the 2023 speaker of the house voting thread of implosion

[The Dog 43,792]

Remember there are about a dozen more who voted for him but will bail on him in the next vote.

[YGIFS 19,449]

Jim Jordan searching for his jacket like Stacks looking for his pants.  With Carlos Gimenez as Tommy, mumbling, "Yeah, you're late for your own fucking funeral (pop!)..."  

Edited October 19, 2023 by YGIFS

[Biff Tannen 45,491]

10 minutes ago, Kyrie Eleison said:

Who the fuck is the upper left?

[Surly Bevo 24,695]

After “The Batshit Bunch” title fades Jeffries can be Alice in the middle looking out like “you see the shit I gotta put up with”.

[Biff Tannen 45,491]

59 minutes ago, Ted Lange said:

No, but the White House is gonna need a much smaller version of the Resolute Desk

[South Austin 52,128]

1 minute ago, Biff Tannen said:

Who the fuck is the upper left?

George Santos.

[Nice Guy Eddie 13,409]

The House appears to have never considered that the majority party could never decide on a candidate for Speaker. There should be a rule that after X days, they should shift to a plurality of the votes.  If the majority can’t decide then they really don’t have a majority.

[YGIFS 19,449]

Wait, he ran for Congress under his stage name?  

[C-Man 27,041]

4 minutes ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

The House appears to have never considered that the majority party could never decide on a candidate for Speaker. There should be a rule that after X days, they should shift to a plurality of the votes.  If the majority can’t decide then they really don’t have a majority.

[Ted Lange 16,041]

 

[Aqua Buddha 14,501]

22 minutes ago, Ted Lange said:

 

 

Wow.  Saucy....

 

[SimonBolivar 10,911]

2 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

I'm gonna go with "murder was unnecessary, he choked on a Hot Pocket while playing video games" and "nobody cared about his super awesome action figure collection."  What do I win?

Don't be an idiot, my mom says they're amazing.

[TheStoicPaisano 9,904]

He’s dead (Jim)

 

[Felix 599]

I've gotten the "this is the dems fault" comment a few times. I eventually settled on "you should look up the word "majority" in the dictionary."

[Biff Tannen 45,491]

1 minute ago, Felix said:

I've gotten the "this is the dems fault" comment a few times. I eventually settled on "you should look up the word "majority" in the dictionary."

WHY IS EVERYONE SO GOD DAMNED STUPID?!?!?  WHY?!????

[The Dog 43,792]

 

[safe sex 11,678]

Sucks to suck, Buck 

[atomheartbevo 89,407]

12 minutes ago, Felix said:

I've gotten the "this is the dems fault" comment a few times. I eventually settled on "you should look up the word "majority" in the dictionary."

11 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

WHY IS EVERYONE SO GOD DAMNED STUPID?!?!?  WHY?!????

You guys need to roll with it.  If somebody you know does the "WHY WON'T DEMOCRATS WORK WITH THE REPUBLICANS" you need to roll with it and say "Wait, you think the Republicans should be working with the Democrats?  Wow, never thought I'd hear you say that, but I like that you think the Republicans should work with the Democrats, that's the kind of bipartisanship come-together spirit that this country has been sorely lacking for years!  I'm so proud of you!"

[aggie08 21,424]

11 minutes ago, The Dog said:

 

Those fucking leopards, man! I thought they'd be chill.

[texasdago 7,552]

His landlord... lie with dogs... 

[Pasken 1,309]

1 hour ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

The House appears to have never considered that the majority party could never decide on a candidate for Speaker. There should be a rule that after X days, they should shift to a plurality of the votes.  If the majority can’t decide then they really don’t have a majority.

This would trigger an election in other countries, right? If the PM can’t put together a coalition government?

[Rimbo 25,772]

3 hours ago, SydneyCarton said:

The longer this goes on, the more stupid Americans will convince themselves that the Democrats did in fact do this. 

 

3 hours ago, Hugo Stiglitz said:

 

 

[Post Oak 20,183]

24 minutes ago, The Dog said:

 

[Rimbo 25,772]

2 hours ago, ConferenceRoom said:

Your friends might very well be immune to logic. 

no one is immune to a well-made meme

[The Royal We 3,065]

37 minutes ago, Felix said:

I've gotten the "this is the dems fault" comment a few times. I eventually settled on "you should look up the word "majority" in the dictionary."

I’ve heard this too. My response has been

- Who put forward the Motion to Vacate? Who agreed to the rules that allowed one chucklefuck to introduce the MTV?

<blank stare>

[tchookem 3,900]

Ok--exactly what constitutional concerns?  Seriously, I want a legal cite to the section of the Constitution that could even arguably be violated.
 
 
 
Hint: there isn't one.

Chip Roy pulls his head out of his ass just long enough to talk out of it.

[SpiralOut 1,809]

These fuckwit Republicans really are gonna fuck around until Jefferies ends up the Speaker.

 

[Ghost of LL 15,477]

 

[David Dennison 18,651]

6 minutes ago, SpiralOut said:

These fuckwit Republicans really are gonna fuck around until Jefferies ends up the Speaker.

[The Dog 43,792]

3 minutes ago, Ghost of LL said:

 

[TwiceHorn 31,262]

10 hours ago, Ghost of LL said:

Ok--exactly what constitutional concerns?  Seriously, I want a legal cite to the section of the Constitution that could even arguably be violated.

 

 

 

Hint: there isn't one.

Just like most GOP "constitutional concerns" other than 2A, there aren't any.  Because current GQP'ers don't even wipe their ass with the constitution.  That would imply an intimacy with the document that doesn't exist.

Edited October 20, 2023 by TwiceHorn

[DixonHur 11,170]

[South Austin 52,128]

And he’s sitting on four phone books.

[The Dog 43,792]

 

[tx 3 putt 76,314]

2 hours ago, The Dog said:

 

leopard eats face party 

[bernorange 8,348]

Why is laughing at someone because of their height socially acceptable?

[Ben Tobin 374]

38 minutes ago, DixonHur said:

They should strap the little guy to Jordan’s back like MasterBlaster

Who. Run. Washing. Ton?  McHenJim run Washington!

I’d vote for that

 

 

[Dbeasy 14,963]

1 minute ago, bernorange said:

Why is laughing at someone because of their height socially acceptable?

I’m sorry you’re short. 

[Macanudo 12,925]

4 minutes ago, bernorange said:

Why is laughing at someone because of their height socially acceptable?

Hits too close to home?

[RDCanecutter 26,249]

11 minutes ago, bernorange said:

Why is laughing at someone because of their height socially acceptable?

If they're fucking short it is.

[Genco 3,038]

14 minutes ago, bernorange said:

Why is laughing at someone because of their height socially acceptable?

It's not. I'd never laugh at a woman or child because of their height.

Edit: I forgot midgets.

[Pato del Muerto 52,338]

They got little hands
And little eyes
And they walk around
Tellin' great big lies
They got little noses
And tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty little feet

 

They got little baby legs
And they stand so low
You got to pick 'em up
Just to say hello
They got little cars
That got beep, beep, beep
They got little voices
Goin' peep, peep, peep
They got grubby little fingers
And dirty little minds
They're gonna get you every time

 

 

Edited October 20, 2023 by Pato del Muerto

[YGIFS 19,449]

21 minutes ago, bernorange said:

Why is laughing at someone because of their height socially acceptable?

In 99.99% of the situations we all encounter over a lifetime, you would be absolutely correct.

But when you wake up, live and die, and go to bed to ensure that people whom are "overlooked" and stomped on your policies, then your stature, literal or metaphorical, is fair game and I can piss on whatever part of his cranium I so desire.  You keep people down, I get to joke about how far down you are.  Them's the fucking breaks.  Gloves are off.  

I used to think, as a brother of a girl with Down's Syndrome, and my own shit, and a fucked up childhood that certain things were off-limits.  If the person can't help it, you can't touch the topic.  Then I met 2015.  All bets are off.  You arise at dawn to hurt people, I'm one cup of coffee behind you to feel horrible about it.  Some people only learn with humiliation.  We don't have enough of that anymore.  Eventually, they'll only learn through pain.  And if I can fix it correctly, the suffering will be visited upon them by the people they knew, the people that came as their friends.  My most sadistic ideas may actually come to fruition after all.  Go back and read the sick shit we wrote here 1-2 years ago.  I was being flippant and drunk.  Now I've seen the light.  All they needed was a gentle nudge.  The insults about body image are just the beginning.  We can have these people shooting it out with one another in months, not years.  Months.  Thousands of MAGA gone.  If ever there were that many...

[Gil Bang 25,897]

44 minutes ago, bernorange said:

Why is laughing at someone because of their height socially acceptable?

I would never laugh at a short guy for being short.  

I laugh at a short guy that stands on a box (like Mr. Bowtie did a few days back).  I laugh at a short guy that wears lifts in his shoes (like DeSantis).  

But a short guy that owns it?  No problemo. I never said shit about Spud Webb.

[Rimbo 25,772]

51 minutes ago, bernorange said:

Why is laughing at someone because of their height socially acceptable?

We're not laughing at him because of his height.

We're laughing at him because of his pathetic attempts to look taller.

If he owned that shit, nobody would care.

[Ted Lange 16,041]

Was brought up earlier about presidential succession, the temporary speaker of the house is not eligible, would skip the house and go to  President pro tempore of the Senate Patty Murray.  

[aggie08 21,424]

5 minutes ago, Gil Bang said:

I would never laugh at a short guy for being short.  

I laugh at a short guy that stands on a box (like Mr. Bowtie did a few days back).  I laugh at a short guy that wears lifts in his shoes (like DeSantis).  

But a short guy that owns it?  No problemo. I never said shit about Spud Webb.

Ding, ding, ding.

[shakahorn 1,625]

It's like laughing at a bald guy with a combover.  Not laughing because he's bald, laughing because he's making a ridiculous, ineffective attempt to not look bald.  Oh...wait...

[Gatorubet 30,083]

3 hours ago, The Dog said:

 

Mr. MAGA person, what do you mean my name is Buck and I’m totally fucked?

[Degenerate Gardner 4,081]

3 minutes ago, shakahorn said:

It's like laughing at a bald guy with a combover.  Not laughing because he's bald, laughing because he's making a ridiculous, ineffective attempt to not look bald.  Oh...wait...

Desperation looks bad on anybody.