Would you press charges? (incident at middle school)

[Hmbre97 6307]

My oldest just started in middle school this year (6th grade) and already had an incident last Friday at school. I have an inquiry out to a friend of a friend family law atty for his opinion but would also like Surly to weigh in.

He was walking from his 7th period class which is upstairs and while walking down the stairs, a 7th grader pushed him from behind, sending him down about 10-12 stairs. Luckily he landed in such a way that he landed on his right side and fortunately didn't hit his head or anything else critical. We took him to the ER as he said his hip hurt pretty bad and his forearm was numb (he landed on his elbow) but xrays came out clean so walked away with just some bruising and soreness.

When they pulled him into the nurses office, he initially thought he tripped but the school pulled security footage and saw where it was a very intentional push. They were able to identify who it was; a female 7th grader that has had no interactions with my son. From interviews, they believe it was just a case of this student wanted to push someone down the stairs and my son just happened to be there. I tend to believe this as all his classes and lunch are only with other 6th graders. He's also a very easy going kid so I know it wasn't a case of him popping off to someone in the hall or anything. 

I had a call with the principal and security officer today and it was inferred that the student was suspended and also some comments were made that this isn't this students first incident at the school. We have the choice to press charges. We haven't been allowed to see the video but the principal and counselor have said it's very tough to watch. My opinion is leaning to pressing charges due to the severity of what happened. If it was just a push in the hallway or a shove into the lockers, I'd let it go. Pushing someone down stairs is some psycho shit. My ex is a little hesitant to do it out of concern of retaliation. My opinion is if we were to get to see the video, it wouldn't even be a second thought to press charges. No one gave a shit about Ray Rice until the video leaked.

What say you Surl?

[chainsaw 9865]

2 minutes ago, Hmbre97 said:

My oldest just started in middle school this year (6th grade) and already had an incident last Friday at school. I have an inquiry out to a friend of a friend family law atty for his opinion but would also like Surly to weigh in.

He was walking from his 7th period class which is upstairs and while walking down the stairs, a 7th grader pushed him from behind, sending him down about 10-12 stairs. Luckily he landed in such a way that he landed on his right side and fortunately didn't hit his head or anything else critical. We took him to the ER as he said his hip hurt pretty bad and his forearm was numb (he landed on his elbow) but xrays came out clean so walked away with just some bruising and soreness.

When they pulled him into the nurses office, he initially thought he tripped but the school pulled security footage and saw where it was a very intentional push. They were able to identify who it was; a female 7th grader that has had no interactions with my son. From interviews, they believe it was just a case of this student wanted to push someone down the stairs and my son just happened to be there. I tend to believe this as all his classes and lunch are only with other 6th graders. He's also a very easy going kid so I know it wasn't a case of him popping off to someone in the hall or anything. 

I had a call with the principal and security officer today and it was inferred that the student was suspended and also some comments were made that this isn't this students first incident at the school. We have the choice to press charges. We haven't been allowed to see the video but the principal and counselor have said it's very tough to watch. My opinion is leaning to pressing charges due to the severity of what happened. If it was just a push in the hallway or a shove into the lockers, I'd let it go. Pushing someone down stairs is some psycho shit. My ex is a little hesitant to do it out of concern of retaliation. My opinion is if we were to get to see the video, it wouldn't even be a second thought to press charges. No one gave a shit about Ray Rice until the video leaked.

What say you Surl?

If she does this to another parent's kid, would you be able to live with your decision to have done nothing?

[Hmbre97 6307]

BTW, the security officer didn't say the exact charge but did say it would be a Class A misdemeanor

[BabaYaga 15290]

Fuck that beesh.  Kid intentionally pushed my kid down the stairs....fuck you.  Cold have been really, really bad.  

Life lesson on consequences.  

[South Austin 52466]

You should definitely press charges.

My son also just started middle school, and it's definitely not the safe haven that his elementary school was for the past 6 years.  He's gotten a couple light shoves in passing from some other kids.  He said it's not personal, just older kids who want to throw their weight around, and it's not enough to dampen his enthusiasm for middle school.  My daughter, who's now a junior, said that happened to her on occasion when she was a sixth grader.  Let's face it -- middle school sucks, and you're going to find a lot more assholes there than in elementary school.  I've always tried to avoid being a helicopter parent, and I think it's good to just let your kids navigate these experiences on their own without going to a teacher or principal.  They'll be better for it.

That said, when it comes to physical harm to my kid, or something that rises to the level of targeted bullying (thankfully neither has ever happened to my kids), that's where I draw the line and throw off the gloves.  I know it's a 7th grader and I'm guessing there's a chance that her home life might be less than ideal.  But fuck her, especially since this isn't her first transgression.  Your kid could've been hurt a lot worse.  She needs and deserves the most severe consequences available.

I'm sorry this happened to your son, and glad it's not worse. 

Edited August 29, 2022 by South Austin

[InkaUtexas 25911]

Teach her a lesson. You don't walk through life as an asshole without paying for it at sometime. 

[Hmbre97 6307]

10 minutes ago, South Austin said:

You should definitely press charges.

My son also just started middle school, and it's definitely not the safe haven that his elementary school was for the past 6 years.  He's gotten a couple light shoves in passing from some other kids.  He said it's not personal, just an older kid who wants to throw his weight around.  My daughter, who's now a junior, said that happened to her on occasion when she was a sixth grader.  Let's face it -- middle school sucks, and you're going to find a lot more assholes there than in elementary school.  I've always tried to avoid being a helicopter parent, and I think it's good to just let your kids navigate these experiences on their own without going to a teacher or principal.  They'll be better for it.

That said, when it comes to physical harm to my kid, or something that rises to the level of targeted bullying (thankfully neither has ever happened to my kids), that's where I draw the line and throw off the gloves.  I know it's a 7th grader and I'm guessing there's a chance that her home life might be less than ideal.  But fuck her, especially since this isn't her first transgression.  Your kid could've been hurt a lot worse.  She needs and deserves the most severe consequences available.

I'm sorry this happened to your son, and glad it's not worse. 

 

Yep, I secretly worried for my son as he's a quiet kid that has lead a sheltered life going to a great elementary school where nothing like this would every happen and he's never faced any kind of bullying before. I just had no idea we'd be 8 days into the school year and have something like this happen. I had already talked to him a bit before school started about him being the new kids at school and how kids turn into assholes as they get older but after this happened, his level of concern seems to be registering a zero-point-zero since a) he didn't do anything to provoke it and b) he has no idea who pushed him. Maybe he'll keep his head on a bit of a swivel now though. 

Edited August 29, 2022 by Hmbre97

[fattyflattie 4639]

3 minutes ago, InkaUtexas said:

Teach her a lesson. You don't walk through life as an asshole without paying for it at sometime. 

Qfmft

[Post Oak 20210]

To me this seems like a reasonable option that no ones considered.

 

[Armybrat 40832]

Mrs. Brat fell down three steps (she did not see them) at St. Paul’s Cathedral in London four years ago. 
She landed flat on her face breaking her nose & glasses, with blood splattering everywhere. She also broke her wrist so badly it required surgery to insert a metal plate & screws to hold it together. She also bruised her legs so bad she could not walk for almost three weeks and had to use a wheelchair. Her face was swollen for a couple of weeks, as were her legs. 
That’s from missing three stairs.

 

[conVINCEd 21469]

Fuck her mother.

[MoJames 8244]

23 minutes ago, Hmbre97 said:

My ex is a little hesitant to do it out of concern of retaliation.

Push her down the stairs.

[chainsaw 9865]

1 minute ago, MoJames said:

Push her down the stairs.

the student or the ex?

[LW Goatman 1122]

18 minutes ago, Hmbre97 said:

BTW, the security officer didn't say the exact charge but did say it would be a Class A misdemeanor

Assuming this is Texas, it is assault which is indeed a Class A misdemeanor. Yes, press charges, I don't even know why they are asking the cop should just file the case.

Nothing happens to minors in juvenile court (she'll probably get probation), unless she's had other convictions, but they will have to go through the process which hopefully deters the kid from doing it again. 

Statute is below and fairly simple. Bodily injury in Texas is defined as physical pain, illness, or any impairment of physical condition. 

 

PENAL CODE

TITLE 5. OFFENSES AGAINST THE PERSON

CHAPTER 22. ASSAULTIVE OFFENSES

Sec. 22.01. ASSAULT. (a) A person commits an offense if the person:

(1) intentionally, knowingly, or recklessly causes bodily injury to another, including the person's spouse;

[chainsaw 9865]

1 minute ago, LW Goatman said:

Assuming this is Texas, it is assault which is indeed a Class A misdemeanor. Yes, press charges, I don't even know why they are asking the cop should just file the case.

Nothing happens to minors in juvenile court (she'll probably get probation), unless she's had other convictions, but they will have to go through the process which hopefully deters the kid from doing it again. 

Statute is below and fairly simple. Bodily injury in Texas is defined as physical pain, illness, or any impairment of physical condition. 

 

PENAL CODE

TITLE 5. OFFENSES AGAINST THE PERSON

CHAPTER 22. ASSAULTIVE OFFENSES

Sec. 22.01. ASSAULT. (a) A person commits an offense if the person:

(1) intentionally, knowingly, or recklessly causes bodily injury to another, including the person's spouse;

I don't know if putting her in "the system" will do anything but introduce her to even worse criminals and deviants. But it's what she deserves.

[RockyMountainHighHorn 890]

Yea do it don’t feel bad. I worry your son may be labeled a narc by that crowd but I assume that’s a crowd that he shouldn’t hang around in the first place. The real weighing here is the emotional stress on your son by “tattling” versus doing what’s right. I think it’s a good time to teach your son a valuable lesson about teaching lessons and press charges. Middle/high school sucks so regardless there’s not a “win” option that I see so might as well protect your son. 

[South Austin 52466]

6 minutes ago, chainsaw said:

the student or the ex?

[HornPhD 1368]

Glad your son is okay. My son is one of the smallest boys in 9th grade and I worry about him being a target.

Has the school mentioned the possibility of the 7th grader being placed in an Alternative Education Program? 

It will be interesting to hear what your attorney contact says. 

[BabaYaga 15290]

1 minute ago, RockyMountainHighHorn said:

Yea do it don’t feel bad. I worry your son may be labeled a narc by that crowd but I assume that’s a crowd that he shouldn’t hang around in the first place. The real weighing here is the emotional stress on your son by “tattling” versus doing what’s right. I think it’s a good time to teach your son a valuable lesson about teaching lessons and press charges. Middle/high school sucks so regardless there’s not a “win” option that I see so might as well protect your son. 

It's not "tattling" when the nurse and principal are brought in and THEN reach out to the parents after security footage is pulled.  

[HornPhD 1368]

5 minutes ago, chainsaw said:

8 minutes ago, LW Goatman said:

Nothing happens to minors in juvenile court (she'll probably get probation), unless she's had other convictions, but they will have to go through the process which hopefully deters the kid from doing it again.  

What about court ordered counseling? Or is that only in the movies?

[RDCanecutter 26411]

Ignore son, encourage him to learn bonsai tree care from Okinawan handyman.

[LW Goatman 1122]

13 minutes ago, chainsaw said:

I don't know if putting her in "the system" will do anything but introduce her to even worse criminals and deviants. But it's what she deserves.

She'll likely be put on juvenile probation which will require a bunch of stuff that sucks like meet with a probation officer, drug testing, school attendance and performance requirements, curfew, etc. The purpose is to make sure they are being good kids and hopefully deters another episode. If they violate conditions of probation, the judge could extend the probation or order confinement in a juvenile detention facility. 

Oh, and if this all happens, and the kid gets probation, ask the DA's office (victims services, the prosecutor, etc) for restitution for the costs associated with your ER visit...this is something the judge can order as a condition of probation. 

Edited August 29, 2022 by LW Goatman
1234

[52-80 19150]

imagine the law is like one of vic mackey's girlfriend.

apply the full weight of the law.

[gyroprotagonist 2592]

6 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

It's not "tattling" when the nurse and principal are brought in and THEN reach out to the parents after security footage is pulled.  

first glad your boy is OK.  but, yeah, i would just treat this like it was out of your hands and charges were filed.  fuck the other student just getting ISS or whatever for this.

[DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt 12301]

For sure press charges. She could have seriously injured your son. If the injuries had been much more severe, would this even be a question in your mind?

[tx 3 putt 76907]

100% yes, that kid needs help and/or her ass kicked 

[sidis 9826]

1 hour ago, Hmbre97 said:

My oldest just started in middle school this year (6th grade) and already had an incident last Friday at school. I have an inquiry out to a friend of a friend family law atty for his opinion but would also like Surly to weigh in.

He was walking from his 7th period class which is upstairs and while walking down the stairs, a 7th grader pushed him from behind, sending him down about 10-12 stairs. Luckily he landed in such a way that he landed on his right side and fortunately didn't hit his head or anything else critical. We took him to the ER as he said his hip hurt pretty bad and his forearm was numb (he landed on his elbow) but xrays came out clean so walked away with just some bruising and soreness.

When they pulled him into the nurses office, he initially thought he tripped but the school pulled security footage and saw where it was a very intentional push. They were able to identify who it was; a female 7th grader that has had no interactions with my son. From interviews, they believe it was just a case of this student wanted to push someone down the stairs and my son just happened to be there. I tend to believe this as all his classes and lunch are only with other 6th graders. He's also a very easy going kid so I know it wasn't a case of him popping off to someone in the hall or anything. 

I had a call with the principal and security officer today and it was inferred that the student was suspended and also some comments were made that this isn't this students first incident at the school. We have the choice to press charges. We haven't been allowed to see the video but the principal and counselor have said it's very tough to watch. My opinion is leaning to pressing charges due to the severity of what happened. If it was just a push in the hallway or a shove into the lockers, I'd let it go. Pushing someone down stairs is some psycho shit. My ex is a little hesitant to do it out of concern of retaliation. My opinion is if we were to get to see the video, it wouldn't even be a second thought to press charges. No one gave a shit about Ray Rice until the video leaked.

What say you Surl?

just curious, do you live in a city/large suburb or in a small town?

no question about it in my mind...that is sociopathic behavior and a red flag.  but i also recognize it is easy to provide such commentary from the stands.

Edited August 29, 2022 by sidis

[Samson's Wig 3191]

Press charges.  No question.  I have a son and daughter just a year behind yours in school. I'm scared to death for them regarding middle school next year.  I'm even more concerned about how I would handle something like this.  The True Detective clip above could easily be me when my blood is up, and fucking with my kids will do that faster than anything else.   Whoever this girl is, she likely has parents who are either pieces of shit or complete absentee parents (which is the same thing).  Nip that shit in the bud.

 

Another option is for your son to scout out blind spots in the security camera system and return the favor.  (Not really, but kinda, no not really...maybe.). That might ensure he's isn't fucked with again though.

[InkaUtexas 25911]

9 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

Ignore son, encourage him to learn bonsai tree care from Okinawan handyman.

Son was suspended in Middle School. Kicked the shit out of a bully being a dick to a disabled kid. Punishment? 4 days suspension. Gets home, scared to death of what I will do.  Made him help me and his uncle dig a duck pond in clay. Reward, Dad gave zero fucks and handed him an ice cold shiner when we were done every evening. Last fight he got into. Bully will never forget he got the shit kicked out of him. Sometimes you need to do what is right.  

TL/DNR: Bully's need to get their ass handed to them. Mr. Miyagi style is fine in my book. 

 

[Updawg 2266]

Sounds like she has a history. Most kids are probably avoiding her so I wouldn’t worry about the narc aspect. School probably wants to press charges to build a case on her.

Some kids are just trouble like that.

Them checking video makes me think it has happened before

[TKthunder2 4990]

Fuck, glad your kid is okay, but if it’s my kid I’m 100% pressing charges.

A straight up fight or push outside is one thing, but pushing someone unsuspecting for no reason down the stairs isn’t something I would ever be able to let go.  You guys are lucky he wasn’t badly injured.

[InkaUtexas 25911]

Just now, Samson's Wig said:

Press charges.  No question.  I have a son and daughter just a year behind yours in school. I'm scared to death for them regarding middle school next year.  I'm even more concerned about how I would handle something like this.  The True Detective clip above could easily be me when my blood is up, and fucking with my kids will do that faster than anything else.   Whoever this girl is, she likely has parents who are either pieces of shit or complete absentee parents (which is the same thing).  Nip that shit in the bud.

 

Another option is for your son to scout out blind spots in the security camera system and return the favor.  (Not really, but kinda, no not really...maybe.). That might ensure he's isn't fucked with again though.

so you are saying call in the surly uncles? 

[Steel Shank 9422]

Sounds like that little tart needs a sound and deliberate spanking.

[RDCanecutter 26411]

Kinda weird that the school has video of her pushing somebody down the stairs, and won't even put her in an alternate school. Is her mom some sort of super-Karen local politician? 

[Mitch Cumsteen 18547]

I don't understand why it is your decision to press charges. That seems like a cop out for the school so that they don't have to claim responsibility when the kid's parents get upset about this, "Oh, we were just going to suspend her but the other parents want to press charges and now the police are involved." 

The other thing I would consider in not pressing charges is if it is going to put undue stress on your kid. Is he going to have to testify? I don't know if I'd want to put my kid through that. Otherwise, that kid needs to be held responsible. 

[Brisketexan 105096]

Yeah.....we had a couple of issues when the kids were in middle and high school.  Nothing this bad -- we got school discipline involved, and an offender was even sent to the "alternative school."  But had it been an act with potentially fatal repercussions....yeah, you file charges.  This wasn't "shoved in the hallway."  It was "shoved down the stairs," as in "that is a way you can murder someone."  Agree with the general tone of the advice you're getting here.

[sidis 9826]

39 minutes ago, Post Oak said:

To me this seems like a reasonable option that no ones considered.

 

i gotta say, the line "if you ever bully or harm anyone else, i'll come back and buttfuck your father with your mom's headless corpse right on this lawn" may set the bar.  i kinda wish sark would have adopted that as the team/recruiting mantra instead of all gas no brakes.

[statsman 5457]

I’ve seen this in the movies before. Your son needs to go out to the playground for recess, find the biggest, meanest girl in the whole middle school, and pick a fight with her. (Sucker punching her is a good idea). Then, they’ll know who the boss is. (“I’m fucking Bob Ross, bitch! I’m boss!”)

 (No, seriously, press charges)

[cactusflinthead 27598]

Might be time for this girl to learn that actions have consequences. File.

[South Austin 52466]

5 minutes ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

The other thing I would consider in not pressing charges is if it is going to put undue stress on your kid. Is he going to have to testify? I don't know if I'd want to put my kid through that. Otherwise, that kid needs to be held responsible. 

He'd probably have to testify, even with the video showing the little bitch doing the deed.  But given that there's video, will this really go to trial?  Seems like she should plea for some sort or reduced fine or time in a juvenile facility, or an agreement to attend some other school. 

[TwiceHorn 31451]

42 minutes ago, chainsaw said:

I don't know if putting her in "the system" will do anything but introduce her to even worse criminals and deviants. But it's what she deserves.

I don't imagine she'll go "into the system."  It is possible that she gets some counseling and maybe some parental intervention if that's called for.

[smoky 840]

Regardless of you pressing charges or not, what's the school planning on doing as a punishment?

[ChickenSandwich 9833]

The only reason you are even considering not pressing charges is that your son (thankfully) avoided major injury.  He falls inches the other way, the consequences could be serious and no one would consider not pressing charges.

 

Her getting lucky and not seriously injuring your son is no reason to not press criminal charges, the next parent who would be her next victim will thank you.

[BabaYaga 15290]

18 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

Kinda weird that the school has video of her pushing somebody down the stairs, and won't even put her in an alternate school. Is her mom some sort of super-Karen local politician? 

Mom is probably a realtor and hates Indians.....

[Helobious 9448]

Your kid sounds like he’s hiding the fact that he’s scared. There’s no mistaking a trip for a shove from behind. File charges on that little bitch. It’s a misdemeanor, it’ll never go to trial, it may even ultimately get dismissed. But it’ll probably be a pain for her & her family (if they’re even in the picture) to deal with regardless and may lead to her straightening out somewhat. 

[Johnny Sack 8397]

1 hour ago, InkaUtexas said:

Teach her a lesson. You don't walk through life as an asshole without paying for it at sometime. 

Absolutely.

That isn't some shove on a playground or in the locker room.  That is aggravated assault and could have ended really bad.

[Post Oak 20210]

Do you have any medical bills from the incident?

[babysdaddy 2721]

Based on the facts, absolutely.   But retaliation is 100% going to happen. 

[sidis 9826]

3 minutes ago, babysdaddy said:

Based on the facts, absolutely.   But retaliation is 100% going to happen. 

in what form?

[babysdaddy 2721]

No idea.  physical, shit talk, exclusion, being known as a kid that would run to the police, etc.