Depression, OCD, and whatever else ails you between the ears

[Bozo_Casanova 26773]

29 minutes ago, Sandman said:

Several years ago, I had a fractured molar and had to get a crown. No biggie. Then a few years later, I started having hot and cold pain, dentist says the new crown is cracked (WTF). Got a new crown and later still, had more pain. He says I need to see a endodontist or periodontist, as the new crown is solid and looks to be seated perfectly. I called one of those and after explaining my issue, the gal said she thinks my tooth has cracked all the way down and needs to be removed and replaced with an implant. I said fuck that noise and moved on. Haven't had pain for maybe a year....until this past week. Real, intense pain from anything hot. I think I'm finally fucked.

TL;DR please go get your tooth checked out and save yourself some misery down the road.

Dude. Get that shit out. Whether you need an implant is another question. 

[Parliament 14556]

My dad is 73 and retired 18 months ago.  He was a workaholic who never had a hobby and now he just sits at home all day...with his crazy 2nd wife.  None of us kids are psychologists, but there is definitely something wrong with them both.  She's a manipulative, narcissist/sociopath/psychopath and he's depressed.  We knew she was bad, but didn't realize HOW bad until this week.  He has diabetes that he manages OK probably, but still has occasional problems.  She's gaslighting him, telling him he's not safe to drive.  Two of my sisters live out of town, and want their kids to see him for Christmas.  His wife is berating him not to drive, and the sisters aren't gonna bring their kids out to the house because it's a hoarders shithole.  Like worse than you could ever imagine.  So he isn't gonna see any of his grandkids this Xmas, for the 2nd year in a row.

He let me pick him up for breakfast yesterday, and man is he rough.  Dirty clothes, partially shaved and I'm not sure how long since he's bathed.  His mental acquity is pretty good but he can't walk very well at all.  And he's severely depressed.  Discussing his driving I told him that if he feels safe driving, and his doctor is good with it, he definitely should.  He needs to get out of the house and away from her at least some.  It'll be a small bit of help for his mental health.

He replied that he hasn't seen his doctor about it and it's just his wife who says it isn't safe.  He feels fine driving.  She's isolating him from everyone else.  Sisters decided he needs to get a thorough checkup that includes checking for dementia.  I was gonna call him and talk about that, and youngest sister is gonna bring him to the doc.

So I called him tonight.  "Dad, it needs to be your doctor helping decide if you should drive, not your wife."  He totally blew it off.  I brought the conversation back to it twice more and left it at, "Youngest sister is gonna call you Monday.  You really need to do this."

He might(?) have been somewhat swayed by my sales pitch, but his wife is gonna kibosh it immediately. He ain't gonna go to no doctor.

And here's something we need to always remind ourselves of.  Outsiders have NO idea what's going on in your family.  Our dad has 8 siblings living closeby.  It's a tight German Catholic family, and I assumed our dad's problems we well known, but never discussed.  Not the case.  His younger brother took me aside after Mass with concerns last night and I told him everything.  He had no idea.  "We alway knew she was a bit off, but whenever we see her she's real nice."  (Well duh, that's her way.  Super syrup one minute and insufferably mean the next.)  

[Grade of D as in David 13255]

On 12/24/2021 at 6:00 PM, Bozo_Casanova said:

I’d like to feel real joy again. It seems like lately the best I can do is relief or satisfaction, and thats not quite enough. 

Know what I mean?

 

All too well man. 

[ROFL BOX 6654]

On 12/25/2021 at 5:04 PM, Sandman said:

Several years ago, I had a fractured molar and had to get a crown. No biggie. Then a few years later, I started having hot and cold pain, dentist says the new crown is cracked (WTF). Got a new crown and later still, had more pain. He says I need to see a endodontist or periodontist, as the new crown is solid and looks to be seated perfectly. I called one of those and after explaining my issue, the gal said she thinks my tooth has cracked all the way down and needs to be removed and replaced with an implant. I said fuck that noise and moved on. Haven't had pain for maybe a year....until this past week. Real, intense pain from anything hot. I think I'm finally fucked.

TL;DR please go get your tooth checked out and save yourself some misery down the road.

@Bevo... please respond to the Burnt Orange courtesy phone.

[Mrs Whiggins 13050]

Here's to the new year and everyone making the best of times, good and bad.

 

[gurt 796]

Does anybody else always fear the worst? I find myself fearing the future all the time, just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I had some bad experiences with work earlier this year and finally find myself at a good place as of November. It has been nothing but good so far but I still catastrophize all the time. “What if these people quit? What if they ask me to do things I don’t know how to do/can handle?” Its exhausting and I can’t seem to just exist in the moment and not have anxiety about the future.

[TwiceHorn 31983]

14 minutes ago, gurt said:

Does anybody else always fear the worst? I find myself fearing the future all the time, just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I had some bad experiences with work earlier this year and finally find myself at a good place as of November. It has been nothing but good so far but I still catastrophize all the time. “What if these people quit? What if they ask me to do things I don’t know how to do/can handle?” Its exhausting and I can’t seem to just exist in the moment and not have anxiety about the future.

Yeah, very common.  Often as an adjunct to something else.  Example, alcoholics have a chronic inability to live in the present, either regretting the past or fearing the future.

Perhaps some mindfulness training?

I don't really know shit about mindfulness, but I have gotten pretty good since sobering up at quashing the negative self-dialog, including fearing the future.  One of the related things that alkies learn is to take care of what's right in front of you, largely because that's all you can do.  So, when I start dreading future things, I start looking at what I currently have on my plate, whether I'm taking care of that business, and whether there's anything I can do currently to minimize bad future outcomes.  That seems to refocus me.

Also, it's kind of tongue-in-cheek, but it works for me:  Que sera sera, fuck it.

 

Edited January 5, 2022 by TwiceHorn

[gurt 796]

Thanks for the reply.  Yes, I need to really set aside time to learn mindfulness.  

I seem to apply any bad experiences in the past to the future.  Like how bad things went with my previous company, and leaving to another that ended up being a really bad fit (they didn't tell me there would be travel involved in the interview process which is a no-go for my wife).  Now I am at a good company that is growing a lot and has a lot of opportunity to grow but I just keep expecting things to go bad like they have in the past.  Like I can't just live in the present. 

Anyways, I'm glad to be able to talk about mental issues here, especially in a predominantly male space as it can feel a bit isolating dealing with anxiety as a man.  

[TwiceHorn 31983]

7 minutes ago, gurt said:

Thanks for the reply.  Yes, I need to really set aside time to learn mindfulness.  

I seem to apply any bad experiences in the past to the future.  Like how bad things went with my previous company, and leaving to another that ended up being a really bad fit (they didn't tell me there would be travel involved in the interview process which is a no-go for my wife).  Now I am at a good company that is growing a lot and has a lot of opportunity to grow but I just keep expecting things to go bad like they have in the past.  Like I can't just live in the present. 

Anyways, I'm glad to be able to talk about mental issues here, especially in a predominantly male space as it can feel a bit isolating dealing with anxiety as a man.  

Yep, I guess the root thing there is anxiety.  As has been discussed here and elsewhere, benzos are often prescribed for anxiety, but that's not a cure, it just masks the symptoms, plus there's a high addiction hazard.

I guess mindfulness is part of cognitive behavioral therapy, even it it's not nominated as such.  CBT is usually cited as the "cure" for anxiety and the other "thought processing" disorders.  Sometimes, too, anxiety comes as sort of a byproduct of depression and SSRIs have been known to help, as well as CBT.

There's also a species of CBT called dialectic behavior therapy that I know is used a lot, successfully, for PTSD.  And you may be sporting some PTSD from prior experiences.

We alkies get a sort of "subclinical" (meaning not full blown, usually) taste of depression, anxiety, kind of the whole smorgasbord of things that mostly resolves when we get sober and get into the targeted CBT of AA and other recovery programs that address "stinkin thinkin."  But sometimes these things persist well into sobriety, even very good sobriety, and require independent treatment.

Edited January 5, 2022 by TwiceHorn

[Mrs Whiggins 13050]

On 1/5/2022 at 12:02 PM, gurt said:

as it can feel a bit isolating dealing with anxiety as a man.  

I wish it were not so. I don't view males as any different when they express worry or anxiety because they are human, same as me. But I get it. Men are still not the same as me, because I am not male. And I sure cannot know what it is like to be male and have other males view or judge me.

I do know that my best friendships are where we have dropped the bullshit of life is perfect, our children are perfect, we are wonderful perfect mothers (or for my male friends, fathers) work is successful and we are fine just fine and admit our fears, our worries, and our doubts. It's so hard to do that in our culture. So very hard.

I'll bow out now, but best of luck to you and I hope you find peace of mind.

[tchookem 3965]

Sorry if this has been covered earlier in the thread, but it's a long thread and figured I'd just ask and hopefully someone will feel kind enough to reply.

Having some anxiety issues related to work. Finally ready to talk to a professional about getting a plan to deal with them. It's not an emergency-type situation, so I don't need to call anyone right now, but it is overdue.

Question: How do I even get started? How do I find a therapist? Do I need to contact HR to see if there are in-network therapists that my health insurance will help pay for?

Any help is appreciated. TIA

[TwiceHorn 31983]

1 minute ago, tchookem said:

Sorry if this has been covered earlier in the thread, but it's a long thread and figured I'd just ask and hopefully someone will feel kind enough to reply.

Having some anxiety issues related to work. Finally ready to talk to a professional about getting a plan to deal with them. It's not an emergency-type situation, so I don't need to call anyone right now, but it is overdue.

Question: How do I even get started? How do I find a therapist? Do I need to contact HR to see if there are in-network therapists that my health insurance will help pay for?

Any help is appreciated. TIA

I'm not sure how Obamacare has affected it, but historically, employer-sponsored plans didn't cover much in the way of therapists. If they covered anything at all, it's a limited number of visits and a small "discount."    Certainly worth looking into.  And that may initially narrow your universe of choices.

You're probably looking at around $200 per hourly visit and will start with weekly or bi-weekly visits and adjust.

Depending on how deeply personal are your issues, you may need to try a couple of therapists to find one that works for you and that you can trust.  So, if it doesn't feel right, you should feel free to switch.

What you are most likely looking for is "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy" abbreviated CBT.  Almost all talk therapy is fundamentally CBT, but a condition like anxiety is kind of "intense" or "directed" CBT.  Also, do you think that it traces to any kind of traumatic event at work or elsewhere?  That can implicate PTSD, which is not just limited to combat soldiers, any kind of traumatic experience can provoke PTSD, which includes some pretty intense anxiety related to specific things.  And PTSD typically implicates even more intense and directed therapy.

Perhaps if you are willing to state your location, someone can post or PM a recommendation for someone they have found effective.

[tchookem 3965]

What you are most likely looking for is "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy" abbreviated CBT. 

I'm aware of this, you're probably correct about this being what I'm looking for/needing

Also, do you think that it traces to any kind of traumatic event at work or elsewhere?

My Holiday Inn Express expertise says this is likely.

Perhaps if you are willing to state your location, someone can post or PM a recommendation for someone they have found effective.

I'm in Round Rock.

[Native Horn 3569]

22 hours ago, tchookem said:

Sorry if this has been covered earlier in the thread, but it's a long thread and figured I'd just ask and hopefully someone will feel kind enough to reply.

Having some anxiety issues related to work. Finally ready to talk to a professional about getting a plan to deal with them. It's not an emergency-type situation, so I don't need to call anyone right now, but it is overdue.

Question: How do I even get started? How do I find a therapist? Do I need to contact HR to see if there are in-network therapists that my health insurance will help pay for?

Any help is appreciated. TIA

You might want to find out if your company has an EAP (Employee Assistance Plan) that you could use.  Some EAPs come with availability to therapists, and it should be confidential.  

[Grade of D as in David 13255]

On 1/8/2022 at 9:15 PM, tchookem said:

Sorry if this has been covered earlier in the thread, but it's a long thread and figured I'd just ask and hopefully someone will feel kind enough to reply.

Having some anxiety issues related to work. Finally ready to talk to a professional about getting a plan to deal with them. It's not an emergency-type situation, so I don't need to call anyone right now, but it is overdue.

Question: How do I even get started? How do I find a therapist? Do I need to contact HR to see if there are in-network therapists that my health insurance will help pay for?

Any help is appreciated. TIA

You can try through insurance but therapists are in short supply right now. I had to go out of pocket and even then had to wait for a month to get in with someone.

 

Try psychology today. 

[tigol 2465]

You might try to find one that is willing to do a free consultation to see if they can help you.  It made a huge difference for me and I was able to get help without feeling trapped by one therapist.  It's important that you connect with the person.  Do not feel bad and do not waste your time if you don't feel you are getting help.  It took me several tries to find the right person and that took years because I thought it was me.

[troph 25088]

My grandmother died today, haven’t seen her since well shit went down. At the same time my dad and his brother decided it was time for a nursing home.  I’m sure I could have forced it, but he decided she shouldn’t know about me.  The convenience of putting her in a home made it hard for me to find her, he wouldn’t tell me where she was the one time I asked. We were pretty close, my grandmother and I. I stayed with her in law school. she saw shit clearly. She knew I didn’t have a good relationship with him and didn’t blame me. She had the sorrow only a wise woman could have. I should have reached out, but fuck the adults in the room for being gatekeepers and deciding who I am is too hard for a grandmother.  His embarrassment and judgment destroyed our relationship.  I’m not going to the funeral, that’s for the living. The peace and respect I need and the space I need to honor her I can only find alone.  You ever wonder what it’s like for your queer, gay, trans friends who grow up in families like so many of us? Peace is only found when alone.  I wasn’t made for this world. Fuck this life, fuck it right to hell. 

Edited February 1, 2022 by troph

[mchookem 16727]

i'm so sorry to read that, troph. won't pretend to understand how you may be feeling...just wishing you peace.

[South Austin 53151]

Very sorry for your loss, troph. I do believe that peace is found with others. You just have to be with the right ones who fill your cup.

[Shoxthemonkey 1992]

I have no words, Troph. I'll be thinking about you.

[hookemATL 12228]

Peace and Love, troph. 🤘❤️

[TwiceHorn 31983]

What they said, friend.

[Nicole44 22206]

Shit. What do you say to a family friend who is dying? This guy is 78 years old and was my neighbor growing up in Amarillo. For a little background: His wife died in 2018. Their son committed suicide in 1990 and their daughter has stage 4 ovarian cancer. He and his wife were always super supportive of me when I was in college and law school. I miss his wife so much.  My mom wants me to call him just to talk and I will soon, I just don’t know what the fuck to say. Their whole family is about to be wiped out and I don’t want it to be about ME being sorry for him. I just don’t know what to say and I don’t have a lot of time to come up with something. Can y’all help me with this? 

[hookemATL 12228]

Express your love and appreciation for him, his family, and impart to him how they positively impacted your life. Doesn’t really need to be more complicated than that. If he wants to chat and reminisce then just go with it and live in the moment knowing you won’t get another chance. Try and get a few laughs in, and cry all you want as well. Unless you are one of those ladies that naturally cries hysterically and can’t stop. Maybe wait to cry like that in the shower like I do every other day. 

[Reagan1k 3040]

My experience only- tell them you love them, but don’t JUST tell them you love them….instead tell them WHY you love them.   If he’s terminal, he knows he’s dying.  What he’ll like to hear is all the unsaid things that should have been said.  I had a friend die last year, far too young, and I told them all of the things they did for me that meant so much and talked about all the great memories.  The exact things that will make you mourn their loss will bring them joy to hear; expressed by you while they are still physically here.   That advice was given to me from a hospice worker and the experience changed from one I feared and transformed into one of the greatest interactions of my life. 

[closetohumping 17776]

Not even sure this goes here but I had a gambling problem.  Quitting today. That’s right on the super bowl

[former alkie 72]

On 2/12/2022 at 9:42 AM, Nicole44 said:

Shit. What do you say to a family friend who is dying? This guy is 78 years old and was my neighbor growing up in Amarillo. For a little background: His wife died in 2018. Their son committed suicide in 1990 and their daughter has stage 4 ovarian cancer. He and his wife were always super supportive of me when I was in college and law school. I miss his wife so much.  My mom wants me to call him just to talk and I will soon, I just don’t know what the fuck to say. Their whole family is about to be wiped out and I don’t want it to be about ME being sorry for him. I just don’t know what to say and I don’t have a lot of time to come up with something. Can y’all help me with this? 

I've dealt with situations similar to this, and it's really not that difficult of a conversation as you anticipate.

Just call the friend, and ask him how the heck he's doing.  Apologize if you haven't been in touch recently, say he popped into your mind, so you wanted to touch base.

Just have a conversation...let him be the one to bring up what's going on, and go from there.

It's honestly not as difficult as you fear.....I promise.

[XYZ 2154]

5 hours ago, closetohumping said:

Not even sure this goes here but I had a gambling problem.  Quitting today. That’s right on the super bowl

Good!

[Hook1997 5486]

What is it called when little things bother you too much?  If a friend doesn’t call me back or text back I go to, what did I do wrong and obsess over what did I do wrong.  When a majority of the time it’s nothing and just how they are normally but I over think it. If I’m not invited somewhere I think I should have been, even if to them it’s just a simple slip of mind or they probably thought I was doing something so why ask thing, I feel hurt.  I do this so much, topped with normal depression and texting them when depressed and not getting a answer from text or phone calls makes me over think more that I did something wrong for some reason when I know  deep down I didn’t actually do anything.  Basically I’m a way over thinker, especially when I’m depressed.  I feel attacked by things that don’t actually exist probably often.   I make things a lot more complicated in my head then they probably are basically.  I’m a very much a over thinker on shit that never leads to good, except for on work things sometimes.

Edited February 14, 2022 by Hook1997

[Reagan1k 3040]

4 hours ago, Hook1997 said:

What is it called when little things bother you too much?  If a friend doesn’t call me back or text back I go to, what did I do wrong and obsess over what did I do wrong.  When a majority of the time it’s nothing and just how they are normally but I over think it. If I’m not invited somewhere I think I should have been, even if to them it’s just a simple slip of mind or they probably thought I was doing something so why ask thing, I feel hurt.  I do this so much, topped with normal depression and texting them when depressed and not getting a answer from text or phone calls makes me over think more that I did something wrong for some reason when I know  deep down I didn’t actually do anything.  Basically I’m a way over thinker, especially when I’m depressed.  I feel attacked by things that don’t actually exist probably often.   I make things a lot more complicated in my head then they probably are basically.  I’m a very much a over thinker on shit that never leads to good, except for on work things sometimes.

Feelings aren’t facts.  That’s a good place to start.  We don’t have control over the thoughts that come into our heads- but we can control what we do with them.  If we dance with them, then they take the lead and we are but a passenger along for the ride.  

”There I go again…” is my attempted go-to when I get irrational or into fear.  I acknowledge the thought and then remind myself that reality is different.

CBT may be of assistance in helping to arrest and manage those feelings.  Normally it is some exaggerated fear of losing something we have or not getting something we want.  CBT will help to deal with those self-centered feelings…. Self-centered not in the stingy/selfish way, but based in the feeling that life is happening to me, rather than life is just going on around me.

The depression is probably intertwined in there and the two feed off each other.

You aren’t alone in those feelings!!!!!

[TwiceHorn 31983]

1 hour ago, Reagan1k said:

Feelings aren’t facts.  That’s a good place to start.  We don’t have control over the thoughts that come into our heads- but we can control what we do with them.  If we dance with them, then they take the lead and we are but a passenger along for the ride.  

”There I go again…” is my attempted go-to when I get irrational or into fear.  I acknowledge the thought and then remind myself that reality is different.

CBT may be of assistance in helping to arrest and manage those feelings.  Normally it is some exaggerated fear of losing something we have or not getting something we want.  CBT will help to deal with those self-centered feelings…. Self-centered not in the stingy/selfish way, but based in the feeling that life is happening to me, rather than life is just going on around me.

The depression is probably intertwined in there and the two feed off each other.

You aren’t alone in those feelings!!!!!

Great answer.  "Interpretation" and reaction to feelings is problematic for a whole lot of people.

In my observation, it is closely tied to your "internal dialog," what you say to yourself or think about yourself.

I have never gone full Stuart Smalley, but trying to stop yourself when you recognize bad thinking patterns and also trying to prop yourself up with your internal dialog can be important.

My variation of "there you go again," which is apt, is basically "stahp, just stahp."  And, when I would screw up, I'd often think or say to myself "dumbass."  So, now I "stahp" myself most of the time and remind myself that I'm ok, at least.

[Grade of D as in David 13255]

9 hours ago, Hook1997 said:

What is it called when little things bother you too much?  If a friend doesn’t call me back or text back I go to, what did I do wrong and obsess over what did I do wrong.  When a majority of the time it’s nothing and just how they are normally but I over think it. If I’m not invited somewhere I think I should have been, even if to them it’s just a simple slip of mind or they probably thought I was doing something so why ask thing, I feel hurt.  I do this so much, topped with normal depression and texting them when depressed and not getting a answer from text or phone calls makes me over think more that I did something wrong for some reason when I know  deep down I didn’t actually do anything.  Basically I’m a way over thinker, especially when I’m depressed.  I feel attacked by things that don’t actually exist probably often.   I make things a lot more complicated in my head then they probably are basically.  I’m a very much a over thinker on shit that never leads to good, except for on work things sometimes.

I'm actually working through this same thing with my therapist right now. You're right it basically boils down to game planning and then going to a worst case scenario as to why you were "forgotten about". While it's not a bad idea to game plan and figure out best and worst case scenarios just to prepare yourself what I've been finding is that acknowledging the worst case scenario and then consciously pivoting to the best case scenario leads to less anxiety for me. One other thing I've learned as a result of this is that with this reduced anxiety my overall stress and depression levels go down as well and little things like getting cut off in traffic which would have set me off before don't resonate the same way.

 

Best wishes man. I suggest trying to book some time with a therapist. You're not going to find many that are taking insurance at this time because so many people are just so stressed out with covid and everything. So you're going to end up paying out of pocket $140 to 200 bucks an hour. I never thought I would want to talk to a therapist and while I've only been seeing her for 6 weeks it's been a tremendous help for me personally. I suggest reaching out to a few in your area they will all do a 15 to 20 minute free consultation find one that you like and then see if they have any availability. If you need some recommendations in the Austin area PM me and I can let you know.

[XYZ 2154]

13 hours ago, Hook1997 said:

What is it called when little things bother you too much?

Neurosis?

[crash_davis 23465]

This past weekend, there were two suicides by UT students. Both males, a Junior and a Senior.

If you are hurting, please get help. If you know people who are hurting, make sure they get help.

 

[Shoxthemonkey 1992]

On 2/14/2022 at 7:10 AM, Reagan1k said:

Feelings aren’t facts. 

 

Thank you.

[UpperWestside 6262]

This will probably be one of the odder submissions to this thread, but I injured my middle finger and ring finger in a fall over in Jersey the first week in December. It was just gruesome to see. I was in shock seeing my middle finger just hanging there so I popped it back into place twice, bone crunching sound and all. After I got past that and having to take off my jacket, sweater and undershirt so I could wrap my left hand up to stop all the blood loss I called 911 and almost passed out before they showed up. I do not cuss often, but when I fell I said the F word three or four times at the top of my lungs. 
 

Anyhow after 5 hours in the ER the only doctor and nurse (both were great) showed up to stop the bleeding and gave me stitches. I was there another five hours after that taking tests that determined I had ligament tears. My middle finger looked like hamburger meat and they could only stitch around it. The skin that has grown back is as soft as a newborn which is kinda funny to be honest. Three weeks later I got the stitches out right before Christmas, but discovered a few days later that two were still in my ring finger. I said forget it and left it like that. The middle finger though was in some not great shape and it bent down and would not move. I still have zero movement of it because of the tear, but I am slowly getting it back straight. I do not want to go the surgery route, but I will if I have to. One poster on this board saw it in person and boy howdy does it still hurt to touch it! I am not big on pain meds, but I have had to take some oxycodone a few times to alleviate the pain of straightening it back up. 
 
That is where I am at currently. This thing works well, but it’s slow to get it straight. I feel fortunate to still have both fingers after the severity of the fall, but this has been exceptionally trying because I am a lefty. I still cannot grab onto things well (Have dropped many things) and writing is a non-starter as is typing. It’s crazy how the loss of use of one finger can alter so much of what we do. Anyhow I just wanted to share this because someone reminded me that I can talk as well about things bothering me and that I do not always have to be the one listening. 

One photo is this morning and the other was after some cleaning took place in the ER before the stitches went in the middle and ring finger in December.

[BearSchlong 8229]

That is tough, I'm pulling for you.  One doesn't know the effort it takes to do things one handed.

My left handed sister had a stroke a number of years ago and lost use of her right hand.  Last night we're eating dinner on the same side of a booth and she keeps bumping me with her left elbow and I realized she had to use her right hand to basically pin the meat to the plate and her left hand to cut it, and then change back to using the left for the fork.

I came to this thread today to recommend Jay Glaser's book Unbreakable: How I turned my depression and anxiety into motivation and you can too.

https://www.harpercollins.com/pages/Unbreakable

Pretty good read so far.  I really identify with his description of "the gray" which is that underlying bad feeling when we're not "on".  Sounds suspiciously like the "restless, irritable, and discontent" condition that I learned about in alcohol recovery.

Also how service work and getting outside one's head is the treatment.

Anyway, good stuff.

[XYZ 2154]

Has anybody used BetterHelp or TalkSpace or some other “telemedicine” type of talk therapy? Any recommendations?

[Grade of D as in David 13255]

29 minutes ago, XYZ said:

Has anybody used BetterHelp or TalkSpace or some other “telemedicine” type of talk therapy? Any recommendations?

I use minded for my antidepressants, but they just assign anyone to my monthly call.  I don't think I would like that from my therapist.  My therapist offers teletherapy though and I've found it helpful.

[closetohumping 17776]

On 2/14/2022 at 12:41 AM, Hook1997 said:

What is it called when little things bother you too much?  If a friend doesn’t call me back or text back I go to, what did I do wrong and obsess over what did I do wrong.  When a majority of the time it’s nothing and just how they are normally but I over think it. If I’m not invited somewhere I think I should have been, even if to them it’s just a simple slip of mind or they probably thought I was doing something so why ask thing, I feel hurt.  I do this so much, topped with normal depression and texting them when depressed and not getting a answer from text or phone calls makes me over think more that I did something wrong for some reason when I know  deep down I didn’t actually do anything.  Basically I’m a way over thinker, especially when I’m depressed.  I feel attacked by things that don’t actually exist probably often.   I make things a lot more complicated in my head then they probably are basically.  I’m a very much a over thinker on shit that never leads to good, except for on work things sometimes.

We may be cut from the same cloth.  I used to care how many people wished me a happy birthday ok Facebook. People I honestly didn’t care about.  It got less every year so I made and still make it a point to wish everyone Facebook friend a happy birthday, even if I didn’t know them.  Pretty sure alotnof these “friends” stopped wishing me a happy birthday intentionally.  Either wasn’t worth the trouble or they didn’t close me anymore.  All good

[South Austin 53151]

1 hour ago, closetohumping said:

We may be cut from the same cloth.  I used to care how many people wished me a happy birthday ok Facebook. People I honestly didn’t care about.  It got less every year so I made and still make it a point to wish everyone Facebook friend a happy birthday, even if I didn’t know them.  Pretty sure alotnof these “friends” stopped wishing me a happy birthday intentionally.  Either wasn’t worth the trouble or they didn’t close me anymore.  All good

I repped your post just to make you feel good. 

[closetohumping 17776]

3 minutes ago, South Austin said:

I repped your post just to make you feel good. 

I had sex with your mom

[South Austin 53151]

1 minute ago, closetohumping said:

I had sex with your mom

Well then you didn't need my rep.

[closetohumping 17776]

59 minutes ago, South Austin said:

Well then you didn't need my rep.

[XYZ 2154]

14 hours ago, closetohumping said:

But it’s a hell of a Wednesday.

[idigTexas 2321]

Do not underestimate anxiety.  For the past two+ months, I've been dealing with an assortment of symptoms that had me seeing my PCP and multiple neurologists to diagnose the cause of what was thought to be some extreme form of neuropathy with other abnormal nerve behaviors.  

Severity varied from day-to-day, but during the worst flare ups, I had tingling and numbness to some extent from head to toe, chills, frequent urination, lightheadedness, twitching, unsteadiness while on my feet, hunger, nausea, tiredness, general malaise, and at the worst of times, suicidal thoughts (because who wants to live with all of that).  Exercise or even common household activities seemed to exacerbate my symptoms.  The only time I felt somewhat normal was while sleeping, and I probably spent at least 50% of my time in bed.  I had several blood tests, brain MRI, ultrasounds, and physical examinations.  Everything has been coming back as normal.  

While researching some meds that had been prescribed, I came to the conclusion that we were chasing the wrong cause, and started looking into anxiety.  Once I was able to plausibly associate all of my symptoms with anxiety, I immediately felt better.  I still have a few lingering symptoms that are obviously caused by poor posture and too much time on the PC, but I have experienced those before, and will address them with massage and PT.  

It blows my mind how debilitating anxiety can be.  Looking back, I can clearly see that I was having panic attacks caused by snowmageddon PTSD, COVID, work stuff, relationship drama, and a host of other "between the ears" baggage.  I intend to get some professional help with dealing with anxiety in general, but just recognizing it is a huge part of the battle. 

I'm more than a bit concerned that none of the professionals in my healthcare circle even suggested it.  If my sister hadn't mentioned it to me as something I might want to address at some point, who knows how long I would have gone down the wrong path, continuing a life with no quality whatsoever.

Don't live with constant doom and gloom thoughts.  It will eat you up eventually.   

[Bogeywon 2546]

This explains a lot for me….. 

 

https://youtu.be/wHgK317SPbY

[XYZ 2154]

7 hours ago, idigTexas said:

Do not underestimate anxiety.  For the past two+ months, I've been dealing with an assortment of symptoms that had me seeing my PCP and multiple neurologists to diagnose the cause of what was thought to be some extreme form of neuropathy with other abnormal nerve behaviors.  

Severity varied from day-to-day, but during the worst flare ups, I had tingling and numbness to some extent from head to toe, chills, frequent urination, lightheadedness, twitching, unsteadiness while on my feet, hunger, nausea, tiredness, general malaise, and at the worst of times, suicidal thoughts (because who wants to live with all of that).  Exercise or even common household activities seemed to exacerbate my symptoms.  The only time I felt somewhat normal was while sleeping, and I probably spent at least 50% of my time in bed.  I had several blood tests, brain MRI, ultrasounds, and physical examinations.  Everything has been coming back as normal.  

While researching some meds that had been prescribed, I came to the conclusion that we were chasing the wrong cause, and started looking into anxiety.  Once I was able to plausibly associate all of my symptoms with anxiety, I immediately felt better.  I still have a few lingering symptoms that are obviously caused by poor posture and too much time on the PC, but I have experienced those before, and will address them with massage and PT.  

It blows my mind how debilitating anxiety can be.  Looking back, I can clearly see that I was having panic attacks caused by snowmageddon PTSD, COVID, work stuff, relationship drama, and a host of other "between the ears" baggage.  I intend to get some professional help with dealing with anxiety in general, but just recognizing it is a huge part of the battle. 

I'm more than a bit concerned that none of the professionals in my healthcare circle even suggested it.  If my sister hadn't mentioned it to me as something I might want to address at some point, who knows how long I would have gone down the wrong path, continuing a life with no quality whatsoever.

Don't live with constant doom and gloom thoughts.  It will eat you up eventually.   

Hey, good post, and I’m glad you were able to figure out the cause. Over the years I have grown increasingly disenchanted with the medical profession, particularly mental health. The “Dr House” type of medical detective is a fantasy.

[UpperWestside 6262]

Thank you @idigTexas for your post up above. You never know who you might help by posting your own journey dealing with anxiety. I hope that you feel better and better each and every single day going forward. I think @cactusflinthead would agree that this thread exists so we can learn from each other and share our feelings here without any worry of being judged. Fantastic contribution with that post. Everyone else as well, but I just wanted to highlight that message.

[Hermanator 7570]

On 2/28/2022 at 11:11 AM, idigTexas said:

Do not underestimate anxiety.  For the past two+ months, I've been dealing with an assortment of symptoms that had me seeing my PCP and multiple neurologists to diagnose the cause of what was thought to be some extreme form of neuropathy with other abnormal nerve behaviors.  

Severity varied from day-to-day, but during the worst flare ups, I had tingling and numbness to some extent from head to toe, chills, frequent urination, lightheadedness, twitching, unsteadiness while on my feet, hunger, nausea, tiredness, general malaise, and at the worst of times, suicidal thoughts (because who wants to live with all of that).  Exercise or even common household activities seemed to exacerbate my symptoms.  The only time I felt somewhat normal was while sleeping, and I probably spent at least 50% of my time in bed.  I had several blood tests, brain MRI, ultrasounds, and physical examinations.  Everything has been coming back as normal.  

While researching some meds that had been prescribed, I came to the conclusion that we were chasing the wrong cause, and started looking into anxiety.  Once I was able to plausibly associate all of my symptoms with anxiety, I immediately felt better.  I still have a few lingering symptoms that are obviously caused by poor posture and too much time on the PC, but I have experienced those before, and will address them with massage and PT.  

It blows my mind how debilitating anxiety can be.  Looking back, I can clearly see that I was having panic attacks caused by snowmageddon PTSD, COVID, work stuff, relationship drama, and a host of other "between the ears" baggage.  I intend to get some professional help with dealing with anxiety in general, but just recognizing it is a huge part of the battle. 

I'm more than a bit concerned that none of the professionals in my healthcare circle even suggested it.  If my sister hadn't mentioned it to me as something I might want to address at some point, who knows how long I would have gone down the wrong path, continuing a life with no quality whatsoever.

Don't live with constant doom and gloom thoughts.  It will eat you up eventually.   

Guess everyone's had a good March. 

PTSD anxiety can completely cripple you. I've become prone in my late 30s to anxiety attacks at random ass times. Pain in the chest. Feeling like I can't breathe right. Sharp Tingling on the back of the neck and shoulders. Have had to pull over while driving a few times and try to calm it down. I've gotten decent at getting it down but at first before I recognized what it was I thought I was having a stroke or heart attack.

The worst time was attempting to drive myself to the hospital and had to pull over on the side of the road because vision was getting blurry and I was losing feeling and use of my hands. Had to just lay on the sidewalk while my hands were seizing up and couldn't feel my legs. Passers by stopped and called 911 and last thing I remember was looking at the blue sunny sky while a paramedic hovered over me asking questions and beginning to work. I tried to answer but my jaw wouldn't move. So I assumed that was it and it was my last moments so just mentally accepted it and my vision went out like an old 1960s TV from the edges inward as I passed out. 

Woke up in the ER with the doc saying I had a severe anxiety attack and severe hyperventilation causing all that to happen. I never knew anxiety could do that but do now.