It is My V-Day

[HOOK'EMHOOAH 1610]

You are all a bunch of inglorious bastards and I wanted to shared my special occasion with you all. Today is my Vasectomy Day.

 

Here is the anthem I have found best representative of such a wonderful occasion.

 

 

Fuck oklahoma.

[BabaYaga 15417]

[HOOK'EMHOOAH 1610]

11 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

[Call 393]

 

Good luck and keep the boys iced to help reduce the swelling.

[crash_davis 23170]

There are things which should not be shared.

[InkaUtexas 26401]

Use frozen peas. No joke. 

[BabaYaga 15417]

Had it done years back.  Meh.  Sore for a few days.  No other negative side effects

[MonkeyDoughnut 10487]

Schedule your "blank" testing follow up... known multiple who didn't and ended up with a "welcomed addition" a few years down the road

[HOOK'EMHOOAH 1610]

I've had teeth pulled with no anesthetic. I have herniated discs up and down my spine with spinal stenosis. I'm going to be fine.

 

Personally, I plan on getting portraits taken wearing a cone that dogs wear after their berries are picked because I think it's a comic relief.

2 minutes ago, MonkeyDoughnut said:

Schedule your "blank" testing follow up... known multiple who didn't and ended up with a "welcomed addition" a few years down the road

I'm following the European standard on that particular matter.

[HOOK'EMHOOAH 1610]

34 minutes ago, crash_davis said:

There are things which should not be shared.

It's simple physics, my guy. It is easier to un load the weapon than it is to stop the bullets when they are traveling at velocity to the target.

[Gil Bang 26120]

1 hour ago, BabaYaga said:

Had it done years back.  Meh.  Sore for a few days.  No other negative side effects

Years back for me too, and no soreness at all. 

[Armybrat 41037]

You will reap many rewards from your lady afterwards.

[DDD Dad 14395]

1 hour ago, HOOK'EMHOOAH said:

Personally, I plan on getting portraits taken wearing a cone that dogs wear after their berries are picked because I think it's a comic relief.

I'm following the European standard on that particular matter.

 

[SimonBolivar 10962]

2 hours ago, HOOK'EMHOOAH said:

I've had teeth pulled with no anesthetic.

Good lord man, it isn't 1722.

[F250 28986]

Your Dr. right now.

 

[irishtexan 11574]

Congrats and welcome to the club! The minor discomfort you experience will be well-worth the rewards!

[Kennythetiger 9503]

Should have waited a day or two so you could sit your balls on frozen peas and watch the game and have your wife serve unending cocktails to you. 

[futureman 22566]

3 hours ago, HOOK'EMHOOAH said:

I'm following the European standard on that particular matter.

what is that standard?

[Wiler77 1591]

5 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

Should have waited a day or two so you could sit your balls on frozen peas and watch the game and have your wife serve unending cocktails to you. 

Yea, who schedules their vasectomy for a freaking Wednesday?  It's the perfect excuse for sitting in a chair watching football and drinking beer for 12 straight hours.

Frozen peas for 2-3 straight days and follow doctors orders on amount of activity.  I did, and had no problems.  I've heard of others who didn't follow orders have discomfort for extended periods.

[HOOK'EMHOOAH 1610]

1 hour ago, futureman said:

what is that standard?

Test twice. Labs fuck up and have false positives or false negatives all the time.

 

 

[HOOK'EMHOOAH 1610]

3 hours ago, SimonBolivar said:

Good lord man, it isn't 1722.

The first was a dead tooth when I was 8 and the, I'm guessing, student [read stupid] dentist (we were poor) put the lidocaine on the wrong nerves.

 

Later, as an adult two of my wisdom teeth were impacting when I was galavanting as a contractor in Afghanistan. So I was sent to Dubai to have them removed. When they specify "conservative oral surgeon" this is the manner of conservancy they are placing the reference upon. I was given some pretty badass mouth wash, and a few days of antibiotics and anti-inflammatory meds. The mouth wash was legit.

[HOOK'EMHOOAH 1610]

Ye of wife and want,

Sit, and I shall spin you a tale, for thee. My balls shall rest cooly. I have fought inward and abroad. Though a in hole a tooth, I aquaint as a couth.

No human has choice of birth, value or worth;

Every human has the choice where they are from.

Today, I've killed what I was given at birth.

I am a Goddamned Texan. Fuck with me at your own peril.

I drink whiskey, have no wife, and want for not.

[dcbc 14573]

14 hours ago, futureman said:

what is that standard?

I believe it's called the metric system.

[dcbc 14573]

12 hours ago, HOOK'EMHOOAH said:

Test twice. Labs fuck up and have false positives or false negatives all the time.

 

 

My doc wouldn't give me the all clear until I had two tests with no swimmers.

 

For best results, rub about 20+ out before your first test.  And that's probably an underestimate.  Don't roll in there with rookie numbers.  Clear the pipes and then some.  As hilarious as it is to hand that receptionist a lunch bag with a cup of your baby batter in it, it gets old the more times you have to go back.

 

Also, for your reading pleasure:

 

 

 

Edited October 6, 2022 by dcbc

[futureman 22566]

10 minutes ago, dcbc said:

I believe it's called the metric system.

yeah we don’t do that shit. this is america. 

[After irth 1245]

5 hours ago, dcbc said:

 

For best results, rub about 20+ out before your first test.  

 

 

1/1Skip AdContinue watchingafter the adVisit Advertiser websiteGO TO PAGE

 

 

 

 

Amateur!

I was “shooting” for 30, and I enlisted my inner circle to assist. Ended up with 42. 
 

No results back yet, but…good times!

[RPM 26432]

I've never had the snip, but from what I understand if a man was inclined to treat the ladies to some ecstasy, there's no residual effects. Party on, Garth!

[Dutch 4498]

Wait two weeks then start clearing your pipes.  My doc recommended 24 loads, then I had to submit two samples two weeks apart that both tested neg to get the all clear. I'd imagine yours will recommend something similar.  As others mentioned bags of frozen peas are a lifesaver, as are tighty-whities for the first few days back at work to keep em supported.

The whole thing was a very minor inconvenience to never have to glove up again.

[HOOK'EMHOOAH 1610]

2 hours ago, Dutch said:

Wait two weeks then start clearing your pipes.  My doc recommended 24 loads, then I had to submit two samples two weeks apart that both tested neg to get the all clear. I'd imagine yours will recommend something similar.  As others mentioned bags of frozen peas are a lifesaver, as are tighty-whities for the first few days back at work to keep em supported.

The whole thing was a very minor inconvenience to never have to glove up again.

Every operation for every Soldier involves some manner of "field problem"

 

I have commanded my balls to STFU, and they have complied.

 

RR tire decided to eat a screw between home and the appointment.  That was fun.

[Rimbo 26482]

7 minutes ago, HOOK'EMHOOAH said:

 

RR tire decided to eat a screw between home and the appointment.  That was fun.

oof, that sucks

[dcbc 14573]

8 hours ago, After irth said:

Amateur!

I was “shooting” for 30, and I enlisted my inner circle to assist. Ended up with 42. 
 

No results back yet, but…good times!

Oh, I screwed it up big time.  I didn't approach reasonable clear out numbers.  I ended up having to test several times.  You could say I had a vast deferens.

[After irth 1245]

On 10/6/2022 at 9:53 PM, dcbc said:

Oh, I screwed it up big time.  I didn't approach reasonable clear out numbers.  I ended up having to test several times.  You could say I had a vast deferens.

Bravo!  You’re a punny guy!