Official 2022 Bitch about Family - Holiday Insanity

[MissingInAction 25205]

2 hours ago, Longboard Horn said:

Found @MissingInAction

I'm just embracing the misery while promoting it.

[ABSR 5325]

1 hour ago, GhostofDanJones said:

Pray for me...

Girlfriend's family always does a huge Christmas party on Christmas Eve at their place and invite a lot of their friends and my family too, which is great, but now I'm told that apparently their party will now be at my house. She sprung this up on me last night. So now instead of cooking one thing and bringing it over for a potluck like we do every year I'm now in charge of grilling everything(GFs father and brother have volunteered to help me to take some of the pressure off) and cooking almost all the sides(your standard stuffing, casseroles, pies, etc.). When I asked about why it's at our place all of a sudden she said that her family wanted to "try something new" this year. More like try my patience. I've put my foot down and told my future MIL that they need to cook 75% of the side dishes since I literally do not have time. I've told them multiple times that I'll be in the office most of that day on Christmas Eve getting some last minute work done since we'll be closed that next week and I'll be on vacation until January 3rd. 

If it's your party, go all out and invite me and others, but don't fucking volunteer us to host at the last god damn minute! Going to be knocking back egg nog with Jack Daniels to get ready for this disaster. Oh yeah, they haven't given me a guest list or head count either yet. 

Tell them if it is your house it is your party, so you will invite your friends.  If they want a party for their friends, they should throw one.

[4th&Five 41600]

My folks sent a text to my brother and I last night that they just bought their first new TV in 15 years and we get to set it up on Xmas and then teach them how it works.  Fun!

[GhostOfTomJoad 9358]

Tell them if it is your house it is your party, so you will invite your friends.  If they want a party for their friends, they should throw one.

Yeah, GF is definitely testing your limits & just how deep in her purse she can keep your balls going forward. "Oh sure, my amazing BF will host the feast for an undetermined number of family & friends even though he's working thru xmas eve. He doesn't even need advance notice. Don't worry about a thing."

[GhostOfTomJoad 9358]

My folks sent a text to my brother and I last night that they just bought their first new TV in 15 years and we get to set it up on Xmas and then teach them how it works.  Fun!

Step #1: get the make of the TV and download the app. Anything above the most basic TV requires an app to set up. It's bullshit, but that's how it is.

[dcbc 14531]

22 minutes ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

34 minutes ago, 4th&Five said:

My folks sent a text to my brother and I last night that they just bought their first new TV in 15 years and we get to set it up on Xmas and then teach them how it works.  Fun!

Step #1: get the make of the TV and download the app. Anything above the most basic TV requires an app to set up. It's bullshit, but that's how it is.

Step #2.  Find a Youtube instructional video on how to use the TV.  Make parents watch video while you and your brother kick back with some refreshments on the back porch.

[Parliament 14336]

^^^Assign it to them as prework.

[Kennythetiger 9480]

7 minutes ago, dcbc said:

Step #2.  Find a Youtube instructional video on how to use the TV.  Make parents watch video while you and your brother kick back with some refreshments on the back porch.

If they’re like my folks, they won’t watch shit. 
“Just show us how to do it.”  

[Longboard Horn 40546]

1 hour ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

1 hour ago, 4th&Five said:

My folks sent a text to my brother and I last night that they just bought their first new TV in 15 years and we get to set it up on Xmas and then teach them how it works.  Fun!

Step #1: get the make of the TV and download the app. Anything above the most basic TV requires an app to set up. It's bullshit, but that's how it is.

That is the fun part

1 hour ago, 4th&Five said:

My folks sent a text to my brother and I last night that they just bought their first new TV in 15 years and we get to set it up on Xmas and then teach them how it works.  Fun!

Putting on the brackets and mounting it to the wall are the bullshit 

[pearlandhorn 3274]

Ho-fucking-ho and merry-fucking-Christmas to you all.

Leaving town on Friday or Saturday and heading up to Tyler.  This may get pushed back if the weather is shitty.  My wife is actually meeting my in-laws today so that my son can have a few more days with his grandparents before we arrive.

For the uninformed: I have two SILs.  One is/was? a nuclear engineer whose husband didn't like her working long hours at a nuclear power plant so convinced her to stay home and essentially be a bum like him.  She's now a rental property manager for a broker because they needed money and he's not going to work.  He graduated from college in 2006 and has literally never had a job in his life.  His resume is blank.  My other SIL is a bat-shit crazy moron who likes to give my wife and I parenting advice even though she has no kids.  But she was a nanny for 5 years!  She's in her mid 40s and her "significant other" is a retired microsoft middle manager who is a crazy left-winged conspiracy theorist (think cloak room on steroids - but no CR).  She's allergic to everything under the sun and has to have her own christmas and thanksgiving meals (who the fuck is allergic to fucking turkey and potatoes?)  My FIL is probably one of the nicest guys in the entire world.  He'd help anyone out who he can.  He's also a packrat who loves to go buy random shit at auctions.  He has over 75,000 nails.  His garage is packed to the rafters with shit (which is how I ended up with weedwacker string as a christmas gift a few years back).  He's an engineer by trade and loves tinkering with shit and building shit.  Takes care of his neighbors, would do anything to help anyone.  He just wants everyone to get along. ***HINT: there is typically a fight between my wife/my MIL and the 45 year old SIL over some stupid bullshit that makes me laugh and makes my wife just get pissed off***

Every year when we're driving home, my wife will always say to me - "We're not going to visit for next Christmas.  I want to spend Christmas at our house because I don't want to ever talk to her again", referring to the high-drama SIL.  Yet, here we are.

The deadbeat BIL will mope around for hours on end, drinking hard liquor at breakfast and throughout the day and is in a constant state of depression.  He hates being at my in-laws and they hate him.  Hell, everyone hates him and they even talk shit to him to his face.  He's the kind of person who I wouldn't be surprised if he went postal.  His wife (my SIL - the former nuclear engineer) is great with my son and overall, a pleasant person to be around.  I have no qualms with her whatsoever. 

My other SIL - literally no one can stand her.  She marches around whining all day, nitpicking at random bullshit and is just tiring to be around.  Her boyfriend just feeds this telling everyone what is wrong with society. 

Plan is to do the whole Christmas shindig with my folks on Christmas Eve (gifts, dinner, etc.) then spend the night at my in-laws, wake up and do their whole shindig.  I'm not sure what I'm cooking for lunch over there (told my FIL to buy whatever and I'll grill it, just need a heads up).  Christmas with my parents is so easy.  There's only 6 of us.  Christmas with my in-laws is a big fucking ordeal dealing with multiple personalities (10 people, 12 personalities), tears, yelling, and WTF christmas gifts.

[statsman 5486]

1 hour ago, 4th&Five said:

My folks sent a text to my brother and I last night that they just bought their first new TV in 15 years and we get to set it up on Xmas and then teach them how it works.  Fun!

I’ve got an idea. Why don’t you accept this task, and then complete it as promptly and thoroughly as you completed chores (picking up your room, mowing the yard) when you were kids? (Maybe they need to be reminded of who you are)

Alternate idea- whip out your wallet and pay BestBuy to do it for you. 

[tx 3 putt 77543]

2 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

2 hours ago, ABSR said:

Tell them if it is your house it is your party, so you will invite your friends.  If they want a party for their friends, they should throw one.

Yeah, GF is definitely testing your limits & just how deep in her purse she can keep your balls going forward. "Oh sure, my amazing BF will host the feast for an undetermined number of family & friends even though he's working thru xmas eve. He doesn't even need advance notice. Don't worry about a thing."

pussy is undefeated for a reason 

[tx 3 putt 77543]

2 hours ago, 4th&Five said:

My folks sent a text to my brother and I last night that they just bought their first new TV in 15 years and we get to set it up on Xmas and then teach them how it works.  Fun!

if you need a wall mount., this one is damn solid 

USX MOUNT Full Motion TV Wall... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08M92P11W?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

[Jerry Callo 8734]

41 minutes ago, pearlandhorn said:

He's also a packrat who loves to go buy random shit at auctions.  He has over 75,000 nails. 

That is the kind of specificity this thread needs . . . deserves.

[tx 3 putt 77543]

42 minutes ago, pearlandhorn said:

Ho-fucking-ho and merry-fucking-Christmas to you all.

Leaving town on Friday or Saturday and heading up to Tyler.  This may get pushed back if the weather is shitty.  My wife is actually meeting my in-laws today so that my son can have a few more days with his grandparents before we arrive.

For the uninformed: I have two SILs.  One is/was? a nuclear engineer whose husband didn't like her working long hours at a nuclear power plant so convinced her to stay home and essentially be a bum like him.  She's now a rental property manager for a broker because they needed money and he's not going to work.  He graduated from college in 2006 and has literally never had a job in his life.  His resume is blank.  My other SIL is a bat-shit crazy moron who likes to give my wife and I parenting advice even though she has no kids.  But she was a nanny for 5 years!  She's in her mid 40s and her "significant other" is a retired microsoft middle manager who is a crazy left-winged conspiracy theorist (think cloak room on steroids - but no CR).  She's allergic to everything under the sun and has to have her own christmas and thanksgiving meals (who the fuck is allergic to fucking turkey and potatoes?)  My FIL is probably one of the nicest guys in the entire world.  He'd help anyone out who he can.  He's also a packrat who loves to go buy random shit at auctions.  He has over 75,000 nails.  His garage is packed to the rafters with shit (which is how I ended up with weedwacker string as a christmas gift a few years back).  He's an engineer by trade and loves tinkering with shit and building shit.  Takes care of his neighbors, would do anything to help anyone.  He just wants everyone to get along. ***HINT: there is typically a fight between my wife/my MIL and the 45 year old SIL over some stupid bullshit that makes me laugh and makes my wife just get pissed off***

Every year when we're driving home, my wife will always say to me - "We're not going to visit for next Christmas.  I want to spend Christmas at our house because I don't want to ever talk to her again", referring to the high-drama SIL.  Yet, here we are.

The deadbeat BIL will mope around for hours on end, drinking hard liquor at breakfast and throughout the day and is in a constant state of depression.  He hates being at my in-laws and they hate him.  Hell, everyone hates him and they even talk shit to him to his face.  He's the kind of person who I wouldn't be surprised if he went postal.  His wife (my SIL - the former nuclear engineer) is great with my son and overall, a pleasant person to be around.  I have no qualms with her whatsoever. 

My other SIL - literally no one can stand her.  She marches around whining all day, nitpicking at random bullshit and is just tiring to be around.  Her boyfriend just feeds this telling everyone what is wrong with society. 

Plan is to do the whole Christmas shindig with my folks on Christmas Eve (gifts, dinner, etc.) then spend the night at my in-laws, wake up and do their whole shindig.  I'm not sure what I'm cooking for lunch over there (told my FIL to buy whatever and I'll grill it, just need a heads up).  Christmas with my parents is so easy.  There's only 6 of us.  Christmas with my in-laws is a big fucking ordeal dealing with multiple personalities (10 people, 12 personalities), tears, yelling, and WTF christmas gifts.

[tx 3 putt 77543]

2 hours ago, 4th&Five said:

My folks sent a text to my brother and I last night that they just bought their first new TV in 15 years and we get to set it up on Xmas and then teach them how it works.  Fun!

also this helps. Home Depot should have it on the shelf  ….

https://www.acehardware.com/departments/tools/hand-tools/stud-finders/

[Telegraph_it 3359]

We just completed the first Christmas of three total yesterday. One by one everyone that was present is now coming down with Covid. Normally not a big deal but my wife is due with our third any day now and the hospital still has Covid protocols for positive tests. So far we are symptom free in my household!

As for the uncle who said it was allergies and brought that shit over here. Many thanks. 

[tx 3 putt 77543]

6 minutes ago, Telegraph_it said:

We just completed the first Christmas of three total yesterday. One by one everyone that was present is now coming down with Covid. Normally not a big deal but my wife is due with our third any day now and the hospital still has Covid protocols for positive tests. So far we are symptom free in my household!

As for the uncle who said it was allergies and brought that shit over here. Many thanks. 

What a fucking dick 

[HouTex 1894]

21 minutes ago, Telegraph_it said:

We just completed the first Christmas of three total yesterday. One by one everyone that was present is now coming down with Covid. Normally not a big deal but my wife is due with our third any day now and the hospital still has Covid protocols for positive tests. So far we are symptom free in my household!

As for the uncle who said it was allergies and brought that shit over here. Many thanks. 

Did he get tested?  I’m now getting over my quarterly seasonal allergies.  I had no fever—just sinus drainage and a cough for a couple of days.  I tested negative for Covid—suspected as much because I’ve had these symptoms hundreds of times, so I haven’t restricted my activities.  

[dcbc 14531]

1 hour ago, pearlandhorn said:

Ho-fucking-ho and merry-fucking-Christmas to you all.

Leaving town on Friday or Saturday and heading up to Tyler.  This may get pushed back if the weather is shitty.  My wife is actually meeting my in-laws today so that my son can have a few more days with his grandparents before we arrive.

For the uninformed: I have two SILs.  One is/was? a nuclear engineer whose husband didn't like her working long hours at a nuclear power plant so convinced her to stay home and essentially be a bum like him.  She's now a rental property manager for a broker because they needed money and he's not going to work.  He graduated from college in 2006 and has literally never had a job in his life.  His resume is blank.  My other SIL is a bat-shit crazy moron who likes to give my wife and I parenting advice even though she has no kids.  But she was a nanny for 5 years!  She's in her mid 40s and her "significant other" is a retired microsoft middle manager who is a crazy left-winged conspiracy theorist (think cloak room on steroids - but no CR).  She's allergic to everything under the sun and has to have her own christmas and thanksgiving meals (who the fuck is allergic to fucking turkey and potatoes?)  My FIL is probably one of the nicest guys in the entire world.  He'd help anyone out who he can.  He's also a packrat who loves to go buy random shit at auctions.  He has over 75,000 nails.  His garage is packed to the rafters with shit (which is how I ended up with weedwacker string as a christmas gift a few years back).  He's an engineer by trade and loves tinkering with shit and building shit.  Takes care of his neighbors, would do anything to help anyone.  He just wants everyone to get along. ***HINT: there is typically a fight between my wife/my MIL and the 45 year old SIL over some stupid bullshit that makes me laugh and makes my wife just get pissed off***

Every year when we're driving home, my wife will always say to me - "We're not going to visit for next Christmas.  I want to spend Christmas at our house because I don't want to ever talk to her again", referring to the high-drama SIL.  Yet, here we are.

The deadbeat BIL will mope around for hours on end, drinking hard liquor at breakfast and throughout the day and is in a constant state of depression.  He hates being at my in-laws and they hate him.  Hell, everyone hates him and they even talk shit to him to his face.  He's the kind of person who I wouldn't be surprised if he went postal.  His wife (my SIL - the former nuclear engineer) is great with my son and overall, a pleasant person to be around.  I have no qualms with her whatsoever. 

My other SIL - literally no one can stand her.  She marches around whining all day, nitpicking at random bullshit and is just tiring to be around.  Her boyfriend just feeds this telling everyone what is wrong with society. 

Plan is to do the whole Christmas shindig with my folks on Christmas Eve (gifts, dinner, etc.) then spend the night at my in-laws, wake up and do their whole shindig.  I'm not sure what I'm cooking for lunch over there (told my FIL to buy whatever and I'll grill it, just need a heads up).  Christmas with my parents is so easy.  There's only 6 of us.  Christmas with my in-laws is a big fucking ordeal dealing with multiple personalities (10 people, 12 personalities), tears, yelling, and WTF christmas gifts.

Only in Tyler (well, and plenty of other Texas towns if we're honest).  If you need to get out of there for an hour or so because your buddy had "car trouble," I'll meet you for a beer.  I'll buy and you can repay me with a first hand account of the shit show.  Unfortunately for you guys, I don't think there's going to be enough moisture in the air for no-travel type weather.  But don't worry, it's going to be -7 with wind chill and gusts between 30--40 mph.  Enjoy the drive. 

 

My sister has planned since August to come visit our family and my mom, who is in assisted living in Tyler.  She helpfully booked the club house at Green Grove (our nickname for my mom's place) for Thursday (even though my wife and I are supposed to be working on Thursday.  So I texted to give her a heads up on Monday about the weather, which does, in fact, include some chance of precipitation with the drastic temperature drop with the suggestion that we could reschedule to next Monday when we're all off work.  But she is stubborn and has it in her head that if she leaves to head back to Houston by 2:30 p.m. on Thursday, it should be fine. 

 

So with a clear conscience that I have warned her, we'll see how this goes.  I'm sure it will be fine and I will get to hear a story about the harrowing drive home at some point. 

Edited December 20, 2022 by dcbc

[Longboard Horn 40546]

2 hours ago, pearlandhorn said:

Ho-fucking-ho and merry-fucking-Christmas to you all.

Leaving town on Friday or Saturday and heading up to Tyler.  This may get pushed back if the weather is shitty.  My wife is actually meeting my in-laws today so that my son can have a few more days with his grandparents before we arrive.

For the uninformed: I have two SILs.  One is/was? a nuclear engineer whose husband didn't like her working long hours at a nuclear power plant so convinced her to stay home and essentially be a bum like him.  She's now a rental property manager for a broker because they needed money and he's not going to work.  He graduated from college in 2006 and has literally never had a job in his life.  His resume is blank.  My other SIL is a bat-shit crazy moron who likes to give my wife and I parenting advice even though she has no kids.  But she was a nanny for 5 years!  She's in her mid 40s and her "significant other" is a retired microsoft middle manager who is a crazy left-winged conspiracy theorist (think cloak room on steroids - but no CR).  She's allergic to everything under the sun and has to have her own christmas and thanksgiving meals (who the fuck is allergic to fucking turkey and potatoes?)  My FIL is probably one of the nicest guys in the entire world.  He'd help anyone out who he can.  He's also a packrat who loves to go buy random shit at auctions.  He has over 75,000 nails.  His garage is packed to the rafters with shit (which is how I ended up with weedwacker string as a christmas gift a few years back).  He's an engineer by trade and loves tinkering with shit and building shit.  Takes care of his neighbors, would do anything to help anyone.  He just wants everyone to get along. ***HINT: there is typically a fight between my wife/my MIL and the 45 year old SIL over some stupid bullshit that makes me laugh and makes my wife just get pissed off***

Every year when we're driving home, my wife will always say to me - "We're not going to visit for next Christmas.  I want to spend Christmas at our house because I don't want to ever talk to her again", referring to the high-drama SIL.  Yet, here we are.

The deadbeat BIL will mope around for hours on end, drinking hard liquor at breakfast and throughout the day and is in a constant state of depression.  He hates being at my in-laws and they hate him.  Hell, everyone hates him and they even talk shit to him to his face.  He's the kind of person who I wouldn't be surprised if he went postal.  His wife (my SIL - the former nuclear engineer) is great with my son and overall, a pleasant person to be around.  I have no qualms with her whatsoever. 

My other SIL - literally no one can stand her.  She marches around whining all day, nitpicking at random bullshit and is just tiring to be around.  Her boyfriend just feeds this telling everyone what is wrong with society. 

Plan is to do the whole Christmas shindig with my folks on Christmas Eve (gifts, dinner, etc.) then spend the night at my in-laws, wake up and do their whole shindig.  I'm not sure what I'm cooking for lunch over there (told my FIL to buy whatever and I'll grill it, just need a heads up).  Christmas with my parents is so easy.  There's only 6 of us.  Christmas with my in-laws is a big fucking ordeal dealing with multiple personalities (10 people, 12 personalities), tears, yelling, and WTF christmas gifts.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21946]

6 hours ago, GhostofDanJones said:

Pray for me...

Girlfriend's family always does a huge Christmas party on Christmas Eve at their place and invite a lot of their friends and my family too, which is great, but now I'm told that apparently their party will now be at my house. She sprung this up on me last night. So now instead of cooking one thing and bringing it over for a potluck like we do every year I'm now in charge of grilling everything(GFs father and brother have volunteered to help me to take some of the pressure off) and cooking almost all the sides(your standard stuffing, casseroles, pies, etc.). When I asked about why it's at our place all of a sudden she said that her family wanted to "try something new" this year. More like try my patience. I've put my foot down and told my future MIL that they need to cook 75% of the side dishes since I literally do not have time. I've told them multiple times that I'll be in the office most of that day on Christmas Eve getting some last minute work done since we'll be closed that next week and I'll be on vacation until January 3rd. 

If it's your party, go all out and invite me and others, but don't fucking volunteer us to host at the last god damn minute! Going to be knocking back egg nog with Jack Daniels to get ready for this disaster. Oh yeah, they haven't given me a guest list or head count either yet. 

You should break up with her by text the day before Christmas Eve

[LW Goatman 1125]

6 hours ago, GhostofDanJones said:

Pray for me...

Girlfriend's family always does a huge Christmas party on Christmas Eve at their place and invite a lot of their friends and my family too, which is great, but now I'm told that apparently their party will now be at my house. She sprung this up on me last night. So now instead of cooking one thing and bringing it over for a potluck like we do every year I'm now in charge of grilling everything(GFs father and brother have volunteered to help me to take some of the pressure off) and cooking almost all the sides(your standard stuffing, casseroles, pies, etc.). When I asked about why it's at our place all of a sudden she said that her family wanted to "try something new" this year. More like try my patience. I've put my foot down and told my future MIL that they need to cook 75% of the side dishes since I literally do not have time. I've told them multiple times that I'll be in the office most of that day on Christmas Eve getting some last minute work done since we'll be closed that next week and I'll be on vacation until January 3rd. 

If it's your party, go all out and invite me and others, but don't fucking volunteer us to host at the last god damn minute! Going to be knocking back egg nog with Jack Daniels to get ready for this disaster. Oh yeah, they haven't given me a guest list or head count either yet. 

You got fucked. Tell your gf to call eatzies or something and order up all these sides and other shit you need.

[MissingInAction 25205]

I was just at an open HEB and they have everything you could imagine for a Xmas dinner prepped and ready for the oven. 

If you actually want to succeed in pleasing your taskmaster gf. Otherwise dump her on xmas eve with text and a pic of you with a bar skank.

[Chewbacca 7787]

On 11/16/2022 at 9:39 PM, MissingInAction said:

Got the passive aggressive invite today. To which I responded with a simple "No."

As many of you who deal with selfish narcissistic cunts on the reg understand, "No." Is their kryptonite. 

They can't fucking stand it. They always dig for something else. The No is never enough. How can they twist reality to their liking with a simple No? 

Fuck em. 

No is a complete sentence, but those folks don't want to accept that at all.

[Chewbacca 7787]

On 11/20/2022 at 9:01 PM, Telegraph_it said:

Fucking shit fuck. The new plane won’t be ready. There is only one seat installed because the interior is way behind. And now I have to drive to somewhere near Abilene with two kids from Houston and a very pregnant wife. 
 

This is some BS. When I joined this family all the non extended family lived nearby. Now the BIL has moved out west and for some reason this year we need to go all the way out there. 
 

I might need to play the health card. I don’t think my wife wants to do an at home birth since there are no hospitals out there. 

@ChiTownDoc problems right here.

[Telegraph_it 3359]

2 hours ago, HouTex said:

Did he get tested?  I’m now getting over my quarterly seasonal allergies.  I had no fever—just sinus drainage and a cough for a couple of days.  I tested negative for Covid—suspected as much because I’ve had these symptoms hundreds of times, so I haven’t restricted my activities.  

No test until after they left, and he was not feeling better. He probably did catch covid at the perfect time to wreak havoc on the gathering. Oh well. Everyone in my crew is still holding it down. There were 16 people total at one time, and 6 have now tested positive over the last 3 days.

 
Thankfully we do not have the second Christmas with my family until Christmas Eve. Time to go dust off those covid tests we have somewhere.

[Telegraph_it 3359]

29 minutes ago, Chewbacca said:

@ChiTownDoc problems right here.

Kind of. Except one of his watches cost more than the plane. 

[nnm 36672]

24 minutes ago, Telegraph_it said:

Kind of. Except one of his watches cost more than the plane. 

No way either of them can compete with Greenspoint. Those nurses make bank. We’ve seen the pay stub. 

[Guadaloopy 11022]

1 hour ago, MissingInAction said:

I was just at an open HEB and they have everything you could imagine for a Xmas dinner prepped and ready for the oven. 

If you actually want to succeed in pleasing your taskmaster gf. Otherwise dump her on xmas eve with text and a pic of you with a bar skank.

This is the way.  Did this for Thanksgiving and everything in the box was solid.  2.5 hours from turning on the oven to sitting at the table to eat.  

[Paper_jam 838]

7 hours ago, 4th&Five said:

My folks sent a text to my brother and I last night that they just bought their first new TV in 15 years and we get to set it up on Xmas and then teach them how it works.  Fun!

No matter what you show them, they'll end up watching nothing but standard def channels in weird zoom/stretch modes. When I'd switch to the corresponding HD channel to show my folks how much better HD is, they'd always say "it looks the same to me ." They'd just keep using the SD channels because the numbers were lower and easier to remember.

[statsman 5486]

10 hours ago, GhostofDanJones said:

Pray for me...

Girlfriend's family always does a huge Christmas party on Christmas Eve at their place and invite a lot of their friends and my family too, which is great, but now I'm told that apparently their party will now be at my house. She sprung this up on me last night. So now instead of cooking one thing and bringing it over for a potluck like we do every year I'm now in charge of grilling everything(GFs father and brother have volunteered to help me to take some of the pressure off) and cooking almost all the sides(your standard stuffing, casseroles, pies, etc.). When I asked about why it's at our place all of a sudden she said that her family wanted to "try something new" this year. More like try my patience. I've put my foot down and told my future MIL that they need to cook 75% of the side dishes since I literally do not have time. I've told them multiple times that I'll be in the office most of that day on Christmas Eve getting some last minute work done since we'll be closed that next week and I'll be on vacation until January 3rd. 

If it's your party, go all out and invite me and others, but don't fucking volunteer us to host at the last god damn minute! Going to be knocking back egg nog with Jack Daniels to get ready for this disaster. Oh yeah, they haven't given me a guest list or head count either yet. 

Question- does this party prep involve cleaning your place so it’s presentable to her family? If so, who is doing it? If it’s you, or you and her, you are about to get a preview of the rest of your life. 
 

Good luck!

Edited December 20, 2022 by statsman

[SHOOTER12 8833]

11 hours ago, GhostofDanJones said:

Pray for me...

Girlfriend's family always does a huge Christmas party on Christmas Eve at their place and invite a lot of their friends and my family too, which is great, but now I'm told that apparently their party will now be at my house. She sprung this up on me last night. So now instead of cooking one thing and bringing it over for a potluck like we do every year I'm now in charge of grilling everything(GFs father and brother have volunteered to help me to take some of the pressure off) and cooking almost all the sides(your standard stuffing, casseroles, pies, etc.). When I asked about why it's at our place all of a sudden she said that her family wanted to "try something new" this year. More like try my patience. I've put my foot down and told my future MIL that they need to cook 75% of the side dishes since I literally do not have time. I've told them multiple times that I'll be in the office most of that day on Christmas Eve getting some last minute work done since we'll be closed that next week and I'll be on vacation until January 3rd. 

If it's your party, go all out and invite me and others, but don't fucking volunteer us to host at the last god damn minute! Going to be knocking back egg nog with Jack Daniels to get ready for this disaster. Oh yeah, they haven't given me a guest list or head count either yet. 

Uh..fuck no

You want me to host? Fine, but don't even think I'm doing it on that short of a notice.  Also, you want to volunteer my place, you'd damned well better ask first...

 

Now get in the kitchen and make me a sammich. 

Edited December 21, 2022 by SHOOTER12

[ChiTownDoc 21175]

5 hours ago, Chewbacca said:

@ChiTownDoc problems right here.

It’s the opposite of having two QB’s.  If you’ve only got one plane, you’ve got none.  

5 hours ago, Telegraph_it said:

Kind of. Except one of his watches cost more than the plane. 

Niceeee. 
 

Jokes aside, I’ve poured almost all of it back into a roll up so I’ll either have a shiny new G6 in 24-36 months or be an A lister again.  Been there before and I survived just fine.  A sense of humor and booze will carry me through.  

[BearSchlong 8116]

I am headed to CS tomorrow to hang out with my son, DIL, and her family.

Immediately upon arrival, my daughter, son, and DIL will take off for Waco to visit my ex-MIL. Intel confirms ex-wife has left the country, so grandma was “advised” today that her Christmas will be tomorrow or never. They are so angry at my ex (their mom) that the non-contact will continue indefinitely and perhaps forever.

I still almost regret my parting words to her; “you’re going to die alone.” Mainly because that spiteful, angry prediction is proving likely. She took active measures to destroy my son’s marriage and is neck-deep in the FO phase.

In the 5-6 hours it will take the kids to do the CS-Waco RT, my wife and I will be chilling with my son’s MIL, FIL, BILs, and dogs. I’m sure we are going to have a blast. The women plan to get shitfaced and laugh.

So that leaves me, my son’s FIL and his sons to cut up, chill out, and throw tennis balls to the dogs. Maybe burn meat, pee in the yard, and talk about Jimbo’s plan to turn it around.

Eventually my son and I will return to Beaumont in one car while the women follow in another. Later this week we’re going to the gun shop and shooting range to evaluate, practice, and buy more pistols. The women have decided it’s time to start carrying. And I’m looking forward to getting refresher training from a current US army shooting instructor. I’m supplying the guns, he is contributing the ammo and the expertise.

[Longboard Horn 40546]

12 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

I was just at an open HEB and they have everything you could imagine for a Xmas dinner prepped and ready for the oven. 

If you actually want to succeed in pleasing your taskmaster gf. Otherwise dump her on xmas eve with text and a pic of you with a bar skank.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8822]

Ho-fucking-ho and merry-fucking-Christmas to you all.
Leaving town on Friday or Saturday and heading up to Tyler.  This may get pushed back if the weather is shitty.  My wife is actually meeting my in-laws today so that my son can have a few more days with his grandparents before we arrive.
For the uninformed: I have two SILs.  One is/was? a nuclear engineer whose husband didn't like her working long hours at a nuclear power plant so convinced her to stay home and essentially be a bum like him.  She's now a rental property manager for a broker because they needed money and he's not going to work.  He graduated from college in 2006 and has literally never had a job in his life.  His resume is blank.  My other SIL is a bat-shit crazy moron who likes to give my wife and I parenting advice even though she has no kids.  But she was a nanny for 5 years!  She's in her mid 40s and her "significant other" is a retired microsoft middle manager who is a crazy left-winged conspiracy theorist (think cloak room on steroids - but no CR).  She's allergic to everything under the sun and has to have her own christmas and thanksgiving meals (who the fuck is allergic to fucking turkey and potatoes?)  My FIL is probably one of the nicest guys in the entire world.  He'd help anyone out who he can.  He's also a packrat who loves to go buy random shit at auctions.  He has over 75,000 nails.  His garage is packed to the rafters with shit (which is how I ended up with weedwacker string as a christmas gift a few years back).  He's an engineer by trade and loves tinkering with shit and building shit.  Takes care of his neighbors, would do anything to help anyone.  He just wants everyone to get along. ***HINT: there is typically a fight between my wife/my MIL and the 45 year old SIL over some stupid bullshit that makes me laugh and makes my wife just get pissed off***
Every year when we're driving home, my wife will always say to me - "We're not going to visit for next Christmas.  I want to spend Christmas at our house because I don't want to ever talk to her again", referring to the high-drama SIL.  Yet, here we are.
The deadbeat BIL will mope around for hours on end, drinking hard liquor at breakfast and throughout the day and is in a constant state of depression.  He hates being at my in-laws and they hate him.  Hell, everyone hates him and they even talk shit to him to his face.  He's the kind of person who I wouldn't be surprised if he went postal.  His wife (my SIL - the former nuclear engineer) is great with my son and overall, a pleasant person to be around.  I have no qualms with her whatsoever. 
My other SIL - literally no one can stand her.  She marches around whining all day, nitpicking at random bullshit and is just tiring to be around.  Her boyfriend just feeds this telling everyone what is wrong with society. 
Plan is to do the whole Christmas shindig with my folks on Christmas Eve (gifts, dinner, etc.) then spend the night at my in-laws, wake up and do their whole shindig.  I'm not sure what I'm cooking for lunch over there (told my FIL to buy whatever and I'll grill it, just need a heads up).  Christmas with my parents is so easy.  There's only 6 of us.  Christmas with my in-laws is a big fucking ordeal dealing with multiple personalities (10 people, 12 personalities), tears, yelling, and WTF christmas gifts.

[pearlandhorn 3274]

2 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Funny enough, when my brother and I were actually speaking (haven’t seen or spoken to him in over 12 years) we would always say that there was no family more disfunctional than ours. My mom would always say “be careful what you wish for.”

My mom was right. 

[Frank Drebin 5654]

21 hours ago, dcbc said:

My sister has planned since August to come visit our family and my mom, who is in assisted living in Tyler.  She helpfully booked the club house at Green Grove (our nickname for my mom's place) for Thursday (even though my wife and I are supposed to be working on Thursday.  So I texted to give her a heads up on Monday about the weather, which does, in fact, include some chance of precipitation with the drastic temperature drop with the suggestion that we could reschedule to next Monday when we're all off work.  But she is stubborn and has it in her head that if she leaves to head back to Houston by 2:30 p.m. on Thursday, it should be fine. 

 

[G650 14278]

On 12/18/2022 at 8:42 PM, tigol said:

Dude.  No worries.  Happy to help.  Some shit went down at a family Christmas party yesterday that I'm still trying to reconcile.  The bottom line is my Aunt is a fall down drunk and on the decline.  She literally fell down and my husband had to pick her ass up, put her on the couch and say "Don't try to get up!"  Spoiler alert:  She got up because she was "out of wine" and promptly fell the fuck back down again.  On the hardwood floor.  Full wine glass in hand.  It's a miracle she hasn't injured herself to the point of calling an ambulance, but I'm sure that is next.  

My Aunt was going down that road and somehow stabilized to my amazement. She has been good the past few Thanksgivings. We don't do the big Christmas thing anymore though because she was in fall down drunk stage one year and my Mom said no more.

[G650 14278]

On 12/20/2022 at 10:42 PM, ChiTownDoc said:

 A sense of humor and booze will carry me through.  

Always.

[Sbbruin 21898]

On 12/20/2022 at 9:44 AM, pearlandhorn said:

Ho-fucking-ho and merry-fucking-Christmas to you all.

Leaving town on Friday or Saturday and heading up to Tyler.  This may get pushed back if the weather is shitty.  My wife is actually meeting my in-laws today so that my son can have a few more days with his grandparents before we arrive.

For the uninformed: I have two SILs.  One is/was? a nuclear engineer whose husband didn't like her working long hours at a nuclear power plant so convinced her to stay home and essentially be a bum like him.  She's now a rental property manager for a broker because they needed money and he's not going to work.  He graduated from college in 2006 and has literally never had a job in his life.  His resume is blank.  My other SIL is a bat-shit crazy moron who likes to give my wife and I parenting advice even though she has no kids.  But she was a nanny for 5 years!  She's in her mid 40s and her "significant other" is a retired microsoft middle manager who is a crazy left-winged conspiracy theorist (think cloak room on steroids - but no CR).  She's allergic to everything under the sun and has to have her own christmas and thanksgiving meals (who the fuck is allergic to fucking turkey and potatoes?)  My FIL is probably one of the nicest guys in the entire world.  He'd help anyone out who he can.  He's also a packrat who loves to go buy random shit at auctions.  He has over 75,000 nails.  His garage is packed to the rafters with shit (which is how I ended up with weedwacker string as a christmas gift a few years back).  He's an engineer by trade and loves tinkering with shit and building shit.  Takes care of his neighbors, would do anything to help anyone.  He just wants everyone to get along. ***HINT: there is typically a fight between my wife/my MIL and the 45 year old SIL over some stupid bullshit that makes me laugh and makes my wife just get pissed off***

Every year when we're driving home, my wife will always say to me - "We're not going to visit for next Christmas.  I want to spend Christmas at our house because I don't want to ever talk to her again", referring to the high-drama SIL.  Yet, here we are.

The deadbeat BIL will mope around for hours on end, drinking hard liquor at breakfast and throughout the day and is in a constant state of depression.  He hates being at my in-laws and they hate him.  Hell, everyone hates him and they even talk shit to him to his face.  He's the kind of person who I wouldn't be surprised if he went postal.  His wife (my SIL - the former nuclear engineer) is great with my son and overall, a pleasant person to be around.  I have no qualms with her whatsoever. 

My other SIL - literally no one can stand her.  She marches around whining all day, nitpicking at random bullshit and is just tiring to be around.  Her boyfriend just feeds this telling everyone what is wrong with society. 

Plan is to do the whole Christmas shindig with my folks on Christmas Eve (gifts, dinner, etc.) then spend the night at my in-laws, wake up and do their whole shindig.  I'm not sure what I'm cooking for lunch over there (told my FIL to buy whatever and I'll grill it, just need a heads up).  Christmas with my parents is so easy.  There's only 6 of us.  Christmas with my in-laws is a big fucking ordeal dealing with multiple personalities (10 people, 12 personalities), tears, yelling, and WTF christmas gifts.

The season is officially here.  Bless you.

the post script is mandatory.

[Guest]

Anyone else have an uncle who tells them that their 6-year-old son (his great-nephew) is going to be happily married one day because "I saw him sticking that tongue out. He's going to have a happy wife."

No? That's not normal Christmas talk?

Edited December 22, 2022 by FirstTimeCaller

[Parliament 14336]

Well he's not wrong...

[52-80 19264]

On 12/20/2022 at 5:10 PM, 4th&Five said:

My folks sent a text to my brother and I last night that they just bought their first new TV in 15 years and we get to set it up on Xmas and then teach them how it works.  Fun!

Atleast on screen menus obviated the 500-button sony remote controls of the past

[4th&Five 41600]

10 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

Atleast on screen menus obviated the 500-button sony remote controls of the past

I guarantee that will be no less confusing for them. These people are Luddites that can't figure out how to change the input to their DVD player (oh yeah!) even though we typed out step by step directions.

[dcbc 14531]

On 12/20/2022 at 1:20 PM, dcbc said:

So with a clear conscience that I have warned her, we'll see how this goes.  I'm sure it will be fine and I will get to hear a story about the harrowing drive home at some point. 

Update: It was snowing when they left.  Last word I got was that they were through the worst of it and 10 miles from Buccee's on 45.  During lunch, the wind gusts almost blew the wreaths off the windows.

[MissingInAction 25205]

23 minutes ago, dcbc said:

Update: It was snowing when they left.  Last word I got was that they were through the worst of it and 10 miles from Buccee's on 45.  During lunch, the wind gusts almost blew the wreaths off the windows.

The wreath fund has you covered.

[tx ind 7013]

9 hours ago, FirstTimeCaller said:

Anyone else have an uncle who tells them that their 6-year-old son (his great-nephew) is going to be happily married one day because "I saw him sticking that tongue out. He's going to have a happy wife."

No? That's not normal Christmas talk?

@Uncle Boobs?

[Pato del Muerto 52617]

18 minutes ago, tx ind said:

@Uncle Boobs?

Gruncle boobs