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The ABIA Thread of Gross Incompetence

ztejas

By ztejas
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ztejas

ztejas 44217

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19 minutes ago, Vito Andolini said:

The OP did promise a biblical shitshow. Brisket’s Mexican Plate should be well percolating over Nova Scotia, you don’t want to know what happens over the Charlie-Gibbs Fracture Zone.

I'd hope his pilot isn't taking a detour over NS on a direct flight from Austin. North Carolina may be in trouble, however. 

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ztejas

ztejas 44217

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11 minutes ago, Your Mom said:

Flat earther? 

 

8 minutes ago, sidis said:

lulz.

Yeah I was just looking at a flat map - that isn't accurate at all. 

The straight line is actually considerably north of Nova Scotia. 

TIL

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19458

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I tried to tell him, but his rationale was that given the flight duration and time change, it'd be like he went back in time and never ate the double-bean/double-pepper/double-sauce enchilada plate. 

"But brisket, London is +6 hours, not -6 hours.  nevermind your colon doesn't know about time zones." 

to which he replied, "I have the worst fucking travel agent.  And also, cramps."  

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Armybrat

Armybrat 41373

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58 minutes ago, Vito Andolini said:

The OP did promise a biblical shitshow. Brisket’s Mexican Plate should be well percolating over Nova Scotia, you don’t want to know what happens over the Charlie-Gibbs Fracture Zone.

Just think what it’s going to do for the ozone layer over Greenland.

Goodbye NYC, Miami, & New Orleans.

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utee94

utee94 16078

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1 hour ago, YGIFS said:

note to self, do not eat brunch at Enchiladas y Mas before heading out to USGP at COTA.  

Or shouldn't I?  

Well EyM is now closed on Sundays, but we pretty much always have lunch at EyM before taking the RV out to COTA on Thursday before the USGP weekend.  

 

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19458

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35 minutes ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Hopefully when he has his headphones on, he remembers that those farts may be silent to him, but they aren’t to everyone else. I made that mistake once.

Plain clothes, "Excuse me fellow Passenger (looks at manifest), Mr. Brisket...is it?  Sir, would you come with me please?"

Brisket, "What's the big idea?"

Air Marshal (revealing himself), "Sir, we've had some complaints about some potentially deadly fumes wafting from your row."

Brisket, "It's just gas, I was asleep and wearing headphones.  It's not a crime to have bad gas on an international flight from an enchilada plate, is it?  I'm a lawyer, I know my rights!" 

Air Marshal, "Sir, that's what makes this so difficult."  

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Grade of D as in David

Grade of D as in David 13255

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1 hour ago, YGIFS said:

Plain clothes, "Excuse me fellow Passenger (looks at manifest), Mr. Brisket...is it?  Sir, would you come with me please?"

Brisket, "What's the big idea?"

Air Marshal (revealing himself), "Sir, we've had some complaints about some potentially deadly fumes wafting from your row."

Brisket, "It's just gas, I was asleep and wearing headphones.  It's not a crime to have bad gas on an international flight from an enchilada plate, is it?  I'm a lawyer, I know my rights!" 

Air Marshal, "Sir, that's what makes this so difficult."  

Yeah and if y'all thought taking off your shoes was a pain in the ass, imagine what TSA is going to make us do after Brisket commits an act of terror on an airplane bathroom on international flight.

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Pato del Muerto

Pato del Muerto 53437

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4 hours ago, Born to Run said:
6 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

They have no idea. This is what the boy and I did for his going away lunch:

8cc244ee776d5c12f336eb603b236c43.jpg

I think this was covered under the Geneva Convention. It's certainly a Hippo violation. (hippo farting gif)

Brisket “farting” while stretching his legs in the aisle right now

0a623b06ca17b23dc3ccd0282d243436.gif
 

the peeing might also be of concern to fellow travelers. 

Edited by Pato del Muerto
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Brisketexan

Brisketexan 106871

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All was well. I snuck my usual amount of farts out, while everyone was trying to sleep.
Delay because ABIA shitshow, then a storm rolled in right as we were about to take off. Cost us another half hour, which makes us miss the early train to Glasgow.
Upside: I will have an hour and a half to kill in a pub at Euston while we wait on the next train.
Summary: I highly recommend EYM before you fly international.

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sidis

sidis 10011

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22 hours ago, Macanudo said:

Is there ever something that happens that doesn't affect Brisket?

 

22 hours ago, YGIFS said:

I think he managed to avoid the floods in Pakistan this past week. 

(checks notes)...Oh for fuck's sake, Brisket!  Stop off at Waffle House on 71

 

21 hours ago, Ghost of LL said:

There's some real justification behind this question.

Fucking guy shows up to the UK and the same day, the country’s longest ever ruling monarch dies. 

just saying. 

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Gatorubet

Gatorubet 30709

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Yeah and if y'all thought taking off your shoes was a pain in the ass, imagine what TSA is going to make us do after Brisket commits an act of terror on an airplane bathroom on international flight.

Imagine Brisket passing gas at the same time the guy a row behind him spontaneously combusts

giphy.gif
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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 26867

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This hits home because my last three main meals have been from a big pot of pozole with various burned peppers stirred into it. It tasted good going in, and it's actually holding up as long banana turds coming out, which it wants to do at 4AM the past couple of days.

As Ben Franklin said: "Late to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and slightly dizzy from expelling everything from ear wax on down through his asshole at 4AM in the form of ropes thrown down the well."

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19458

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7 hours ago, hookemATL said:

Try the haggis enchiladas at Casa de Highlands Superiorrrrr in Glasgow. They are terrible but you need to get on the neuvo chic Scottish/TexMex culinary bandwagon before it leaves you behind. 
Starz Scotland GIF by Men in Kilts: A Roadtrip with Sam and Graham

Dibs on Haggishladas for my new dish.  Or restaurant idea.  Or cocktail.  Not sure yet. 
 

"Dos Haggishladas, extra fruit.  And serve it up.  Thank you bartender!"  

This could work.  After we get Brisket back on extradition parole, of course.

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conVINCEd

conVINCEd 21477

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My only experience with a full English breakfast was on a BA flight, so I’ll withhold judgment.

That being said, I don’t think Brisket killed her.  There is not enough compelling evidence, and I would need a little more to convict if I was on the jury.  Now, if you told me he had a dozen deviled eggs as an appetizer in addition to the enchilada plate, I could get there.

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