Depression, OCD, and whatever else ails you between the ears

[ROFL BOX 6649]

With the exception of the Snowvid we had, I dig Winter much more than the hot months - summertime is a killer for me.

[Aqua Buddha 14591]

Good on Megan Markle and Gabrielle Union admitting to depression and suicidal thoughts.  It lets people know it's OK not to be OK.

[UpperWestside 6163]

On 3/8/2021 at 4:09 PM, Aqua Buddha said:

Good on Megan Markle and Gabrielle Union admitting to depression and suicidal thoughts.  It lets people know it's OK not to be OK.

Slowly, but surely society is coming out from under the stigma attached to depression. So many of us have dealt with it for a time and I am sure many find it an ongoing battle, but it is nice to see people embraced when they feel depressed instead of feeling isolated and alone. 

[UpperWestside 6163]

On 3/8/2021 at 1:12 AM, ROFL BOX said:

With the exception of the Snowvid we had, I dig Winter much more than the hot months - summertime is a killer for me.

I love winter! I am trying to find somewhere cold to go in April or early May. Summer is fun, but I would rather be walking through waist deep snow.

[Parliament 14256]

I love winter! I am trying to find somewhere cold to go in April or early May.

If you wanna come to Grand Forks, North Dakota I have a sofa in the basement. GF is kinda boring (nttawwt) but you said you like it cold.

[UpperWestside 6163]

On 3/11/2021 at 11:30 AM, Parliament said:

 

 

If you wanna come to Grand Forks, North Dakota I have a sofa in the basement. GF is kinda boring (nttawwt) but you said you like it cold.
 

 

Thank you for that invite and I appreciate the kindness. If getting to there was a bit easier for me I would go because I like to experience different areas of the country and I have never been anywhere near there. You might get a random PM from me in the future though about stopping through there. I was looking at my training schedule and it appears it starts in May and runs through the end of July. I think we are given 10 days off in the middle of that and I am definitely going to get out of here for all 10 of those days and go explore somewhere I have not yet been to. 

[workswithseed 2103]

On 2/2/2021 at 8:19 PM, UpperWestside said:

I agree wholeheartedly. Often when I go to the store I ask the cashier who they are doing and I regularly get the auto-pilot answer of good.

Lol

I do that here and sometimes get the same answer and sometimes they're pretty honest. I think if you act disinterested all the time with people who probably don't want to be there, it just reinforces that thought when you could make thier day a bit better.

[workswithseed 2103]

On 3/7/2021 at 1:38 PM, Not a cat said:

I'm in the upper midwest and holy shit, SAD is a real thing.  This was the first week of good sunshine and the sun not setting at 4:30 and it's made an incredible difference.  I have no idea how people willingly handle this.  Just two more winters for me.

Troof, it's finally getting sunny here, and I'm getting as busy as can be at work. It's nice going home with sun again. I'm able to work on the garden (which I need to finish taking out the weeds.) 

I have never thought of practicing for your retirement, but damn does that sound like something I should do. 

[Bozo_Casanova 26447]

Checking in on y’all.
This is a pretty good time.  I took my senior skiing in Taos last week. I’m sleeping better since January, I’m getting a lot of sun, working out a bunch, eating right and not drinking much. Feels good, man. Depression is a chronic illness and you have to manage it like one. I I know in these situations we always want to feel bad about ourselves and act like martyrs but it’s like being on a malfunctioning airplane: you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself BEFORE you can take care of others. You fellas take care of yourselves.

[UpperWestside 6163]

18 hours ago, workswithseed said:

Lol

I do that here and sometimes get the same answer and sometimes they're pretty honest. I think if you act disinterested all the time with people who probably don't want to be there, it just reinforces that thought when you could make thier day a bit better.

I think that people are just used to others not really caring about them. The routine of meeting cashiers and just going on about your day is just part of it. I think it requires a reset in our way of thinking. A little act of kindness such as saying something nice or doing what you do in looking for an honest answer goes such a long way. Even in a city the size of NYC I see a lot of the same cashiers because the neighborhoods here become a sort of small town. It makes it easier to have a rapport with them or be able to ask how they are doing and get a truthful response. 

Basically we just all need to be better people and in turn it helps create a better society to live in. 

[UpperWestside 6163]

Recently I had told a cousin that I would give her a call and talk to her. She's 30 now and honestly I had not really spoke to her at any length for probably 15 years. She got married young just like her mother did and had kids, just like her mother did and then wound up seeing her personal life look almost exactly like her mother's personal life looked. She remarked that she never wanted to repeat her mom's mistakes, but she did almost to a T. Her mother was incredibly kind to me and almost everyone else she knew, but she had issues like all of us do.

We talked last night for about three hours. She had a meeting with CPS today and they said they are recommending that her children's father be given sole custody. I told her to prepare for that happening because of the choices she has made in her life. She has hit rock bottom and she is now taking on the challenge of sobriety while being isolated from her children and not having a mother to talk to either. She has two siblings and I suggested that she call them and try to forge a better relationship with them. I also told her that she is welcome to come to NYC for a bit and I would help get her started down the road of living a better life. She will also be doing some intensive outpatient therapy back in Waco whenever she leaves here. I think she will be flying in next week and staying for at least a week. I have quite a bit going on, all good things on my end with school and preparing for some things for my summer training, but I need to make time for a family member that is hurting and needs some positive direction.

I hope the rest of y'all are enjoying your day and that you are getting some beautiful weather in your neck of the woods.

Edited March 30, 2021 by UpperWestside

[cactusflinthead 27598]

4 hours ago, UpperWestside said:

Recently I had told a cousin that I would give her a call and talk to her. She's 30 now and honestly I had not really spoke to her at any length for probably 15 years. She got married young just like her mother did and had kids, just like her mother did and then wound up seeing her personal life look almost exactly like her mother's personal life looked. She remarked that she never wanted to repeat her mom's mistakes, but she did almost to a T. Her mother was incredibly kind to me and almost everyone else she knew, but she had issues like all of us do.

We talked last night for about three hours. She had a meeting with CPS today and they said they are recommending that her children's father be given sole custody. I told her to prepare for that happening because of the choices she has made in her life. She has hit rock bottom and she is now taking on the challenge of sobriety while being isolated from her children and not having a mother to talk to either. She has two siblings and I suggested that she call them and try to forge a better relationship with them. I also told her that she is welcome to come to NYC for a bit and I would help get her started down the road of living a better life. She will also be doing some intensive outpatient therapy back in Waco whenever she leaves here. I think she will be flying in next week and staying for at least a week. I have quite a bit going on, all good things on my end with school and preparing for some things for my summer training, but I need to make time for a family member that is hurting and needs some positive direction.

I hope the rest of y'all are enjoying your day and that you are getting some beautiful weather in your neck of the woods.

Watch your ass.

Edit.

Yeah, i better edit.

My first ex is in Longview at last check.

She doesn't have a pot to piss in. I can't help her. I tried. 

I don't know anything about her. But, I know enough about you on here that it concerns me you might get hurt.

Keep your wits.

 

Edited March 31, 2021 by cactusflinthead

[UpperWestside 6163]

27 minutes ago, cactusflinthead said:

Watch your ass.

Edit.

Yeah, i better edit.

My first ex is in Longview at last check.

She doesn't have a pot to piss in. I can't help her. I tried. 

I don't know anything about her. But, I know enough about you on here that it concerns me you might get hurt.

Keep your wits.

 

I understand the concern here and thank you for that. I won’t pay for her to fly here or back and I will not monetarily support her. She is going to have to figure all of that out on her own. She has a lot of fences to mend with people from what I gather talking to her younger sister. My hope is that when she goes back to Texas that she goes to live with her sister in San Antone and spends a year sorting through life. 

I do not believe she can be on her own anymore. I can’t save anyone, but I feel the least I can do is talk with her and try to show her what life is like when you have a purpose. She’s highly intelligent which is a good trait she shares in common with her mother so I know she is capable of better. Whether she makes the choice to do better though is one I cannot make for her. 
 

[XYZ 2154]

I lost the passion for my job. Don’t give a shit about helping my fucking company increase quarterly profits anymore. I’m thinking about just quitting and living off of my savings until I get to start drawing from SS. What’s keeping me (for now) is not the prospect of being poor but the prospect of being bored and aimless. I’m thinking of learning how to weld. Or buying an old car to fix. Always enjoyed turning wrenches.

[troph 24785]

4 minutes ago, XYZ said:

I lost the passion for my job. Don’t give a shit about helping my fucking company increase quarterly profits anymore. I’m thinking about just quitting and living off of my savings until I get to start drawing from SS. What’s keeping me (for now) is not the prospect of being poor but the prospect of being bored and aimless. I’m thinking of learning how to weld. Or buying an old car to fix. Always enjoyed turning wrenches.

With you in this. The only thing I get excited about is hobbies right now.  We’ve added the old car fixer upper to the list too. Trying to tackle sailing right now. But dreams of a restored car tumble through my head constantly. I’d like to learn the guitar too.  The list keeps growing and fire in the belly for work is all but gone.

[Message Board User 12395]

6 hours ago, XYZ said:

I lost the passion for my job. Don’t give a shit about helping my fucking company increase quarterly profits anymore. I’m thinking about just quitting and living off of my savings until I get to start drawing from SS. What’s keeping me (for now) is not the prospect of being poor but the prospect of being bored and aimless. I’m thinking of learning how to weld. Or buying an old car to fix. Always enjoyed turning wrenches.

Anything in particular happen at your job to make you feel this way?

[XYZ 2154]

6 hours ago, Message Board User said:

Anything in particular happen at your job to make you feel this way?

I have gotten progressively more tired of the corporate world, tired of living among more and more people, tired of bullshit. I guess this covid “social distancing” thing has pushed my apathy past a line. Also I feel old. I’m almost 50 and my prostate requires me to take medication, and I will probably need hip joint replacement surgery. I think that I have 10, maybe 15 good years left (assuming that my prostate is just enlarged and not cancer, which I don’t know yet, and assuming that hip surgery allows me to walk more than a few miles without being in pain), and I don’t feel inclined to dedicate those years to a fucking job.

[troph 24785]

Any thing you like that you could parlay into a small business?  I don’t know your circumstance and any fallout but nothing inherently wrong bailing on corporate bullshit and checking out.  Make a plan and do it if your heart can’t stand to keep doing it. 

[XYZ 2154]

I guess by the end of this summer I will know. I bought a house near Taos and I plan to spend all summer there, “working” remotely. After that it will be time to make decisions.

[Message Board User 12395]

17 hours ago, XYZ said:

I have gotten progressively more tired of the corporate world, tired of living among more and more people, tired of bullshit. I guess this covid “social distancing” thing has pushed my apathy past a line. Also I feel old. I’m almost 50 and my prostate requires me to take medication, and I will probably need hip joint replacement surgery. I think that I have 10, maybe 15 good years left (assuming that my prostate is just enlarged and not cancer, which I don’t know yet, and assuming that hip surgery allows me to walk more than a few miles without being in pain), and I don’t feel inclined to dedicate those years to a fucking job.

Sounds rough and I'm not sure I have any other advice than what troph wrote.  But do try to find something (whether that's at work or a hobby or family) that gives your life meaning and something you can look forward to.

If it's any consolation, there are probably quite a few individuals at your any work site struggling with burnout and fatigue - in those cases, support (whether it's from co-workers, friends, or family) is essential.  Hopefully you can find some connection in our increasingly virtual world.

As for the health issues, good luck and try to stay positive.  

[cactusflinthead 27598]

I have read her first book, Let's Pretend this Never Happened. It's hilarious. It's also a gut punch at times. 

[hookemATL 11719]

Any thoughts/ideas on working for non-profits/organizations that are dedicated to charitable causes/the environment/etc.?  In the same vein as XYZ, I have been pushed past my limit with my tolerance for my work (experiential marketing), and I flat out despise it.  Rock/hard place situation for the past year and certain actions by my employer have tarnished what I originally thought was a decent place where I could make some headway.

Ive tried to focus in on doing something that I could actually pull some satisfaction/positivity from.  Contributing to the community/worthwhile causes has been a part of my life since I started up with Cub Scouts as a young kid (Eagle Scout 1999 whatwhat).  The peace of mind I achieve when collaborating with others to do something undoubtedly positive for individuals/community/etc. is something I would like to chase professionally at this point but I am starting kind of at square one.

Any input/suggestions are welcome.  If I continue to go down this death spiral at my current job, I will mentally implode and prolly end up motherfucking my manager and/or a client or two.

[BearSchlong 8087]

My advice is to look at your work like a financial transaction.  Get boundaries between your avocation and vocation, and if the two coincide that's a bonus.  At the end of the day, it's your time and energy in exchange for their paycheck.  And if you're in a financial situation to go chase your passion project, get after it.

Never forget that you can vote with your feet.

I serve on the executive board of a non-profit as treasurer, and it's really rewarding.  Find a cause, find an organization, and carve out some time to donate.

But unless you own your own business or have a ton of equity it's always hard to find pure satisfaction in the work.

Honestly I'm a little skeptical of many non-profits because I believe many bad actors are using causes as an opportunity to grift, but that's probably just me being jaded.

Had my 6 months conversation with my Psychiatrist yesterday, she was lamenting the fact that the pandemic essentially created more demand than ever for mental health services while supply continues to shrink - several local doctors had to come out of retirement and still her calendar is 100% booked for the next 5 months and she's cash basis/doesn't take insurance.

Edited April 15, 2021 by BearSchlong

[hookemATL 11719]

Thanks bear, I appreciate the input. 

I guess I am just feeling a bit lost and supremely challenged by circumstance. There were certain perks that my current gig provided that were really enjoyable, but the pandemic has shredded all those opportunities and thrust me into a virtual events world that is about as enjoyable as ziptying my nutsack.

tbh I would be so happy doing an outdoor job busting my ass all day but it’s hard to do that and support a family (6 yo and a 2 month old).   I understand sucking it up to provide, and I will continue to do so.
 

But I’m gonna keep looking for something that can provide me with some measure of fulfillment/peace of mind.

If all else fails I can always sell my sweet ass. Best $5 handjob in town. 

[UpperWestside 6163]

I’m on my way from East Harlem to get my 2nd vaccine shot this morning down in Queens Village and the bus I connect to in Queens has a person on it whose mind is clearly gone. When it comes to our mental health this is one of the most disappointing things I encounter here. They were having a stream of consciousness conversation about nothing. It was like a Seinfeld episode of every line was a random one pulled from another episode that had nothing to do with the sentence before it.
 

I see that and just cannot help but wonder how that person’s mind made it to that point and why are they not somewhere receiving help? We have way too many folks who slip through the cracks of society when it comes to mental health issues. We have got to do better as a country to take one of the biggest issues affecting our society head-on. Not caring enough to help those who are all but begging for a lifeline cannot be what we do anymore.

Edited April 21, 2021 by UpperWestside

[Lidig8r 1871]

On 4/15/2021 at 1:44 PM, BearSchlong said:

 

Had my 6 months conversation with my Psychiatrist yesterday, she was lamenting the fact that the pandemic essentially created more demand than ever for mental health services while supply continues to shrink - several local doctors had to come out of retirement and still her calendar is 100% booked for the next 5 months and she's cash basis/doesn't take insurance.

Many in the mental health field are calling mental health issues the next pandemic which has already arrived. Waiting lists for many of the eating disorder residential treatment centers are months long. And we are discovering that a number of the mental health providers are so caught up in their own issues that the care they try to give can be dubious at best. And, it's not going to improve any time soon.

Yes, some additional funding to the NIMH was provided in the Covid bills, but not nearly enough. And most of the national mental health organizations dropped the ball or did not have legislative ties such that funding for their organizations could have been attached as a rider to these bills.

But, not to have all gloom and doom ... we are seeing some stories of incredible resiliency from unexpected places and persons.

[BBQ2Bayou 807]

I'm going to start seeing a therapist of some sort, but I'm not sure what I should be looking for and there are a lot of different kinds of therapists.  Mid level anxiety and depression, relationship problems, reacting problems and recovering alcoholic. I'm on citalapram now for anxiety and it helps, but I think I need to start seeing someone and I'm not sure which direction to go that would help best. Psychiatry, psychology, other types, that sort of thing. 

[Lidig8r 1871]

2 hours ago, BBQ2Bayou said:

I'm going to start seeing a therapist of some sort, but I'm not sure what I should be looking for and there are a lot of different kinds of therapists.  Mid level anxiety and depression, relationship problems, reacting problems and recovering alcoholic. I'm on citalapram now for anxiety and it helps, but I think I need to start seeing someone and I'm not sure which direction to go that would help best. Psychiatry, psychology, other types, that sort of thing. 

First, keep in mind that YOU are interviewing them. You are the employer. They will be working for you. (Yes, I know that seems strange since you are paying for their services) THEY need to earn your trust. And, if they don't answer all of the questions you have to your satisfaction, look elsewhere!

Here are some websites that could help you with questions:

https://medcircle.com/articles/questions-to-ask-a-new-therapist/

https://www.health.harvard.edu/depression/10-questions-to-ask-when-choosing-a-therapist

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/questions-therapist-first-session_l_5d165604e4b082e55368cc5f

When I started seeing a therapist (really a psychiatrist) last year, I grilled him. One question I asked which helped me was, "I have been practicing law for 37 years. If a run of the mill, small case comes in, I am going to turn it away. There is no challenge there, I will get bored and not do my best work. If you believe you will not be challenged by me, I need to know. You have been doing your work a long time and have probably heard everything. So, I need to know what about our relationship you believe will challenge you."

As for finding a therapist, there a number of websites. You can start with this one though:

https://www.findatherapist.com/search/

goodtherapy.org is also an ok place to start looking.

[UpperWestside 6163]

2 hours ago, BBQ2Bayou said:

I'm going to start seeing a therapist of some sort, but I'm not sure what I should be looking for and there are a lot of different kinds of therapists.  Mid level anxiety and depression, relationship problems, reacting problems and recovering alcoholic. I'm on citalapram now for anxiety and it helps, but I think I need to start seeing someone and I'm not sure which direction to go that would help best. Psychiatry, psychology, other types, that sort of thing. 

I think you perhaps should think about looking around and see which therapist connects with you. I have been blessed to see a therapist who has over three decades of experience for almost a year now. He works with a variety of folks and his understanding of my life and how autism fits in is invaluable. There is nothing I can tell him that his adult son that is autistic has not encountered.

Be patient and you will know when you have the right person. There will be a connection and that makes a world of difference in a therapist being able to guide you to a better and more purpose-filled existence.

[UpperWestside 6163]

Today is ten years since my father passed away. I have that same feeling today that I did in the moment I heard my mom tell me on her third and final call of the evening to me to not go to Scott & White and just come home to my hometown. I remember a friend texting me a joke shortly after that. God knows what you need in certain moments. A laugh was good to have after a deflating gut punch. Another friend made me laugh some in the hospital when I called him because I was trying to process seeing my dad there in the bed. I did not really know what to do because the room was full with family and my younger brother was pretty upset. I think if my dad knew I have made my home in New York he would probably not believe it, but he would enjoy the stories I’d be able to share with him living in East Harlem.
 

I texted my brother earlier to tell him how proud I think dad would be of him 10 years later. He would have loved my niece that is two years old and thinks she is in charge already. My brother started his own business last year and my dad would have grumbled and said not to, but later he would have told our mom he was proud of him and that he would be successful.  My brother has remodeled and repaired the house my dad built that we grew up in. My old room is now the one my niece will grow up in and she’ll have 15 acres of land to roam on just like we did as kids. 
 

My dad was not a homebuilder, but his ability to learn was amazing. He taught himself English and three years after coming here to his new home was sent off to Vietnam to work in the motor pool because of how exceptionally good he was at repairing vehicles. He received his citizenship over there and a Bronze Star that he never talked about or how he got it. He was a mechanic by trade and worked on Mercedes starting at age nine in his small hometown of Eschwege in Germany. He bought one of those yellow DIY books and built a house with it. My mom still has the book. He built on the house when he had the money to do so and we moved in three days before Christmas when I was four years old. I am very glad my brother is there to take care of everything now. He has our dad’s ingenuity and is really an amazing dad to my niece. It’s beautiful watching them interact and she’s definitely a daddy’s girl. Whatever he is doing she wants in on no matter what it is.
 

If you have the chance to do so today call your mom or dad and just tell them you love them or tell them thank you for everything they have done in your life. The smallest words mean the most at times. 

Edited April 29, 2021 by UpperWestside

[Reagan1k 3024]

On 4/27/2021 at 12:06 PM, BBQ2Bayou said:

I'm going to start seeing a therapist of some sort, but I'm not sure what I should be looking for and there are a lot of different kinds of therapists.  Mid level anxiety and depression, relationship problems, reacting problems and recovering alcoholic. I'm on citalapram now for anxiety and it helps, but I think I need to start seeing someone and I'm not sure which direction to go that would help best. Psychiatry, psychology, other types, that sort of thing. 

Whatever you do- tell the gut level truth and don’t mince words.  They can only work with the clay you put in the wheel. We are all broken people in a broken world and they know it.  Allow them the chance to do the job for which you are paying.  Signed-  wasted $1000s trying to impress professionals and “win” therapy. 

[Sandman 3403]

I'm letting things add up and weigh on me. Why? I KNOW it doesn't have to be like this.

I am allowing my job to affect my peace of mind. I thought I was over this shit for a few years, I don't know why I'm all of the sudden falling into this trap that I made for myself. I want to let shit roll of my back but I can't. I was doing so well with that, too. 

My brother-in law's sudden passing in January is still heavy on my mind. It's making me think back to my mother's sudden passing, 14 years ago. I spent a week in the hospital last fall and now, every time I have an ache or pain, I just assume that my time is up, just like Mom and BIL. WTF?

I just feel overwhelmed, I don't even know how to have fun anymore, it seems. I sold my project car last week, I was pretty much done with it and it was just sitting there in the driveway. Now I want something else but I can't find what I want, or I find something way out of my budget and I just want to give up and never bother trying to do anything. My poor wife tries to be supportive but I know she's at a loss. I just want to run down the street as fast as I can, yelling like a viking berserker. I'm angry and scared. I don't know why.

 

[ROFL BOX 6649]

@Sandman, what was your project car?  Have you talked about it / posted pics in the "Classic Car" thread?  Talked about it here?

Also, where do you live (what town)?

[XYZ 2154]

16 hours ago, Sandman said:

I don't even know how to have fun anymore, it seems.

I have the same predicament. Life has kind of kicked my ass over the past three years, and it’s not that my situation sucks (it doesn’t currently), but I’ve lost the little amount of “funness” that I used to have. Like when I see people getting drunk in movies and doing crazy shit, or people laughing or a parent having a great time with his child...all that is foreign to me. I think I have PTSD from parenting, but I don’t know what to do about it.

[Sandman 3403]

17 hours ago, ROFL BOX said:

@Sandman, what was your project car?  Have you talked about it / posted pics in the "Classic Car" thread?  Talked about it here?

Also, where do you live (what town)?

Ha, it was a '94 Miata. A neat little car but nothing I'd post pics of in that thread. My wife just got a '20 Mustang convertible, so the Miata became redundant. Why have hamburger when you can have steak, right? I don't miss it at all, I had it for 2.5 years and I sold it for twice what I paid. Thanks, Covid, I guess. And I'm in the OKC burbs, condolences accepted.

As usual, I feel a bit better after letting of some steam in here. Thanks to everyone who take part in this thread, you guys are the shit.

[Parliament 14256]

Put an LS in that bad boy.  Do it.

[cactusflinthead 27598]

All y'all gettin rep

 

[UpperWestside 6163]

3 hours ago, cactusflinthead said:

All y'all gettin rep

 

I really enjoy the videos he puts together so seeing him do this is sad, but really important at the same time. He definitely helped some folks out by sharing that and making himself vulnerable. This is progress and I hope he is able to find some peace soon.

[Neonmoon 38129]

Really well made. Good information. Check it out 

 

[Message Board User 12395]

Writer for NY Magazine and Huff Post disclosed passive suicidal ideation this past week - I wonder how many people out there feel this way...

 

[Bogeywon 2519]

1 hour ago, Message Board User said:

Writer for NY Magazine and Huff Post disclosed passive suicidal ideation this past week - I wonder how many people out there feel this way...

 

This is hard to type but I have thoughts like this but I immediately think of my wife and kids with out me and it makes me snap out of it I guess or fight the ideas in my head. My thoughts are darker. I get scared. I won’t go into detail but I get it

[LABEVO 928]

13 hours ago, Bogeywon said:

This is hard to type but I have thoughts like this but I immediately think of my wife and kids with out me and it makes me snap out of it I guess or fight the ideas in my head. My thoughts are darker. I get scared. I won’t go into detail but I get it

1234

i think of all the people that rely on me and how i would be letting them down. i wonder if i didn't have that responsibility then what would i do. 

[ROFL BOX 6649]

Threads like the Yashar Ali posts makes me want Shag to have a "nods head" which is a +1, not really a "Yes, I like it" but more of a "Nods head in subtle agreement" thing.

[ROFL BOX 6649]

I'm in a pinch on a project - the gatekeeper to this one, his GF is the customer (not his house).  I've known this guy for well over a decade; a great guy & a contractor.  Legitimately the "give you the shirt off his back" kinda fellow.

But for some reason, he is being a kind of jerk on this job.  It's a lucrative roof project & when I went out to inspect awhile ago, another roof guy shows up to the same exact house & yes, the name is correct on who sent him.  I am trying to figure out what the angle here is - I can't waive a deductible, but we will definitely do a "build back better" for things like repairing the chimney where it's rotten (not a covered peril, not insurance's responsibility to fix this, so I'll be taking care of that @ my own expense, etc) but I can't figure out what his angle is here.  It has me stuck (like I have been on a lot of other projects) to where I want to spend some $$ on getting a professional "Xactimate" adjustment (estimate, really) written for this job, but @ the same time I don't want to spend $$ I won't get back if the job goes to someone else.

The location is off Shoal Creek - hail came through there back in early April.

 

I'm trying to figure out what his angle is without directly saying "Dude, why are you being a jerk here?  Just give me the project & quit trying to squeeze something out of me without actually telling me what it is you want."

Edited June 1, 2021 by ROFL BOX
bleh

[Bogeywon 2519]

4 hours ago, LABEVO said:

1234

i think of all the people that rely on me and how i would be letting them down. i wonder if i didn't have that responsibility then what would i do. 

I know you don’t know me but you matter to a lot of people wether they tell you or not. You always matter

[troph 24785]

here's the thing about passive suicidal ideation - I'm pretty sure it's as normal as eating and sleeping.  life is heavy, it always has been, only recently have we been able to achieve enough to even have happiness (whatever that is) as a possibility or a goal.  It use to be survival, then satisfaction with work well done, now it's self-actualization and happiness and all of that.  I think that creates a tremendous burden on our psyche.  Either way, doesn't matter, life is hard work and we get squeezed all the time and just being gone has it's appeal.  The problem is no one wants to mention it, no one wants to talk about it, everyone feels shame about it.  The promise we have to make ourselves is to get help if the passive thought moves to active planning.

[MissingInAction 25045]

If anyone is looking for something thankless yet rewarding the state is desperate for case workers and foster families. 

 

[ROFL BOX 6649]

2 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

If anyone is looking for something thankless yet rewarding the state is desperate for case workers and foster families. 

 

Pays just enough so you can't claim unemployment but not enough to actually pay off all your bills, right?

[MissingInAction 25045]

18 minutes ago, ROFL BOX said:

Pays just enough so you can't claim unemployment but not enough to actually pay off all your bills, right?

Thats what I hear.

[BearSchlong 8087]

3 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

If anyone is looking for something thankless yet rewarding the state is desperate for case workers and foster families. 

 

The Commissioner of DFPS sent me a thank you card "for the support you provide to your loved one."  That's a good indicator, when they send thank you cards to worker's spouses.  They are getting better about appreciating the workers too.

My wife's been with CPS for 15 years and is now on the heightened monitoring side of the foster care system now that the federal courts have held Texas in contempt and demanded that shit get fixed.  @MissingInActionspeaks the truth.  Texas is weeding out bad actors and they need to be replaced by good people.

The number of CWOPs (Child WithOut Placements) is staggering, and getting worse.

The rewarding thing is about twice a year some random mom with kids in tow will walk up to my wife and hug her neck and burst into tears and say thank you.

Legally I can't know the reason, but it's easy to guess.

Edited June 4, 2021 by BearSchlong