Cancer Sucks!

[Nueces River Rat 5562]

Got news my wife has breast cancer.    She felt a lump right before Christmas and fortunately had her annual female exams scheduled right after New Year's Day.     Biopsy was done on Tuesday on the left side  and lymph nodes.    Fortunately nothing in the lymph nodes, but confirmed in the breast tissue itself.

We will be going up to MD Anderson to get this taken care of.    Her Doctor down here thinks we got it in the very early stages, but it's a potentially a more rare form (Medullary)  that is related to the Triple negative.   Needless to say this is kick in the gut for all of us.   She's 53, we just saw one out our sons get married a month ago so she was already looking forward to being Grandmother sometime in the future.   We have a high school Junior and a year and some change from now she is gone and we will be empty nesters.  And with that, opportunities to travel the world and possibly locate up to the Hill Country in a few years and build a home on a couple of acres.    

It brings things into perspective.     She's a strong women for sure and I have my faith in God this will be defeated.   But it's put a scare into me to get back to a somewhat healthier lifestyle.   I used to workout ( and was in the best shape of my life)  up to when Covid closed down my Gym and I let my diet go to crap and never really got back in the mode.  One of her ultimatums is for me to remain strong and get healthy.   It's a shame fricken cancer had to wake me up to this.

 

[Knoxtnhorn 6068]

I'm sorry to hear this.  I hope everything works out for the best.

[MonkeyDoughnut 10368]

Sorry to hear that it sucks and does change everyone's perspective quickly. I spent a 4 months in and out of MDA last summer/fall with 3 surgeries for what was a "minor" melanoma and reconstructive surgery. They are awesome in communicating, but if you ever have any questions regarding anything with them - online portal, forms, parking, etc I might have some recent insight from a patient perspective on what to expect. 

[Bevo 13606]

5 hours ago, Nueces River Rat said:

Got news my wife has breast cancer.    She felt a lump right before Christmas and fortunately had her annual female exams scheduled right after New Year's Day.     Biopsy was done on Tuesday on the left side  and lymph nodes.    Fortunately nothing in the lymph nodes, but confirmed in the breast tissue itself.

We will be going up to MD Anderson to get this taken care of.    Her Doctor down here thinks we got it in the very early stages, but it's a potentially a more rare form (Medullary)  that is related to the Triple negative.   Needless to say this is kick in the gut for all of us.   She's 53, we just saw one out our sons get married a month ago so she was already looking forward to being Grandmother sometime in the future.   We have a high school Junior and a year and some change from now she is gone and we will be empty nesters.  And with that, opportunities to travel the world and possibly locate up to the Hill Country in a few years and build a home on a couple of acres.    

It brings things into perspective.     She's a strong women for sure and I have my faith in God this will be defeated.   But it's put a scare into me to get back to a somewhat healthier lifestyle.   I used to workout ( and was in the best shape of my life)  up to when Covid closed down my Gym and I let my diet go to crap and never really got back in the mode.  One of her ultimatums is for me to remain strong and get healthy.   It's a shame fricken cancer had to wake me up to this.

 

Sounds like it i localized so the 5 year survival rate is high at over 90%. She will probably have surgery pretty soon after biopsy. Is she BRCA1 positive?

[dcbc 14546]

I'm sorry to hear the news.  I began this journey with my wife just under nine years ago.  It's no fun for either of you to be sure.  But it seems like treatment gets more advanced by the day, and I'd bet the way they treat your wife in 2023 will be pretty different than the treatment plan she would have undergone even a few years ago.  Things move quickly at this early part of the process.  But you are in the best hands at MDA. 

 

Good call getting healthy.  I'd lost a lot of weight before my wife's diagnosis.  Then the casseroles from well-meaning friends started showing up and it's been a slog ever since.  But she is seven years cancer free and counting, and I wouldn't trade that.

 

You guys are doing it right.  All the best to you and your wife.  If you have any questions you think might benefit from my perspective, don't hesitate to message me.

Edited January 20, 2023 by dcbc

[HamsterHookah 112]

My wife had this scare recently-- God be with you during this time NRR!

I also made an effort to get in shape like dcbc said after all this.

[tx 3 putt 77620]

She’ll be with the best at MDA

hit the Houston board for restaurant recs. That hospital food gets old 

[Hate 20149]

Damn...that is scary.  But you will be in good hands and I'm sure your wife is going to kick its ass.  FUCK cancer.

[ztejas 43558]

7 hours ago, dcbc said:

I'd lost a lot of weight before my wife's diagnosis.  Then the casseroles from well-meaning friends started showing up and it's been a slog ever since.

There's some dark comedy there. 

I have an aunt who went through breast cancer treatment 2-3 years ago maybe a little older than your wife, OP. She's doing fine now. Obviously there are worst-case scenarios just like any other diagnosis but it's a far cry from a death sentence. I don't think her QOL has really been affected at all (if it has it doesn't show) and she's been back teaching pre-K for awhile now. 

[deadshank 24653]

Hang in there Mrs. NRR!!  You too, NRR. 

[Texzilla58 4745]

NRR so sorry to hear this and prayers for your wife and family. She found it early and treatment is so advanced especially at MDA. Hopefully the experience, once endured, gives you a closer family and more loving marriage.

The key with breast cancer, as with most, is early detection. So many women put off their mammograms and even self exams out of fear and it puts them on the wrong side of the ledger. I just lost a friend to colon cancer because he feared a colonoscopy. So all of you get your women checked out and make sure they know any genetic tendencies.

My mother was diagnosed by a particularly aggressive form of breast cancer in 95 and beat it until she passed in 20 of something unrelated. Your wife will as well.

Fighting cancer is war. Nothing matters but your wife’s well being. If you or wife question elements of treatment ask about it and don’t be scared to get second opinions. It can help to have a second mind to confirm things are on the right path. Cancer is one of those things we are on an island with; it’s important to have bay authoritative peer on board to help her feel confident.

Take advantage of the ancillary programs MDA offers or recommends for counseling, nutrition, and self reflection. Kids have to be involved as they will know mom is sick and will worry, so be transparent and supportive.

Best wishes for her rapid recover.

[Guest]

Lost my aunt this evening to uterine cancer, that had been treated into remission, only for it to come back with a vengeance in her lungs/ throat. Non-smolker, and pretty much vegan throughout the past 20-25 years.  She tried to take care of herself through diet and exercise.

My dad( her brother) left our family when I was 9.  My aunt maintained a relationship with me through my childhood and nurtured a very special bond that existed throughout my adult life unto this day. When she retired, she sold out her interests in the largest real estate firm in a Top 20 metro in the US.  She was a liberated, independent woman, well before it was accepted, and very muchly absent the usually assigned politics.  She was a tough-ass business woman, fiercely loyal matriarch, and devoted Christian who filled out her 'free-time' with charity work with both the mentally challenged and battered women. She was a mentor to many, and I certainly counted her as one to myself.  She was as transparent and vulnerable as anyone I knew when we were talking real life issues/ experiences.

When it comes to a warrior spirit in human form, she will always be one of which I think of first. Rest in peace, for you have fought the valiant fight.  Your strength moved to serve others who could not do for themselves. You truly loved your fellow man.  Not much else needs to be said beyond that.

I will miss you every day.

[Nueces River Rat 5562]

Update….

We went up to MD Anderson in mid February and spent three days up there meeting with the Oncology team and surgeon and before those sessions they did more diagnostic work to confirm what the preliminary work showed from the lab  and diagnostics in Corpus .   I can tell you MD Anderson earns its reputation.    We were seen on time or earlier than the scheduled time and every visit during the process was not rushed.  They took their time with us and answered all questions and put all the options on the table and timelines.    
 

Initially it looked like they were going to do the surgery first to remove the lump, but the Oncologist was concerned about a particular marker her cancer showed that could cause the cancer to accelerate.   So she decided to take the option to do the chemotherapy first and then sometime in August have the tumor removed.    She had her first treatment at MD Anderson in early March and we were fortunate a Oncologist down here has a relationship with MD Anderson to coordinate treatments so we don’t have to drive to Houston every other week during this first phase. Next month the second phase of the chemo begins which requires a weekly visit, but instead of a three hour session, it’s supposed to be shorter.   We still have to go up there for a check up every six weeks until surgery.   
 

She began to lose her hair after her second treatment which was a blow to her, but she knew was coming and prepared for it.   She did her third treatment today, so she is hoping it’s rinse and repeat from the prior two where the fatigue and other yuck does it’s worse over the weekend and Monday she begins a rebound    She works from home and her boss pretty much told her to rest when ever she needs to rest and she has treatment days off which are on Thursday  and the following Friday for the duration if she feels the need to take the entire day off.  
 

If everything goes as the plan stands now, she will have surgery in August.  Since no lymph nodes are involved, the surgery itself will not be as invasive. They will also be able to do the reconstructive surgery after the lump is removed and do the other side to make sure things match if you know what I mean and all covered by her health insurance.  It’s about time that sort of thing was covered for women  and I wish it was back in the 80s when my mom went through breast cancer.  Never understood why losing any other body part would get covered, but not a women’s breast which is very much a vital part for women was never treated the same.      
 

The upside with doing the chemo first as well is the cancer should all be gone and no follow up chemo or radiation will be necessary.     She has the surgery and it’s done!  
 

I can’t say again how super the folks are at MD Anderson.   The University of Texas should be proud to have its name and legacy attached with such a wonderful facility.   They will be on my charity contribution list from this point forward. Texans and others who don’t have the means should not have this option excluded from them because of circumstances.   
 

Thanks again for all who have commented and reached out!  

 

[4th_and_18 687]

Recently found out a friend has stage 3 breast cancer. She’s two chemo treatments into 16. She delivered her second child Monday evening. Chemo to resume tomorrow. Crowdsourced/family sourced meal planner/funding is a great help and lots of folks have stepped up for her and her husband. Can’t imagine what they’re going through with a newborn at the house and chemo treatments for the foreseeable future. Fuck cancer.

[Nueces River Rat 5562]

Update.

Wife is finished with Chemo as of two weeks ago.    That craps sucks everything out of your system and then some.  Her hair started coming back toward the end of this cycle of treatments as it was the "least" lethal of the series.   Still has a lot fatigue, her finger nails look like those of a person in their 90's.    Man I hope what is remaining in my lifetime or at least when my kids get into the years where they are more susceptible to cancer, these cures  not requiring you almost kill yourself they say are within reach become reality.  

Go up to MD Anderson next week for surgery and hopefully they can tell us soon after if she will need radiation.   We hope the surgery is the end game.   It's time to resume life and get ready for the empty nest chapter and enjoy our last one at home Senior year.

[Knoxtnhorn 6068]

Good luck @Nueces River Rat.  I appreciate the perspective.  Sometimes I get caught up in the stupidest of shit (recruiting) and need to be reminded that there are bigger things in play for some.  I hope everything works out.  Keep us posted.

[dcbc 14546]

On 9/1/2023 at 9:31 AM, Nueces River Rat said:

Update.

Wife is finished with Chemo as of two weeks ago.    That craps sucks everything out of your system and then some.  Her hair started coming back toward the end of this cycle of treatments as it was the "least" lethal of the series.   Still has a lot fatigue, her finger nails look like those of a person in their 90's.    Man I hope what is remaining in my lifetime or at least when my kids get into the years where they are more susceptible to cancer, these cures  not requiring you almost kill yourself they say are within reach become reality.  

Go up to MD Anderson next week for surgery and hopefully they can tell us soon after if she will need radiation.   We hope the surgery is the end game.   It's time to resume life and get ready for the empty nest chapter and enjoy our last one at home Senior year.

Keep after it.  Congrats on passing that chemo milestone.  Good luck with her surgery.  Hopefully, those lymph nodes come back clean and no radiation required.  All the best to your wife, you, and your family. 

[Nueces River Rat 5562]

Update:

Happy to say everything is looking good with my wife.

Surgery to remove the mass was done a few weeks ago up at MDA.   Reconstructive work was done right after the surgeon removed the mass and everything looks great and healing nicely.   Why this hasn't been a standard thing for women until recently is beyond comprehension.   

The mass responded very well to the Chemo blast.  Not a trace of cancer remained in the tissue or what lymphs that were removed.   She will do four weeks of radiation starting next week to insure not a speck of a cancer still  remains which kind of sucks, but it's a walk in the park if you will compared to the weeks/months of chemo.

Light is staring right at us as we are almost done with this chapter.   She's ready to enjoy life again.

 

Thanks to all who have commented and reached out.  Means a ton! 

[Hate 20149]

My surgery is scheduled for Monday. I’m looking forward to having it behind me, but the next few weeks are really going to suck.

[Nueces River Rat 5562]

My surgery is scheduled for Monday. I’m looking forward to having it behind me, but the next few weeks are really going to suck.

Best wishes and prayers for a speedy recovery.