Reminisce on Getting Busted in High School

[Beau Vine 54270]

On 1/18/2023 at 9:50 PM, Rimbo said:

I got nothing.

But then there's Corey Nation, who was caught choking the chicken while singing the G. I. Joe theme song in the boys' restroom in 7th grade.

Never, ever lived that down. I mean even to this day. What do I remember about him? G I JOOOOOOOOOEEEEE fapfapfap

Good story, Corey!

[CHIEF 5094]

Another small town guy here. Cranfills Gap didn't even have a police department, pasture parties never got busted. Our nemesis was our football coach. For those of us that needed to gain weight, he encouraged a beer or two a day. He made sure to mention that he better not catch us saving them all up and drinking them on the weekend. Well, one Saturday night, after a Friday night game everyone was at a pasture party, fucked up like soup sandwiches.

Our coach lived in Clifton, which was 19 miles away, he never had a reason to come over except for school and games, somehow, he got wind of the party.. Everyone is standing around facing the fire and bullshitting, no one sees him pull up. His first loud words were, "what have we here? 100% of my football players saved all your beers for the weekend? I am running y'all till you puke every day of practice this week." And he did.

When I got a drivers license, I was able to drive to Clifton. Around Cranfills Gap, you drove as soon as you could see over the steering wheel. My best friend lived in Clifton, they had a larger selection of womenz, so that was the new party spot. Another friend's older sister was our bootlegger, or sometimes my best friend's dad. That Dad was also close friends with half the police department, no one in our sphere of friends never got popped for MIPs, or DWIs. 

One day I was headed down Hwy 22 in Bosque County, I had the ol' Firebird cruising along about 130 when the radar detector went off. The DPS officer on the other side of the hill had just turned his radar unit on. I'm still over 100 when I come over the hill, trying to shut it down. Mrs. CHIEF starts going hysterical with "your probably going to end up in jail!!, this ticket is going to be four figures!! What a dumbass move!!" I look over at the officer and told her I wasn't even getting a ticket. I'm greeted with an eye roll. The officer pulls around behind us, gets out of the car. I had my window down already. As he gets beside me, I look up and say, "what's up Charlie?" He comes back with CHIEF, when did you get that car? We have a little discussion, I ask about his daughter, he asks where I'm headed, told him to my uncle's bday party. Of course, he knows the uncle. He, my uncles and Mom had all went to school from K-12 together. Tells me to keep it between the ditches, not even to slow down. So, I gave Mrs. CHIEF a shiteating grin, and do a small burnout with Charlie the DPS officer waving in the back mirror.

I can't imagine how much trouble I would have gotten in where I didn't know or have family friends in law enforcement. Dropping the back windows on the bus and smoking pot was a given coming back from basketball games. The boys and girls rode the same bus, and the coach would turn the lights off. I'm pretty sure their were two pregnancies caused by those bus rides. Luckily, neither time was I the culprit.

CHIEF

[YGIFS 19452]

JFC, I knew this thread was full of naive white people...but holy shit.  The only reason some of you aren't dead or still in prison is because of your skin color.  You guys got away with some serious shit back in the day.    

Having said that, while I look Mexican and speak Spanish...I have the whitest fucking name since Edgar Winter.  Flashing that ID has gotten me out of a pickle or two.  A buddy of mine in San Antonio was holding an inordinate amount of narcotics (and I don't mean weed) on him when we got pulled over.  Got outta that one without being arrested, his mom and step-dad were the only ones to ever find out.  I hit the back of a cop car on IH-35 access road near Dirty Sixth.  It turned from red to green at the light and I just gunned it without looking up.  He walked back to my window and I blurted out, "Sir, you backed into me."  He was so shocked, he told me to get the fuck home and let me go.  I asked an undercover cop to buy me beer in high school.  Ingested drugs just feet away from Chief Acevedo at a condo party at the Hilton downtown many years ago.  Got caught in my teens throwing furniture off a balcony at the Breakers in Palm Beach and talked my way out of it with the local PD.  Helped a friend steal a family member's car after a homecoming dance so we could joy ride and drink stolen beer and smoke cigarettes.  Police just turned us over to our parents who were not amused.  And on probably a half-dozen occasions while fucked up at concerts/festivals/games back in the day...I've distracted cops and security guards from giving me an MIP/PI charge by telling them there was a homeless man following me and pointing them in the opposite direction while I got lost.  Worked every time.  The law school student ID eventually helped out a lot as well, "accidentally" dropping it while shuffling through my wallet.  I've also bribed police in Mexico, Costa Rica, Portugal, and Africa. Once traded a Tissot wristwatch to a U.S. Border Patrol agent for not searching me on way back into El Paso.  Once even pulled a Ferris Bueller in high school by cutting school to take the train downtown to a Cubs game where some police caught us drinking tepid Miller High Live on Waveland Avenue.  They weren't even concerned about the beer so much as we were skipping school and on WGN chasing after a home run and making them look bad.  I was almost busted once doing drugs with Brett Hull and Liz Phair.       And i'm never, ever sick at sea.

[mininghorn88 2294]

5 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

JFC, I knew this thread was full of naive white people...but holy shit.  The only reason some of you aren't dead or still in prison is because of your skin color.  You guys got away with some serious shit back in the day.    

Having said that, while I look Mexican and speak Spanish...I have the whitest fucking name since Edgar Winter.  Flashing that ID has gotten me out of a pickle or two.  A buddy of mine in San Antonio was holding an inordinate amount of narcotics (and I don't mean weed) on him when we got pulled over.  Got outta that one without being arrested, his mom and step-dad were the only ones to ever find out.  I hit the back of a cop car on IH-35 access road near Dirty Sixth.  It turned from red to green at the light and I just gunned it without looking up.  He walked back to my window and I blurted out, "Sir, you backed into me."  He was so shocked, he told me to get the fuck home and let me go.  I asked an undercover cop to buy me beer in high school.  Ingested drugs just feet away from Chief Acevedo at a condo party at the Hilton downtown many years ago.  Got caught in my teens throwing furniture off a balcony at the Breakers in Palm Beach and talked my way out of it with the local PD.  Helped a friend steal a family member's car after a homecoming dance so we could joy ride and drink stolen beer and smoke cigarettes.  Police just turned us over to our parents who were not amused.  And on probably a half-dozen occasions while fucked up at concerts/festivals/games back in the day...I've distracted cops and security guards from giving me an MIP/PI charge by telling them there was a homeless man following me and pointing them in the opposite direction while I got lost.  Worked every time.  The law school student ID eventually helped out a lot as well, "accidentally" dropping it while shuffling through my wallet.  I've also bribed police in Mexico, Costa Rica, Portugal, and Africa. Once traded a Tissot wristwatch to a U.S. Border Patrol agent for not searching me on way back into El Paso.  Once even pulled a Ferris Bueller in high school by cutting school to take the train downtown to a Cubs game where some police caught us drinking tepid Miller High Live on Waveland Avenue.  They weren't even concerned about the beer so much as we were skipping school and on WGN chasing after a home run and making them look bad.  I was almost busted once doing drugs with Brett Hull and Liz Phair.       And i'm never, ever sick at sea.

I believed this up until you said that you do not get sick at sea.

[Rimbo 25985]

10 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

Good story, Corey!

Naw, man. Corey went to Tech. I think. One of those podunk schools. Not a UT man.

 

edit: looked him up, found him on linkedin... he went to WTAMU. Like I said.

Edited January 21, 2023 by Rimbo

[GringoSalado 1651]

7 hours ago, CHIEF said:

I can't imagine how much trouble I would have gotten in where I didn't know or have family friends in law enforcement.

True, but also times have changed. I went from a town where the sheriff was a godfather to my uncle or something to an actual city but back then (80's) it was just way more lenient. Also as YGIFS notes see my user name.

Anyway my story for this is in HS we used to drink beer down by the river, naturally. One day we had a half-full keg from somewhere and for some reason this was in the back of my friend's Honda CVCC. The hatch wouldn't even close. Rear suspension is bottomed out. So of course this day the cops roll up on us at the dead-end (by the river) and they understandably ask,

"Okay, who's keg is this?"
silence
"Who's (gestures at tiny Honda) car is this?"
buddy "That's my Honda officer."
"How did this keg get into your (gestures at tiny car) Honda?"
"I'm not sure sir. It was in there this morning when I left for school."

They made us pour some of it out and we loosened the pump so it wouldn't fully drain or something and after about fifteen minutes they left (ordinarily they would just steal our beer but not this time copper).

Edited January 21, 2023 by GringoSalado
fuck

[SquishMitten 10417]

South Padre for spring break. Walking from our beach house to some club, the urge to pee hit me. Went to a bush on the side of the road and let it flow. No more than a couple seconds go by before I'm spot-lighted from behind and then the lights/siren confirm what I already suspect. I finish up, then the interrogation starts. It's apparent that I'm drunk. When they ask for my ID, I tell them I don't have it because we're going to a foam party or something and I didn't want my wallet to get ruined. I'm just wearing a swimsuit so I flip my pockets, and I just have my phone in a ziplock bag. It appeared I was being truthful, and I mostly was, except my ID was in my shoe. I brilliantly give them a fake name and fake address, and I go on my merry way, laughing with my friends as I tear the ticket up and throw it in the garbage. 

Fast forward probably six months, and I come home to royally pissed off parents. Well, you see, when a ticket goes unpaid, apparently the South Padre PD will mail you a reminder. Which I, of course, never thought would be an issue since I had outsmarted the cops. Welp, it turns out I gave them: a) my real first name and only a fake last name, and B) more importantly, practically the correct address (e.g., I said "123 Barton Drive, Austin, Texas 78733" instead of the real address of "123 Barton Creek Lane, Austin, Texas 78733.) Apparently that's close enough for USPS. Maybe if the name had been completely different, I could've convinced them that I had nothing to do with it. Hell, if that had been the case, they probably wouldn't have even opened the letter. 

So, on top of now having to pay a higher fine, my parental-punishment was significantly enhanced for lying to the cops. By that point, my brilliant stunt was already known by everyone at school. My brother ensured that everyone also found out how much of a moron I actually was. Looking back on it, this outcome made for a far better story. 

[Al_4_ISU 12469]

Senior year, my folks went to Italy.  I was 17 and my brother was a sophomore and had just turned 16.  My grandparents were staying at our house during the week cooking for us and stuff, but they were going to go home on Friday night and we'd have the house to our selves.  My cousin who grew up a mile down the road was home for Spring Break from college (he was 19).  We decided to (obviously) throw a party.   I was going to high school at the Catholic school in Rochester, MN (about an hour away) and my buddies from school were all too big of pussies to come down to the farm in Iowa for a party because they played baseball and didn't want to get busted with the season coming up soon.  So my cousin invited some of his friends, and I told a couple local guys I was still friends with (even though I didn't go to school with them).  He knew a few chicks that were down, so I was all about it.  We figured about 10-15 people knew.

Within an hour of the first guests showing up, there were a 100 people jammed into in a 3 bed 2 bath ranch house that was 4 miles from the nearest paved road.  This was in 2003 and cell phones were just becoming common, so word had spread like wildfire.  My old man had a great stereo, so we had that fucker absolutely cranked and jammed with 90's/00's pop punk.  We were slamming Natural Ice with impunity.  Before long I was in my room making out with some chick.  When she started giving me a handy, I got greedy and thought I was being funny and said "you know, I can do that myself".  She got up, turned the lights on, and left without saying a word.  Lesson learned.

At some point in the night we had gotten some of the randoms out of there, we've got all of our guitars plugged in and jamming in the basement, chicks are very into my knowledge of blink 182 and Green Day riffs.  I have acquired another target.  This could be the greatest night of my life.  All of a sudden I hear screaming from upstairs - "MITCHELL COUNTY SHERIFF DEPARTMENT.  COME UPSTAIRS WITH YOUR HANDS UP".

The cops were in my childhood kitchen, and we were all getting tickets.  Our driveway back then was several hundred yards long, and some kids had seen them coming down it lights blazing and ran off into the woods/swamp behind our house (a small river ran through the farm I grew up on), but most got caught in the house.  I sat at my kitchen table and got my first Minor In Possession of Alcohol.  The cops got out a breathalyzer because one person said they could drive.  There was so much booze spilled on the kitchen table that they couldn't get it to read right and had to get them to blow outside.

As people's parents are coming to get them, 2 considerably older cousins of mine (they were in their mid 20's at the time) come barreling through the door with a case of beer.  They told the cops they were our "aunt and uncle from Wisconsin" who were there to keep an eye on us.  At this point, the cops bought it, and left once they had everyone's name and addresses.  Most of the kids had been picked up by their parents, but my brother and our now 3 cousins stayed up playing drinking games until the sun came up.

When my folks got home, they were only pissed that we'd let the party get big enough the cops found out.  And as it turned out, the cops only knew because they pulled over a car of drunk chicks on their way to it and offered to let them go if they ratted us out.  Our nearest neighbors were far enough away they couldn't hear the noise, and frankyl they didn't care.  My brother played football and wrestled and he had to show up to track practice that Monday in order to use up his athletic suspension on track so he'd be eligible for football in the fall.  I got a ticket out of the deal and that was about it.  Absolutely worth it for a stupid fun night and some good stories.

[Ifiwaspresident 57]

On 1/18/2023 at 6:15 AM, MaybeACoordinator said:

The passing of my grandmother is dredging up all these memories....

So here is the most epic bust of my HS years.

Background: Sharpstown/Alief, Houston, 1985. I was a freshman at Strake.

Cast of characters

Tony: A year ahead of us, he had a license and access to an old station wagon.

 

 

Tony's last name start with a Z?

[Armybrat 40851]

On 1/19/2023 at 4:07 PM, Helobious said:

As a 90s baby & a non-white I still can’t believe people did this. Seems like you’d get turned into Swiss cheese immediately as soon as you step towards the cop car nowadays, probably even regardless of what you look like. Was it a normal thing back then? 

It was in the 1960s.

[MaybeACoordinator 8349]

1 hour ago, Ifiwaspresident said:

Tony's last name start with a Z?

no, an A

[High Plains Drifter 11050]

 

Another Spring Break story, possibly the same trip as mentioned above:

At the beach, me and two friends were walking along openly drinking, despite being minors. Me and one other had just tossed our emptys in the trash about one minute prior, when some cops come up and say to the one friend who still had a beer, "I need to see your ID". He hands the cops his beer can, acts like he's going to pull out his wallet, and then takes off running drunkenly down the beach at full speed. The cops just watch them go, and after about a minute, turn to us and say "I don't guess you know that guys name do you?" We just shrug, and say, "Dunno. Frank something, we just met him."

Cops just walk off.

 

Same or another trip, phone in the condo room rings at like 4 am. (this is way before cell phones). I answer and its a friend of ours, who has been MIA all day. He yells, Drifter, you gotta come get me! These guys are going to kick my ass!"

I ask "Where are you?"

He screams "# _____, two stories up from our room! Hurry!" I hear banging and a loud crash, then shouting, in the background, what sounds like a door getting kicked in,  more yelling.

I wake every body up, we grab whatever weapons we can find. We ride the elevator up a few floors, get off, turn the corner, and see our friend getting his ass kicked by two guys. There are about four or five of us, one of us waving a frying pan from the condo kitchen, we yell, they see us, and take off running down the hallway and down the stairs. We let em go, grab our friend, and retreat back to our room. Apparently, my friend was banging some chick and her boyfriend shows up, and she won't let him in, and he starts kicking in the door, and that's when my friend calls us.

[High Plains Drifter 11050]

On 1/19/2023 at 9:29 AM, fattyflattie said:

 Please God let my kids be smarter than I was. 

 

amen brother.

 

[MaybeACoordinator 8349]

Spring Break, freshman year at UT, 1989....my HS buddy I drove down there in my 76 Coupe de Ville (with no back windshield) and basically lived in it for a couple of days...Then one day in Matamoros I saw this girl I'd been smitten with since freshman year of HS...Somehow I knew I was going to see her there, even though she went to aggy (but was a total two percenter.). I saw her crossing the street and I literally picked her up and threw her over my shoulder while she giggled, and it was on for the rest of Spring Break after that. Fucking torrid. And she and her friends took us into their condo at the old Sea Grape motel.

But one night a few days later we were down there partying -- Tone Loc, Paula Abdul etc. -- in some club and when we left, it felt like all Mexico had turned against all Texans. It was weird. The vibes were terrible -- dudes were trying to trip us up with jumpropes, others wanted to fight...I escorted my gal to the border plaza safely and we were aggressively making out when my buddy came running up saying some dudes had just tried to throw him in the back of a truck. My gal (my future ex-wife lol) and I kind of shrugged and resumed making out....

We all made it back to the Sea Grape and a day or two later we heard about that missing freshman, Mark Kilroy, who looked a lot like my best buddy. 

[Longhornstampede 3184]

Well that story was a buzzkill to this thread. Why dont you go ahead and tell us about the day your dog died while you're at it....

I keed, I keed. Glad your buddy is still alive. He is still alive right?

[High Plains Drifter 11050]

 

yeah, I remember the Mark Kilroy story. Crazy bad shit. That was some years later than when I was going down there.

When I think about that story and how fucked up I would get in Matamoros...

[MaybeACoordinator 8349]

1 hour ago, Longhornstampede said:

Well that story was a buzzkill to this thread. Why dont you go ahead and tell us about the day your dog died while you're at it....

I keed, I keed. Glad your buddy is still alive. He is still alive right?

Yep alive and well. He was lucky he was the youngest of three brothers that night.

[Baboontyme 2814]

I discovered the fun of taking my parents car in that middle of the night in summer when I was 14. We did it for an entire summer. Had an elaborate system for getting the car rolled down the street before starting it, duplicate keys made from a MI-like scooter run to the store from a friend during Baboon family dinner, etc. One night during a torrential downpour with half a dozen girls in the back we drove through a big deep puddle in the neighborhood. It was fun, let's do that again. Car stalled. Shorted out the entire electrical system in my Dad's sweet ass red Pontiac Grand Prix. Hoping it was just a temporary thing and trying to play hero I told everyone to stay put and hoofed it home in the rain to steal my parents OTHER car to drive the girls home across town. Only my mom was up reading when I went in, no idea the car was gone. I panicked and took off and next thing I remember she pulled up in the rain in the other car to the broken down vehicle and all of the girls went scattering into the woods. I'm still not sure how they got home. I was not allowed to talk to them or anyone else for a very long time and I also had the pleasure of getting my very first job as a bus boy to pay the ~ $600 bill for my dad's car.

[DalTxHornFan 3107]

6 hours ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

Spring Break, freshman year at UT, 1989....my HS buddy I drove down there in my 76 Coupe de Ville (with no back windshield) and basically lived in it for a couple of days...Then one day in Matamoros I saw this girl I'd been smitten with since freshman year of HS...Somehow I knew I was going to see her there, even though she went to aggy (but was a total two percenter.). I saw her crossing the street and I literally picked her up and threw her over my shoulder while she giggled, and it was on for the rest of Spring Break after that. Fucking torrid. And she and her friends took us into their condo at the old Sea Grape motel.

But one night a few days later we were down there partying -- Tone Loc, Paula Abdul etc. -- in some club and when we left, it felt like all Mexico had turned against all Texans. It was weird. The vibes were terrible -- dudes were trying to trip us up with jumpropes, others wanted to fight...I escorted my gal to the border plaza safely and we were aggressively making out when my buddy came running up saying some dudes had just tried to throw him in the back of a truck. My gal (my future ex-wife lol) and I kind of shrugged and resumed making out....

We all made it back to the Sea Grape and a day or two later we heard about that missing freshman, Mark Kilroy, who looked a lot like my best buddy. 

The loss of the ability to cross-border party has been a huge shock to Texas HS/College culture.  There were some good times over there back then.  Today -- not so much.

[Armybrat 40851]

6 minutes ago, DalTxHornFan said:

The loss of the ability to cross-border party has been a huge shock to Texas HS/College culture.  There were some good times over there back then.  Today -- not so much.

Closing the Chicken Ranch in La Grange didn’t help either…… for all the guys who couldn’t get laid by their girlfriends/wives/etc.

[DalTxHornFan 3107]

Just now, Armybrat said:

Closing the Chicken Ranch in La Grange didn’t help either…… for all the guys who couldn’t get laid by their girlfriends/wives/etc.

There may or may not have been some ladies in Boys Town in Nuevo Laredo that could have helped with that issue.

[Eugene11 379]

I guess not so much as getting caught but a fun crazy story. College years sometime.  Kind of hazy that whole college thing. We load up in two pick ups and head to big bend.  Two friends and their girlfriends and me and one other dude.   
fiest we find big bend state park.   Uhh. Not what we were lookin for.  The. Find the national park.  Perfect. Commence buffoonery

go down to the boat ramp and see school busses dropping off kids on the US side and parents rowing them across to the other side.  We heard about the boats but these aren’t the ones we were looking for.  A little ways up the river we found the right ones. They row us across for I think $5 each and we get in a truck and they take us to town.  Load up on beer and alcohol. That night wild pigs come rummaging through the camp site.  We of course are still up drinking so I chase them off. I’m literally running through the night after them. Run smack into a mesquite bush.  That was the worst of that night.  I’m lucky I didn’t run smack into a tusk.  
 

later me and the other single dude are in the back of the pick up.  The couples are up front. We are “off roading” which is terrible in the bed of the truck. We stop. Load up a back pack with beer and a carton of cigarettes and hike across the desert to our camp site. We knew the direction to go but we were several miles if not 10 miles from the site.  As the crow flies we figured quicker.  The truck continues on the beaten path. Hours later and a much lighter back pack we still aren’t near the “ridge” that we can see and know or camp is on the other side of.  Lol. And there is a massive crevasse that there is no way we are going down and then back up. So around it we have to go. We hike for hours.  And hours. It’s starting to get dark.  We are out of beer and for what may be the first time in my life I wish I had brought water instead of beer. Still smoking though.  Lol. We finally make it back to the main road because we can’t go through that canyon.  Walking along the road and here comes our friends in the truck looking for us so we thought.  Nope. They are just getting back to the main road themselves after getting stuck and blowing a tire and trying to get unstuck and change said flat.  Needless to say we had a better time walking. That was actually quit fun. 

[Dennis Taylor 18837]

1 hour ago, DalTxHornFan said:

There may or may not have been some ladies in Boys Town in Nuevo Laredo that could have helped with that issue.

They were there, they just may or not have been ladies 

[Longhornstampede 3184]

This thread had me thinking about this song...

 

We made Oklahoma a little after 3
Randy, his brother Bob and my old GMC
We had some moonshine whisky
And some of Bob's homegrown
We were so messed up we didn't know
If we were drunk or stoned
Randy was a sad-sack, tall kinda frail
Bob was a raving maniac, crazy in the head
They been kicked out of high school several years ago
For pushin over port-a-cans at the 4-H rodeo
Since then they've done their little dance
Right outside the law
Popped twice in Oklahoma, once in Arkansas
And I don't know what possessed me
To want to tag along
Cause I was raised a Christian
And I knew right from wrong

CHORUS:
Right or wrong, black or white
Cross the line your gonna pay
In the dawn before the light
Live and die by the shades of gray
We stole two Charolais heifers from
Randy's sweetheart's paw
Sold them at the livestock sale
Outside of Wichita

We got $900 and never did suspect
The world of hurt we'd be in once
We cashed that check
Next day we heard the story
On the local radio
Made our plans that very night
To go to Mexico
I swear we would have made it
If it wasn't for that shine
I got sick about the time we crossed
That Kansas line

CHORUS

I was layin in the bar ditch
Prayin I would die
When a light come on above us
And a voice come from the sky
A half a dozen unmarked cars
Came screeching to a halt
They grabbed bob, he started screamin
It was all my fault

There were men and dogs
And helicopter buzzin all around
They had the brothers on the
Pickup hood and me down on the ground
Bob flew all to pieces but randy he
Held tight when a black man in a
Suit and tie stepped out into the light
He told his men to turn us loose
They put down their guns
He said these are just some
Sorry kids, they ain't the ones

CHORUS

They left us by the roadside
Down hearted and alone
Randy got behind the wheel
Said boys I'm going home
We turned around to face our fate
Downhearted but alive on that
Mornin in late April, Oklahoma, 1995

CHORUS

[Longhornstampede 3184]

Although I'm sure (I think) none of you have ever been suspected of taking down a federal building.

Edited January 26, 2023 by Longhornstampede

[Foosters 17858]

I got busted plenty of times in high school in college. Few overnight stints in jail. Should've' died several times. None particularly noteworthy though.

But I do have a pretty good one. Buddy of mine was back in Houston from his freshman year at UT. He's driving his car down River Oaks Blvd trying to find some chick's house who lived nearby. Its around midnight and its raining. He's hammered and probably going about 45 miles an hour when he realizes he's about to miss his turn and just hooks the car left. We immediately go into a skid and he runs through the median and destroys a newly planted tree - still had the stakes and cables to support it. Car is left sitting in the median. A Harris County Constable happened to be driving by and is on scene within 30 seconds of the crash. This guy gets out of his car and is about 6'4" wearing a cowboy hat and a rain slicker.  Constable is pissed. Asks a bunch of questions. No idea why he believed the lie that we hadn't been drinking. Maybe just didn't care. Eventually asks my buddy to get his ID and paperwork from the car.

My friend has a glass pipe, coated in ready-to-be-scraped resin sitting in his cup holder. So he reaches in the car to obtain the info and also discreetly grabs the glass pipe and palms it while handing the ID to officer. When officer turns his back, my buddy throws the pipe as far as he can into the darkness. About 5 seconds later you could hear a loud "pop" come from the direction of the house where he threw it. Constable looks in that direction for a second, then walks to his car to check out the ID and paperwork. Makes us sit on the curb next to the car.

Constable comes back a few minutes later. Still pissed, he begins to lecture my friend about driving and being reckless, etc. Then, he looks at the destroyed tree and says "do you have any idea how much these trees cost?

My friend pauses for about 2-3 seconds, looks up at the constable, and says "what am I, an arborist?"

To this day I'm not sure how he avoided going to jail that night, but that arborist line has become a regular part of all of our shared language.

[BearSchlong 8099]

Tl;Dr - fucked my wife in her car on a back road tonight, no fucks given because her godfather is the police chief if we had gotten caught.

(what a way to rekindle our youth!)

[66BUFF 2564]

4 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

Tl;Dr - fucked my wife in her car on a back road tonight, no fucks given because her godfather is the police chief if we had gotten caught.

(what a way to rekindle our youth!)

[BearSchlong 8099]

I credit this thread, my sobriety, and that last shot of lemon ciroc that my wife had for helping me rediscover my youth.

Now I need to find a 1988 Olsdmobile ninety-eight.

[High Plains Drifter 11050]

On 1/28/2023 at 7:47 AM, BearSchlong said:

I credit this thread, my sobriety, and that last shot of lemon ciroc that my wife had for helping me rediscover my youth.

Now I need to find a 1988 Olsdmobile ninety-eight.

 

 

 

 

[Ten Bears 2481]

When I was 16 a buddy David and I were driving around the Coleman Co dirt roads drinking up the leftover beer from the night before when we had gone to a country dance in his mom's station wagon.  We had a blowout that night so we had to change out the spare (this is critical to the story).  I was constantly getting into trouble with this guy. 

We came upon a road construction site that had a trailer with a sign that said Danger Explosives  and a huge Masterlock padlock on the door.  David grabbed a 36 inch Stillson pipe wrench and with two blows had the lock open.  It even relocked.  We stole 350 lbs of dynamite, a spool of detonator cord (that we thought was fuse cord - even tried to light it), a detonator, fuses and various blasting caps.  So away we go trying to figure out how to light some dynamite fuse. Failing that I figured out how the detonator worked with the blasting caps and we start looking for something to blow up.  A row of mailboxes?  Sure why not?  One stick was enough to level all 6 mailboxes except for the one that we put the tnt in.  It went so high it was just a speck in the sky before nearly landing on David's head.

We then go dynamite some stock tanks but nothing but polywog catfish came up by the hundreds.

Fast forward to Monday afternoon as I get off of the school bus and see the sheriffs car sitting in front of our house along with David's parents car.  Oh shit.  David's dad ran the local gas station/shop and Monday morning went to fix the flat we had Saturday night and found blasting cap instructions that had fallen into a crack where the spare was.  My mom had to call the beer joint to tell my dad he better come home and deal with his son and the sheriff.

David and I were 2 of 3 country fuckhead delinquents that ran around together and before we were even made to turn our selves in the sheriff had all 3 of our names written down on a Round up the Usual Suspects style list.  The construction crew had reported the detonator missing and was worth like $2000.  They hadn't even noticed all the other shit we stole.  Turns out blowing up mailboxes is frowned upon and is a felony which went along with the 3 other felonies they came up with.  I received a years probation supervised by the probation officer who happened to be a family friend.  After 6 months she said gtfo you're done.  Hardest part was having to apologize to the mailbox owners, one of whom was my dad's best friend's dad.

That flat tire and the instruction sheet for blasting caps probably save our lives.

[BearSchlong 8099]

Reminds me

[CHAD BRISCOE 371]

my Dog then like to suck it’s own dick it still does

[Baboontyme 2814]

how old is that pooch Chad

[MissingInAction 25112]

Delete

Edited March 6, 2023 by MissingInAction
Stupid

[Tylerocks 2553]

On 1/18/2023 at 7:34 PM, MaybeACoordinator said:

Almost certainly so! What year and where did you graduate from?

 

At the same HS party spot -- Shotgun, a road through a field near the as-yet-unfinished Beltway 8 -- we were occasionally hunted for sport by the rednecks then endemic at Sharpstown HS. They would descend on us like a fucking Mongol horde, beat the shit out of us, and then split. They were all roided out and we were always outnumbered. (I think one of them was Barrett Robbins, the future Oakland Raider who infamously flaked on the fucking Super Bowl.)

One time that happened to Tony and Steve and a few of my other friends. I arrived a few minutes after it was all over. They were gone but the Sharpstown Horde was still there, and the encircled me. Discretion was the better part of valor -- I told them I was already a freshman at UT and for some reason that defused the situation and I was able to get out unscathed.

Tony was of Sicilian heritage. And this unfair fight did not sit well with him. And he recognized one of the dudes in the party who kicked his ass. A few days later he and a buddy went to that dude's house and lay in wait. When the kid came home with his GF, Tony then proceeded to beat the shit out of him in front of his girlfriend while his buddy laughed and took pictures. (Which was very very rare in those days.) @Brisketexan knows this guy; he can tell his story if he wants. It's a good 'un.

Another time we were at , our late friend Sam decided to down a flaming shot of 151 which of course set his whole face on fire. I smacked him around, calling him a dumbshit and putting out the fire at the same time. Come Monday at school he had obvious burn wounds on his face and the late Brother Casey, the legendary campus cop (a former soldier in the Tampa mob), asked him what the fuck happened. Sam said the Sharpstown assholes tossed a Molotov cocktail at him. I am pretty sure there was an inter-school investigation which of course went nowhere because at least this time they had nothing to do with it. 

Fellow SJ alum here...I'm a handful of years younger and have the exact same "Shotgun" story....same cast of characters.  Barrett Robbins...they called him Chunk, was at TCU at the time but was there.

Sharpstown MO was, they would show up, have a little guy come up and start shit and as soon as anything looked like it was about to happen, Barrett and some other football guys would be there to pound whoever.  One of the "little" guys that would start shit actually became one of my better friends at UT. lol

I think I was a Sophisticating or Jr at SJ and by that time, we had a couple guys that had gone to school with us transfer back to Sharpstown.  Also had a good friend who's older brother ran with those guys....so we had a connection that would keep us out of most scraps. 

I came from the public school world until high school, so all of my "other" friends were Lee people, so we could pretty much go to any party and be ok..  Well, me and my gf could.

 

I never really got busted , but had some friends get nailed.  There was a Coors distributorship or some sort of thing off Ranchester/Corporate area in one of those office park type things.  Anyway, we were hanging out in one of the parking lots drinking beer and someone notices a stack of kegs behind a fence.  Next thing you know they're stealing these empties to turn in for discounted fullsies for the next party.

Unbeknownst to them, this place had a camera set up..

Monday at school, one by one, folks were getting called into the office to talk to Brother Casey and Mr. McCardle (Principal).  Of course everyone denied it.....Until they saw the video of folks climbing the fences, with their letter jackets (With their last names stitched across the back) 😭

 

[CycleTex87 2972]

50 minutes ago, Tylerocks said:

Monday at school, one by one, folks were getting called into the office to talk to Brother Casey and Mr. McCardle (Principal).  Of course everyone denied it.....Until they saw the video of folks climbing the fences, with their letter jackets (With their last names stitched across the back) 😭

 

Wasn't me (I happened to not be with the group at the time), but a bunch of my buddies probably Jr. High age all wrote their names in wet concrete in a house under construction in our neighborhood.  They totally defaced the concrete, and it wasn't very hard to track them down.  Their parents were not happy.  None of them went to college if I remember correctly.  

[MaybeACoordinator 8349]

Our policy was "deny, deny, deny.." Luckily in my time at Strake there was not much video and our letter jackets weren't that fancy yet. By the time Casey and McCardle converged on my buddy's car in the parking lot one night at a dance with flashlights, which revealed a depleted case of beer on a backseat floormat, we were scattered all over campus in multiple directions. Monday morning came around and my buddy was called to the office over the intercom (they knew it was his car) and he just lied his ass off and we got clean away with it. We had our story and we stucjk to it -- that the beer must have been planted there. Probably by evil Sharpstown kids.

Edited March 10, 2023 by MaybeACoordinator