The Onion has written an Amicus Curiae brief, and it is a goddamn work of art.

[Rimbo 26139]

20221003125252896_35295545_1-22.10.03 - Novak-Parma - Onion Amicus Brief.pdf

I'm just going to share this here.

It starts with:

Quote

In addition to maintaining a towering standard of excellence to which the rest of the industry aspires,The Onion supports more than 350,000 full- and part-time journalism jobs in its numerous news bureaus and manual labor camps stationed around the world, and members of its editorial board have served with distinction in an advisory capacity for such nations as China, Syria, Somalia, and the former Soviet Union. On top of its journalistic pursuits, The Onion also owns and operates the majority of the world’s transoceanic shipping lanes, stands on the nation’s leading edge on matters of deforestation and strip mining, and proudly conducts tests on millions of animals daily.

It simultaneously makes its legitimate legal points while making a mockery of the entire business, including the concept of amicus curiae briefs itself.

Quote

The second reason—perhaps mildly more im-portant—is that the phrase “you are dumb” captures 

the very heart of parody: tricking readers into believ-
ing that they’re seeing a serious rendering of some spe-
cific form—a pop song lyric, a newspaper article, a 
police beat—and then allowing them to laugh at their 
own gullibility when they realize that they’ve fallen 
victim to one of the oldest tricks in the history of rhet-
oric. See San Francisco Bay Guardian, Inc. v. Super. Ct., 
21 Cal. Rptr. 2d 464, 466 (Ct. App. 1993) (“[T]he very 
nature of parody . . . is to catch the reader off guard at 
first glance, after which the ‘victim’ recognizes that the 
joke is on him to the extent that it caught him una-
ware.”).

Anyway. Download and enjoy the read.

[RPM 26359]

3 hours ago, Rimbo said:

Download

No

[Rimbo 26139]

Well, you can also grab it straight from the Supreme Court if my little upload don't suit ya.

 

https://www.supremecourt.gov/DocketPDF/22/22-293/242292/20221003125252896_35295545_1-22.10.03 - Novak-Parma - Onion Amicus Brief.pdf

[52-80 19262]

Amicus Cureiae?

sorry, i dont speak spanish

['stache 21887]

That's freaking awesome. I have no doubt a few of the humorless SCOTUS fossils will want to sanction them for the statements in the opening paragraph. 

[Brisketexan 105425]

I am actually circulating that among some colleagues as an example of damned fine persuasive writing -- perhaps more ballsy than most of us can or should every attempt -- but worth reading just the same.

[Earl Haffler 597]

5 hours ago, 52-80 said:

Amicus Cureiae?

sorry, i dont speak spanish

That's Pig Latin.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

Herbert Kornfeld obviously didn't write that. He still be keepin' it real as tha Accountz Reeceevable Supervisa.

[High Plains Drifter 11052]

 

Supreme Court, I'll write the perfect brief just for you. If the brief doesn't give you total satisfaction and fulfill your deepest needs, I'll rewrite it again and again. Damn, supreme court, you are so fine, I'll spend my dying days writing the perfect brief, all for you. I will not rest until your brief needs are completely and deeply filled, over and over again.

[Rimbo 26139]

What's really brilliant about it is that it parodies the legit amicus curiae legal brief while being a legit amicus curiae brief in defense of parody.

And if the SCOTUS justices don't rule in favor of the plaintiff, they don't deserve to wear the robes.

[Da Fino 2785]

2 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Herbert Kornfeld obviously didn't write that. He still be keepin' it real as tha Accountz Reeceevable Supervisa.

Ain't no Accounts Payable supervisor motherfucka gonna tell Herbert Kornfeld what to do. 

[jeevsie 3740]

2 hours ago, Earl Haffler said:

That's Pig Latin.