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Born Burnt

By Born Burnt
in Lulz

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Kennythetiger

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10 hours ago, AUS-97HORN said:

reminds me of the bullshit stories where parents in 1981-84 needed to check their kids candy to make sure lunatic psychos didnt lace it with poison or some shit.

 

My mother bit that fucking rumor HARD.   despite zero evidence of it ever happening anywhere in the US, the news channels ran stories on how to identify tampered candy.

she confiscated my haul for 48 hours after Halloween to "make sure no one else got sick"

 

we were ON A FUCKING ARMY BASE for fuck sake.....

Late 80s, we lived in the country, as did my cousin’s family. My grandmother lived in town, so her house was our base of operations for Halloween. 
When we were done trick or treating, we’d have to dump our loot on Grandma’s table so my dad could go through it for safety reasons. 
Snickers, Reese’s, M&Ms were always confiscated but somehow Skittles, gummy worms, sweet tarts were always safe to eat. 

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Trey3216

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28 minutes ago, SquishMitten said:

Bigger red flag to me is who the hell has life insurance policies on their young children?

We do a lot of 20 pay whole life policies on children as gifting mechanisms and such, but also a lot because sometimes the world is just wild.  What happens if your kid wants to join the military and then gets married to a Killeen special?  They can't really buy life insurance other than the government max policy, so if you had insurance on them when they were young it's still intact.  What happens if your kid gets cancer but is fine?  Some companies won't insure them for a long while.  They get married and have kids and are uninsurable, unless you already bought and paid for it.  Use the cash value to buy their first car, as additional college money, etc.   It's a smart way to create some down-generational wealth for cheap when done at a young age.   

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ztejas

ztejas 43519

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On 9/28/2021 at 8:23 PM, Message Board User said:

 

No they aren't "laced" with THC they clearly state on the package that it's a Marijuana product and to keep out of reach of children. 

And no one is giving your kids expensive thc edibles.

Dumb fucks like this are why pot is still federally illegal. 

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Marfa Low Crown

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1 hour ago, Trey3216 said:

 

Folks THIS is you get drunk.^^ 

it reminds me of a friend I had in Austin, Dave. Legendary drunk. 
 

He came in to work one day and was pissed off because somebody had stolen his bicycle.

four or five days later I went out with him for drinks in his favorite part of town. we are sitting in a bar overlooking the street & after a minute he says wait a minute that’s my bike over there. It was chained up.

so he wanted to sit there and watch for a while, catch the the thief, and we did until it finally dawned on me. You guys already know where this is going.

finally I said Dave go over there and take a closer look at your bike. He did. 
his bike. His lock. 
 

yeah… that’s how you do it  

 

 

 

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Trey3216

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8 minutes ago, Hmbre97 said:

I'm on board with "checking candy". My check consists of eating all the shit I like out of their bag. If I don't get sick, dig in.

My checking candy involves going to the grocery store at around 11:30am during the week and watching the candy walk around in yoga pants  

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Hmbre97

Hmbre97 6325

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40 minutes ago, Trey3216 said:

My checking candy involves going to the grocery store at around 11:30am during the week and watching the candy walk around in yoga pants  

As long as it's the days leading up to Halloween. The days after when the candy goes on sale draw a MUCH different crowd...

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NWBuck

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4 hours ago, Hmbre97 said:

I'm on board with "checking candy". My check consists of eating all the shit I like out of their bag. If I don't get sick, dig in.

Yup. We believe in "tribute" at my house (because the wife still won't let me teach the young'uns about "the vig")

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nnm

nnm 36480

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2 hours ago, NWBuck said:

Yup. We believe in "tribute" at my house (because the wife still won't let me teach the young'uns about "the vig")

Parent tax. When you serve a slice of pie/cake, ice cream, etc. to your kid, put it in front of them and then take your fork/spoon and cut off at least a third.  Proceed to eat it in front of them, explaining that it’s the parent tax. Teaches them to have the proper attitude toward taxation. 

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