the 2023 speaker of the house voting thread of implosion

[Biff Tannen 45,685]

1 minute ago, Rimbo said:

I haven't facepalmed about childhood idiocy this hard since Nicole told me half the girls in our high school wanted to band me. "Thanks, Nicole for telling me this thirty years later when I can't do shit about it."

i had no clue

Wait, Nicole from this site?

[Bozo_Casanova 26,460]

1 hour ago, Firemans4Horn said:

It's perfect, basically a renaissance painting
 

Edited October 17, 2023 by Bozo_Casanova

[YGIFS 19,450]

no, Nicole Eggert from "Charles in Charge", Biff.  And yes, we're voting for Scott Baio as Speaker of the House.  Try to keep up dude, we gotta Republic to run.

[Rimbo 25,933]

2 minutes ago, locodos said:

Yeah, but you know, the whole government shutdown/default thing is going to be a massive bummer. 

Yeah. This. I do want a functioning government. Even if the Democrats were useless for the two years they had the House and the presidency.

[LCHorn 2,620]

1 minute ago, Rimbo said:

half the girls in our high school wanted to band me.

Is that some kind of boomer jargon for getting it on?

[Rimbo 25,933]

3 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

Wait, Nicole from this site?

yeah, believe it or not, some of us actually know each other IRL

1 minute ago, LCHorn said:

Is that some kind of boomer jargon for getting it on?

no it's a stupid fuckin typo god dammit... edits post

[SydneyCarton 48,106]

 

6 minutes ago, Rimbo said:

I haven't facepalmed about childhood idiocy this hard since Nicole told me half the girls in our high school wanted to band me. "Thanks, Nicole for telling me this thirty years later when I can't do shit about it."

i had no clue

I mean, that actually makes a lot of sense. Maybe not the way you want it to, but everyone finds that statement to be totally believable. 

I'm thinking more of a clarinet guy, but I guess I could see you as a French Horn. Or one of those guys who insists the Viola is better than a violin. 

1 minute ago, Rimbo said:

yeah, believe it or not, some of us actually know each other IRL

no it's a stupid fuckin typo god dammit... edits post

Edited October 17, 2023 by SydneyCarton

[Rimbo 25,933]

8 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

Yeah, you could have.  But then you wouldn't celebrate Richard Marx's entire catalogue as passionately as you do now.

Hey, Marx was actually doing some good songwriting in-between all the good metal and new wave bands breaking up and/or going to rehab and the rise of Seattle...

 

Shit, that was weak. The late 80s were a shitty time for pop music.

[Biff Tannen 45,685]

1 minute ago, Rimbo said:

yeah, believe it or not, some of us actually know each other IRL

I've met some of you at the last couple of tailgates and I'm glad I don't know y'all IRL.  Surly is just as drunk and gross as I figured.

[Brisketexan 105,139]

4 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

no, Nicole Eggert from "Charles in Charge", Biff.  And yes, we're voting for Scott Baio as Speaker of the House.  Try to keep up dude, we gotta Republic to run.

[SydneyCarton 48,106]

1 minute ago, Biff Tannen said:

I've met some of you at the last couple of tailgates and I'm glad I don't know y'all IRL.  Surly is just as drunk and gross as I figured.

Not all of us. Some of us stop by for a few minutes before we get drunk elsewhere. 

[Rimbo 25,933]

2 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

I mean, that actually makes a lot of sense. Maybe not the way you want it to, but everyone finds that statement to be totally believable. 

i actually believed i was getting by on my winning personality

Me. A good personality.

Yeah. Obviously delusional.

[Red Five 40,858]

1 minute ago, Rimbo said:

Shit, that was weak. The late 80s were a shitty time for pop music.

My Columbia House experience was a few years later. I think I was ordering Dave Matthews and Gin Blossoms. 

[NIUHuskies 504]

1 minute ago, Red Five said:

My Columbia House experience was a few years later. I think I was ordering Dave Matthews and Gin Blossoms. 

Bmg'd Ween...

[YGIFS 19,450]

1 minute ago, Biff Tannen said:

I've met some of you at the last couple of tailgates and I'm glad I don't know y'all IRL.  Surly is just as drunk and gross as I figured.

Surly tailgates are just as drunk and gross as the U.S. House of Representatives.  Only difference is we actually get shit done at Surly.  

A fun drinking game would be for the BYU game.  Hold continuous rounds of voting on Speaker of the Tent.  If nobody wins a majority, you keep shotgunning beers until either somebody wins, somebody passes out, or a Mormon girl offers to soak the Speaker Pro Tent.  I mean Temp.  I mean, it'd have to be my tent.  

[Hugo Stiglitz 23,367]

Update on proceedings

 

[Covri 6,249]

9 minutes ago, LCHorn said:

Is that some kind of boomer jargon for getting it on?

[YGIFS 19,450]

1 minute ago, Hugo Stiglitz said:

Update on proceedings

 

Edited October 17, 2023 by YGIFS
If that ain't ironic foreshadowing, I don't know what the fuck is...

[Brisketexan 105,139]

2 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

Surly tailgates are just as drunk and gross as the U.S. House of Representatives.  Only difference is we actually get shit done at Surly.  

Having Immamac as our Boebert is definitely a downgrade, though.

[Nice Guy Eddie 13,512]

2 hours ago, The Dog said:

 

This is the most likely scenario. Not today, not tomorrow but eventually enough Republicans will ask for McCarthy to come back. He will demand something like the low bar to vacate the Speaker. Of course that doesn't get him elected. I'm still unsure what would convince the Gaetz crew to go with McCarthy and I don't see Dems going with McCarthy without some big giveaways.

[Gatorubet 30,238]

12 minutes ago, Rimbo said:

I haven't facepalmed about childhood idiocy this hard since Nicole told me half the girls in our high school wanted to bang me. "Thanks, Nicole for telling me this thirty years later when I can't do shit about it."

i had no clue

Nicole told me none of the high school girls in her class wanted to bang me. And that the candy and unmarked van were really creepy.

[SydneyCarton 48,106]

1 minute ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

This is the most likely scenario. Not today, not tomorrow but eventually enough Republicans will ask for McCarthy to come back. He will demand something like the low bar to vacate the Speaker. Of course that doesn't get him elected. I'm still unsure what would convince the Gaetz crew to go with McCarthy and I don't see Dems going with McCarthy without some big giveaways.

It's going to take giveaways no matter what. To the point that i think it's a legit question whether they'll compromise with Dems, or if they'll just sit and stew in their own shit for the next month and well after the governenment shutdown. Gun to my head, I honestly think they even the "moderates" would rather take the stick than have to compromise to Democrats. 

[Brisketexan 105,139]

3 minutes ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

This is the most likely scenario. Not today, not tomorrow but eventually enough Republicans will ask for McCarthy to come back. He will demand something like the low bar to vacate the Speaker. Of course that doesn't get him elected. I'm still unsure what would convince the Gaetz crew to go with McCarthy and I don't see Dems going with McCarthy without some big giveaways.

And that's why McCarthy won't happen as well.

There is no viable path for a Republican speaker.  Because "the Republican Party" is not a thing that exists.  Sure, they all have the same consonant next to their names, but the modern GQP is a failed coalition government.  If we were a parliamentary system, their government would have collapsed long ago, and the MAGAs would be just another pathetic (albeit bigger than it should be) protofascist party on the outside looking in.

2 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

It's going to take giveaways no matter what. To the point that i think it's a legit question whether they'll compromise with Dems, or if they'll just sit and stew in their own shit for the next month and well after the governenment shutdown. Gun to my head, I honestly think they even the "moderates" would rather take the stick than have to compromise to Democrats. 

And this.

[Nice Guy Eddie 13,512]

what are the odds that they hold another vote tonight? I don't see it happening unless Jordan gets firm commitments that the Nos are 5 or less. Then he can count on that many of the Nos are cowards and don't want to be in a group of 3 that are keeping Jordan from being Speaker.

I assume that if Jordan can't get those commitments, they won't call another vote just to humiliate him more.

[The Dog 44,051]

 

[Beau Vine 54,227]

1 minute ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

what are the odds that they hold another vote tonight? I don't see it happening unless Jordan gets firm commitments that the Nos are 5 or less. Then he can count on that many of the Nos are cowards and don't want to be in a group of 3 that are keeping Jordan from being Speaker.

I assume that if Jordan can't get those commitments, they won't call another vote just to humiliate him more.

Your problem is that you're thinking like you have a brain in your head.  

Why did they call the first vote?

[YGIFS 19,450]

2 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

And that's why McCarthy won't happen as well.

There is no viable path for a Republican speaker.  Because "the Republican Party" is not a thing that exists.  Sure, they all have the same consonant next to their names, but the modern GQP is a failed coalition government.  If we were a parliamentary system, their government would have collapsed long ago, and the MAGAs would be just another pathetic (albeit bigger than it should be) protofascist party on the outside looking in.

-Laugh all you want at every single Republican.  At least a handful of them know how to read the complimentary wall calendar from Cafe Rio.  They know they still have 15 months to "govern" and they can't continue with this hodge-podge shit.  If this were 4-5 months from now, they'd all say "fuck it" and burn it from the inside.  But too many of them are too close to losing fundraising leverage, committee power, and even primaries.  Never mind a handful of them actually give a shit about what we do about Israel and Ukraine.  But yeah, if we were a Parliamentarian system or even a hybrid ranked voting system, this would look entirely different than it does now.  And that's saying something.  But oh yeah, it's totally Biden's fault we're not respected around the world.  We have the simplest fucking set of rules for bringing forth a Head of the Legislative Branch and we're literally inventing new ways to fuck it up on the fly with zero sense of irony.

-Now then, did Trump try and pull a "send a dead fish to my enemies" Godfather move by sending taco salads to the GOP house members?  Why yes, yes I think he did.  Did I call Seven Corners Taco Rio to inquire "Mr. Trump wanted to verify his credit card was processed correctly, I'm his assistant."  Maybe.  Did they tell me the manager would call back?  Likely protocol.  Am I probably on a secret service watch list now?  Could be.  Will I be starting a line of delicious tex-mex restaurants and merch called "TacoGate"?  Yes, yes I will be. 

[Pig Bellmont 8,718]

3 minutes ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

what are the odds that they hold another vote tonight?

If there is any credibility to the rumors that some of the nos will vote present in a second vote, no chance 

[Brisketexan 105,139]

If Gymbo calls for another vote at this rate, he's looking at the last remaining debris of his dignity and self-respect being pummeled like this:

[The Dog 44,051]

[Js1 85,336]

5 minutes ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

what are the odds that they hold another vote tonight? I don't see it happening unless Jordan gets firm commitments that the Nos are 5 or less. Then he can count on that many of the Nos are cowards and don't want to be in a group of 3 that are keeping Jordan from being Speaker.

I assume that if Jordan can't get those commitments, they won't call another vote just to humiliate him more.

Apparently not happening

[The Dog 44,051]

 

Yup they adjourned for the day. No vote until tomorrow:

 

[tokamak 6,430]

Why do Scalise supporters have their panties in such a wad if Scalise himself voted for Jordan? I bet they end up folding after a little arm twisting.

[Biff Tannen 45,685]

19 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

Gun to my head, I honestly think they even the "moderates" would rather take the stick than have to compromise to Democrats. 

YEP

[Nice Guy Eddie 13,512]

1 minute ago, tokamak said:

Why do Scalise supporters have their panties in such a wad if Scalise himself voted for Jordan? I bet they end up folding after a little arm twisting.

More than few Never Jordans fell to the pressure over the weekend so it wouldn't shock me if Jordan received an unanimous win tomorrow. 

[The Dog 44,051]

 

2 minutes ago, tokamak said:

Why do Scalise supporters have their panties in such a wad if Scalise himself voted for Jordan? I bet they end up folding after a little arm twisting.

because Scalise himself doesn't want Jordan to get it. letting his backers do the dirty work.

[Chad Fuck 17,681]

3 minutes ago, tokamak said:

Why do Scalise supporters have their panties in such a wad if Scalise himself voted for Jordan? I bet they end up folding after a little arm twisting.

They don't care about him.  He's just a convenient excuse to do what they want to do.  It's called politics.  

[Pato del Muerto 52,498]

10 minutes ago, Js1 said:

Apparently not happening

Got to hit chili’s for their $199.99 dinner. 

[Captain Obvious 516]

11 minutes ago, tokamak said:

Why do Scalise supporters have their panties in such a wad if Scalise himself voted for Jordan? I bet they end up folding after a little arm twisting.

Easier for a few randoms to do the dirty work for the higher ups.  You really think McCarthy is cool with Jordan being speaker either?  He can play along and say he did his part while a few of his backers voted for him instead of Jordan.

[RomaVicta 29,907]

1 hour ago, Horndog said:

So if he continues to lose, will he become Gymbo? 

 

1 hour ago, DixonHur said:

No Lauren, I said jacket, not jack it!

[YGIFS 19,450]

1 hour ago, DixonHur said:

No Lauren, I said jacket, not jack it!

Whynotboth.meme

Just now, YGIFS said:

Whynotboth.meme

shit, did I finally cut and paste an image properly?  Make me speaker, this is one for our side! 

[atomheartbevo 89,666]

3 hours ago, ConferenceRoom said:

The beauty of that scene, and why it's so representative of this shitshow, is that the fire extinguisher that he tries to put the fire out with inexplicably catches fire as well.

[henrygandorf 29,191]

2 hours ago, YChang said:

So he does wear a jacket...

jim got all dressed up for his big day...

[GopherRock 1,765]

If this were a parliamentary House, it would mean that these clowns would be facing a general election on or about Halloween.

The factional nature of what's left of the Republican Party means that we have all the drawbacks of a hung Parliament without any of the benefits or remedies. 

[Brisketexan 105,139]

1 minute ago, henrygandorf said:

jim got all dressed up for his big day...

[Gatorubet 30,238]

3 minutes ago, henrygandorf said:

jim got all dressed up for his big day...

I wish I could rep this 10 times

[henrygandorf 29,191]

the thing is that i was actually looking for him walking into the room, but saw this one first, and sometimes you just know.

[Aqua Buddha 14,596]

8 minutes ago, henrygandorf said:

jim got all dressed up for his big day...

[YGIFS 19,450]

I could see Gandorf going with the one where Tommy is going into the house with McCarthy behind him and Tommy/Jim saying, "Hey, I bet this brings back a lotta memories for you." before he meets his end.  But I can hear the mom's voice adjusting Tommy's suit and it just works.  But if we can cut 'n paste McCarthy and Paul Ryan driving Tommy into the garage and following him into the basement, that'd be cool too.  

[henrygandorf 29,191]

well that sounds like a lot of work.