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Posted
14 hours ago, Message Board User said:

 

Hijackers Surprised To Find Selves In Hell is one of my favorite Onion articles. 

https://www.theonion.com/hijackers-surprised-to-find-selves-in-hell-1819566162

 

Quote

"I was told that these Americans were enemies of the one true religion, and that Heaven would be my reward for my noble sacrifice," said Alomari, moments before his jaw was sheared away by faceless homunculi. "But now I am forced to suckle from the 16 poisoned leathern teats of Gophahmet, Whore of Betrayal, until I burst from an unwholesome engorgement of curdled bile. This must be some sort of terrible mistake."

 

  • Hook 'Em 2
Posted
8 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Trust me, your future husband has held his stem many times.

I was about to say "Her future husband will be holding his bare stem routinely after that ceremony is finished"  

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Posted
27 minutes ago, Braff Zacklin said:

Famous for her girth in 1898, but she'd just be your average Walmart patron in 2021.

Yeah, but Tea Cup Sallie, clearly works. 

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