the 2023 speaker of the house voting thread of implosion

[Satchel 6,983]

18 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Most popular representative in America!*
 

 

*as determined by poll of 50 white males at least 50 years of age and living in rural Ohio. **
 

 

**which would actually be slightly more truthful than gaetz just making it up

In secret, over 100 Republicans voted against him continuing as Speaker nominee. He’s as popular as polio.

[Rimbo 27,092]

33 minutes ago, Pancho said:

I can’t remember the last time I laughed at something that 3-year letterman account

☝️ So this is you, then?

[Gengs1 2,583]

10 minutes ago, Satchel said:

In secret, over 100 Republicans voted against him continuing as Speaker nominee. He’s as popular as polio.

I mean it’s not really fair to polio to be compared to Jim Jordan

[Al Bundy's Napoleon Hand 13,638]

24 minutes ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me because I am a giant asshole who everyone hates.

"What's the real reason" just gets funnier and funnier. Like you can see him consider this for half a second before his Dunning-Kruger kicks in and dismisses it. 

[Chooky 13,342]

If you have a sore throat Jim Jordan's doctor will need to insert two fingers in your ass and then jerk off while you take a shower. 

[tx ind 7,060]

2 hours ago, cactusflinthead said:

 

I want this so badly to be from Comet Pizza.

[dhornf 52]

You think they ate all that pizza before deciding to leave town?

[Pescado_Rojo 19,593]

1 hour ago, The Dog said:

 

Derek, you're up! 

[atomheartbevo 90,686]

1 hour ago, TexasHooch said:

Evil Sonofabitch.

There's something special going on Matt, I just don't think you realize what it is.

[Rimbo 27,092]

40 minutes ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

First they came for the Country Club Republicans, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Country Club Republican.

Then they came for the institutionalists, and I did not speak out—because I was not an institutionalist.

Then they came for the traditional conservatives, and I did not speak out—because I was not a traditional conservative.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me because I am a giant asshole who everyone hates.

there isn't enough rep in the world for how good this is

[Hornsfan863 14]

Since the GQP doesn't want to govern, how long till they boot from the party the 8 who voted out McCarthy and let Democrats govern through a coalition with moderates? Then the GQP can go back to constantly bitching and blaming everything on the Democrats.

This is my fantasy.

[Pescado_Rojo 19,593]

3 minutes ago, Hornsfan863 said:

Since the GQP doesn't want to govern, how long till they boot from the party the 8 who voted out McCarthy and let Democrats govern through a coalition with moderates? Then the GQP can go back to constantly bitching and blaming everything on the Democrats.

This is my fantasy.

Never, because 100+ of them would get primaried and lose their seat to a more extreme MAGAt. There'd probably be more than one attempted assassination before 2024 as well.  

[TexPx 2,337]

What time Monday is the Double-Secret Ballot?

[YGIFS 19,458]

Double secret ballot, Dean McHenry?

[Dbeasy 15,613]

55 minutes ago, Js1 said:

List of who is now running (so far) when we return next week to the Shit Show in DC:

Tom Emmer
Bryon Donalds
Austin Scott
Jack Bergman
Kevin Hern
Mike Johnson
Mark Green

After scanning each name on the list and researching them, I think I just came to the conclusion I can't vote Republican anymore. The whole party leadership is staunchly fixated on the wrong issues.

[Surly Bevo 25,785]

Reporter, “How long until this gets sorted out?”

Republican Party


American People

[Francisco 2.0 32,620]

TOM EMMER, COME ON DOWN!

[Surly Bevo 25,785]

TOM EMMER, COME ON DOWN!

Pay no attention to the fact he’s our fourth choice this year. We really meant him all along.

[Js1 87,303]

He's not the worst - he did chair the NRCC when the red wave didn't happen last year, so he's a bad tactician in campaign strategy. And he's Majority Whip, so counting votes is his job.  He did vote in favor of the Respect for Marriage Act, but the rest of his positions pretty much suck.  

Does have an A-rating on Ukraine funding though. 

[Covri 6,375]

Austin Scott? The dude from the cnn clip? Never have I seen a more punchable face.

 

 

[Hugo Stiglitz 23,367]

Jim Jordan will still get like 10 votes from the crazy caucus and sink whoever the nominee is.  
 

It is known khaleesi 

[TexEx15 17,960]

1 hour ago, Macanudo said:

Isn't that Kirk Ferentz?   

 

Hahaha.

 

[TexasHooch 5,216]

13 minutes ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

TOM EMMER, COME ON DOWN!
 

Tom Emmer- MN 6th District 

 

If you don't know him, you may recognize his predecessor.  

 

[TexasHooch 5,216]

Funny, Batshit crazy Michele Bachmann wouldn't be considered in the top 50 today.

[tokamak 6,687]

2 minutes ago, Hugo Stiglitz said:

Jim Jordan will still get like 10 votes from the crazy caucus and sink whoever the nominee is.  
 

It is known khaleesi 

Exactly. Gaetz and his group don't care about governing and there's enough of them to torpedo any nominee. They already had a speaker that gave them a lot but not EVERYTHING and they voted him out. What's going to be different this time?

[TexArcher 39,078]

5 minutes ago, TexasHooch said:

Funny, Batshit crazy Michele Bachmann wouldn't be considered in the top 50 today.

If she were in the next GOP primary debate, she'd be in the top 3 reasonable choices.

[A-Tex Devil 2,500]

If I am Emmer or anyone running, I condition it on removing the single rep right to move to vacate, which is why we won't have a speaker for very long.  I am curious if you asked Matt Gaetz what he thought would happen when he ousted McCathy what he'd say he expected to happen. I halfway think this is exactly what he wanted.    

[Wally Fairway 5,678]

1 minute ago, tokamak said:

 What's going to be different this time?

If I thought they were reasonable or intelligent, then I would say that they fucked around and found out. But I really doubt that they can change their game, so it will continue until someone has to introduce he bill to empower Patrick McHenry to do the work of the Speaker. Though honestly I don't see how that really ever passes.

reminder - Zero democrats voted no on the Republican caucus secret ballot if Gym Jordan should be the candidate for the 4th try. Which means they will have to order their own pizza this weekend.

[Pato del Muerto 53,606]

1 hour ago, Js1 said:

Too bad Biden can't dissolve the House and we have 435 new snap elections

Where does it explicitly say he cant?

[chainsaw 10,312]

1 minute ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Where does it explicitly say he cant?

Trump would do it. Might not work, but he'd try.

[Beau Vine 55,895]

2 hours ago, Horn Dog said:

Yes but can someone please share the REAL reason the majority voted against Gym ?

Spoiler

 

[Ghost of LL 15,705]

1 hour ago, Js1 said:

Your theory would have to get past Harlan Crow's bitch, Gorsuch, Handmaids Tale, Scalia, Roberts and Beer Boy.

Im coming around on @Ghost of LL wanting a parliamentary system. Democracy simply doesn’t work 

I mean, parliamentary democracy is democracy.

Just ask the fine people in Tamworth and Mid Bedfordshire.

[atomheartbevo 90,686]

50 minutes ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

TOM EMMER, COME ON DOWN!

[Js1 87,303]

2 minutes ago, Ghost of LL said:

I mean, parliamentary democracy is democracy.

Just ask the fine people in Tamworth and Mid Bedfordshire.

AMERICAN Democracy simply doesn’t work anymore 

[Serak The Preparer 3,484]

Sorry @Chuckie Finster - I had to repigami you before @Rimbo saw the chance to change his rep. I'll hit you up on another post.

[SubliminalHorn 7,012]

3 minutes ago, Js1 said:

AMERICAN Democracy simply doesn’t work anymore 

It’s struggling around the world right now

[Js1 87,303]

6 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

[Rimbo 27,092]

4 minutes ago, Serak The Preparer said:

Sorry @Chuckie Finster - I had to repigami you before @Rimbo saw the chance to change his rep. I'll hit you up on another post.

[Bullneck 19,585]

Ali Vitali is reporting now.

[TexasEd 8,269]

21 minutes ago, Js1 said:

lol, time to get 100 dems to add to the pile on against T&T

[Aqua Buddha 14,810]

27 minutes ago, Bullneck said:

Ali Vitali is reporting now.

Fun name to say.  Say it fast three times.

[F250 29,209]

1 hour ago, Surly Bevo said:

Pay no attention to the fact he’s our fourth choice this year. We really meant him all along.

[Pods 7,638]

20 - 25 Republicans are willing to go public with their opposition to Jordan. 

122 of them are willing to do so secretly. 

Not that we didn't know it, but this spells out very clearly at least 4/5 House Republicans are fucking cowards that would sacrifice the welfare of the country for personal gain. 

 

3 hours ago, shakahorn said:

Most popular republican in congress?  Is that like 'tallest midget?'

Damn, y'all are just roasting McHenry. 

[Hugo Stiglitz 23,367]

The ending the GQP deserves 

 

[Bookman 4,769]

6 minutes ago, Hugo Stiglitz said:

The ending the GQP deserves 

 

Lemme tell you what the modern-day Republican Party is about. It's all about this cooze who's a regular fuck machine, I'm talking morning, day, night, afternoon, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick. Then one day she meets this John Holmes motherfucker and it's like, whoa baby, I mean this cat is like Charles Bronson in the 'Great Escape', he's digging tunnels. Now, she's gettin' the serious dick action and she's feeling something she ain't felt since forever. Pain. Pain. It hurts her. It shouldn't hurt her, you know, her pussy should be Bubble Yum by now, but when this cat fucks her it hurts. It hurts just like it did the first time. You see the pain is reminding a fuck machine what it once was like to be a virgin.

[YGIFS 19,458]

So wait, who’s the Charlie Bronson in this metaphor Mr. Blue?

[Bookman 4,769]

4 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

So wait, who’s the Charlie Bronson in this metaphor Mr. Blue?

Donald Trump.

[Bookman 4,769]

The Republican Party is not about this sensitive girl who meets a nice fella. That's what Bernie Sanders is about, now, granted, no argument about that.

[YGIFS 19,458]

3 minutes ago, Bookman said:

Donald Trump.

You’re gonna gonna compare the least

masculine, limp Dick, mushroom cock cuck assclown to ever hold the Oval Office to Mutha Fuckin’ Charlie Bronson, motherfucking Mister Majestic?

[Bookman 4,769]

Just now, YGIFS said:

You’re gonna gonna compare the least

masculine, limp Dick, mushroom cock cuck assclown to ever hold the Oval Office to Mutha Fuckin’ Charlie Bronson, motherfucking Mister Majestic?

Are you kidding? 60% of elected Republicans would literally take it in the ass from Trump. And that other 40% would let him fondle their assholes. They love the pain.

That's where the modern day Republican Party is.