Depression, OCD, and whatever else ails you between the ears

[Reagan1k 3022]

Well, that's rough, but you can handle it.  Focus on the things you can control - your actions and reactions and just do the next right thing.

I know it sounds like therapy-speak but simple things produce positive results if repeated.

Remember the parable of the Chinese Farmer....I think I shared it with you before.  Now's a perfect time to meditate/ponder - whatever ....on that and look for ways to apply that message in your life.

You have the choice how you frame this moment in your life....look for the positives or opportunities (as you stated) and work from there.

 

[TwiceHorn 31416]

On 7/3/2018 at 3:58 PM, Reagan1k said:

Was listening to a recovery speaker tape and he told the fable of the Chinese Farmer- http://bromleymindfulness.org.uk/the-parable-of-the-chinese-farmer/

every time I’m faced with what I view as as setback or problem/defeat I try and remember this story.  Bad news-  maybe it is and maybe it isn’t -  that’s not for me to decide. 

Another speaker I really relate to is Sandy B. (Sandy Beach from AA circles). He talks about changing our mindset from viewing events or circumstances as problems and instead view as and call them situations -  takes some of the power out of it and recasts the issue.  

Takes some practice and some prayer or meditation, but that can really help.

TD-Texan-  what you have going on may or may not be a real setback it’s just a situation - keep fishing (as said above) and the right opportunity will present itself at the right time. 

What you are doing in therapy is great and it will help.  Keep doing the next right thing and take care of yourself mentally and physically.  The right thing is out there for the seeker. Godspeed! 

 

 

[TwiceHorn 31416]

Reagan dropping some wisdom in here.  I have said it before in another thread, but I often find it comforting to realize that others are going/have gone through similar tribulations to whatever is bugging me at any given moment.  A decent part of my condition is simply that I think I am far too unique for my own good.

[XYZ 2154]

2 hours ago, TwiceHorn said:

Reagan dropping some wisdom in here.  I have said it before in another thread, but I often find it comforting to realize that others are going/have gone through similar tribulations to whatever is bugging me at any given moment.  A decent part of my condition is simply that I think I am far too unique for my own good.

Did I already recommend the book “The subtle art of not giving a f*ck”? There’s a chapter titled “You are not special”. He talks about two kinds of narcissism. One is the type that I always associated with the term, which is the typical “I’m so awesome”, but then he says that the people who like to beat themselves up with the “I suck; I’m a waste of space, etc” are also narcissists. Anyway, I think the lesson in there is that however much you think you suck, there’s other people who suck more, or have worse circumstances.

[BearSchlong 8080]

I love that book.

[Tall Dark And Texan 29]

Thanks to everyone for the feedback, and for reminding me of the fable about the Chinese farmer. I thought about that at work yesterday, and while I was packing up my things after work.

I had another friend recommend that book to me as well. I'll try grab a copy when shit calms down.

I was able to move out in one day. She was surprised that I got out as quickly as I did. I asked her why should I stay when it was painful enough just being there? Saw her fighting back tears when I gave her my key back. Why would she cry? It was her idea to break up. I expected some cheap joke, or a Cersi Lannister smile, and got tears instead. I held it together though. I knew that I was at the start of something new when she shut that door.

I've been steadily unpacking, spent some time with some friends today, and I'm gonna see ChampKind tomorrow and eat that Butterfinger brisket of his. That will make going into work early on Monday a little less painful.

I just wanted to check in. Hopefully I didn't ramble. I'm safe, sober, and I'm not planning on running through the cholas to get through this breakup either. Vic and Zepol still have that area covered.

Sent from my SM-G900P using Tapatalk

[XYZ 2154]

Tall Dark:

Keep at it. You got this.

[relapse98 634]

At the last visit my therapist pointed out that I don't really have any close friends that I can confide anything in, and she's right. My closest friend is my wife, but I really need to branch out. I have a (what we've termed) superficial friend that I'm trying to get closer to. Good guy.

She also noted that I don't really have any 'me' hobbies. Apparently getting shitfaced drunk at the pool by myself and falling down doesn't count. We talked about what I like and generally outdoors it involves water, hiking or geocaching. So I'm trying to branch out and do some hiking meetups.

I also recently took on a project of my own. A guy here in town had a great FB and web page with all the local live music events. He became a grandfather last year, started doing genealogy stuff a lot and feels he just hasn't been putting in the work. I LOVED his page. It was exactly what you needed. And so I was sad when he said he was going to step away - there really is no other resource that ties things together like his does. So I thought about what it would take and started down that road. Created a database, a table for the venues, a table for the events. Loaded up the venues and found where they hide their events and started loading those in. I've almost duplicated what he was putting out but I think its quite manageable - I wrote a script that takes the date as the input and spits out each venue, event time and cost that I can c&p into a FB post and into the details on a google calendar entry. Its pretty badass and I've gotten some people started using it. Once the legwork is done of getting the data entered, it doesn't seem like it'd be that much to keep up with. I have a Bookmarks folder that I just click load and then look for any new events at any venue and then keep my ear out for anything new that comes up that I don't have. If anything, it provides me the data I would now be lacking and can hopefully provide the same for others. After I published it, I posted about how I liked his stuff, tagged his old page and he actually commented and thanked me and we're chatting about a couple of venues that I couldn't find info on (he apparently was the one that booked them). I'm pretty stoked about this project and hope it can channel my ADHD/OCD into something productive.

Edited August 22, 2018 by relapse98

[XYZ 2154]

For me, having a close friend that you can confide in is pretty difficult. Some friends you are very tight with, but somehow you just don’t share the nasty stuff. For example, I have a good friend who is a great guy, but if he asks me how I’m doing and I say “so-so”, he goes “why??!?”. It’s almost like it exhasperates him if I’m not doing “A-OK”, so I learned to just say “A-OK”. There are not many people with the fortitude to go into the pit with you and listen about the shit going on in your life and have empathy.

[TwiceHorn 31416]

2 minutes ago, XYZ said:

For me, having a close friend that you can confide in is pretty difficult. Some friends you are very tight with, but somehow you just don’t share the nasty stuff. For example, I have a good friend who is a great guy, but if he asks me how I’m doing and I say “so-so”, he goes “why??!?”. It’s almost like it exhasperates him if I’m not doing “A-OK”, so I learned to just say “A-OK”. There are not many people with the fortitude to go into the pit with you and listen about the shit going on in your life and have empathy.

I'll defer to your interpretation, but maybe he asks "why" because he's genuinely interested.  I will observe that now that most of my college buddies are shipping their kids off to school, they're getting to slow down a little bit and we are more able to connect in an "intimate" manner.  When I was going through my shit in my early 30s, most of them were consumed with their married lives and/or children, and none of us had the life experience to be particularly useful to each other in that way.

[52-80 19137]

On 8/17/2018 at 3:44 PM, Reagan1k said:

Remember the parable of the Chinese Farmer....I think I shared it with you before.

 

Maybe

[Parliament 14213]

Would you please repost?

[Reagan1k 3022]

31 minutes ago, Parliament said:

Would you please repost?

Quote

Once there was a Chinese farmer who worked his poor farm together with his son and their horse. When the horse ran off one day, neighbors came to say, “How unfortunate for you!” The farmer replied, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”

When the horse returned, followed by a herd of wild horses, the neighbors gathered around and exclaimed, “What good luck for you!” The farmer stayed calm and replied, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”

While trying to tame one of wild horses, the farmer’s son fell, and broke his leg. He had to rest up and couldn’t help with the farm chores. “How sad for you,” the neighbors cried. “Maybe yes, maybe no,” said the farmer.

Shortly thereafter, a neighboring army threatened the farmer’s village. All the young men in the village were drafted to fight the invaders. Many died. But the farmer’s son had been left out of the fighting because of his broken leg. People said to the farmer, “What a good thing your son couldn’t fight!” “Maybe yes, maybe no,” was all the farmer said.

 

[Reagan1k 3022]

When it was told to me it was told in the sense that all the seemingly bad things were loudly proclaimed to be "terrible" and all the seemingly good things were loudly proclaimed to be "wonderful" and the farmer's response was always "maybe it is [insert terrible/wonderful], and maybe it isn't".

Most often our lives and "happiness" are governed by our own perceptions (I like to re-read definitions once in a while to make sure I'm not polluting a meaning).

Perception - a way of regarding, understanding, or interpreting something; a mental impression.

If that filter is off or calibrated improperly, we live on a roller-coaster of emotion but one that often trends on a downward slope - Lower lows and lower highs.

Changing the way we perceive things can result in a peace and contentment that smooths out that ride.

[52-80 19137]

 

 

[troph 24773]

Grief is still getting me some of the time. But I upped my work out game - added circuit training to my tennis and cardio. Man is it awesome. Also added online Skype Spanish lessons when my kids are with their other mom. My body and brain are to tired to feel grief tonight. Not sure how long it will take to learn Spanish but two lessons in and I like the brain stretch. You boys find some hobbies or things to learn!

[youdunnf'dup 2147]

On 8/17/2018 at 7:36 PM, BearSchlong said:

I love that book.

 

On 8/17/2018 at 10:37 AM, XYZ said:

Did I already recommend the book “The subtle art of not giving a f*ck”? There’s a chapter titled “You are not special”. He talks about two kinds of narcissism. One is the type that I always associated with the term, which is the typical “I’m so awesome”, but then he says that the people who like to beat themselves up with the “I suck; I’m a waste of space, etc” are also narcissists. Anyway, I think the lesson in there is that however much you think you suck, there’s other people who suck more, or have worse circumstances.

I just finished this book, and my god. It hit home more than any other self help book ever has for me. I highly recommend it to anyone, even if you don’t feel like you need help. 

[relapse98 634]

My little music site thing is going gangbusters. Doing daily calendar postings on facebook, gaining followers (slower than I hope but Rome wasn't built in a day). Got the website up and it shows a weeks worth of the calendar in text format, plus has a google calendar you can link to. All of it is run by a db. The google calendar stuff is automagic now. I have a script that can add/delete the next 30 days worth of events from the db. The facebook stuff is manual for now, but that's cool. I also have started thinking ahead and doing a couple of scheduled posts on facebook when I know I'll be away from a computer on a trip, that's worked well. Its become a nice time sink for me.

[Tall Dark And Texan 29]

I just wanted to bump this thread and check in on everyone, and let those who care know that I'm doing alright. I'm living bunker life until I pay off my remaining student loan debt, which will happen before 2018 ends, if I don't encounter any unexpected expenses. The outside perspective might think I'm becoming a shut-in, dropping out of social situations, and suggest that I get back out there for a list of reasons, but the bunker has allowed me to sort out my finances, get back to playing my guitars, and watch sports all weekend long (at least the weekends I don't have to work). I'm still sober, still taking my medications, still on a monthly schedule with my therapist, still not letting work run me into the ground, and I'm now under 180 lbs. I don't want to dominate this thread, so I'll limit myself to monthly check-ins if that's okay with everyone.  

[TwiceHorn 31416]

On 8/23/2018 at 8:25 AM, 52-80 said:

 

 

I use this on my wife frequently.  She's a good sport about it and gets it.  Still can't help herself sometimes.

[cactusflinthead 27597]

This thread drifts down the feed rapidly after a post. It doesn't bother me when someone has something to get out of their head.

Even if it takes half a dozen tries

Edited September 30, 2018 by cactusflinthead

[TwiceHorn 31416]

On 8/23/2018 at 8:18 AM, Reagan1k said:

When it was told to me it was told in the sense that all the seemingly bad things were loudly proclaimed to be "terrible" and all the seemingly good things were loudly proclaimed to be "wonderful" and the farmer's response was always "maybe it is [insert terrible/wonderful], and maybe it isn't".

Most often our lives and "happiness" are governed by our own perceptions (I like to re-read definitions once in a while to make sure I'm not polluting a meaning).

Perception - a way of regarding, understanding, or interpreting something; a mental impression.

If that filter is off or calibrated improperly, we live on a roller-coaster of emotion but one that often trends on a downward slope - Lower lows and lower highs.

Changing the way we perceive things can result in a peace and contentment that smooths out that ride.

Yes yes.  And the corollary:  you don't really know how this is going to work out, because you don't run this shit.

[XYZ 2154]

32 minutes ago, Tall Dark And Texan said:

I just wanted to bump this thread and check in on everyone, and let those who care know that I'm doing alright. I'm living bunker life until I pay off my remaining student loan debt, which will happen before 2018 ends, if I don't encounter any unexpected expenses. The outside perspective might think I'm becoming a shut-in, dropping out of social situations, and suggest that I get back out there for a list of reasons, but the bunker has allowed me to sort out my finances, get back to playing my guitars, and watch sports all weekend long (at least the weekends I don't have to work). I'm still sober, still taking my medications, still on a monthly schedule with my therapist, still not letting work run me into the ground, and I'm now under 180 lbs. I don't want to dominate this thread, so I'll limit myself to monthly check-ins if that's okay with everyone.  

Whatever “bunker life” entails, if it helps you get rid of debt, then good for you for doing it. May I suggest trading some of the watching sports for walking?

[cactusflinthead 27597]

Yes,  it's been said repeatedly on here but it is worth saying again. Getting out of the bunker and into nature is a great way to reboot the brain. I can't recall where I saw the study of this phenomenon, but it works. Whether you are fishing, running/walking down the trails, gotta make the next hill, sitting in a blind at dawn, chasing butterflies on the flowers, the list of things to do out of the house that doesn't cost a dime is nearly endless. 

Well, golf, hunting, and fishing can get expensive. But you can keep it to a minimum. Cane pole and a worm on a string can be had for nothing. It's not about catching anything. It's being there. 

[troph 24773]

You have to move your body. It’s the single best thing you can do for your mental health. Feeling depressed? Exercise. It’s like magic. And the more in shape you are the better it works.

 

[ImGolfn 77]

Thats why i hate rain and winter.  If i can't be outside on the golf course and I'm stuck inside with my thoughts it becomes dangerous.  I have to keep moving or it becomes a very slippery slope for me to slide into 

[Zonahorn 8079]

So, I have ADHD. I was diagnosed when I was little (6 or 7 I think). My symptoms are both obvious and extremely severe. Early on my parents tried non-medication ways of treating my symptoms, but nothing worked, so I got put on Meds. At first we tried, and failed multiple drugs, and eventually we found that Adderall worked best, and I've been on it for the past years. Even though it has some shitty side effects, like shitting my brains out, or losing my appetite. But, I would rather deal with the side effects of being medicated vs the side effects of not being medicated. Also, Adderall is dirt cheap with my families insurance, its like $6, and everything else I tried was at least $200. And fuck paying $200 a month ineffective bullshit. Sorry for the rambling, I saw this thread and thought my issue would fit. I could also talk about my depression in high school I guess.

[cactusflinthead 27597]

It's really a catchall thread for mental health. It's origin was to make a spot to talk about this stuff. Depression happened to be the first one on the list.

And welcome. 

There are some regulars on here and those that drop by to vent and might not say anything else. I suppose there are lurkers. It definitely gets some views. It gets lost in the feed rapidly. But, it's there if you go looking for it. 

[Zonahorn 8079]

1 minute ago, cactusflinthead said:

It's really a catchall thread for mental health. It's origin was to make a spot to talk about this stuff. Depression happened to be the first one on the list.

And welcome. 

There are some regulars on here and those that drop by to vent and might not say anything else. I suppose there are lurkers. It definitely gets some views. It gets lost in the feed rapidly. But, it's there if you go looking for it. 

Cool, I'll probably use this thread to vent my frustration at my symptoms.

[XYZ 2154]

2 hours ago, Calihorn said:

So, I have ADHD. I was diagnosed when I was little (6 or 7 I think). My symptoms are both obvious and extremely severe. Early on my parents tried non-medication ways of treating my symptoms, but nothing worked, so I got put on Meds. At first we tried, and failed multiple drugs, and eventually we found that Adderall worked best, and I've been on it for the past years. Even though it has some shitty side effects, like shitting my brains out, or losing my appetite. But, I would rather deal with the side effects of being medicated vs the side effects of not being medicated. Also, Adderall is dirt cheap with my families insurance, its like $6, and everything else I tried was at least $200. And fuck paying $200 a month ineffective bullshit. Sorry for the rambling, I saw this thread and thought my issue would fit. I could also talk about my depression in high school I guess.

Is it OK to take aderall for years? It doesn’t create, what do they call it, “adaptation”, like when you start needing higher and higher doses to produce the same effect?

[Zonahorn 8079]

15 minutes ago, XYZ said:

Is it OK to take aderall for years? It doesn’t create, what do they call it, “adaptation”, like when you start needing higher and higher doses to produce the same effect?

Yeah, I haven't upped my dosage in 3 years and I've been fine. 

[XYZ 2154]

Has anybody taken CBD for anxiety? Does it work? How much of it do you have to take?

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

Has anybody taken CBD for anxiety? Does it work? How much of it do you have to take?

I am not an expert on such things, and everyone is different, but it may cause paranoia. Having said that, I doubt trying small dose would cause any problems.

[TwiceHorn 31416]

In my observation, medication is not the way to go with anxiety, counseling is, specifically cognitive behavioral therapy.  I have known a number of folks that insisted they had to have MJ for anxiety.  But the problem is, as Swayze notes, paranoia and increased anxiety are pretty well-documented side effects of long-term MJ usage.  CBD may be a different deal, but

Anxiety is a cognitive problem that is enhanced a bit by one's brain chemistry.  The known things (benzos:  Xanax, Valium, Librium, Klonopin) that are "effective" for anxiety slow you down, that is, they fuck you up, mildly.  Benzos are certainly no way to go unless your anxiety is EXTREMELY sporadic.  I have known people to become dependent on benzos prescribed for anxiety.  It is a really shitty withdrawal (literally and figuratively).

[troph 24773]

Struggling with this weather. Off to the gym haven’t worked out in almost a week. Haven’t played tennis in a week and that’s my go to. Forcing it tonight with some cardio and weight training. Y’all be good to yourself. Phone a friend if you’re hurting. Do something for you.

 

[troph 24773]

Weight training last night was bad ass and the feeling of personal power came back, did spin class early this morning and it feels great. Feeling the ability to climb and press on through a hard work out is so fantastic.

 

Get up and move fellas.

 

[XYZ 2154]

Yeah, weight training is all kinds of good.

[cactusflinthead 27597]

I have bad poems floating in my head, seething rage of politics

fear of the unknown future of an aged father and the young man I call a son now

maybes. I have to remember this parable of the farmer. 

 

All y'all hang in there. I am trying to do the same. 

[troph 24773]

Blue sky!!! We have blue sky!!! The sun! This is what it looks like!?!

[XYZ 2154]

Is that hot yellow circle in the sky “the sun”?

[troph 24773]

Shit I can’t find my sunglasses... last seen? End of August. HALP!

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

Diabeetus warning:

My son has a SATB2 gene mutation which has left him with a severe speech delay.  He didn't say "Mama" until he was 7 (he's 9 now). He's been working his whole damned life to make sounds other people can recognize as speech. And, like most boys on the autism spectrum, he's obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine.

Today, in speech therapy, he perfectly articulated "Thomas". Clear as a bell. (Most SATB2 kids never even come close to his level of speech. Little bugger is the hardest damned worker I know.)

[XYZ 2154]

But what does have to do with diabetes?

[cactusflinthead 27597]

29 minutes ago, XYZ said:

But what does have to do with diabetes?

In the shag/surly vernacular diabeetus=a story or picture so sweet that it will cause it. Spelling is due to the pronunciation by Wilford Brimley in a commercial concerning the actual disease.

[Mole 4328]

Diabetes causes autism I think. Or maybe vaccinations.

[BearSchlong 8080]

Diabeetus warning:
My son has a SATB2 gene mutation which has left him with a severe speech delay.  He didn't say "Mama" until he was 7 (he's 9 now). He's been working his whole damned life to make sounds other people can recognize as speech. And, like most boys on the autism spectrum, he's obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine.
Today, in speech therapy, he perfectly articulated "Thomas". Clear as a bell. (Most SATB2 kids never even come close to his level of speech. Little bugger is the hardest damned worker I know.)

Wow, thank you for sharing that with us. I had no idea. If I was in your spot I'd be proud too.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

21 hours ago, Mole said:

Diabetes causes autism I think. Or maybe vaccinations.

That shit drives me crazy in every support group we're in. We make sure other families are NOT anti-vaxxers before we let them bring their kids over.

[XYZ 2154]

23 hours ago, cactusflinthead said:

In the shag/surly vernacular diabeetus=a story or picture so sweet that it will cause it. Spelling is due to the pronunciation by Wilford Brimley in a commercial concerning the actual disease.

I did not know that. Thanks.

[cactusflinthead 27597]

y'know one thing I like about this thread. I don't think I have ever seen a neg in here. And If I do I'm not sure what I would do. There's not one of you that has ever posted in here that I would even in my wildest fevered dreams consider doing that in here. It's no holds barred elsewhere, but I have done everything I can to keep this space clean from internecine wars. 

I mean it when I say we are all in this together. I don't give a big rat's ass about your politics in here or where you went to school or even if you put beans in chili. 

everybody deserves a shot at redemption from the ghosts that haunt them 

never ever give up

 

edit: if troph hadn't given me a + for the definition I would have stayed over there flinging poo in CR. I know, It's a weakness or a strength depending on who you ask. Anyhow, I appreciate all you sumbitches and believe it or not I even find a few syllables to try to say in your favor when the spirit moves me. 

Edited November 1, 2018 by cactusflinthead

[XYZ 2154]

Yeah, this thread and the “I’m an alcoholic” thread are like off-limits for trolls, somehow. And thank god for that.