Do you have friends who still heavily rely on their parents' money?

[Zepol87 9185]

Yea man I can't imagine how  grandparents helping out with education in any form would be viewed negatively at all. 

[TwiceHorn 31457]

On 12/22/2022 at 7:46 AM, burntorangebongos said:

I have a very good friend I met in college. She graduated and got a good job and worked hard. She had a wealthy mom and stepdad but if they helped her out, they didn't do it often. She married a guy with a good job and together, they built their life and had 2 kids and were doing fine. They may have struggled here or there but they got through it. Everything was going well and she enjoyed visits from her mom who loved visiting her grand kids. Then the mom got sick with cancer, and she fought but she died in her early 60s. My friend was her only child, so she inherited everything from her mom. 

For about 3 years, you could feel her sadness at losing her mother. It was really hard on her, and I felt so bad for her. No amount of money can replace the love and concern she got to have from her mom and she felt robbed by the world to lose her before her mom got to see her kids get married and to just enjoy being with them more. She finally came out of her sadness and started to enjoy the inheritance. She travels a lot and got a big, nice home.  I don't think she'll ever have to worry about money.

I got to have my mother in my life about 25 years more than she did and I know she would have traded with me in a heartbeat to have her mother longer than to have all that money. Well maybe at least get half of it and more time. haha

Hopefully, these assholes syphoning off their parents are giving them joy, good memories and lots of love. 

 

 

To a pretty real extent, you "earn" an inheritance, assuming you have normal family relations and mutual support.  And, if what you inherited was scrimped and saved and accumulated by sound decisions, sacrifices, and life choices, it becomes a real monument to your parents.

[Spaulding Smails 1552]

Thirded.  529 is the way to go.

My mom grew up pretty damn poor.  Not homeless by any stretch, but my maternal grandparents never owned a home and always lived paycheck to paycheck.  My grandfather passed when I was 16.  No life insurance and no savings.  My grandmother continued working her hourly job well into her mid 70s and lived in a modest, rented duplex.

In 2007, I got a call from my mom asking if I knew any attorneys familiar with oil and gas leases.  Come to find out, my grandmother had taken care of her elderly aunt and uncle before they passed in the mid-80s.  They had a small ranch in Webb County that they sold in the 70s, but retained mineral rights.  They didn't have any kids, so they willed it to my grandmother in full.  She had honestly forgotten about it until Sanchez Oil & Gas came calling.  Long story short, my grandmother started receiving some pretty decent checks very late in life.  The weren't Jed Clampett style, but they were enough for her to finally retire and move into a comfortable retirement home.  

Up until a few years ago, she hasn't offered anything nor have I asked.  When she approached me about doing something nice for our kids a few years ago, I told her how thankful I was and asked that she contribute to their 529s.  She was ecstatic, we were appreciative, and I don't feel any remorse or obligation.

[dcbc 14480]

1 hour ago, Spaulding Smails said:

Up until a few years ago, she hasn't offered anything nor have I asked. 

 

 

Username, avatar, etc.

Edited December 24, 2022 by dcbc

[Nice Guy Eddie 13512]

This topic has hit a nerve with some that have accepted money from their family when the title is about people who RELY HEAVILY on said money.

If you need your parents or grandparents to make ends meet them there’s a problem. I’ve known people who effectively present their parents with a bill monthly or semi regularly. “I spent more than usual this month, so can you send 5 in stead of $3,000?  Actually 6 would really be the best and we can get back to normal next month.”

the worst mooch is the one that spends the money first and then asks/expects family members to help them back to even. Someone earlier wrote about a family members asking for help for an upcoming Disney trip. That’s better than expecting help afterwards which I’ve experienced.

 

[dcbc 14480]

I think the real issue is OP's and others' neighbors and friends discussing their finances and associated family business with others.  You got family money?  Fine.  Don't ever talk about that shit outside the family.  Did these people learn nothing from the Godfather?

Edited December 25, 2022 by dcbc

[Slacks 6819]

I only knowingly know one person whose parents have enough money for this to even be a consideration.

[Js1 85320]

11 minutes ago, dcbc said:

I think the real issue is OP's and others' neighbors and friends discussing their finances and associated family business with others.  You got family money?  Fine.  Don't ever talk about that shit outside the family.  Did this people learn nothing from the Godfather?

Money talks. Wealth whispers 

[Jersey Man10 3528]

I still live with my folks but take care of my own expenses and pay them rent. We don’t even have the same phone plan. I pay for our internet and steaming services. But then again it’s different for Mexican families.

[Sbbruin 21850]

On 12/23/2022 at 11:11 AM, Brisketexan said:

And one thing my wife and I are doing is paying for our kids’ education, 100%. We think that one of the greatest gifts we can give them is to put them in a position to start their adult lives debt-free. We’re fortunate to be able to do so. And that understand that and are grateful.

 

There 5 of us kids growing up in my house, and my parents slaved to send all of us to good (great) private schools after public elementary, and all 5 college tuition, room and board.  Fortunately 4 of the 5 were UC’s, so tuition was negligible.  And I was lucky enough to get a graduate scholarship to biz school, so he got that break.  But I made the commitment the day my first was born that I will pay for the best education I can and make sure they both graduate college debt free.  But with the boy studying in London through Northeastern University, I am definitely getting put to the test right now.

[CHIEF 5082]

I am an only child, and my son is an only child.

My father was the fourth child of ten from a poor sharecropper family. My paternal grandmother never knew my name, I was just Melvin's boy. His older siblings got married and moved away as soon as they were old enough. His older brother was always "sickly", so he was the one that was "just right" for all of the heavy labor. Not only did he do the majority of the work on the farm, but his mom farmed him out, for money he never saw, to the neighbors to do all of the work on their farms as well. He told me he remembered having to get up early to turn over rows of peanuts to dry in the sun before going to elementary school. He was definitely a self made man. He sat for days on end at the Santa Fe Railroad shops, in Cleburne, until the shop superintendent finally gave him an interview and job to get him out of his office. He was the most persistent person I have ever known. He worked the day shift for eight hours and then the night shift as a watchman until 11pm. I only saw him on weekends.

My mother was the oldest of three, her Dad was a bus driver. They later built a fishing resort on Lake Whitney, in the early 50's. After selling the resort, my grandfather did really well in real estate. So well, that my mother got her real estate license in 1969. 

In 1972, my parents bought 11 acres and built a home outside of Cleburne for about $38k, both grandparents were distraught over how their kids were gonna afford the $249/month mortgage. This was a time of hyperinflation, they sold it in 1977 for $75k, and bought 118 acres on the Brazos river for $66k, we bought a used trailer house for $4500, and moved in. This was the hot summer of 1980, and the crops were dismal, to say the least. My parents used my savings account for my Christmas that year.  The next year was much better. My  dad decided to have a stock tank built, the dozer driver started digging, but said there was so much pea gravel that the tank would never hold water. Dad contacted El Paso sand and gravel, and they did some core samples, the pea gravel went as far as their 80 foot corer could drill. So far, he had about $16k in the property. They offered to pay him by the ton upon removal, he said he would take 25% of that money as a one time payment to not have to deal with the trucks and dust. They agreed upon a valuation of that 25% at $500k. Dad did a 1031, and we ended up with a 420 acre ranch with a 4500 sq/ft. mansion in Bosque County, free and clear, when he was 33 years old. Hwy 67 from Midlothian to Dallas is paved with that pea gravel.

He had quit his job at the railroad, and with some of the extra money, he had gotten into the oil business, everything was going well until the bottom fell out in 1984-85. Being a man of integrity, he refused to go into bankruptcy and pay everything back. We sold the ranch, cows, everything, and moved into a rented fourplex in a small town. Mom went to work at Farm Bureau in Waco, and Dad worked as a salesman at a solar plant in Waco. Long John Silvers was a splurge, if we wanted to eat out. 

Through all of this, I never once felt like my parents didn't have me as their number one priority. They always told me they loved me, and I was the best thing to ever happen to them. Not going to college was never an option for me, my parents came from nothing, and they damn sure didn't want that for me. I had gone to college in Colorado, so I could go skiing on most days. This put them in a financial bind, I knew this, so I suggested a different, cheaper plan. I came back home, and rode to MCC in Waco, with one of my best friends for the next two years. Then, finished at Tarleton, so I could commute to school. I worked as an aircraft mechanic while attending Tarleton. I would schedule to go to school only MWF, or Tu/Th so I could work a full 10 hours on my days off and on Saturdays, and sometimes Sundays. My parents paid for my school, roof, food, insurance. I paid for everything else.

While at Tarleton, I met the love of my life, she was from Cedar Park. I was a senior, she was a freshman. At the end of the year, she said she was moving back to Cedar Park, and going to ACC. Her parents had very modest means, and she had an older entitled brother, and an older dysfunctional sister that was bleeding them dry. My best friend, the one I rode with tho MCC, was living in Round Rock, and had been suggesting I move down and share an apartment with him for some time. I said fuck it, moved down and worked in a Physical Therapy clinic in Westlake. After a semester at ACC, my wife dropped out, to work a full time state job at the Texas Water Development Board. We got married, and moved into an apartment off of 360, bought a new car, ate out, and went to bars all the time. Basically lived off of credit cards. Her mom and dad were always strapped, because anytime one of her siblings needed money, they only thought it was fair to give the same amount to the others. I had a sit down talk with the FIL and told him don't worry about being fair, just worry about what's right. I was an only child, and if we needed help, my family would take care of us.

My parents were desperate for a grandchild. When we would go stay the weekend with them, my father would be cheerleading outside our bedroom door. I finally told them we were waiting until we could get a house before having kids. We had tons of credit card bills, and a huge car payment. Somehow my mom had squirreled away enough money to make that all go away. She insisted and paid off $37k in debt for us. We bought a house, had CHIEF Jr. but neither of us made enough to really make ends meet, so credit cards continued to pile up. We sold that house after five years and made a pretty good profit. Enough to pay off our outstanding debt. My wife, very computer savvy, had gotten a job at the General Services Commission, and doubled her salary. We were gonna build a home, so we moved in with her parents. I had enough after four months, bailed on the contract ($6500), and decided to buy, but I didn't have 20% for the down payment. Once more Mom to the rescue.

That all took place around 2002-2003. Mom had moved up to be the Field Editor at Farm Bureau, the parents had bought a nice house in Waco, then the Barnett Shale took off. We know everyone in Johnson County, if we don't know you, we are kin to you. Since my Dad had been in the oil business, everyone was calling him all hours of the day and night about the contracts they were receiving on their mineral rights. Mom told him he needs to either step into the game, or quit taking calls. Dad and a partner opened a leasing office in Cleburne. No one in Johnson county had ever dealt with oil and gas contracts, they were receiving the standard Form 51 contracts. Dad and an oil and gas attorney got together and wrote up a contract. It was sufficiently good enough that Chesapeake, Devon, and EOG would take it. He had me quit my 8-5 job and come work for him. I worked for two years as a lessor, landman,  and office clerk, separated from my wife and son to make this work. My dad and his partner made millions, leased 100k acres for Chesapeake. He was paying me $60k, BUT, at the end of 18 months, he stated how much he would like my wife and son, up here, close by. I told him I would have to save up more money to do it. He told me to go find a lot, build what you want, and your Mom and I will pay for it, when you sell your house in Cedar Park, you can pay it back.

They lived in Pecan Plantation, in Granbury. I was going to move to Glen Rose, but couldn't find a nice neighborhood that didn't have a handful of rundown houses around, so Pecan Plantation it was. Found my lot, bought it for $55k, the folks stroked a check. Found my house plans, online, after looking at plans for three months about four hours each night, and started building. I worked as my own GC to save money, my wife would come up weekends to see what had been accomplished. She came in one day, and I was scoring the concrete, as I was going to have concrete floors to save money. She went threw the roof, had a big knock down drag out. In walks my Dad, he asks about the problem. I told him we had agreed upon concrete floors to save money, but one of the small areas I had stained, she said was much too dark. He asked me how much it would be to tile it. I said about $30k, but it wasn't in the budget. He stroked me a check for the $30k, told me to make her happy. With casement windows, an extra 100 tons of rock, the metal roof, I was way over budget, like $100k over. We sold our Cedar Park home for about $240k, but I had spent close to $400k. I gave him the proceeds, nothing else was ever said.

Over the years, my Dad always paid for me, and my son's deer lease spots see he could spend as much time with us as possible. All expense paid fishing trips, an Alaskan Cruise, etc. It was all about family time, until he passed in 2019.

I never moved with the oilfield work. I had a house paid for, cars paid off, no credit card debt. Life was good, my wife, started working for a modular building company as soon as the Barnett Shale played out. She started at about $17/hr. She was pissed about not working at the state anymore. She would have retired last year. But, the brains behind that modular company left and started a new company, she was the third person hired, she is executive level, six figures, does what she wants, and is a difference maker, not a cog. I always remind her of that.

I traveled a bit for a day or two, here and there doing landman work. My mother convinced me to get into occasional home building, and real estate in 2015. So I became a realtor. My mother is in a bunch of organizations (DAR, VFD auxiliary, church, etc.) and gets 95% of our listings from there. I do the yard signs, and some of our showings. We split everything down the middle 50/50. I would not be in deep shit if something happened to her, but it would be a scramble. She has enough assets, and oil and gas royalties that I would inherit to stay comfortable. We are always the co-number one realtors in our county. She just turned 72, and has no intention of slowing down, as she loves what she does, no interest in getting remarried.

My wife is resentful of all my free time. I go to our deer lease and stay for weeks, it is just slow this time of year. Not last year, but this year, and the years before. My mother paid for the truck I drive, she bought it for my Dad's company. They bought my son's pickup, and paid for his first year of college. CHIEF Jr. has no recollection of tough times. He is about to graduate engineering school, and has a job lined up at Lockheed in Ft. Worth. He can live at home and commute with others to rathole money. He is about to be 25, and must own property to be a club member at that time. My mother is giving him a $150k riverfront lot for Christmas, and will pay the initiation fee as well.

I have lived through good times and bad. I am thankful for my position, and the position my mother, wife, and son are in. As Hayden put it, I'm not a "bootstraps" guy, nor a "silver spoon". We go on a vacation once or twice a year, don't eat out much, only real outlandish item we spend money on is a Polaris Ranger. My wife is a penny pincher, CHIEF Jr. is somewhat tight for a 24 year old (doesn't bar hop, or get in any trouble). I let mom make all of her financial decisions, its her money, she can spend any or all of it, for all I care. She will never spend a day in a nursing home, I will see to it. Even if it takes spending what I will inherit for "in home" care.

This is what "being family" means. Improving each others lives, any chance you get. You're all in it together. 

CHIEF

 

[ztejas 43420]

[BehoId, The Underminer! 11669]

19 minutes ago, CHIEF said:

I am an only child, and my son is an only child.

My father was the fourth child of ten from a poor sharecropper family. My paternal grandmother never knew my name, I was just Melvin's boy. His older siblings got married and moved away as soon as they were old enough. His older brother was always "sickly", so he was the one that was "just right" for all of the heavy labor. Not only did he do the majority of the work on the farm, but his mom farmed him out, for money he never saw, to the neighbors to do all of the work on their farms as well. He told me he remembered having to get up early to turn over rows of peanuts to dry in the sun before going to elementary school. He was definitely a self made man. He sat for days on end at the Santa Fe Railroad shops, in Cleburne, until the shop superintendent finally gave him an interview and job to get him out of his office. He was the most persistent person I have ever known. He worked the day shift for eight hours and then the night shift as a watchman until 11pm. I only saw him on weekends.

My mother was the oldest of three, her Dad was a bus driver. They later built a fishing resort on Lake Whitney, in the early 50's. After selling the resort, my grandfather did really well in real estate. So well, that my mother got her real estate license in 1969. 

In 1972, my parents bought 11 acres and built a home outside of Cleburne for about $38k, both grandparents were distraught over how their kids were gonna afford the $249/month mortgage. This was a time of hyperinflation, they sold it in 1977 for $75k, and bought 118 acres on the Brazos river for $66k, we bought a used trailer house for $4500, and moved in. This was the hot summer of 1980, and the crops were dismal, to say the least. My parents used my savings account for my Christmas that year.  The next year was much better. My  dad decided to have a stock tank built, the dozer driver started digging, but said there was so much pea gravel that the tank would never hold water. Dad contacted El Paso sand and gravel, and they did some core samples, the pea gravel went as far as their 80 foot corer could drill. So far, he had about $16k in the property. They offered to pay him by the ton upon removal, he said he would take 25% of that money as a one time payment to not have to deal with the trucks and dust. They agreed upon a valuation of that 25% at $500k. Dad did a 1031, and we ended up with a 420 acre ranch with a 4500 sq/ft. mansion in Bosque County, free and clear, when he was 33 years old. Hwy 67 from Midlothian to Dallas is paved with that pea gravel.

He had quit his job at the railroad, and with some of the extra money, he had gotten into the oil business, everything was going well until the bottom fell out in 1984-85. Being a man of integrity, he refused to go into bankruptcy and pay everything back. We sold the ranch, cows, everything, and moved into a rented fourplex in a small town. Mom went to work at Farm Bureau in Waco, and Dad worked as a salesman at a solar plant in Waco. Long John Silvers was a splurge, if we wanted to eat out. 

Through all of this, I never once felt like my parents didn't have me as their number one priority. They always told me they loved me, and I was the best thing to ever happen to them. Not going to college was never an option for me, my parents came from nothing, and they damn sure didn't want that for me. I had gone to college in Colorado, so I could go skiing on most days. This put them in a financial bind, I knew this, so I suggested a different, cheaper plan. I came back home, and rode to MCC in Waco, with one of my best friends for the next two years. Then, finished at Tarleton, so I could commute to school. I worked as an aircraft mechanic while attending Tarleton. I would schedule to go to school only MWF, or Tu/Th so I could work a full 10 hours on my days off and on Saturdays, and sometimes Sundays. My parents paid for my school, roof, food, insurance. I paid for everything else.

While at Tarleton, I met the love of my life, she was from Cedar Park. I was a senior, she was a freshman. At the end of the year, she said she was moving back to Cedar Park, and going to ACC. Her parents had very modest means, and she had an older entitled brother, and an older dysfunctional sister that was bleeding them dry. My best friend, the one I rode with tho MCC, was living in Round Rock, and had been suggesting I move down and share an apartment with him for some time. I said fuck it, moved down and worked in a Physical Therapy clinic in Westlake. After a semester at ACC, my wife dropped out, to work a full time state job at the Texas Water Development Board. We got married, and moved into an apartment off of 360, bought a new car, ate out, and went to bars all the time. Basically lived off of credit cards. Her mom and dad were always strapped, because anytime one of her siblings needed money, they only thought it was fair to give the same amount to the others. I had a sit down talk with the FIL and told him don't worry about being fair, just worry about what's right. I was an only child, and if we needed help, my family would take care of us.

My parents were desperate for a grandchild. When we would go stay the weekend with them, my father would be cheerleading outside our bedroom door. I finally told them we were waiting until we could get a house before having kids. We had tons of credit card bills, and a huge car payment. Somehow my mom had squirreled away enough money to make that all go away. She insisted and paid off $37k in debt for us. We bought a house, had CHIEF Jr. but neither of us made enough to really make ends meet, so credit cards continued to pile up. We sold that house after five years and made a pretty good profit. Enough to pay off our outstanding debt. My wife, very computer savvy, had gotten a job at the General Services Commission, and doubled her salary. We were gonna build a home, so we moved in with her parents. I had enough after four months, bailed on the contract ($6500), and decided to buy, but I didn't have 20% for the down payment. Once more Mom to the rescue.

That all took place around 2002-2003. Mom had moved up to be the Field Editor at Farm Bureau, the parents had bought a nice house in Waco, then the Barnett Shale took off. We know everyone in Johnson County, if we don't know you, we are kin to you. Since my Dad had been in the oil business, everyone was calling him all hours of the day and night about the contracts they were receiving on their mineral rights. Mom told him he needs to either step into the game, or quit taking calls. Dad and a partner opened a leasing office in Cleburne. No one in Johnson county had ever dealt with oil and gas contracts, they were receiving the standard Form 51 contracts. Dad and an oil and gas attorney got together and wrote up a contract. It was sufficiently good enough that Chesapeake, Devon, and EOG would take it. He had me quit my 8-5 job and come work for him. I worked for two years as a lessor, landman,  and office clerk, separated from my wife and son to make this work. My dad and his partner made millions, leased 100k acres for Chesapeake. He was paying me $60k, BUT, at the end of 18 months, he stated how much he would like my wife and son, up here, close by. I told him I would have to save up more money to do it. He told me to go find a lot, build what you want, and your Mom and I will pay for it, when you sell your house in Cedar Park, you can pay it back.

They lived in Pecan Plantation, in Granbury. I was going to move to Glen Rose, but couldn't find a nice neighborhood that didn't have a handful of rundown houses around, so Pecan Plantation it was. Found my lot, bought it for $55k, the folks stroked a check. Found my house plans, online, after looking at plans for three months about four hours each night, and started building. I worked as my own GC to save money, my wife would come up weekends to see what had been accomplished. She came in one day, and I was scoring the concrete, as I was going to have concrete floors to save money. She went threw the roof, had a big knock down drag out. In walks my Dad, he asks about the problem. I told him we had agreed upon concrete floors to save money, but one of the small areas I had stained, she said was much too dark. He asked me how much it would be to tile it. I said about $30k, but it wasn't in the budget. He stroked me a check for the $30k, told me to make her happy. With casement windows, an extra 100 tons of rock, the metal roof, I was way over budget, like $100k over. We sold our Cedar Park home for about $240k, but I had spent close to $400k. I gave him the proceeds, nothing else was ever said.

Over the years, my Dad always paid for me, and my son's deer lease spots see he could spend as much time with us as possible. All expense paid fishing trips, an Alaskan Cruise, etc. It was all about family time, until he passed in 2019.

I never moved with the oilfield work. I had a house paid for, cars paid off, no credit card debt. Life was good, my wife, started working for a modular building company as soon as the Barnett Shale played out. She started at about $17/hr. She was pissed about not working at the state anymore. She would have retired last year. But, the brains behind that modular company left and started a new company, she was the third person hired, she is executive level, six figures, does what she wants, and is a difference maker, not a cog. I always remind her of that.

I traveled a bit for a day or two, here and there doing landman work. My mother convinced me to get into occasional home building, and real estate in 2015. So I became a realtor. My mother is in a bunch of organizations (DAR, VFD auxiliary, church, etc.) and gets 95% of our listings from there. I do the yard signs, and some of our showings. We split everything down the middle 50/50. I would not be in deep shit if something happened to her, but it would be a scramble. She has enough assets, and oil and gas royalties that I would inherit to stay comfortable. We are always the co-number one realtors in our county. She just turned 72, and has no intention of slowing down, as she loves what she does, no interest in getting remarried.

My wife is resentful of all my free time. I go to our deer lease and stay for weeks, it is just slow this time of year. Not last year, but this year, and the years before. My mother paid for the truck I drive, she bought it for my Dad's company. They bought my son's pickup, and paid for his first year of college. CHIEF Jr. has no recollection of tough times. He is about to graduate engineering school, and has a job lined up at Lockheed in Ft. Worth. He can live at home and commute with others to rathole money. He is about to be 25, and must own property to be a club member at that time. My mother is giving him a $150k riverfront lot for Christmas, and will pay the initiation fee as well.

I have lived through good times and bad. I am thankful for my position, and the position my mother, wife, and son are in. As Hayden put it, I'm not a "bootstraps" guy, nor a "silver spoon". We go on a vacation once or twice a year, don't eat out much, only real outlandish item we spend money on is a Polaris Ranger. My wife is a penny pincher, CHIEF Jr. is somewhat tight for a 24 year old (doesn't bar hop, or get in any trouble). I let mom make all of her financial decisions, its her money, she can spend any or all of it, for all I care. She will never spend a day in a nursing home, I will see to it. Even if it takes spending what I will inherit for "in home" care.

This is what "being family" means. Improving each others lives, any chance you get. You're all in it together. 

CHIEF

 

Oh. 

[HornPhD 1368]

My wife has an aunt and uncle who have done very well in radio (they own 30+ radio stations). Their daughter, late 30s, has been living off them since graduating college. Although she has a job now (prestigious yet low-paying), her NYC apartment is paid for by her parents (she moved out of her parent’s home about 8 years ago), she gets money put into her account every month, and all leisure travel is covered. Super smart person; however, she lives in an alternate reality compared to others. 

My wife’s other cousins who live in the area are always asking them for money and expect them to pay for family vacations. 

 

[CHIEF 5082]

2 minutes ago, HornPhD said:

My wife has an aunt and uncle who have done very well in radio (they own 30+ radio stations). Their daughter, late 30s, has been living off them since graduating college. Although she has a job now (prestigious yet low-paying), her NYC apartment is paid for by her parents (she moved out of her parent’s home about 8 years ago), she gets money put into her account every month, and all leisure travel is covered. Super smart person; however, she lives in an alternate reality compared to others. 

My wife’s other cousins who live in the area are always asking them for money and expect them to pay for family vacations. 

 

Does she happen to post here?

CHIEF

[SaucyJack 3488]

2 hours ago, Jersey Man10 said:

I still live with my folks but take care of my own expenses and pay them rent. We don’t even have the same phone plan. I pay for our internet and steaming services. But then again it’s different for Mexican families.

You talkin' Monterrey, D.F. or Acuna?

If your referring to Americans of Indigenous, Mexican, or Spanish descent, then your post is anecdotal.

Edited December 24, 2022 by SaucyJack

[HornPhD 1368]

26 minutes ago, CHIEF said:

Does she happen to post here?

CHIEF

She dates losers, not assholes.

I would like to point out that she is a very nice and kind person. She was just raised in an environment where she was given everything she wanted. 

Edited December 24, 2022 by HornPhD

[Sbbruin 21850]

1 hour ago, CHIEF said:

I am an only child, and my son is an only child.

My father was the fourth child of ten from a poor sharecropper family. My paternal grandmother never knew my name, I was just Melvin's boy. His older siblings got married and moved away as soon as they were old enough. His older brother was always "sickly", so he was the one that was "just right" for all of the heavy labor. Not only did he do the majority of the work on the farm, but his mom farmed him out, for money he never saw, to the neighbors to do all of the work on their farms as well. He told me he remembered having to get up early to turn over rows of peanuts to dry in the sun before going to elementary school. He was definitely a self made man. He sat for days on end at the Santa Fe Railroad shops, in Cleburne, until the shop superintendent finally gave him an interview and job to get him out of his office. He was the most persistent person I have ever known. He worked the day shift for eight hours and then the night shift as a watchman until 11pm. I only saw him on weekends.

My mother was the oldest of three, her Dad was a bus driver. They later built a fishing resort on Lake Whitney, in the early 50's. After selling the resort, my grandfather did really well in real estate. So well, that my mother got her real estate license in 1969. 

In 1972, my parents bought 11 acres and built a home outside of Cleburne for about $38k, both grandparents were distraught over how their kids were gonna afford the $249/month mortgage. This was a time of hyperinflation, they sold it in 1977 for $75k, and bought 118 acres on the Brazos river for $66k, we bought a used trailer house for $4500, and moved in. This was the hot summer of 1980, and the crops were dismal, to say the least. My parents used my savings account for my Christmas that year.  The next year was much better. My  dad decided to have a stock tank built, the dozer driver started digging, but said there was so much pea gravel that the tank would never hold water. Dad contacted El Paso sand and gravel, and they did some core samples, the pea gravel went as far as their 80 foot corer could drill. So far, he had about $16k in the property. They offered to pay him by the ton upon removal, he said he would take 25% of that money as a one time payment to not have to deal with the trucks and dust. They agreed upon a valuation of that 25% at $500k. Dad did a 1031, and we ended up with a 420 acre ranch with a 4500 sq/ft. mansion in Bosque County, free and clear, when he was 33 years old. Hwy 67 from Midlothian to Dallas is paved with that pea gravel.

He had quit his job at the railroad, and with some of the extra money, he had gotten into the oil business, everything was going well until the bottom fell out in 1984-85. Being a man of integrity, he refused to go into bankruptcy and pay everything back. We sold the ranch, cows, everything, and moved into a rented fourplex in a small town. Mom went to work at Farm Bureau in Waco, and Dad worked as a salesman at a solar plant in Waco. Long John Silvers was a splurge, if we wanted to eat out. 

Through all of this, I never once felt like my parents didn't have me as their number one priority. They always told me they loved me, and I was the best thing to ever happen to them. Not going to college was never an option for me, my parents came from nothing, and they damn sure didn't want that for me. I had gone to college in Colorado, so I could go skiing on most days. This put them in a financial bind, I knew this, so I suggested a different, cheaper plan. I came back home, and rode to MCC in Waco, with one of my best friends for the next two years. Then, finished at Tarleton, so I could commute to school. I worked as an aircraft mechanic while attending Tarleton. I would schedule to go to school only MWF, or Tu/Th so I could work a full 10 hours on my days off and on Saturdays, and sometimes Sundays. My parents paid for my school, roof, food, insurance. I paid for everything else.

While at Tarleton, I met the love of my life, she was from Cedar Park. I was a senior, she was a freshman. At the end of the year, she said she was moving back to Cedar Park, and going to ACC. Her parents had very modest means, and she had an older entitled brother, and an older dysfunctional sister that was bleeding them dry. My best friend, the one I rode with tho MCC, was living in Round Rock, and had been suggesting I move down and share an apartment with him for some time. I said fuck it, moved down and worked in a Physical Therapy clinic in Westlake. After a semester at ACC, my wife dropped out, to work a full time state job at the Texas Water Development Board. We got married, and moved into an apartment off of 360, bought a new car, ate out, and went to bars all the time. Basically lived off of credit cards. Her mom and dad were always strapped, because anytime one of her siblings needed money, they only thought it was fair to give the same amount to the others. I had a sit down talk with the FIL and told him don't worry about being fair, just worry about what's right. I was an only child, and if we needed help, my family would take care of us.

My parents were desperate for a grandchild. When we would go stay the weekend with them, my father would be cheerleading outside our bedroom door. I finally told them we were waiting until we could get a house before having kids. We had tons of credit card bills, and a huge car payment. Somehow my mom had squirreled away enough money to make that all go away. She insisted and paid off $37k in debt for us. We bought a house, had CHIEF Jr. but neither of us made enough to really make ends meet, so credit cards continued to pile up. We sold that house after five years and made a pretty good profit. Enough to pay off our outstanding debt. My wife, very computer savvy, had gotten a job at the General Services Commission, and doubled her salary. We were gonna build a home, so we moved in with her parents. I had enough after four months, bailed on the contract ($6500), and decided to buy, but I didn't have 20% for the down payment. Once more Mom to the rescue.

That all took place around 2002-2003. Mom had moved up to be the Field Editor at Farm Bureau, the parents had bought a nice house in Waco, then the Barnett Shale took off. We know everyone in Johnson County, if we don't know you, we are kin to you. Since my Dad had been in the oil business, everyone was calling him all hours of the day and night about the contracts they were receiving on their mineral rights. Mom told him he needs to either step into the game, or quit taking calls. Dad and a partner opened a leasing office in Cleburne. No one in Johnson county had ever dealt with oil and gas contracts, they were receiving the standard Form 51 contracts. Dad and an oil and gas attorney got together and wrote up a contract. It was sufficiently good enough that Chesapeake, Devon, and EOG would take it. He had me quit my 8-5 job and come work for him. I worked for two years as a lessor, landman,  and office clerk, separated from my wife and son to make this work. My dad and his partner made millions, leased 100k acres for Chesapeake. He was paying me $60k, BUT, at the end of 18 months, he stated how much he would like my wife and son, up here, close by. I told him I would have to save up more money to do it. He told me to go find a lot, build what you want, and your Mom and I will pay for it, when you sell your house in Cedar Park, you can pay it back.

They lived in Pecan Plantation, in Granbury. I was going to move to Glen Rose, but couldn't find a nice neighborhood that didn't have a handful of rundown houses around, so Pecan Plantation it was. Found my lot, bought it for $55k, the folks stroked a check. Found my house plans, online, after looking at plans for three months about four hours each night, and started building. I worked as my own GC to save money, my wife would come up weekends to see what had been accomplished. She came in one day, and I was scoring the concrete, as I was going to have concrete floors to save money. She went threw the roof, had a big knock down drag out. In walks my Dad, he asks about the problem. I told him we had agreed upon concrete floors to save money, but one of the small areas I had stained, she said was much too dark. He asked me how much it would be to tile it. I said about $30k, but it wasn't in the budget. He stroked me a check for the $30k, told me to make her happy. With casement windows, an extra 100 tons of rock, the metal roof, I was way over budget, like $100k over. We sold our Cedar Park home for about $240k, but I had spent close to $400k. I gave him the proceeds, nothing else was ever said.

Over the years, my Dad always paid for me, and my son's deer lease spots see he could spend as much time with us as possible. All expense paid fishing trips, an Alaskan Cruise, etc. It was all about family time, until he passed in 2019.

I never moved with the oilfield work. I had a house paid for, cars paid off, no credit card debt. Life was good, my wife, started working for a modular building company as soon as the Barnett Shale played out. She started at about $17/hr. She was pissed about not working at the state anymore. She would have retired last year. But, the brains behind that modular company left and started a new company, she was the third person hired, she is executive level, six figures, does what she wants, and is a difference maker, not a cog. I always remind her of that.

I traveled a bit for a day or two, here and there doing landman work. My mother convinced me to get into occasional home building, and real estate in 2015. So I became a realtor. My mother is in a bunch of organizations (DAR, VFD auxiliary, church, etc.) and gets 95% of our listings from there. I do the yard signs, and some of our showings. We split everything down the middle 50/50. I would not be in deep shit if something happened to her, but it would be a scramble. She has enough assets, and oil and gas royalties that I would inherit to stay comfortable. We are always the co-number one realtors in our county. She just turned 72, and has no intention of slowing down, as she loves what she does, no interest in getting remarried.

My wife is resentful of all my free time. I go to our deer lease and stay for weeks, it is just slow this time of year. Not last year, but this year, and the years before. My mother paid for the truck I drive, she bought it for my Dad's company. They bought my son's pickup, and paid for his first year of college. CHIEF Jr. has no recollection of tough times. He is about to graduate engineering school, and has a job lined up at Lockheed in Ft. Worth. He can live at home and commute with others to rathole money. He is about to be 25, and must own property to be a club member at that time. My mother is giving him a $150k riverfront lot for Christmas, and will pay the initiation fee as well.

I have lived through good times and bad. I am thankful for my position, and the position my mother, wife, and son are in. As Hayden put it, I'm not a "bootstraps" guy, nor a "silver spoon". We go on a vacation once or twice a year, don't eat out much, only real outlandish item we spend money on is a Polaris Ranger. My wife is a penny pincher, CHIEF Jr. is somewhat tight for a 24 year old (doesn't bar hop, or get in any trouble). I let mom make all of her financial decisions, its her money, she can spend any or all of it, for all I care. She will never spend a day in a nursing home, I will see to it. Even if it takes spending what I will inherit for "in home" care.

This is what "being family" means. Improving each others lives, any chance you get. You're all in it together. 

CHIEF

 

Could you elaborate a bit?

agreed, I will end up helping my kids when I can, but I won’t help defray a deadbeat lifestyle.

[HornPhD 1368]

52 minutes ago, Sbbruin said:

Could you elaborate a bit?

agreed, I will end up helping my kids when I can, but I won’t help defray a deadbeat lifestyle.

All I took from the post was that CHIEF and his wife ate each other out when times were tough. Admittedly, I’ve been drinking since 2 so my comprehension skills are limited at the moment. 

[SaucyJack 3488]

i've been drinking since 1.  I thought he was eating possum in a blind?

[SuckitKevin 920]

I’ve got a 25 yo nephew that will mooch off my SIL until one of them dies. She had him in her first marriage and remarried when he was 6 and I think she has guilt that he wasn’t treated like her other children from her second marriage because her second husband wasn’t his father. That’s actually probably true. He barely graduated high school, failed out of junior college with a 0.0 gpa and has had about 5-6 jobs a year since he was nineteen that usually last for less than 2 months. He says he wants a job where “no one can tell me what to do.” He thinks he’s gonna start his own podcast. He used to tell us that he’ll probably just walk on and play football for Texas. He is truly a narcissist and believes everyone else is crazy, not him. He now works at a coffee shop in Buda. Oh, and he has a 2 yo daughter that he can’t support and ignores. He barely has a relationship with the mother. My SIL gets the kid about every other weekend, then invites him over and takes staged photos so she can send them to the family to show everyone what a great dad he is. When the family gets together, my BIL ( not his step dad) and I drink beer and make fun of him, but what I’ve learned is that you can’t shame a narcissist because he thinks you’re the one that’s fucked up. At least I’m able to use him as an example for my kids of how not to live your life.

[Chewbacca 7777]

Money talks. Wealth whispers 

Sometimes it screams.

[Brew 3049]

On 12/23/2022 at 8:16 PM, Zepol87 said:

Yea man I can't imagine how  grandparents helping out with education in any form would be viewed negatively at all. 

I’m pretty heavily involved in the private school my kids involve and have been for 8-10 years. Several years back we did a study on how tuition was paid to get a better idea of capacity for tuition increases long-term. Over 50% was paid by grandparents and when looking through the details it wasn’t the people you expected. I would think that is pretty consistent across the board with other schools.

I move money to my kids every year for estate planning purposes. I expect them to take care of themselves once they get out of college, we’ll see how it goes. 

Now if I could get parents off the payroll, that would be appreciated. 

[DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt 12301]

4 hours ago, CHIEF said:

I am an only child, and my son is an only child.

My father was the fourth child of ten from a poor sharecropper family. My paternal grandmother never knew my name, I was just Melvin's boy. His older siblings got married and moved away as soon as they were old enough. His older brother was always "sickly", so he was the one that was "just right" for all of the heavy labor. Not only did he do the majority of the work on the farm, but his mom farmed him out, for money he never saw, to the neighbors to do all of the work on their farms as well. He told me he remembered having to get up early to turn over rows of peanuts to dry in the sun before going to elementary school. He was definitely a self made man. He sat for days on end at the Santa Fe Railroad shops, in Cleburne, until the shop superintendent finally gave him an interview and job to get him out of his office. He was the most persistent person I have ever known. He worked the day shift for eight hours and then the night shift as a watchman until 11pm. I only saw him on weekends.

My mother was the oldest of three, her Dad was a bus driver. They later built a fishing resort on Lake Whitney, in the early 50's. After selling the resort, my grandfather did really well in real estate. So well, that my mother got her real estate license in 1969. 

In 1972, my parents bought 11 acres and built a home outside of Cleburne for about $38k, both grandparents were distraught over how their kids were gonna afford the $249/month mortgage. This was a time of hyperinflation, they sold it in 1977 for $75k, and bought 118 acres on the Brazos river for $66k, we bought a used trailer house for $4500, and moved in. This was the hot summer of 1980, and the crops were dismal, to say the least. My parents used my savings account for my Christmas that year.  The next year was much better. My  dad decided to have a stock tank built, the dozer driver started digging, but said there was so much pea gravel that the tank would never hold water. Dad contacted El Paso sand and gravel, and they did some core samples, the pea gravel went as far as their 80 foot corer could drill. So far, he had about $16k in the property. They offered to pay him by the ton upon removal, he said he would take 25% of that money as a one time payment to not have to deal with the trucks and dust. They agreed upon a valuation of that 25% at $500k. Dad did a 1031, and we ended up with a 420 acre ranch with a 4500 sq/ft. mansion in Bosque County, free and clear, when he was 33 years old. Hwy 67 from Midlothian to Dallas is paved with that pea gravel.

He had quit his job at the railroad, and with some of the extra money, he had gotten into the oil business, everything was going well until the bottom fell out in 1984-85. Being a man of integrity, he refused to go into bankruptcy and pay everything back. We sold the ranch, cows, everything, and moved into a rented fourplex in a small town. Mom went to work at Farm Bureau in Waco, and Dad worked as a salesman at a solar plant in Waco. Long John Silvers was a splurge, if we wanted to eat out. 

Through all of this, I never once felt like my parents didn't have me as their number one priority. They always told me they loved me, and I was the best thing to ever happen to them. Not going to college was never an option for me, my parents came from nothing, and they damn sure didn't want that for me. I had gone to college in Colorado, so I could go skiing on most days. This put them in a financial bind, I knew this, so I suggested a different, cheaper plan. I came back home, and rode to MCC in Waco, with one of my best friends for the next two years. Then, finished at Tarleton, so I could commute to school. I worked as an aircraft mechanic while attending Tarleton. I would schedule to go to school only MWF, or Tu/Th so I could work a full 10 hours on my days off and on Saturdays, and sometimes Sundays. My parents paid for my school, roof, food, insurance. I paid for everything else.

While at Tarleton, I met the love of my life, she was from Cedar Park. I was a senior, she was a freshman. At the end of the year, she said she was moving back to Cedar Park, and going to ACC. Her parents had very modest means, and she had an older entitled brother, and an older dysfunctional sister that was bleeding them dry. My best friend, the one I rode with tho MCC, was living in Round Rock, and had been suggesting I move down and share an apartment with him for some time. I said fuck it, moved down and worked in a Physical Therapy clinic in Westlake. After a semester at ACC, my wife dropped out, to work a full time state job at the Texas Water Development Board. We got married, and moved into an apartment off of 360, bought a new car, ate out, and went to bars all the time. Basically lived off of credit cards. Her mom and dad were always strapped, because anytime one of her siblings needed money, they only thought it was fair to give the same amount to the others. I had a sit down talk with the FIL and told him don't worry about being fair, just worry about what's right. I was an only child, and if we needed help, my family would take care of us.

My parents were desperate for a grandchild. When we would go stay the weekend with them, my father would be cheerleading outside our bedroom door. I finally told them we were waiting until we could get a house before having kids. We had tons of credit card bills, and a huge car payment. Somehow my mom had squirreled away enough money to make that all go away. She insisted and paid off $37k in debt for us. We bought a house, had CHIEF Jr. but neither of us made enough to really make ends meet, so credit cards continued to pile up. We sold that house after five years and made a pretty good profit. Enough to pay off our outstanding debt. My wife, very computer savvy, had gotten a job at the General Services Commission, and doubled her salary. We were gonna build a home, so we moved in with her parents. I had enough after four months, bailed on the contract ($6500), and decided to buy, but I didn't have 20% for the down payment. Once more Mom to the rescue.

That all took place around 2002-2003. Mom had moved up to be the Field Editor at Farm Bureau, the parents had bought a nice house in Waco, then the Barnett Shale took off. We know everyone in Johnson County, if we don't know you, we are kin to you. Since my Dad had been in the oil business, everyone was calling him all hours of the day and night about the contracts they were receiving on their mineral rights. Mom told him he needs to either step into the game, or quit taking calls. Dad and a partner opened a leasing office in Cleburne. No one in Johnson county had ever dealt with oil and gas contracts, they were receiving the standard Form 51 contracts. Dad and an oil and gas attorney got together and wrote up a contract. It was sufficiently good enough that Chesapeake, Devon, and EOG would take it. He had me quit my 8-5 job and come work for him. I worked for two years as a lessor, landman,  and office clerk, separated from my wife and son to make this work. My dad and his partner made millions, leased 100k acres for Chesapeake. He was paying me $60k, BUT, at the end of 18 months, he stated how much he would like my wife and son, up here, close by. I told him I would have to save up more money to do it. He told me to go find a lot, build what you want, and your Mom and I will pay for it, when you sell your house in Cedar Park, you can pay it back.

They lived in Pecan Plantation, in Granbury. I was going to move to Glen Rose, but couldn't find a nice neighborhood that didn't have a handful of rundown houses around, so Pecan Plantation it was. Found my lot, bought it for $55k, the folks stroked a check. Found my house plans, online, after looking at plans for three months about four hours each night, and started building. I worked as my own GC to save money, my wife would come up weekends to see what had been accomplished. She came in one day, and I was scoring the concrete, as I was going to have concrete floors to save money. She went threw the roof, had a big knock down drag out. In walks my Dad, he asks about the problem. I told him we had agreed upon concrete floors to save money, but one of the small areas I had stained, she said was much too dark. He asked me how much it would be to tile it. I said about $30k, but it wasn't in the budget. He stroked me a check for the $30k, told me to make her happy. With casement windows, an extra 100 tons of rock, the metal roof, I was way over budget, like $100k over. We sold our Cedar Park home for about $240k, but I had spent close to $400k. I gave him the proceeds, nothing else was ever said.

Over the years, my Dad always paid for me, and my son's deer lease spots see he could spend as much time with us as possible. All expense paid fishing trips, an Alaskan Cruise, etc. It was all about family time, until he passed in 2019.

I never moved with the oilfield work. I had a house paid for, cars paid off, no credit card debt. Life was good, my wife, started working for a modular building company as soon as the Barnett Shale played out. She started at about $17/hr. She was pissed about not working at the state anymore. She would have retired last year. But, the brains behind that modular company left and started a new company, she was the third person hired, she is executive level, six figures, does what she wants, and is a difference maker, not a cog. I always remind her of that.

I traveled a bit for a day or two, here and there doing landman work. My mother convinced me to get into occasional home building, and real estate in 2015. So I became a realtor. My mother is in a bunch of organizations (DAR, VFD auxiliary, church, etc.) and gets 95% of our listings from there. I do the yard signs, and some of our showings. We split everything down the middle 50/50. I would not be in deep shit if something happened to her, but it would be a scramble. She has enough assets, and oil and gas royalties that I would inherit to stay comfortable. We are always the co-number one realtors in our county. She just turned 72, and has no intention of slowing down, as she loves what she does, no interest in getting remarried.

My wife is resentful of all my free time. I go to our deer lease and stay for weeks, it is just slow this time of year. Not last year, but this year, and the years before. My mother paid for the truck I drive, she bought it for my Dad's company. They bought my son's pickup, and paid for his first year of college. CHIEF Jr. has no recollection of tough times. He is about to graduate engineering school, and has a job lined up at Lockheed in Ft. Worth. He can live at home and commute with others to rathole money. He is about to be 25, and must own property to be a club member at that time. My mother is giving him a $150k riverfront lot for Christmas, and will pay the initiation fee as well.

I have lived through good times and bad. I am thankful for my position, and the position my mother, wife, and son are in. As Hayden put it, I'm not a "bootstraps" guy, nor a "silver spoon". We go on a vacation once or twice a year, don't eat out much, only real outlandish item we spend money on is a Polaris Ranger. My wife is a penny pincher, CHIEF Jr. is somewhat tight for a 24 year old (doesn't bar hop, or get in any trouble). I let mom make all of her financial decisions, its her money, she can spend any or all of it, for all I care. She will never spend a day in a nursing home, I will see to it. Even if it takes spending what I will inherit for "in home" care.

This is what "being family" means. Improving each others lives, any chance you get. You're all in it together. 

CHIEF

 

Not now, CHIEF

[ztejas 43420]

4 hours ago, SaucyJack said:

If your referring to Americans of Indigenous, Mexican, or Spanish descent, then your post is anecdotal.

You're right. Persons of Mexican descent living in America strictly live 2 to a house. Maybe 3 if there's an exception. 

[dcbc 14480]

4 hours ago, CHIEF said:

My father was the fourth child of ten from a poor sharecropper family.

This is a weird coincidence, but my dad also was the son of a poor sharecropper from Deadwood, SD.

[UT_OB1 2220]

@CHIEF

Can you explain this part?

Do you mean y’all were sitting on a pea gravel “mine” and it was worth 2 mil if they’d take it out slowly?  I never even thought of pea gravel being something you might have on your land that you could make money off of. 
 

Quote

My  dad decided to have a stock tank built, the dozer driver started digging, but said there was so much pea gravel that the tank would never hold water. Dad contacted El Paso sand and gravel, and they did some core samples, the pea gravel went as far as their 80 foot corer could drill. So far, he had about $16k in the property. They offered to pay him by the ton upon removal, he said he would take 25% of that money as a one time payment to not have to deal with the trucks and dust. They agreed upon a valuation of that 25% at $500k. Dad did a 1031, and we ended up with a 420 acre ranch with a 4500 sq/ft. mansion in Bosque County, free and clear, when he was 33 years old. 

 

[ztejas 43420]

14 minutes ago, UT_OB1 said:

@CHIEF

Can you explain this part?

[babysdaddy 2721]

This is a weird coincidence, but my dad also was the son of a poor sharecropper from Deadwood, SD.

[DalTxHornFan 3101]

[Chopper 17230]

This thread makes me think about my best-friend-growing up's grandfather. Grandpa was loaded. Co-founded what was the top Beverly Hills entertainment law firm of its time. He had a nice but modest ranch style house in Beverly Hills, nothing at all extravagant. He was loaded. Lots of real estate investments, cash, stock. But he was very, very frugal. Drove a toyota himself. His house hadn't been redecorated or renovated since the 1960s. Once every 8ish years he'd throw my friend's mom a new car (Toyota, as well) and he bought his 2 grandkids their first cars, each of em a very low-end, barebones Toyota. Sentra, I think. Grandpa and Grandma were married for 50 years-ish but Grandma died first, suddenly and unexpectedly. Within 18 months a woman 20 years younger got her claws into Grandpa and they married. Within a couple more years, of course, Grandpa died. Fucking Grandpa, who did wills and trusts for a living, for some of the wealthiest people in LA, never wrote a will and never created a trust for his own estate. Dumb bastard. Of course the woman he had remarried was a total bitch, and because there was no will, the newly wed wife stood to inherit basically the entirety of Grandpa's robust estate. Commence lawsuit. I can't recall if there was a settlement, but I think it went to court and the probate judge determined that my friend's mom was entitled to a portion of the estate though the 2nd wife got the bulk.   

Moral of the story, imo, if you have it, share it with your progeny while you're still alive. But if you don't share it along the way, at the very least don't neglect having a will and/or a trust. 

[CHIEF 5082]

14 hours ago, UT_OB1 said:

@CHIEF

Can you explain this part?

Do you mean y’all were sitting on a pea gravel “mine” and it was worth 2 mil if they’d take it out slowly?  I never even thought of pea gravel being something you might have on your land that you could make money off of. 
 

 

No one that lived around us was savvy on real estate contracts. They wouldn't sell to the gravel company, but would sell to my dad. He put about 2000 acres together and gave the landowners about $5000-6000/acre. Ten times the going rate. They went from drinking Old Milwaukee to Coors Yellow Bellies. A million bucks was a lot of money in 1981. Ironically, they never mined the 118 acre place we owned. If we would  have sat on it, we would have received jack shit.

CHIEF

[Buzzrock 14920]

I’d take that deal that your neighbors have in a second. I would still work hard I would just make the other income part of the wealth-growing equation.

And I think the “we’re going to get it eventually why not now” is a valid argument in some situations. I have some friends in that boat. The parents never really had to work, sitting on a mountain of cash, my friends (husband and wife) have always worked hard and are now turning 50 with three kids. Splash it around. They could pay off my friends’ mortgage and not even notice.

[RDCanecutter 26426]

On 12/24/2022 at 7:25 PM, SaucyJack said:

i've been drinking since 1.  I thought he was eating possum in a blind?

I thought it was an inspiring story, but I heard it told by the voice of the guy who ate sand.

Who ate sand.

[Grade of D as in David 13253]

On 12/24/2022 at 7:44 PM, SuckitKevin said:

I’ve got a 25 yo nephew that will mooch off my SIL until one of them dies. She had him in her first marriage and remarried when he was 6 and I think she has guilt that he wasn’t treated like her other children from her second marriage because her second husband wasn’t his father. That’s actually probably true. He barely graduated high school, failed out of junior college with a 0.0 gpa and has had about 5-6 jobs a year since he was nineteen that usually last for less than 2 months. He says he wants a job where “no one can tell me what to do.” He thinks he’s gonna start his own podcast. He used to tell us that he’ll probably just walk on and play football for Texas. He is truly a narcissist and believes everyone else is crazy, not him. He now works at a coffee shop in Buda. Oh, and he has a 2 yo daughter that he can’t support and ignores. He barely has a relationship with the mother. My SIL gets the kid about every other weekend, then invites him over and takes staged photos so she can send them to the family to show everyone what a great dad he is. When the family gets together, my BIL ( not his step dad) and I drink beer and make fun of him, but what I’ve learned is that you can’t shame a narcissist because he thinks you’re the one that’s fucked up. At least I’m able to use him as an example for my kids of how not to live your life.

Please tell me your nephew's name is Kevin.

[Nivek 16928]

It also allows for the family to buy time together. Bunch of any rand readers in here.

[BehoId, The Underminer! 11669]

1) This thread is an interesting psych lesson seeing a bunch of people forced to try to reconcile their self perception of independence with the fact that they were given some stuff. (I say that without judgment).

 

2) It made me do some mental math today.  I tried to think of all the different help I got post-18 years old, add it all up, apply inflation, multiply by 3 because I want to do that for each of my three kids.  Damn.  Daddy needs to work some overtime.