the 2023 speaker of the house voting thread of implosion

[hayden_horn 11403]

here is what i don't understand.  first thing, I'm sorry to everyone but im high af and I'm going to use some lazy ass gender innapropriate terms in this here post. i hope yall know I'm an ally but right now my vocabulary is limited. 

but here is what i don't get. why is Jim Jordan such a bitch?

like, why is he such a whiny ass bitch?

you know he knows he ain't got the votes. he ain't got em and he ain't gonna get em. so why the fuck is he such a bitch? everyone knows if you don't got the votes you don't go.  you get real humble for awhile, you don't want that shit job anyways, what crazy fucker would, and bow out and refuse and do  some scraping shit with the bowing. you sure ass fuck DO NOT send people after the spouses of your enemies like it's the goddamn byzantine empire and shit.

maintain some fucking dignity. be a fucking man.

christ fucking wept

[hayden_horn 11403]

also yall can shut the fuck up with my granddad up there being two fucking years older than me. what kind of hard ass 1930s lifestyle is that dude living? 

[Gatorubet 30807]

2 minutes ago, hayden_horn said:

also yall can shut the fuck up with my granddad up there being two fucking years older than me. what kind of hard ass 1930s lifestyle is that dude living? 

It is well known in legal circles that the carotid artery is often constricted when wearing a bowtie. This can lead to reduced blood flow and premature aging.

[MrBig 5656]

4 hours ago, Gatorubet said:

it’s the jacket. When he wears it, it’s almost like the Men’s Wearhouse has sold him spun kryptonite. 

Jordan is gonna hate the way they vote.

I guarantee it.

[Hugo Stiglitz 23367]

 

[South Austin 53309]

He’s captured Bin Laden.

[YGIFS 19458]

My god, he finally got D.B. Cooper.

I’m guessing it’s going to be some version of “my committee finally has the Biden Crime Family dead to rights.  The evidence is in this here file. We will be releasing it in two weeks and only after I am elected speaker.  So that this committee can proceed without the speaker election sideshow distracting from doing its legal duty to protect America from these massive abuses of power.”  

[locodos 5594]

10 hours ago, bernorange said:

Why is laughing at someone because of their height socially acceptable?

IDK, the jokes usually go right over their head?

 

9 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

I would never laugh at a short guy for being short.  

I laugh at a short guy that stands on a box (like Mr. Bowtie did a few days back).  I laugh at a short guy that wears lifts in his shoes (like DeSantis).  

But a short guy that owns it?  No problemo. I never said shit about Spud Webb.

No shit, You don't mess with a guy that can break both your ankles and then dunk on you.

[SydneyCarton 49537]

24 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

My god, he finally got D.B. Cooper.

I’m guessing it’s going to be some version of “my committee finally has the Biden Crime Family dead to rights.  The evidence is in this here file. We will be releasing it in two weeks and only after I am elected speaker.  So that this committee can proceed without the speaker election sideshow distracting from doing its legal duty to protect America from these massive abuses of power.”  

You laugh, but my money is absolutely on it being Biden impeachment related. Homeboy is intent on trying to distract from his speaker woes by changing everyone’s attention. It’ll be weak and transparent, but that’s what it is…

[YGIFS 19458]

I wasn't laughing.  You're right, it's running interference on his own shit.  But Jordan's ego demands he try and thread the needle.  Advance the impeachment (irony being he can't get his own floor-vote shit together for his own self-interest, let alone for a formal impeachment inquiry), pretend only he and his committee can get it done, but that he's willing to either step aside from the speaker's race to focus on this (which will save face now but he'll suffer for it later when he's neither speaker or impeaching Biden successfully).  Or that the committee's work can only proceed without the distraction of a Speaker's race, so just go ahead and elect him real quick so they can get back to work on the Biden Criminal Conspiracy and Jordan can shepherd the House through the other important business of the day like laptop inflation.  

He's looking for an exit ramp.  But just before he finally veers back into oncoming traffic, I think he's gonna do one last hail mary and see if he can't convince American MAGA voters that the only way to impeach Biden is with him as Speaker.  They'll really put the screws to their Reps. and force a final 217 vote.  Because that's what MAGA does.  If things don't go their way, they threaten people's families.  

This is how America earns back its global respect you sheeple!  

[WhatTheBuck 28943]

5 hours ago, hayden_horn said:

here is what i don't understand.  first thing, I'm sorry to everyone but im high af and I'm going to use some lazy ass gender innapropriate terms in this here post. i hope yall know I'm an ally but right now my vocabulary is limited. 

but here is what i don't get. why is Jim Jordan such a bitch?

like, why is he such a whiny ass bitch?

you know he knows he ain't got the votes. he ain't got em and he ain't gonna get em. so why the fuck is he such a bitch? everyone knows if you don't got the votes you don't go.  you get real humble for awhile, you don't want that shit job anyways, what crazy fucker would, and bow out and refuse and do  some scraping shit with the bowing. you sure ass fuck DO NOT send people after the spouses of your enemies like it's the goddamn byzantine empire and shit.

maintain some fucking dignity. be a fucking man.

christ fucking wept

He’s a Trump wannabe. 

[Bullneck 19605]

5 hours ago, hayden_horn said:

here is what i don't understand.  first thing, I'm sorry to everyone but im high af and I'm going to use some lazy ass gender innapropriate terms in this here post. i hope yall know I'm an ally but right now my vocabulary is limited. 

but here is what i don't get. why is Jim Jordan such a bitch?

like, why is he such a whiny ass bitch?

you know he knows he ain't got the votes. he ain't got em and he ain't gonna get em. so why the fuck is he such a bitch? everyone knows if you don't got the votes you don't go.  you get real humble for awhile, you don't want that shit job anyways, what crazy fucker would, and bow out and refuse and do  some scraping shit with the bowing. you sure ass fuck DO NOT send people after the spouses of your enemies like it's the goddamn byzantine empire and shit.

maintain some fucking dignity. be a fucking man.

christ fucking wept

Because you have to want it more than the other guy and give 110%.  Obviously you're not a wrestler.

(Edit: and like WTB said ^^^^ if you're convinced by your life's experiences you can just run over people with no consequences, that's what you do.  Always.  There is no Plan B.  Hell, it worked for McCarthy (well it didn't but Jordan isn't nuanced enough to know the difference).

Edited October 20, 2023 by Bullneck

[SubliminalHorn 7012]

Aw it’s story time 

[The Original Greaser Bob 2903]

9 hours ago, Horn Under a Bad Sign said:

No shit. I'm 6'6" and I'll make fun of whatever short person I want. Just like people make fun of me for being an ugly aloholic. 

An ugly lucch aloholic.

[conVINCEd 21477]

10 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

I would never laugh at a short guy for being short.  

I laugh at a short guy that stands on a box (like Mr. Bowtie did a few days back).  I laugh at a short guy that wears lifts in his shoes (like DeSantis).  

But a short guy that owns it?  No problemo. I never said shit about Spud Webb.

Spud Webb was a coach at a basketball camp I went to as a kid. Watching him dunk a basketball from 5 feet away was amazing.  He was probably my height, looked like he was 12 years old, and then for a few glorious seconds he was a god.  Clyde Drexler and Dominique Wilkins were also coaches at that camp, so there was no shortage of dunking badassery present, but Spud stole the show.  He was relatable.  Dominique and Clyde seemed a little annoyed by the fact that all the kids loved Spud.  Anywho, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

[Bookman 4769]

6 hours ago, hayden_horn said:

but here is what i don't get. why is Jim Jordan such a bitch?

like, why is he such a whiny ass bitch?

This is exactly what Republican voters want. They think being whiny is the same as being a strong, effective leader who is fighting for them.

[Wally Fairway 5678]

Carnival barker is back on the stage and the side show monkeys will start griding their music boxes because the show must go on.

These fuckers are really committed to locking down the legislative branch and stalemating the process. They should trade the elephant for the donkey, as they are making assess of themselves and the party. Crash and burn baby, crash and burn.

[Hugo Stiglitz 23367]

 

[Js1 87317]

2 minutes ago, Hugo Stiglitz said:

 

“I’d rather be dead in Israel than alive in DC” 

[Underdog 29248]

7 hours ago, Gatorubet said:

it’s the jacket. When he wears it, it’s almost like the Men’s Wearhouse has sold him spun kryptonite. 

 

[Hugo Stiglitz 23367]

18 minutes ago, Js1 said:

“I’d rather be dead in Israel than alive in DC” 

If enough GQP members don’t show up, it could effectively shut down the voting because Jeffries would be elected speaker due to the skew in numbers.  Do I have this right? Could this happen?

[Js1 87317]

9 minutes ago, Hugo Stiglitz said:

If enough GQP members don’t show up, it could effectively shut down the voting because Jeffries would be elected speaker due to the skew in numbers.  Do I have this right? Could this happen?

They just won’t call a vote or cancel the vote if they have enough R absences that the Dems ends up a majority 

[Hugo Stiglitz 23367]

2 minutes ago, Js1 said:

They just won’t call a vote or cancel the vote if they have enough R absences that the Dems ends up a majority 

Right, that’s what I’m assuming. So then what? No Article 1 because the majority party doesn’t have a majority present? 

[Js1 87317]

When you’ve started to lose Fox News

[Bozo_Casanova 26925]

10 minutes ago, Js1 said:

They just won’t call a vote or cancel the vote if they have enough R absences that the Dems ends up a majority 

OTOH, this would “unite the caucus” and they have more than enough votes under regular order to pass an MTV to remove Jeffries and elect McCarthy. 
They have the majority after all. The Democrats best strategic outcome is here is a coalition, not control. 

Edited October 20, 2023 by Bozo_Casanova

[Aqua Buddha 14813]

9 hours ago, henrygandorf said:

i'm 5'9" i just like tall chicks.

Just say you're 6'3" and 215.

[Mo Horn 8943]

What time is gym's next humiliating defeat today? 

[ConferenceRoom 6214]

10a eastern.

[Bozo_Casanova 26925]

1 minute ago, Mo Horn said:

What time is gym's next humiliating defeat today? 

He's just edging us

[atomheartbevo 90692]

1 hour ago, conVINCEd said:

Spud Webb was a coach at a basketball camp I went to as a kid. Watching him dunk a basketball from 5 feet away was amazing.  He was probably my height, looked like he was 12 years old, and then for a few glorious seconds he was a god.  Clyde Drexler and Dominique Wilkins were also coaches at that camp, so there was no shortage of dunking badassery present, but Spud stole the show.  He was relatable.  Dominique and Clyde seemed a little annoyed by the fact that all the kids loved Spud.  Anywho, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Wow, you have awesome parents.  My parents sent me to a camp that had a "Spuds" only it was a fucking bull terrier wearing sunglasses, and there was a shitload of Bud Light everywhere (apparently it was a 1980s woke camp).

[The Dog 44874]

 

[DDD Dad 14668]

1 hour ago, Hugo Stiglitz said:

 

Well this guy has no room to talk. He’s the one who started all this. /threeyearletterman

[Kringelbert Fishtybuns 947]

1 hour ago, Wally Fairway said:

Carnival barker is back on the stage and the side show monkeys will start griding their music boxes because the show must go on.

These fuckers are really committed to locking down the legislative branch and stalemating the process. They should trade the elephant for the donkey, as they are making assess of themselves and the party. Crash and burn baby, crash and burn.

Must have dozed off.  We made it to Album 2/Side 2.

Sounds about right

So now is when Jim dons the khaki hammer uniform and lines the undesirables against the wall.

Who plays the judge in this version?

[Wally Fairway 5678]

Just now, DDD Dad said:

Well this guy has no room to talk. He’s the one who started all this. /threeyearletterman

Matt Gaetz - representative from Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz | Representing the 1st District of Florida (house.gov)
Matt Gertz - Sr. Fellow at Media Matters Matt Gertz | Media Matters for America

the first one initiated the revolution, the second one is just reporting on it

[atomheartbevo 90692]

 

[A-Tex Devil 2500]

Juxtapose that with Biden from last night.  The lack of self-awareness with Gym and friends.  Man.  

[ConferenceRoom 6214]

4 minutes ago, Wally Fairway said:

Matt Gaetz - representative from Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz | Representing the 1st District of Florida (house.gov)
Matt Gertz - Sr. Fellow at Media Matters Matt Gertz | Media Matters for America

the first one initiated the revolution, the second one is just reporting on it

I believe that was the joke.

Edited October 20, 2023 by ConferenceRoom

[conVINCEd 21477]

9 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

Wow, you have awesome parents.  My parents sent me to a camp that had a "Spuds" only it was a fucking bull terrier wearing sunglasses, and there was a shitload of Bud Light everywhere (apparently it was a 1980s woke camp).

NBA guys weren’t really that rich back then.  They all worked at each others camps in the summer.  This was Rolando Blackman and Derek Harpers camp.    I don’t recall what my mom paid for me to go, but it wasn’t very expensive.  Maybe $100-200 for 3 or 4 days.  Probably 2X what it would’ve cost to send me to daycare, and a whole lot cooler.  Watching Spud, Clyde, and Nique have an impromptu dunk contest in a middle school gym is a fond memory.

[Red Five 41796]

I wonder how long the country can survive with two political parties, when one is the current republican party.

[Wally Fairway 5678]

Just now, Red Five said:

I wonder how long the country can survive with two political parties, when one is the current republican party.

please define the term "survive"

[Doc Sam Beckett 5911]

When discussing the fall of the United States, it's crucial not to underscore the role a message board full of assholes played. The Surl birthed the idea to give Jeffries the speakership, while maintaining the majority. Once this was accomplished, the GOP did what the GOP did best in that time, they blocked everything and blamed the Democrats. 

[Ted Lange 16450]

1 minute ago, Red Five said:

I wonder how long the country can survive with two political parties, when one is the current republican party.

I wonder how long until the Freedom Caucus can't take it any longer and abandons the GOP.   It would be incredibly stupid, but when you consider who makes up the FC, it becomes something not out of the realm of possibility.

[Red Five 41796]

Just now, Wally Fairway said:

please define the term "survive"

Continue to exist in any kind of recognizable form. 

[Genco 3058]

11 minutes ago, Wally Fairway said:

Matt Gaetz - representative from Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz | Representing the 1st District of Florida (house.gov)
Matt Gertz - Sr. Fellow at Media Matters Matt Gertz | Media Matters for America

the first one initiated the revolution, the second one is just reporting on it

[Bozo_Casanova 26925]

11 minutes ago, A-Tex Devil said:

Juxtapose that with Biden from last night.  The lack of self-awareness with Gym and friends.  Man.  

Leaders are fully present in the moment. 
Here's JOrdan reading his texts at the lectern during his own press conference while taking questions about the biggest reason he can't unite his caucus.

 

Edited October 20, 2023 by Bozo_Casanova

[hayden_horn 11403]

10 minutes ago, conVINCEd said:

NBA guys weren’t really that rich back then.  They all worked at each others camps in the summer.  This was Rolando Blackman and Derek Harpers camp.    I don’t recall what my mom paid for me to go, but it wasn’t very expensive.  Maybe $100-200 for 3 or 4 days.  Probably 2X what it would’ve cost to send me to daycare, and a whole lot cooler.  Watching Spud, Clyde, and Nique have an impromptu dunk contest in a middle school gym is a fond memory.

this makes me wonder at the volume of locked away memories in the vault.

until i read this post, i had forgotten that i went to a camp with scottie pippen. I also think it was blackmon and harper.

[DDD Dad 14668]

17 minutes ago, Wally Fairway said:

Matt Gaetz - representative from Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz | Representing the 1st District of Florida (house.gov)
Matt Gertz - Sr. Fellow at Media Matters Matt Gertz | Media Matters for America

the first one initiated the revolution, the second one is just reporting on it

OK Boomer.

[The Dog 44874]

they are clueless

 

[Gatorubet 30807]

16 minutes ago, Red Five said:

I wonder how long the country can survive with two political parties, when one is the current republican party.

Until the year 2126.  

[atomheartbevo 90692]

15 minutes ago, Ted Lange said:

I wonder how long until the Freedom Caucus can't take it any longer and abandons the GOP.   It would be incredibly stupid, but when you consider who makes up the FC, it becomes something not out of the realm of possibility.

Their man is tanned, rested, and ready to fight vaccines.