The ABIA Thread of Gross Incompetence

[Js1 85258]

1 hour ago, midtown said:

Yeah. Unless Austin operates different than most airports; inbound international gates can be used for intl and domestic and outbound can be any gate as long as it can handle the metal.   

Something something South Austin’s mom can handle the metal 

[Fudge Nuggets 19184]

2 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Well.....that's fucking lovely.  We fly out to the UK today.  Fortunately not till after 6 pm, but shit.  Gonna get there super-early now.

If flights are delayed and getting stacked up through the day, wouldn't it be better to arrive later?  Or do you like spending extra time in airports for no reason?

 

[bschoolprof 6251]

2 hours ago, crash_davis said:

How the fuck does Austin critical infrastructure not have Emergency Response Plans and Disaster Recovery Plans. How are they not testing generators and other backup systems on a regular basis? Surely the geniuses made sure they have enough back up power/generators to run the airport and critical systems? Surely they tested those backup systems to make sure when an emergency happens, those systems are in working order.

We went through this shit with Austin Water during Icepocalypse. The City hasn't learned shit from it.

Remember when we lost water for a week because the water treatment facility had a backup generator that no one knew how to activate?  That's Austin in a nutshell for you.  The city cares more about hotels for the homeless or imbedding artists within the watershed department than actual real shit that will matter to its citizens.   

[SquishMitten 10403]

1 hour ago, Updawg said:

If you are stuck in an Uber right now at the entrance to abia how does that work? Or a cab

What a shitshow

This got me curious. From what I can gather online, this sucks way more for the driver than the passenger. Your fare will be higher, but the per/minute aspect is a far less significant portion of the total bill. I couldn't find the rates specific to Austin, but the national average for Lyft is $.90/mile but only $.09/minute. So, if you were stuck in that traffic jam for 3 hours, it would apparently only cost you an extra ~$16. 

[CooterBrown 18001]

Well.....that's fucking lovely.  We fly out to the UK today.  Fortunately not till after 6 pm, but shit.  Gonna get there super-early now.

The good thing is with only one flight a day, both BA and Virgin are still reliable when the rest of the airlines are shitting the bed. You just gotta get through security and the pre check line shouldn’t be bad.

[SquishMitten 10403]

5 minutes ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

If flights are delayed and getting stacked up through the day, wouldn't it be better to arrive later?  Or do you like spending extra time in airports for no reason?

 

One positive thing about the Austin airport is that there are a lot of places to get booze for a relatively small terminal. 

[ztejas 43411]

7 minutes ago, SquishMitten said:

This got me curious. From what I can gather online, this sucks way more for the driver than the passenger. Your fare will be higher, but the per/minute aspect is a far less significant portion of the total bill. I couldn't find the rates specific to Austin, but the national average for Lyft is $.90/mile but only $.09/minute. So, if you were stuck in that traffic jam for 3 hours, it would apparently only cost you an extra ~$16. 

Yep (at least - the general concept - those numbers aren't accurate). Driver rate was $0.70/mile, $0.20/minute last I checked. Probably multiply by 1.3-1.5 for the rider fare. Uber had begun to fudge all of this fairly recently, however. That was still accurate for Lyft. 

If you're just sitting still in traffic you're making maybe $9/hr as a driver. The customer is probably paying ~$15/hr. 

Edited September 7, 2022 by ztejas

[SquishMitten 10403]

Interesting. So those per/minute fees I found are what the driver makes after the app takes its cut? The passenger would be paying something like $.30/minute (at 1.5% markup), and that 3 hour traffic jam would cost you an additional $54?

[Fudge Nuggets 19184]

18 minutes ago, SquishMitten said:

One positive thing about the Austin airport is that there are a lot of places to get booze for a relatively small terminal. 

You can buy booze outside the airport as well for probably 75% cheaper.

[ztejas 43411]

2 minutes ago, SquishMitten said:

Interesting. So those per/minute fees I found are what the driver makes after the app takes its cut? The passenger would be paying something like $.30/minute (at 1.5% markup), and that 3 hour traffic jam would cost you an additional $54?

I'm not sure what you found. I'm just sharing what I know. I believe the driver pay and rider fare are calculated similarly just with different x and y inputs for distance and time. Surge pricing affects all of this as an additional variable. 

Regardless of how it's calculated - the principle should remain the same that adding distance to the trip will hike your rate much more than adding time will. 

[WBT 20559]

If you call it metal instead of plane it shows you're a real industry insider who probably should start a newsletter.

[Ghost of LL 15531]

23 minutes ago, WBT said:

If you call it metal instead of plane it shows you're a real industry insider who probably should start a newsletter.

The pros call it "equipment."

[fattyflattie 4639]

This happened to me in Miami a few months ago.  Shit got third world in a hurry inside.  People laid about the ground, sweaty and just broken.  Flights got delayed, of course.  5 hours in a sweat box before getting on the plane. Lovely. 

[midtown 3345]

26 minutes ago, WBT said:

If you call it metal instead of plane it shows you're a real industry insider who probably should start a newsletter.

If you call it a newsletter then you might be interested in calling in on your rotary phone to listen to hot babe chat

[Wally Fairway 5539]

thoughts and prayers to Brisket, and doubly so for Mrs Brisket - maybe we should dip into the wreath fund to buy them a couple of drinks while they wait, and wait, and wait ..... at the terminal

[Chewbacca 7765]

Roads are back open.  Ticket counters are up and running.  Now.....to clear the multi-hour backlog of utter shit.  8.5 hours till our departure.  I'm thinking we're gonna get there WAY fucking early, to wrangle with the mess.

Just go early and hit the bar. Nothing you can do but wait.

[F250 28761]

1 hour ago, fattyflattie said:

This happened to me in Miami a few months ago.  Shit got third world in a hurry inside.  People laid about the ground, sweaty and just broken.  Flights got delayed, of course.  5 hours in a sweat box before getting on the plane. Lovely. 

Experienced something similar at ATL.

[utee94 15797]

Just now, Chewbacca said:

3 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Roads are back open.  Ticket counters are up and running.  Now.....to clear the multi-hour backlog of utter shit.  8.5 hours till our departure.  I'm thinking we're gonna get there WAY fucking early, to wrangle with the mess.

Just go early and hit the bar. Nothing you can do but wait.

Yup.  I happen to like drinking in airport bars.  There are worse ways to spend a few hours.

[FartingMonk 3606]

8 minutes ago, utee94 said:

Yup.  I happen to like drinking in airport bars.  There are worse ways to spend a few hours.

And you'd figure brisket has lounge access.  He ain't dropping money on beers.  He's just getting wasted at the airport 

[Gatorubet 30183]

2 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Oh, and the wife is cleared to travel, no cast.  So that's nice.  Still, I get to be the sherpa, as she can't do any heavy lifting with the busted arm.

And her head?  Her head is fine, yes?

[Grade of D as in David 13253]

2 hours ago, SquishMitten said:

One positive thing about the Austin airport is that there are a lot of places to get booze for a relatively small terminal. 

Most of the places shut down around 7pm though 

2 hours ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

You can buy booze outside the airport as well for probably 75% cheaper.

Landing Strip?

[Murfdogg21 4412]

[utee94 15797]

5 minutes ago, Grade of D as in David said:

Most of the places shut down around 7pm though 

Landing Strip?

Live Oak Brewery...

[RDCanecutter 26377]

2 hours ago, fattyflattie said:

This happened to me in Miami a few months ago.  Shit got third world in a hurry inside.  People laid about the ground, sweaty and just broken.  Flights got delayed, of course.  5 hours in a sweat box before getting on the plane. Lovely. 

Mrs. Canecutter owns a Florida sweatshirt because she was stuck in the Tampa airport for hours, in the summer. Nothing worked except for the air conditioner, which was trying to level up to freezer.

[deadshank 24652]

Austin is a failed state.

Hurr durr

[Armybrat 40815]

11 minutes ago, deadshank said:

Austin is a failed city-state.

Hurr durr

Fify

[DaysOff 7943]

Well, it's a direct flight to London.....so a delay isn't a killer.  A pain, but not a killer.  I expect the plane WILL get a gate at some point today (people have to deplane), and then it will need to fly back....we'll just be delayed.  Which takes away much of the advantage of trying somewhere else.  Tie into that the fact that my wife is at the doc right now figuring out whether they need to put a cast on her arm.....we're committed to the AUS-LHR path for now.  If it's a shitshow.....then it will be a shitshow.  We won't be heading to the airport for another 5-6 hours, so I'll look and see what things are like as we get closer to that point.
This town....this fucking town.

BA? You'll never see your luggage again.

[Brisketexan 105041]

BA? You'll never see your luggage again.

Virgin. No connection, direct flight. And yeah, it’s still rolling the dice, but we didn’t have much choice.

Not that it matters. Got here over three hours early, Virgin check in and bag drop isn’t moving, computers are down. So, we’re all just standing and waiting. I love air travel these days.

[SquishMitten 10403]

Wow. So are they saying this is a new issue (the computers being down)? Or have they still not come back online since earlier?

[SquishMitten 10403]

1 hour ago, Grade of D as in David said:

Most of the places shut down around 7pm though 

Well good thing his flight leaves at 6:20 then. But there's at least one place that stays open fairly late and you can take drinks to go (or at least you used to be able to do so). 

[Updawg 2266]

Feel bad for all the other poor suckers on briskets flight. They are cursed and don’t even know it

[YGIFS 19449]

2 minutes ago, Updawg said:

Feel bad for all the other poor suckers on briskets flight. They are cursed and don’t even know it

Excuse me traveler in 7D, let me reach across the aisle.  Have you a moment to talk about the Brother of the Ledge?  For just 6 drink coupons, I shall enlighten you...

Edited September 7, 2022 by YGIFS

[Brisketexan 105041]

Feel bad for all the other poor suckers on briskets flight. They are cursed and don’t even know it

They have no idea. This is what the boy and I did for his going away lunch:

[SquishMitten 10403]

Nothing like having explosive diarrhea on a plane. 

[Brisketexan 105041]

If we get on it. They are currently checking us all in….by hand. At the current rate, we’ll all be checked in by 2:00 am, for a mere 8 hour delay. If we’re lucky, and they don’t just give up and cancel it after we wait all day.

[Reagan1k 3024]

4 hours ago, fattyflattie said:

This happened to me in Miami a few months ago.  Shit got third world in a hurry inside.  People laid about the ground, sweaty and just broken.  Flights got delayed, of course.  5 hours in a sweat box before getting on the plane. Lovely. 

Miami can get like that WITH power.  It can take AA days to unwind the messes there.  Line to the help desk goes from tip to tail of the terminal.  

[Pescado_Rojo 19412]

1 hour ago, SquishMitten said:

Nothing like having explosive diarrhea on a plane. 

Let's hope we don't have a repeat of Brisket's last trip to Dubai...

[Brisketexan 105041]

Let's hope we don't have a repeat of Brisket's last trip to Dubai...

No worries….I’ll use a barf bag instead. Seal it up, hand it to the flight attendant, and wish her luck.

Computers came back online right as we got to the front of the line. I’m sure we’ll be delayed some, but at least things seem to be running now.

[Born to Run 6569]

They have no idea. This is what the boy and I did for his going away lunch:

I think this was covered under the Geneva Convention. It's certainly a Hippo violation. (hippo farting gif)

[YGIFS 19449]

1 hour ago, Brisketexan said:

They have no idea. This is what the boy and I did for his going away lunch:

Ladies & Gentlemen, this is one of our surly community leaders.  And we just don't talk about how fucking insane he is.  

Waiter, "What can I get you folks?"

Brisket, "Well, want some tex-mex before we leave on our flight where they don't have great tex-mex..."

Waiter, "Understood.  Well let me know what you'd like and we'll make sure you get outta here happy and on time..."

Brisket, "London.  Extra beans, extra peppers, extra sauce."

Waiter, "Uh sir, that may not be the wisest choice for an 8-hour flight..."

Brisket, "Lay off asshat, let's fucking do this!"

[Brisketexan 105041]

Ladies & Gentlemen, this is one of our surly community leaders.  And we just don't talk about how fucking insane he is.  
Waiter, "What can I get you folks?"
Brisket, "Well, want some tex-mex before we leave on our flight where they don't have great tex-mex..."
Waiter, "Understood.  Well let me know what you'd like and we'll make sure you get outta here happy and on time..."
Brisket, "London.  Extra beans, extra peppers, extra sauce."
Waiter, "Uh sir, that may not be the wisest choice for an 8-hour flight..."
Brisket, "Lay off asshat, let's fucking do this!"

Yea, verily.

[Deej 76750]

1 hour ago, SquishMitten said:

Nothing like having explosive diarrhea on a plane. 

As long as it's yours. 

[hookemATL 11700]

#EYM4LYFE
 

that plate fucks. The rest of the plane can deal with it. 

[conVINCEd 21469]

1 minute ago, hookemATL said:

#EYM4LYFE
 

that plate fucks. The rest of the plane can deal with it. 

You volunteering as tribute to sit in the row behind him?

[Brisketexan 105041]

You volunteering as tribute to sit in the row behind him?

When did you turn into such a yellowbelly coward? You’ll sit behind me, and you’ll take it like a man.

[conVINCEd 21469]

1 minute ago, Brisketexan said:

When did you turn into such a yellowbelly coward? You’ll sit behind me, and you’ll take it like a man.

I’ll be having haggis for the first time a couple of hours before the return flight, and we’ll be switching seats.

[Born to Run 6569]

#EYM4LYFE
 
that plate fucks. The rest of the plane can deal with it. 

Best in the game! Sometimes I settle for Maudies when I want a cheat day. Always wish I'd just made the drive. If your going that route, walk hard.

[Vito Andolini 9124]

The OP did promise a biblical shitshow. Brisket’s Mexican Plate should be well percolating over Nova Scotia, you don’t want to know what happens over the Charlie-Gibbs Fracture Zone.

[Chewbacca 7765]

Brisket, what's the ETA on flight departure?  You getting out tonight?

[YGIFS 19449]

17 minutes ago, Vito Andolini said:

The OP did promise a biblical shitshow. Brisket’s Mexican Plate should be well percolating over Nova Scotia, you don’t want to know what happens over the Charlie-Gibbs Fracture Zone.

Nova Scotia Percolate.  dibs on that for my band name.  

and yeah, wishing Brisket and family a safe flight.  I'm not gonna say happy flight because "THEY KNEW WHAT THIS WAS!"  now his poor wife has to napkin dab his dank ass forehead with her gimp wrist because he's sweating out tomatillo, tequila, and regret.  Hello London, COMO ESTAN BRITCHES????