2022-2023 San Antonio Spurs Season Thread - Tits, Ass, N’ Keldon

[Kermit 3118]

Victor, here we come. Or Scoot. I’m not greedy. Just please make having to watch this shit all season worth it. 

[hornfan785 548]

Here for the tank. GSG

[Braff Zacklin 13313]

5 hours ago, Kermit said:

Victor, here we come. Or Scoot. I’m not greedy. Just please make having to watch this shit all season worth it. 

[chainsaw 9764]

tank in full progress

[Pam Cummings 9451]

 

To the losers goes the Victor!

[kingkoopa6 8281]

Go Spurs Go!

[Kermit 3118]

That was fun.

[Fastbreak 3932]

Jesus. Scoot = Kyrie and Victor = unreal.

[kingkoopa6 8281]

dang, those kids can ball.

[kingkoopa6 8281]

GSG!

[Radical Larry 28493]

Increase that trade value.

[ztejas 42961]

Of course he spins into some weird under the basket attempted finish that fortunately for him he was fouled on. 

I've always been a Jak fan but that's just vintage for him. 

[Kermit 3118]

Skinny Keldon is fucking awesome. He’s noticeably quicker. 

[Radical Larry 28493]

[ztejas 42961]

"We may need to run something shittier out there. Utah looks really terrible and Ainge is a shark. Have you seen that French kid play?"

[Chad 1728]

Victor Wembanyama or bust.

[Kermit 3118]

OMG, there is some competition for suckage.

[Horn of Gabriel 1582]

Shittiest team has worse odds now than the Duncan era yes?  Like a 9% chance of top ball or something?

[Irieguy 1059]

1 hour ago, Horn of Gabriel said:

Shittiest team has worse odds now than the Duncan era yes?  Like a 9% chance of top ball or something?

14%.  52.1% of a top 4 pick. 

[Irieguy 1059]

2 minutes ago, Irieguy said:

14%.  52.1% of a top 4 pick. 

Worst 3 teams actually have the same odds. 

• Team 1 > 14.0%
• Team 2 > 14.0%
• Team 3 >14.0%
• Team 4 > 12.5%
• Team 5 > 10.5%
• Team 6 > 9.0%
• Team 7 > 7.5%
• Team 8 > 4.5%
• Team 9 > 4.5%
• Team 10 > 4.5%
• Team 11 > 1.8%
• Team 12 > 1.7%
• Team 13 > 1.0%
• Team 14 > 0.5%

[Irieguy 1059]

3 hours ago, Kermit said:

OMG, there is some competition for suckage.

The worst 3 teams have the EXACT same odds for picks 1-4. Only difference is odds for picks 5-7. Spurs are fine. 

Edited October 14, 2022 by Irieguy

[Irieguy 1059]

I’m making a longer post to answer future freak outs. For the odds of the first four picks it doesn’t matter if Utah(or any team) has a worse record than the Spurs. It doesn’t matter if TWO teams have a worse record than the Spurs. Bottom 3 is the only goal. 

[Kermit 3118]

Dude, no one is freaking out. We all know. There’s just going to be some competition for the worst three records, even though the Spurs are going to bottom out. 

[Irieguy 1059]

1 hour ago, Kermit said:

Dude, no one is freaking out. We all know. There’s just going to be some competition for the worst three records, even though the Spurs are going to bottom out. 

Yea? I’m not seeing anybody naming three worse teams. 

[Kermit 3118]

The season hasn’t started yet. Anyone who starts off shitty is immediately going into tank mode. There’s Indiana, Charlotte, Utah, San Antonio, Houston, OKC, and Washington. Then there’s the play in teams who will gladly sit players for a shot at the bottom three. There’s also the slight possibility that Pop actually tries to win some games. I’m glad your doing projections before the first game is played, though.

Oh, and injuries. Don’t forget about those. 

[Irieguy 1059]

36 minutes ago, Kermit said:

The season hasn’t started yet. Anyone who starts off shitty is immediately going into tank mode. There’s Indiana, Charlotte, Utah, San Antonio, Houston, OKC, and Washington. Then there’s the play in teams who will gladly sit players for a shot at the bottom three. There’s also the slight possibility that Pop actually tries to win some games. I’m glad your doing projections before the first game is played, though.

Oh, and injuries. Don’t forget about those. 

Which play in teams from last year are candidates for the bottom 3?

[ztejas 42961]

4 minutes ago, Irieguy said:

Which play in teams from last year are candidates for the bottom 3?

You think that only three teams in the NBA are going to try and get this guy?

[Kermit 3118]

6 minutes ago, Irieguy said:

Which play in teams from last year are candidates for the bottom 3?

At this point, who knows? We know the teams that are going to be shitty out of the gate. But, and there’s a huge butt, any team with distant playoff aspirations is who starts off horribly is going tank. Any team who has an injury to a MVP caliber player, and whose titles dreams abruptly end, will go full tank. This is a once in a lifetime draft with not one, but two franchise altering players. It’s going to get incredibly ugly very quickly. 

[Kermit 3118]

Also…

Again the season hasn’t started so who knows, but these prognosticators have us finishing fourth. And the Lakers not making the playoffs? Erection juice.

Edited October 14, 2022 by Kermit

[ztejas 42961]

26 minutes ago, Kermit said:

And the Lakers not making the playoffs? Erection juice.

I mean they already look like a fucking trainwreck again. They'll be lucky to win 45 games. 

[Kermit 3118]

4 minutes ago, ztejas said:

I mean they already look like a fucking trainwreck again. They'll be lucky to win 45 games. 

What’s not going to be funny is if they win the lottery and New Orleans gets their pick.

[kingkoopa6 8281]

45 minutes ago, Kermit said:

What’s not going to be funny is if they win the lottery and New Orleans gets their pick.

bruh.. dont say that.. haha.

[Irieguy 1059]

2 hours ago, Kermit said:

Also…

Again the season hasn’t started so who knows, but these prognosticators have us finishing fourth. And the Lakers not making the playoffs? Erection juice.

Now we are quoting a projection that has the Jazz finishing 10th in the West.

[Kermit 3118]

10 minutes ago, Irieguy said:

Now we are quoting a projection that has the Jazz finishing 10th in the West.

 

If you actually read the article, they explain why. 

[Irieguy 1059]

38 minutes ago, Kermit said:

 

If you actually read the article, they explain why. 

The article actually is eye-opening. The computer likes the veteran core that Utah has now. The Jazz might fuck around and win a couple too many games before Markannan, Clarkson, etc are shut down for injury or traded. They have mismatched pieces and will throw out some intentionally bad lineups but they have players. 

[ztejas 42961]

Sexton is the only one on that team that might accidentally win them some games - depending on how he comes back from injury. The rest of their roster is full of total JAGs with Markannen maybe being slightly better than that - but nowhere near a first option. 

I mean they could win 35 games I guess but I'm assuming they'll be a disaster and Ainge will let it happen. Mike Conley has like 200 minutes of competitive basketball left in his body. 

[Kermit 3118]

The Pelicans are going to be this year’s Memphis. Holy shit, they’re fucking fun. Ingram is toying with people.

[SilasCoade 2620]

1 hour ago, Kermit said:

The Pelicans are going to be this year’s Memphis. Holy shit, they’re fucking fun. Ingram is toying with people.

I'm high on their team as well. If Zion plays 2/3 or more of the season they're a 50 win team and a puncher's chance against any team in the playoffs.

[Mitch Cumsteen 18483]

Wieskamp got cut yesterday. A bit odd considering his deal was (allegedly) guaranteed, but I guess they have so many young guys on contract that someone had to end up on the chopping block. 

Official opening night roster of the worst Spurs team since about 1987:

[SilasCoade 2620]

Spurs have 4 guys that could be the third best player on championship roster but no one that could be a first or second guy on a contender. Not sure they are built for the future either. It's weird.

[kingkoopa6 8281]

GSG!

LETS GOOOOO!

[Radical Larry 28493]

[Radical Larry 28493]

[Kermit 3118]

Man, I think I may have underestimated how much this team is going to suck.

[Radical Larry 28493]

Guys, I don’t think we’re going to make the playoffs this season.

[hornfan785 548]

0-1 to start the season. The tank is just revving up its engines. Go Spurs Go!

[Braff Zacklin 13313]

[Radical Larry 28493]

We need The Greenwood Runners to help out with the tank.

[miguelito 11146]

Well, see you guys next season. 

43 minutes ago, Radical Larry said:

We need The Greenwood Runners to help out with the tank.

This was pretty funny, though. Nice callback.

[Irieguy 1059]

Maybe the ESPN projection system was right about the Jazz. 21 point win over the Nuggets. Jazz might have to dump some veterans quicker than planned or end up in purgatory.