But if he cares that much, he could just ask them to consider it, mentioning the fact that they could do thousands of $$$ in damage to a paint job. The whole chihuahua based confrontational act just pisses me off. If he wants to really make a point, ram their vehicle with the basket and they'll remember next time.

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General Specific

General Specific 3169

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LOL. I didn't mean to strike a nerve. I agree they are a couple of degrees more an asshole for not putting their carts up. I always put mine up and will even put stray ones up if they're close to me. But if he cares that much, he could just ask them to consider it, mentioning the fact that they could do thousands of $$$ in damage to a paint job. The whole chihuahua based confrontational act just pisses me off. If he wants to really make a point, ram their vehicle with the basket and they'll remember next time.

WTF!

So, be an even bigger asshole by ramming a cart into their car??? No wonder this world is the way it is.
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nnm

nnm 35777

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7 hours ago, Hornius Emeritus said:

Not only do I put my cart in the corral every time, I hang out in the parking lot and put other people's carts in the corral.  Good way to spend a morning.

Good for you. HEB pays a living wage these days. 

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52-80

52-80 19015

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1 minute ago, Celery Man said:

speed, strength, agility, character. wonder if agent sebastian has any eligibility

i think the cartoon is based on this guy, who I had earlier opined must be a surly poster and is the best cart villain in the canon

 

 

"get away from my car or ill beat your fucking ass"

"no you wont - look at yourself"

 

 

LMAO

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Atxracer

Atxracer 797

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On 9/23/2022 at 8:31 AM, Crapinon said:

What an asshole. Anyone who runs up to a car going "wee-ooo, wee-ooo" waving flags needs his ass kicked. Yeah it's a jerk move not to put your cart up but he spends 7 minutes being a dick. If he really cared about putting up carts he could clear the entire parking lot in 10 mins. He's worse than a chihuahua. Running up and getting in people's faces, then running away when he's confronted, mouthing off all the time. 

 

On 9/23/2022 at 10:35 AM, Mittens said:

You mean, other than making videos that have millions of views on a channel w/ close to half a million subscribers, being talked about all over the internet?

Damnit.  I am really torn between these two thoughts.  As someone that always puts their cart up, i really want this guy to get the shit kicked out of him because he’s annoying.  And, if he ever threw a magnet at one of my cars, my lazy bones ass would do everything I could to be that person.  But, on the other, his annoying ass is reaching a lot of people and educating them on what they should be doing.  Our world is a messed up place that allows annoying behavior to be justified as acceptable for the greater good.  

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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 53799

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On 9/23/2022 at 8:31 AM, Crapinon said:

What an asshole. Anyone who runs up to a car going "wee-ooo, wee-ooo" waving flags needs his ass kicked. Yeah it's a jerk move not to put your cart up but he spends 7 minutes being a dick. If he really cared about putting up carts he could clear the entire parking lot in 10 mins. He's worse than a chihuahua. Running up and getting in people's faces, then running away when he's confronted, mouthing off all the time. 

Which episode were you in?

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Crapinon

Crapinon 2244

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10 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

Which episode were you in?

I was in the episode where the old man gets shot in the parking lot and hauled off in a cart by the Cart Narc after running up running up to both of them yelling "why don't the both of you shut the hell up and quit being assholes".  

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ABSR

ABSR 5281

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On 8/27/2022 at 5:09 PM, Henry Hill said:

You know stadiums pay people to pick up trash, right? I try to put mine in the trash can but if I throw it on the ground in front of my seat because I'm a lazy piece of shit, it doesn't make me a bad person.

You know businesses pay people to clean their bathrooms.  I try to shit in the toilet and piss in the urinal, but if I miss or want to use the urinal to take a dump or piss all over the floor because I'm a waste of flesh, it doesn't make me a bad person.

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