How Lazy Are You?

[Horn_Spanker 524]

My four year old refrigerator still has the blue tape inside holding the shelves in place while it was shipped.  Just noticed all the ice maker hoses are in the bottom bin. 

[TexArcher 37989]

I don't even bother to pull out.

[Braff Zacklin 13635]

 

[Prepuce of Doom 21097]

I didn't even read whatever this thread is about. 

[Redneck Mutha 8007]

Pretty damn. 

[futureman 22510]

I remember someone on shaggy once said they packed up and moved dirty dishes.  I thought that was one of the laziest things I'd ever heard.

[Upgrayedd 5816]

13 minutes ago, futureman said:

I remember someone on shaggy once said they packed up and moved dirty dishes.  I thought that was one of the laziest things I'd ever heard.

Goodwill

[dcbc 14496]

I moved into an apartment and put one of my boxes of clothes and stuff in a closet to unpack the next day.  When I moved out a year later, the box still was there and was one less thing to pack. 

[Scheiss Meister 8408]

I once asked my son, who was headed to the bathroom, to take a piss for me, since he was already up.

[futureman 22510]

29 minutes ago, dcbc said:

I moved into an apartment and put one of my boxes of clothes and stuff in a closet to unpack the next day.  When I moved out a year later, the box still was there and was one less thing to pack. 

that's nothin.

[BearSchlong 8104]

I once asked my son, who was headed to the bathroom, to take a piss for me, since he was already up.

Reminds me of that old George Carlin bit.

“You're gonna take a shit? Don't take one of mine, the weekend is coming up and I'm running low”

[Celery Man 20981]

There’s a plastic outlet cover on the mantle that’s been there since we replaced all the cream covers with white ones and I realized that a few of them were too small and showed some of an earlier wall paint color. That was before the baby was born, she’s 18 month. I just need to remove the little one and put this guy on there and I’ll eventually do it.

[Longhornstampede 3185]

I let the mailman remove the tape holding the lid shut on my new mailbox after I mounted it to the wall 

[General Specific 3262]

I once asked my son, who was headed to the bathroom, to take a piss for me, since he was already up.

[Shoxthemonkey 1982]

I have "The Lazy MF" registered with the Kansas Livestock Association as my brand. I don't know how to lay an M over to type it accurately and I don't really care to learn how.

[Native Horn 3504]

Lemme get back to you on this

[Nuge 1970]

I'm not lazy, I just prefer to leave things up to fate. 

If everything is predetermined why do I need to get up from the sofa?

[General Specific 3262]

If lazy is the mid point, realize that 50% of the people are lazier than that!

[South Austin 52523]

The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy.  It's that I just don't care.

[Macanudo 12999]

1 hour ago, South Austin said:

The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy.  It's that I just don't care.

My life's motto.  

[futureman 22510]

6 minutes ago, Macanudo said:

My life's motto.  

why china will overtake us. 

[Macanudo 12999]

13 minutes ago, futureman said:

why china will overtake us. 

Eh.

[Armybrat 40856]

[Post Oak 20254]

I'm so

[futureman 22510]

I’m not lazy at all.  I relentlessly push myself to be the best in all aspects of my life. 

[Braff Zacklin 13635]

[Guadaloopy 10989]

Classic from Reddit:

"I was once on a US military ship, having breakfast in the wardroom (officers lounge) when the Operations Officer (OPS) walks in. This guy was the definition of NOT a morning person; he’s still half asleep, bleary eyed… basically a zombie with a bagel. He sits down across from me to eat his bagel and is just barely conscious. My back is to the outboard side of the ship, and the morning sun is blazing in one of the portholes putting a big bright-ass circle of light right on his barely conscious face. He’s squinting and chewing and basically just remembering how to be alive for today. It’s painful to watch.

But then zombie-OPS stops chewing, slowly picks up the phone, and dials the bridge. In his well-known I’m-still-totally-asleep voice, he says “heeeey. It’s OPS. Could you… shift our barpat… yeah, one six five. Thanks.” And puts the phone down. And then he just sits there. Squinting. Waiting.

And then, ever so slowly, I realize that that big blazing spot of sun has begun to slide off the zombie’s face and onto the wall behind him. After a moment it clears his face and he blinks slowly a few times and the brilliant beauty of what I’ve just witnessed begins to overwhelm me. By ordering the bridge to adjust the ship’s back-and-forth patrol by about 15 degrees, he’s changed our course just enough to reposition the sun off of his face. He’s literally just redirected thousands of tons of steel and hundreds of people so that he could get the sun out of his eyes while he eats his bagel. I am in awe.

He slowly picks up his bagel and for a moment I’m terrified at the thought that his own genius may escape him, that he may never appreciate the epic brilliance of his laziness (since he’s not going to wake up for another hour). But between his next bites he pauses, looks at me, and gives me the faintest, sly grin, before returning to gnaw slowly on his zombie bagel."

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

It’s not out of the norm for me to pick up take out on the way home from spending $x00+ at the grocery store

[Covri 6250]

3 hours ago, futureman said:

I’m not lazy at all.  I relentlessly push myself to be the best in all aspects of my life. 

Who else but futureman!

 

[futureman 22510]

I understand that some of you may find it threatening but I simply never settle for less than my best at all times.

[SurlyBDR 22814]

6 minutes ago, futureman said:

I understand that some of you may find it threatening but I simply never settle for less than my best at all times.

[Wally Pryor 5261]

Lazy? Da fuck?

I strive to achieve excellence, 24/7, and will almost kill myself to do so. 

I model my approach to that undertaken by Mack Brown, in Florida, at high school football games, in mid December 2014. 

[Fudge Nuggets 19209]

22 hours ago, futureman said:

I remember someone on shaggy once said they packed up and moved dirty dishes.  I thought that was one of the laziest things I'd ever heard.

I know a dude that packed up a full ashtray.

[tfoolry 8222]

I finally clicked on this thread.  

[Underdog 28754]

I procrastinate like a motherfucker. 

[txduck87 986]

I understand that some of you may find it threatening but I simply never settle for less than my best at all times.

Over 25k posts on an internet chat board is maximizing your potential? Yikes.

[futureman 22510]

6 minutes ago, txduck87 said:

Over 25k posts on an internet chat board is maximizing your potential? Yikes.

you have no idea. 

[Davis Lane 5587]

[Kennythetiger 9411]

On 11/3/2022 at 11:45 PM, Longhornstampede said:

I let the mailman remove the tape holding the lid shut on my new mailbox after I mounted it to the wall 

He didn’t mind. Your wife thanked him later. 

[Not a cat 5660]

On 11/4/2022 at 8:29 PM, Wally Pryor said:

Lazy? Da fuck?

I strive to achieve excellence, 24/7, and will almost kill myself to do so. 

I model my approach to that undertaken by Mack Brown, in Florida, at high school football games, in mid December 2014. 

2013, but the fact you were too lazy to look it up just proves your point.

[Underdog 28754]

5 hours ago, Davis Lane said:

 

[FlaBuff 47]

I

[Superhero 8832]

Saw this thread 2 weeks ago. Too lazy to read this drivel.

[MissingInAction 25130]

Sometimes I'll give up jerking off cause I don't feel like doing clean up.

[Superhero 8832]

20 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

Sometimes I'll give up jerking off cause I don't feel like doing clean up.

Is this you?

[MissingInAction 25130]

12 minutes ago, Superhero said:

Is this you?

No, I give up before that happens.

[tfoolry 8222]

On 11/12/2022 at 9:08 PM, FlaBuff said:

I

[Kwix 2191]

On 11/4/2022 at 9:35 PM, tfoolry said:

I finally clicked on this thread.  

I got you beat 

[TrashMaster G 17581]

On 11/4/2022 at 9:35 PM, tfoolry said:

I finally clicked on this thread.  

You beat me by over a month, you overachiever. 

[Davis Lane 5587]