the 2023 speaker of the house voting thread of implosion

[YGIFS 19449]

And of course he's a high-ranking member on the subcommittee for financial regulation and antitrust.  

"Look, this subcommittee needs an independent, fresh perspective.  I can be more effective by banking with my imaginary friend, Toby.  That was I'm not encumbered by the big lobby banking establishment.  No, not lobbyists.  Like the actual giant lobby of a bank branch with the stained chairs and expired magazines.  Who needs it, amirite America?"  

[Js1 85056]

8 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

How do you live to be 51 years old in the United States and not have had a bank account in your name at some point?  How the fuck do you buy a house without a bank account?

Harlan Crowe buys it and you pay him back by sponsoring and supporting legislation that makes him richer?

[Hugo Stiglitz 23356]

Odds of Mike Johnson eventually going to prison for something seem kinda high at this point. 

[Brisketexan 104462]

6 minutes ago, Hugo Stiglitz said:

Odds of Mike Johnson eventually going to prison for something seem kinda high at this point. 

Oh my sweet summer child.

[Hugo Stiglitz 23356]

1 minute ago, Brisketexan said:

Oh my sweet summer child.

Him being from Louisiana gets a bonus.  We had a Governor runoff between two guys that both ended up doing hard time and one of those guys was David Duke.

[YGIFS 19449]

Mr. Speaker, how do you explain this?

"Well, it's that I'm kind of between banks right now."

For the past 33 years, you've been between banks?

"Yes, that's correct.  My last bank was in Canada.  I met the banker while on Spring Break at Niagara Falls, you see." 

Let me guess, your new banker is named...

"You guessed it!  George Santos!" 

[Post Oak 20182]

41 minutes ago, tx 3 putt said:

 

 

Try searching under Putin, Vladimir.

[tx 3 putt 76158]

3 minutes ago, Post Oak said:

 

Try searching under Putin, Vladimir.

 

[Guest]

Seriously, where does his salary for being a member of congress go? Is he getting a printed check and heading here:

[tx 3 putt 76158]

46 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Well, see, a bank account number is a Mark of the Beast. Real Christians don’t use secular banks. They use Biblical Banking, which coincidentally, requires no reporting or tracking of curious chunks of money coming in from dubious or unidentified sources.
Thanks for asking, you Satanist bastard.

[Covri 6229]

He banks under the name Mike Hawk

['stache 21743]

I'm not convinced he's a real person. The most basic name imaginable for a clone or robot.

[BamaATL 16592]

I'm guessing his wife is of the believe that getting a bank account is how one might contract "the gay"

Edited November 1, 2023 by BamaATL

[crash_davis 23078]

Doesn't get more Christian than hiding your money and where it's coming from!

Fucking bullshit "christians" ruining this country. Fuck them.

[High Plains Drifter 10970]

On 10/30/2023 at 8:56 PM, The Dog said:

 

 

I hope McConnell slaps him with his dewlap.

 

[texasdago 7550]

Maybe he uses the same bank as Mike Pence.  Mother. 

[YGIFS 19449]

Let's just all say it and get it over with.  We know it's coming.  We know it's in poor taste given what's happening geopolitically.  But we all know it's right there.  

Mike Johnson doesn't trust traditional banks because they're run by the Jews.  

wait for it...

[Dbeasy 14953]

Who replaces McConnell when he gets runs over in the middle of the street, or flipped on his back, on the way to the House. 

[Pig Bellmont 8679]

No assets reported for 7 years? That’s not an accident- he’s hiding Menendez levels of corruption. Some Mormon golden tablets stashed next to his dildo collection 

[Red Five 40593]

Salary of roughly $200k a year. Seriously, have they been paying him in cash? 

[kevwun 15595]

He gets paid in gold bullion.

[Irwin F Fletcher 3550]

It's got to be tiresome to head to your nearest check cashing kiosk every two weeks.

[Judge Roybeanbag 11796]

1 hour ago, Dbeasy said:

Who replaces McConnell when he gets runs over in the middle of the street, or flipped on his back, on the way to the House. 

or tossed into a roux by Johnson for turtle soup.

[Beau Vine 53964]

2 hours ago, texasdago said:

Maybe he uses the same bank as Mike Pence.  Mother. 

[atomheartbevo 89362]

6 hours ago, YGIFS said:

How do you live to be 51 years old in the United States and not have had a bank account in your name at some point? 

In his name is the key phrase,  plenty of people have bank accounts in somebody else’s name, so that they aren’t directly tied to them.

Unfortunately even a half-assed search warrant or court order can turn them, but it can be hard for a nosy spouse.

[coachherman'sgrill 1977]

I know I say this flippantly but we all know this guy is gay. Not that that matters at all. But he is so closeted because of his hate that he can't admit it. The more things change, the more the stay the same. And who cares who he is banging until they make it something so central to their life. Maybe only worry about yourself and who gives a shit about what anyone else is doing as long as it doesn't harm you? Make me understand these fucking weirdos.

Edited November 2, 2023 by coachherman'sgrill

[NWBuck 8543]

3 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

In his name is the key phrase,  plenty of people have bank accounts in somebody else’s name, so that they aren’t directly tied to them. 

I've heard that's where they keep all the gold in California 

[Judge Roybeanbag 11796]

All I know is that if Saturday Night Live does a parody, Stephen Colbert is a dead ringer.

[Scheiss Meister 8398]

6 hours ago, kevwun said:

He gets paid in gold bullion.

Or he's put it all into gold and holds it somewhere.

[Pato del Muerto 52321]

44 minutes ago, NWBuck said:

I've heard that's where they keep all the gold in California 

In Beverly hills

[Biff Tannen 45477]

2 hours ago, coachherman'sgrill said:

I know I say this flippantly but we all know this guy is gay. Not that that matters at all. But he is so closeted because of his hate that he can't admit it. The more things change, the more the stay the same. And who cares who he is banging until they make it something so central to their life. Maybe only worry about yourself and who gives a shit about what anyone else is doing as long as it doesn't harm you? Make me understand these fucking weirdos.

Religion does stupid shit to stupid people

[Pescado_Rojo 19327]

6 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

In Beverly hills

In somebody else’s name 

[atomheartbevo 89362]

27 minutes ago, Scheiss Meister said:

Or he's put it all into gold and holds it somewhere.

So he's a leprechaun?

[Superhero 8736]

20 minutes ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

In somebody else’s name 

Louis Anderson?

[Scheiss Meister 8398]

2 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

So he's a leprechaun?

Something about a rainbow goes here, but I'm too tired to think of it.

[Horn Dog 9644]

9 hours ago, Covri said:

He banks under the name Mike Hawk

Mike Johnson?   Maybe try Mike Hunt.

[henrygandorf 29174]

uh, the dude is from louisiana.  he obviously cashes his checks at the casino every other friday.  this is not news, guys.

[Guest]

8 hours ago, henrygandorf said:

uh, the dude is from louisiana.  he obviously cashes his checks at the casino every other friday.  this is not news, guys.

"If this yo bet hits, it's just God's will. Now come on shooter, hit that sumbitch."

Edited November 2, 2023 by FirstTimeCaller

[Aqua Buddha 14488]

Wait, he has fake adopted black son?  What the fuck?

https://unprecedented.ghost.io/archive/mike-johnsons-black-son/

[tx 3 putt 76158]

 

[Captainant 27309]

35 minutes ago, Aqua Buddha said:

Wait, he has fake adopted black son?  What the fuck?

https://unprecedented.ghost.io/archive/mike-johnsons-black-son/

[The Dog 43771]

Quote

Former staffers criticized Mace’s decision to vote to oust former Speaker Kevin McCarthy. Mace later used her vote to cast herself as a maverick, fundraising aggressively off the move.

But according to a former senior aide, she didn’t actually care all that much. “She saw the votes on the board and said, ‘Fuck it, I’m just gonna vote for it just so I can go on TV and talk about it.’”

 

[Bozo_Casanova 26232]

56 minutes ago, tx 3 putt said:

 

Most people who wear shirts like that are completely full of shit

[Brisketexan 104462]

51 minutes ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

Most people who wear shirts like that are completely full of shit

And also experience deep self-loathing arising from their inner desire/compulsion to suck about a mile of dick.

[Macanudo 12922]

Are we talking about Mace, Barton or both of them?

[Red Five 40593]

Mace in the A shirt does it for me. I wish it weren't so, but it is. 

[Macanudo 12922]

Just now, Red Five said:

Mace in the A shirt does it for me. I wish it weren't so, but it is. 

Do you really want to wake up missing a kidney or with a rabbit boilng on the stove top?

[The Dog 43771]

9 minutes ago, Macanudo said:

Do you really want to wake up missing a kidney or with a rabbit boilng on the stove top?

she's nuts.

and is probably worthy of her own thread based on the article. she's ALL IN on grift and self promotion and nothing else. she believes in nothing other than "how can I use this to get on TV?"

[BamaATL 16592]

Just now, The Dog said:

she's nuts.

and is probably worthy of her own thread based on the article. she's ALL IN on grift and self promotion and nothing else. she believes in nothing other than "how can I use this to get on TV?"

The new Republican motto

[David Dennison 18603]

19 minutes ago, Macanudo said:

Do you really want to wake up missing a kidney or with a rabbit boilng on the stove top?