End of Life Planning - Recs / Tips

[MinerProphet 71]

Not to be macabre, but hey, the reality is we all die one day. Whether you've had a recent health scare (like me) or just want to be proactive to protect and help your loved ones, I thought I'd start a thread to crowdsource tips, gotchas, risks around this and share what I'm doing now:

Long story short I had a health scare recently that forced me to face mortality. I have a young family and am relatively young (though I well into being a man according to Mike Gundy) and so the stress of dying is actually more about leaving my family capable and comfortable more than my leaving the earth.

Luckily I was smart or dumb enough to take out a sizable life insurance policy when I was young and healthy, cheap term life insurance that pays out a few million. I have a bit of savings across a few different accounts. I've bought one of those "I'm dead now what" journals and started writing in all the website details, username, log-ins, etc. to help in case of an untimely demise, along with downloading all policies and files and putting them in a convenient folder and dropbox. 

What else should I be thinking of?

I need to update my will, any recommendations there?

If I have a timeframe I know I will pass within (if prognosis turns bleak, for example), should I be proactive about selling the big house they can't afford without me and downsizing and getting some more liquid for the short term?

Has anyone pre-bought a funeral service? Any recs there?

[Kennythetiger 9460]

Holy shit. I am doing the opposite. I paid Immamac a retainer to make my account disappear. 

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

My end of life prep consists of my younger brother destroying my phone/computer and deleting my cloud storage. Then he drives me out to some desolate place and dumps my body in a ditch. I don’t want anyone wasting money on a dumbass funeral.

[tx 3 putt 77425]

 term life insurance - don't you have to die within a certain period of time ?

[tx 3 putt 77425]

9 minutes ago, Patricio Swayze said:

My end of life prep consists of my younger brother destroying my phone/computer and deleting my cloud storage. Then he drives me out to some desolate place and dumps my body in a ditch. I don’t want anyone wasting money on a dumbass funeral.

 

a good friend passed right as the covid outbreak and lockdowns started, no services / funeral. his family had a 1 year 'celebration of life' party. that was 10000000000 x times better than any funeral I ever attended. Upbeat and probably 1/10 the cost of a funeral. Lot of people told funny stories, the beer and fajitas were flowing. his kids were laughing and smiling the whole time. it was great 

[Dbeasy 15092]

4 hours ago, MinerProphet said:

Not to be macabre, but hey, the reality is we all die one day. Whether you've had a recent health scare (like me) or just want to be proactive to protect and help your loved ones, I thought I'd start a thread to crowdsource tips, gotchas, risks around this and share what I'm doing now:

Long story short I had a health scare recently that forced me to face mortality. I have a young family and am relatively young (though I well into being a man according to Mike Gundy) and so the stress of dying is actually more about leaving my family capable and comfortable more than my leaving the earth.

Luckily I was smart or dumb enough to take out a sizable life insurance policy when I was young and healthy, cheap term life insurance that pays out a few million. I have a bit of savings across a few different accounts. I've bought one of those "I'm dead now what" journals and started writing in all the website details, username, log-ins, etc. to help in case of an untimely demise, along with downloading all policies and files and putting them in a convenient folder and dropbox. 

What else should I be thinking of?

I need to update my will, any recommendations there?

If I have a timeframe I know I will pass within (if prognosis turns bleak, for example), should I be proactive about selling the big house they can't afford without me and downsizing and getting some more liquid for the short term?

Has anyone pre-bought a funeral service? Any recs there?

You should be thinking of the 41 different ways your wife is considering to murder you.

[HornOnTheBayou 8946]

Sounds like you're taking last night's loss pretty rough. Listen, sure the game didn't turn out like we wanted, but there were some glimmers of hope in the second half. We were just a couple of dropped passes away from running away with this game. We've got a great recruiting class coming in next year, the future is bright.

[tx 3 putt 77425]

1 hour ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

Sounds like you're taking last night's loss pretty rough. Listen, sure the game didn't turn out like we wanted, but there were some glimmers of hope in the second half. We were just a couple of dropped passes away from running away with this game. We've got a great recruiting class coming in next year, the future is bright.

we really need to see wife pics before passing judgement here 

[Hefeweizen 5333]

I let my term life expire once I had enough saved and invested for the family if I kick the bucket.  Other than that throw my body in the dumpster or the ocean.  
 

My real fear is dementia or something similar. Just going to buy a boat and start sailing west if that happens.

[HamsterHookah 112]

58 minutes ago, Hefeweizen said:

I let my term life expire once I had enough saved and invested for the family if I kick the bucket.  Other than that throw my body in the dumpster or the ocean.  
 

My real fear is dementia or something similar. Just going to buy a boat and start sailing west if that happens.

Humblebragging having saved a couple million bucks liquid, eh? I like it, I like it: Sustained.

That said to OP: For $100 I did a quick and dirty online Will, printed it out, had friends witness as I signed it from Quicken: https://smartasset.com/estate-planning/quicken-willmaker-trust-review

[TwiceHorn 31536]

15 minutes ago, HamsterHookah said:

Humblebragging having saved a couple million bucks liquid, eh? I like it, I like it: Sustained.

That said to OP: For $100 I did a quick and dirty online Will, printed it out, had friends witness as I signed it from Quicken: https://smartasset.com/estate-planning/quicken-willmaker-trust-review

Given that the spousal exemption is large enough for most without fuck you money, that's about all you need to do unless you want to set up individual trusts for minors, rather than just let the surviving spouse do it all.

[tx 3 putt 77425]

14 hours ago, MinerProphet said:

Not to be macabre, but hey, the reality is we all die one day. Whether you've had a recent health scare (like me) or just want to be proactive to protect and help your loved ones, I thought I'd start a thread to crowdsource tips, gotchas, risks around this and share what I'm doing now:

Long story short I had a health scare recently that forced me to face mortality. I have a young family and am relatively young (though I well into being a man according to Mike Gundy) and so the stress of dying is actually more about leaving my family capable and comfortable more than my leaving the earth.

Luckily I was smart or dumb enough to take out a sizable life insurance policy when I was young and healthy, cheap term life insurance that pays out a few million. I have a bit of savings across a few different accounts. I've bought one of those "I'm dead now what" journals and started writing in all the website details, username, log-ins, etc. to help in case of an untimely demise, along with downloading all policies and files and putting them in a convenient folder and dropbox. 

What else should I be thinking of?

I need to update my will, any recommendations there?

If I have a timeframe I know I will pass within (if prognosis turns bleak, for example), should I be proactive about selling the big house they can't afford without me and downsizing and getting some more liquid for the short term?

Has anyone pre-bought a funeral service? Any recs there?

 

https://www.surlyhorns.com/board/topic/27503-cost-effective-estate-planning-2022-version/#comment-4739740

[MissingInAction 25183]

I want a surly contingency to take my body to the ousucks game and state fair Ala Weekend at Bernies. Upon my death the coroner is going to insert posable rods into my appendages so you guys can put me in funny/perverse poses. 

My butthole will be sewn tight so you sickos  can forget about NowThis'ing my corpse.

[luke duke 6414]

I let my term life expire once I had enough saved and invested for the family if I kick the bucket.  Other than that throw my body in the dumpster or the ocean.  
 
My real fear is dementia or something similar. Just going to buy a boat and start sailing west if that happens.

Not necessarily the best move. The last years of a term life policy are the ones where the math is most in your favor.

[Hefeweizen 5333]

14 hours ago, luke duke said:

Not necessarily the best move. The last years of a term life policy are the ones where the math is most in your favor.

Sorry I wasn’t more clear.  I didn’t renew once it came to term.  The price was going to go up a lot, fucking actuaries!

[Nice Guy Eddie 13523]

Are pre-bought funeral services worth it? I’ve always assumed it’s a peace-of-mind scam that nets the funeral industry big profits. That it would be better to invest the money yourself in an index fund and your family comes out ahead. 

but I recognize some downsides to my idea.

• it’s always easy to say that you will invest but people put it off, or liquidate the investments for emergencies.
• A fair chunk of our population has zero idea how to invest.

 

[HamsterHookah 112]

53 minutes ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

Are pre-bought funeral services worth it? I’ve always assumed it’s a peace-of-mind scam that nets the funeral industry big profits. That it would be better to invest the money yourself in an index fund and your family comes out ahead. 

but I recognize some downsides to my idea.

• it’s always easy to say that you will invest but people put it off, or liquidate the investments for emergencies.
• A fair chunk of our population has zero idea how to invest.

 

Also, while you potentially have more money if invested, the family still has the burden of making a bunch of decisions and dealing with the funeral administration and the business of it all, while going through a tragic time (if it's like OP insinuated, a non-old-age death). Having it all buttoned up and paid for seems like it would be a great convenience and benefit to the survivors potentially.

[Nice Guy Eddie 13523]

24 minutes ago, HamsterHookah said:

Also, while you potentially have more money if invested, the family still has the burden of making a bunch of decisions and dealing with the funeral administration and the business of it all, while going through a tragic time (if it's like OP insinuated, a non-old-age death). Having it all buttoned up and paid for seems like it would be a great convenience and benefit to the survivors potentially.

True. I wasn't suggesting that it couldn't be planned just rather avoid the prepaid portion. I'm sure the sales person talks about locking in price and then removing the worry. However it wouldn't surprise me if they effectively attempt to upsell when the person dies.

Honesty I can't recall knowing anyone under 45 that planned their funeral unless there was a medical concern. At best, they might have a will and additional life insurance once kids are involved.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

On 12/30/2022 at 5:51 PM, Hefeweizen said:

My real fear is dementia or something similar.

Lost my mom that way. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. 

[Judge Roybeanbag 11821]

6 hours ago, HamsterHookah said:

Also, while you potentially have more money if invested, the family still has the burden of making a bunch of decisions and dealing with the funeral administration and the business of it all, while going through a tragic time (if it's like OP insinuated, a non-old-age death). Having it all buttoned up and paid for seems like it would be a great convenience and benefit to the survivors potentially.

This.  If you want to be cremated, I would highly recommend the Neptune Society.  You can pre-purchase a package at today's price.  They take care of everything - come pick up the body, provide a pastor/counselor if needed, take care of social security and other notifications and provide death certificates.  My parents did this, and it took the worry out of all of it, I had to to very little other than to go to their office to pick up paperwork, and to pick up the urn and stuff afterward.  I plan to do this so my spouse/kids don't have to hassle with anything.

The current price for all of this is $3200 per person, which IMO is pretty reasonable.

[tx 3 putt 77425]

1 hour ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

This.  If you want to be cremated, I would highly recommend the Neptune Society.  You can pre-purchase a package at today's price.  They take care of everything - come pick up the body, provide a pastor/counselor if needed, take care of social security and other notifications and provide death certificates.  My parents did this, and it took the worry out of all of it, I had to to very little other than to go to their office to pick up paperwork, and to pick up the urn and stuff afterward.  I plan to do this so my spouse/kids don't have to hassle with anything.

The current price for all of this is $3200 per person, which IMO is pretty reasonable.

A friend is paying for a cremation and death certificates this week, $900. They’re burying the ashes on family land later this month. 
 

you can find cremations for $1000 or less

Edited January 3, 2023 by tx 3 putt

[huge 3795]

I haven't read all the responses here but what I need is a chart of accounts spreadsheet.  Something for my wife to reference should I get caught up in a gangland assassination.

Tab for bank accounts

Tab for insurance

Tab for utilities

Tab for retirement accounts

That sort of thing.

Anyone have anything like that they could share?  Yes I am Excel stupid.

[HouTex 1894]

2 hours ago, huge said:

I haven't read all the responses here but what I need is a chart of accounts spreadsheet.  Something for my wife to reference should I get caught up in a gangland assassination.

Tab for bank accounts

Tab for insurance

Tab for utilities

Tab for retirement accounts

That sort of thing.

Anyone have anything like that they could share?  Yes I am Excel stupid.

You must have a lot of accounts.  I have all of our bank/broker/insurance information (account numbers, phone numbers, contact persons) in a Word file that i print on a couple of red pieces paper that my wife keeps in a physical file. I update it as needed.  

[huge 3795]

An accountant friend of mine whipped up a spreadsheet for me.  And yes I have a plethora of pinatas.

[Sawbonz 27588]

23 hours ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

This.  If you want to be cremated, I would highly recommend the Neptune Society.  You can pre-purchase a package at today's price.  They take care of everything - come pick up the body, provide a pastor/counselor if needed, take care of social security and other notifications and provide death certificates.  My parents did this, and it took the worry out of all of it, I had to to very little other than to go to their office to pick up paperwork, and to pick up the urn and stuff afterward.  I plan to do this so my spouse/kids don't have to hassle with anything.

The current price for all of this is $3200 per person, which IMO is pretty reasonable.

 

 

[Horn_Spanker 524]

Depending on the town, East side funeral homes are cheaper than West side ones.  For a cremation, the West side ones wanted $3,200, the East side $1,400.  Dude, apples to apples, I went to the East side!

 

[Judge Roybeanbag 11821]

2 hours ago, HouTex said:

You must have a lot of accounts.  I have all of our bank/broker/insurance information (account numbers, phone numbers, contact persons) in a Word file that i print on a couple of red pieces paper that my wife keeps in a physical file. I update it as needed.  

Thing is, yeah right now you can get some cheap burnt bones, but in 30 years, when you're in your 80s, and your kids are in ICU with liver failure because you were a shitty parent,  who wants to search around for cheap cremation particularly when half of you is metal hip replacements that won't burn?   Just pay the shit now and be done with it.

Edited January 4, 2023 by Judge Roybeanbag

[ScottS 1075]

As of January 1st, if you are in New York state, you are legally able to compost your body.  You can also compost your body in Washington, Colorado, Oregon, Vermont, and California.  Also legal in Sweden if life circumstances lead to you being there when you shed this mortal coil.

Don't know where OP lives but maybe this will save a few bucks when the time comes. Although in the article below the cost of this is roughly the same as a funeral.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-64140571

Quote

New York has become the latest US state to allow so-called human composting.

A person can now have their body turned into soil after their death - which is seen as an environmentally friendly alternative to a burial or cremation.

Also known as "natural organic reduction", the practice sees a body decompose over several weeks after being shut in a container.

In 2019, Washington was the first US state to legalise it. Colorado, Oregon, Vermont and California followed suit.

 

New York is therefore the sixth American jurisdiction to allow human composting, following Saturday's stamp of approval from Kathy Hochul, the state's Democratic governor.

The process happens in special above-ground facilities.

 

A body is put in a closed vessel along with selected materials such as woodchips, alfalfa and straw grass, and gradually breaks down under the action of microbes.

After a period of around a month - and a heating process to kill off any contagion - loved ones are given the resulting soil. This can be used in planting flowers, vegetables or trees.

One US firm, Recompose, has said its service can save a tonne of carbon compared with a cremation or a traditional burial.

Emissions of carbon dioxide are a major contributor to climate change, because they act to trap the Earth's heat in a phenomenon known as the greenhouse effect.

Traditional burials involving a coffin also consume wood, land and other natural resources.

Proponents of human composting say it is not only a more environmental option, but also a more practical one in cities where land for cemeteries is limited.

 

New York's approval of the process was "a huge step for accessible green death care nationwide", one Washington-based provider, Return Home, told the New York Post.

But, for some, there are ethical questions about what happens to the soil which results from the composting.

Catholic bishops in New York state reportedly opposed the legislation, arguing that human bodies should not be treated like "household waste".

Concerns have also been raised about the cost of composting. But the firm Recompose - whose facility in Seattle is one of the world's first - says its $7,000 (£5,786) fee is "comparable" with rival options.

The median sum in the US for a funeral with a burial was $7,848 in 2021, or $6,971 for a funeral with a cremation, according to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA).

Human composting is already legal throughout Sweden. And natural burials - in which a body is buried without a coffin or with a biodegradable coffin - are permitted in the UK.