Am I the asshole?

[NeverMarryAStripper 21905]

Actually, that's not right.  If you post on Surly you are definitely an asshole, but not "the" asshole

[ballrific 215]

Also, 17 items in a 10 item line doesnt necessarily mean you're an asshole, but you should probably burn in hell

['stache 21807]

I didn't know 10 item or less lines still existed. All of my local grocery stores replaced them with self checkout. I went to a Walmart Neighborhood Market recently for the first time in probably 5 years and they didn't have a single regular checkout, just a huge section of 10 self check-outs. Bunch of effing nonsense. Oh, sorry, I mean "nobody waNTS TO WOrk aNYmORe."

[Guadaloopy 10964]

On 1/23/2023 at 12:08 PM, Helobious said:

Syphilis is curable

[Guadaloopy 10964]

On 1/24/2023 at 10:51 AM, MissingInAction said:

Not at all. Bonus points for anything you do which annoys Astros fans.

My top 3 groups to troll online:

1. aggy

2. Magatards

3. Astros fans.

They are pretty much all the same mental demographic.

One of those groups supports a winning organization.

[jeevsie 3734]

If you meet a Surly asshole in the morning...

[Pdawg88 1117]

I’ll play along. We just had a similar kind of odd situation. We are selling our house here in Oklahoma, we live in a small town on the northwest side of Oklahoma City. Houses don’t pop up for sale much, when they do they sell pretty fast. We had 5 acres, 30’x60’ shop, pool, everything a man could want. Problem was my neighbor and I don’t get along at all, he’s a cunt. None the less we list our house on a Friday, by the next Friday we have two offers. One is $1,000 over ask the other is $5,000 over ask. I took the lesser of the two. My reasoning. The one that was higher is best friends with my neighbor who I can’t stand. The way I look at it, fuck him. He’s not going to get to enjoy everything I built. My friends say I’m being an asshole. What say y’all? 

[Deej 76766]

Beat them to the punch and build your own privacy fence, then tear it down Akita44 style.

[Celery Man 20937]

25 minutes ago, Pdawg88 said:

I’ll play along. We just had a similar kind of odd situation. We are selling our house here in Oklahoma, we live in a small town on the northwest side of Oklahoma 

Asshole

[Pdawg88 1117]

2 minutes ago, Celery Man said:

Asshole

Fair enough 

[Redneck Mutha 7954]

1 hour ago, Pdawg88 said:

I’ll play along. We just had a similar kind of odd situation. We are selling our house here in Oklahoma, we live in a small town on the northwest side of Oklahoma City. Houses don’t pop up for sale much, when they do they sell pretty fast. We had 5 acres, 30’x60’ shop, pool, everything a man could want. Problem was my neighbor and I don’t get along at all, he’s a cunt. None the less we list our house on a Friday, by the next Friday we have two offers. One is $1,000 over ask the other is $5,000 over ask. I took the lesser of the two. My reasoning. The one that was higher is best friends with my neighbor who I can’t stand. The way I look at it, fuck him. He’s not going to get to enjoy everything I built. My friends say I’m being an asshole. What say y’all? 

Gave up a few thousand dollars for spite?  Nice.

Now get some REAL satisfaction.  Turn it up to 11 and let your neighbor know what you did.

[Fudge Nuggets 19190]

13 minutes ago, Redneck Mutha said:

Now get some REAL satisfaction.  Turn it up to 11 and let your neighbor know what you did.

And fuck his wife.

[Pdawg88 1117]

1 hour ago, Redneck Mutha said:

Gave up a few thousand dollars for spite?  Nice.

Now get some REAL satisfaction.  Turn it up to 11 and let your neighbor know what you did.

 

1 hour ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

And fuck his wife.

Few thousand bucks is still a few thousand bucks don’t get me wrong. But this is Surly and we are are wealthy. And I, nor you would want to fuck his wife. 

Edited January 26, 2023 by Pdawg88

[NYTransplant 145]

4 hours ago, Pdawg88 said:

I’ll play along. We just had a similar kind of odd situation. We are selling our house here in Oklahoma, we live in a small town on the northwest side of Oklahoma City. Houses don’t pop up for sale much, when they do they sell pretty fast. We had 5 acres, 30’x60’ shop, pool, everything a man could want. Problem was my neighbor and I don’t get along at all, he’s a cunt. None the less we list our house on a Friday, by the next Friday we have two offers. One is $1,000 over ask the other is $5,000 over ask. I took the lesser of the two. My reasoning. The one that was higher is best friends with my neighbor who I can’t stand. The way I look at it, fuck him. He’s not going to get to enjoy everything I built. My friends say I’m being an asshole. What say y’all? 

[Bullneck 19084]

2 hours ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

And fuck his wife.

 

 

[Bullneck 19084]

8 hours ago, hobbes2702 said:

Liking a pro sports team based solely on geography is weird to me. 

 

[SHOOTER12 8805]

6 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Actually, that's not right.  If you post on Surly you are definitely an asshole, but not "the" asshole

...and that's fair.

[Captain Obvious 516]

6 hours ago, 'stache said:

I didn't know 10 item or less lines still existed. All of my local grocery stores replaced them with self checkout. I went to a Walmart Neighborhood Market recently for the first time in probably 5 years and they didn't have a single regular checkout, just a huge section of 10 self check-outs. Bunch of effing nonsense. Oh, sorry, I mean "nobody waNTS TO WOrk aNYmORe."

I would much, much rather have zero regular checkout lines than only 1 self-checkout line, or God forbid, no self-checkout line.  Waiting for Walmart/grocery store checkout workers slowly scan and bag stuff is more painful that watching Zeke try to outrun a defender at this point.

Edited January 26, 2023 by Captain Obvious

[Fudge Nuggets 19190]

8 hours ago, Pdawg88 said:

 

Few thousand bucks is still a few thousand bucks don’t get me wrong. But this is Surly and we are are wealthy. And I, nor you would want to fuck his wife. 

Want has nothing to do with it. We’re talking alpha power move stuff here. 

[MissingInAction 25051]

17 hours ago, Guadaloopy said:

One of those groups supports a cheating organization.

FIFY

[jeevsie 3734]

18 hours ago, Pdawg88 said:

I’ll play along. We just had a similar kind of odd situation. We are selling our house here in Oklahoma, we live in a small town on the northwest side of Oklahoma City. Houses don’t pop up for sale much, when they do they sell pretty fast. We had 5 acres, 30’x60’ shop, pool, everything a man could want. Problem was my neighbor and I don’t get along at all, he’s a cunt. None the less we list our house on a Friday, by the next Friday we have two offers. One is $1,000 over ask the other is $5,000 over ask. I took the lesser of the two. My reasoning. The one that was higher is best friends with my neighbor who I can’t stand. The way I look at it, fuck him. He’s not going to get to enjoy everything I built. My friends say I’m being an asshole. What say y’all? 

This level of pettiness should be celebrated.

[Nuge 1967]

18 hours ago, Pdawg88 said:

I’ll play along. We just had a similar kind of odd situation. We are selling our house here in Oklahoma, we live in a small town on the northwest side of Oklahoma City. Houses don’t pop up for sale much, when they do they sell pretty fast. We had 5 acres, 30’x60’ shop, pool, everything a man could want. Problem was my neighbor and I don’t get along at all, he’s a cunt. None the less we list our house on a Friday, by the next Friday we have two offers. One is $1,000 over ask the other is $5,000 over ask. I took the lesser of the two. My reasoning. The one that was higher is best friends with my neighbor who I can’t stand. The way I look at it, fuck him. He’s not going to get to enjoy everything I built. My friends say I’m being an asshole. What say y’all? 

Why not have the prospective buyers get into a bidding war and then still take the offer from the non-friend?

Could get that $4000 difference back.

[Celery Man 20937]

I drank a Mr. Pibb. AiTA?

[Surly Bevo 24908]

10 minutes ago, Nuge said:

Why not have the prospective buyers get into a bidding war and then still take the offer from the non-friend?

Could get that $4000 difference back.

That's what Costanza would do and then the buyer he wants to sell to would walk

[Nuge 1967]

2 minutes ago, Surly Bevo said:

That's what Costanza would do and then the buyer he wants to sell to would walk

Good point.  Always do the opposite of Costanza.

[Frank Drebin 5666]

On 1/23/2023 at 11:01 AM, huge said:

The idea of preferring a chain link fence in my back yard is so foreign I cannot answer the question without my head exploding.

 

But you post here so yes, you are the asshole.

OP probably has a pit bull or two.

[Js1 85318]

13 hours ago, Captain Obvious said:

I would much, much rather have zero regular checkout lines than only 1 self-checkout line, or God forbid, no self-checkout line.  Waiting for Walmart/grocery store checkout workers slowly scan and bag stuff is more painful that watching Zeke try to outrun a defender at this point.

HEB is the exception.  At least mine is.  Those people are FAST - my cart is usually ready to roll before the slow ass card machine is done processing my payment.

[immamac 42843]

Fence AITA - NAH, builder is just trying to do their job, you are just trying to not deal with bullshit and the owners of the new home probably have no fucking idea of what's going on. I will say that the reading comprehension on this board is suspect as the fence was not "free" or 'at the cost of the builder' it was phrased in a way that made me understand that it would be the raw cost with no markup for the fence being built. like he had to still buy the fence, but they would build it for free essentially. 

 

Groceries 17 in 10 or less line - YTA, go fuck yourself bitch.

 

Home sale - NTA, your neighbor is a cunt and it's your property. How did you find out it was their best friend though?

[irishtexan 11518]

19 hours ago, Pdawg88 said:

I’ll play along. We just had a similar kind of odd situation. We are selling our house here in Oklahoma, we live in a small town on the northwest side of Oklahoma City. Houses don’t pop up for sale much, when they do they sell pretty fast. We had 5 acres, 30’x60’ shop, pool, everything a man could want. Problem was my neighbor and I don’t get along at all, he’s a cunt. None the less we list our house on a Friday, by the next Friday we have two offers. One is $1,000 over ask the other is $5,000 over ask. I took the lesser of the two. My reasoning. The one that was higher is best friends with my neighbor who I can’t stand. The way I look at it, fuck him. He’s not going to get to enjoy everything I built. My friends say I’m being an asshole. What say y’all? 

Spite is the world's greatest motivator.

[deadshank 24652]

@CooterBrown

found your Christmas present. 

[956 Worldwide 34706]

Over the limit at the grocery, is this a troll? I like you @Helobious but going over the limit in the grocery is like the platonic ideal of asshole behavior. Doing something worse than that puts you in “major asshole” territory. 

[Pdawg88 1117]

52 minutes ago, Nuge said:

Why not have the prospective buyers get into a bidding war and then still take the offer from the non-friend?

Could get that $4000 difference back.

I did. We basically told them if they came up another $10k it was theirs. $4k didn’t do much for me. $14k is a bit different. 

[Pdawg88 1117]

20 minutes ago, immamac said:

Fence AITA - NAH, builder is just trying to do their job, you are just trying to not deal with bullshit and the owners of the new home probably have no fucking idea of what's going on. I will say that the reading comprehension on this board is suspect as the fence was not "free" or 'at the cost of the builder' it was phrased in a way that made me understand that it would be the raw cost with no markup for the fence being built. like he had to still buy the fence, but they would build it for free essentially. 

 

Groceries 17 in 10 or less line - YTA, go fuck yourself bitch.

 

Home sale - NTA, your neighbor is a cunt and it's your property. How did you find out it was their best friend though?

The other realtor told us the name of the people, again small town I knew who they were. I have tried to be very nice to him, but he has been nothing but a cunt to me. I tried shaking his hand one day and he wouldn’t do it. So they can both go fuck them selves! 

[Helobious 9448]

5 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:

Over the limit at the grocery, is this a troll? I like you @Helobious but going over the limit in the grocery is like the platonic ideal of asshole behavior. Doing something worse than that puts you in “major asshole” territory. 

You should’ve seen the lines at the regular checkout. I know no one on here believes it but I really am pretty fast at the self-checkout and was of the opinion I could do all my 17 items in the same time most people do 10. Fwiw the HEB employee overseeing the area didn’t notice/care at all. I guess some people have made decent points though, I think going forward I won’t go above 12 or 13 items. 

[South Austin 52484]

9 minutes ago, Helobious said:

I guess some people have made decent points though, I think going forward I won’t go above 12 or 13 items. 

[956 Worldwide 34706]

11 minutes ago, Helobious said:

You should’ve seen the lines at the regular checkout. I know no one on here believes it but I really am pretty fast at the self-checkout and was of the opinion I could do all my 17 items in the same time most people do 10. Fwiw the HEB employee overseeing the area didn’t notice/care at all. I guess some people have made decent points though, I think going forward I won’t go above 12 or 13 items. 

Dude, stick to ten.  I’ll outline my “Danny McBride Theory of Anti-Social Behavior” for understanding various pejoratives:

Asshole: Someone who is self-centered to the extent they do not care about how their behavior inconveniences other people. They understand usually no one will stop them. They aren’t actively trying to fuck other people over, they just don’t care if they do. Example: Danny McBride as Kenny Powers. 
 

Dick: Someone who is unpleasant and abrasive on purpose, for no discernible benefit to themselves, and who hide behind and exercise authority or power to get away with it. Example: Danny McBride in Vice Principals.

Piece of Shit: Someone who actively tries to fuck over other people and behaves unethically for their own benefit. Usually involves active malice and planning. Example: Danny McBride in The Righteous Gemstones. 

Edited January 26, 2023 by 956 Worldwide

[tigol 2395]

You should’ve seen the lines at the regular checkout. I know no one on here believes it but I really am pretty fast at the self-checkout and was of the opinion I could do all my 17 items in the same time most people do 10. Fwiw the HEB employee overseeing the area didn’t notice/care at all. I guess some people have made decent points though, I think going forward I won’t go above 12 or 13 items. 

The HEB employees don’t need to say anything to you. Management probably doesn’t want to put them in that position because you are clearly a Karen that would hold up the line further while explaining why the rules don’t apply to you. There is a fucking sign for a reason. Read it and respect the fucking ask. Fuck.

[HamsterHookah 112]

18 hours ago, Redneck Mutha said:

Gave up a few thousand dollars for spite?  Nice.

Now get some REAL satisfaction.  Turn it up to 11 and let your neighbor know what you did.

I love it!

One thing to think about before you taunt and rub your enemies nose in it is make sure it's not gonna bite you in the butt. I don't know how the legality or ethics of it works, but could he be in trouble for choosing a lower offer based on subjective things (race, color, creed, who is best friends) within real estate transactions? Or is that just with banks and realtors and not sellers?

Edited January 26, 2023 by HamsterHookah

[Chad Fuck 17673]

1 hour ago, Pdawg88 said:

I did. We basically told them if they came up another $10k it was theirs. $4k didn’t do much for me. $14k is a bit different. 

You know, you should take the higher money then let him move in.  Once the ink is signed, you can tell him what an asshole his buddy is and that's why the rate went up.  If the neighbor is as big an asshole as you say, they won't be friends for long.  Mo-money, and mo-spite. 

Edited January 26, 2023 by Chad Fuck

[Pdawg88 1117]

48 minutes ago, HamsterHookah said:

I love it!

One thing to think about before you taunt and rub your enemies nose in it is make sure it's not gonna bite you in the butt. I don't know how the legality or ethics of it works, but could he be in trouble for choosing a lower offer based on subjective things (race, color, creed, who is best friends) within real estate transactions? Or is that just with banks and realtors and not sellers?

Not to interrupt, but we talked about this with our realtor. One thing different in the offers was the asshole wanted a refrigerator. We have an old 1940’s international harvester fridge I’ve had on our back porch. Every trip we go on we buy stickers from skateboard shops, cool restaurants and stuff like that. He wanted it. So that was our out of it became a problem. 

[Celery Man 20937]

1 hour ago, Pdawg88 said:

The other realtor told us the name of the people, again small town I knew who they were. I have tried to be very nice to him, but he has been nothing but a cunt to me. I tried shaking his hand one day and he wouldn’t do it. So they can both go fuck them selves! 

[Pdawg88 1117]

4 minutes ago, Celery Man said:

Great movie. Still can’t eat chocolate pretzels to this day 

[NeverMarryAStripper 21905]

2 hours ago, Helobious said:

I think going forward I won’t go above 12 or 13 items. 

Thanks.  When I find myself driving in the left lane in front of you I'll make sure that I don't go slower than 60

[BHMCruiser 1813]

22 hours ago, Pdawg88 said:

I’ll play along. We just had a similar kind of odd situation. We are selling our house here in Oklahoma, we live in a small town on the northwest side of Oklahoma City. Houses don’t pop up for sale much, when they do they sell pretty fast. We had 5 acres, 30’x60’ shop, pool, everything a man could want. Problem was my neighbor and I don’t get along at all, he’s a cunt. None the less we list our house on a Friday, by the next Friday we have two offers. One is $1,000 over ask the other is $5,000 over ask. I took the lesser of the two. My reasoning. The one that was higher is best friends with my neighbor who I can’t stand. The way I look at it, fuck him. He’s not going to get to enjoy everything I built. My friends say I’m being an asshole. What say y’all? 

I say you're missing an opportunity to make your neighbor's friend pay $50k over asking

[BHMCruiser 1813]

2 hours ago, Pdawg88 said:

The other realtor told us the name of the people, again small town I knew who they were. I have tried to be very nice to him, but he has been nothing but a cunt to me. I tried shaking his hand one day and he wouldn’t do it. So they can both go fuck them selves! 

oh in that case you should sell it to them and then burn it to the ground after the closing

[Covri 6249]

3 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

Dude, stick to ten.  I’ll outline my “Danny McBride Theory of Anti-Social Behavior” for understanding various pejoratives:

Asshole: Someone who is self-centered to the extent they do not care about how their behavior inconveniences other people. They understand usually no one will stop them. They aren’t actively trying to fuck other people over, they just don’t care if they do. Example: Danny McBride as Kenny Powers. 
 

Dick: Someone who is unpleasant and abrasive on purpose, for no discernible benefit to themselves, and who hide behind and exercise authority or power to get away with it. Example: Danny McBride in Vice Principals.

Piece of Shit: Someone who actively tries to fuck over other people and behaves unethically for their own benefit. Usually involves active malice and planning. Example: Danny McBride in The Righteous Gemstones. 

 

[Bevo&Pevo 5131]

Take the money and set up 3 or 4 cameras on 15' poles overlooking the fence into their backyard.

[Sam Lin 3556]

6 hours ago, Helobious said:

You should’ve seen the lines at the regular checkout. I know no one on here believes it but I really am pretty fast at the self-checkout and was of the opinion I could do all my 17 items in the same time most people do 10. Fwiw the HEB employee overseeing the area didn’t notice/care at all. I guess some people have made decent points though, I think going forward I won’t go above 12 or 13 items. 

to Bolivia

[High Plains Drifter 11046]

On 1/24/2023 at 10:21 AM, Helobious said:

Last one: am I an asshole for being from Texas and liking the Yankees? The part of the state I’m from is hours away from the closest pro team but the Yankees were on tv a lot. Baseball board is filled with sensitive pussy astro fans so that skews perception over there. I feel like it’s not even remotely a big deal and that no one should care.

 

you are not an asshole because you like the Yankees. You are an asshole because you won't shut the fuck up about liking the Yankees.

 

 

[WhatTheBuck 28777]

22 hours ago, Helobious said:

You should’ve seen the lines at the regular checkout. I know no one on here believes it but I really am pretty fast at the self-checkout and was of the opinion I could do all my 17 items in the same time most people do 10. Fwiw the HEB employee overseeing the area didn’t notice/care at all. I guess some people have made decent points though, I think going forward I won’t go above 12 or 13 items. 

That really is a bullshit excuse. ‘But if I didn’t break the rules then I would’ve had to wait my turn in the line where I belonged!’ Yeah, you mean like everyone else obeying the rules? You know, we’re living in a society. What about the people with just a few items who have to wait longer for the express checkout because you’re using a lane where you don’t belong? You think they’re standing there saying, ‘Oh, well, it’s okay because he’s ringing up his way-too-many items quickly?’ No, they all think you’re a douchebag.

Maybe the next time you’re waiting in line, use your time productively and Google “Kant’s Categorical Imperative.” Ask yourself what would happen if everyone followed your example and abused the express checkout lanes. The whole system would break down.

I posted this elsewhere but I’ve never seen an express self checkout lane. But I’m an ace in the self checkout lane. I’m making a game of memorizing the PLU codes for all my produce so I can just punch them in at the register. Garlic bulbs are 4608; that’s the most recent addition to my knowledge base. (They should adjust the “Item Look-Up” feature at the scanner to display the PLU codes for each item.)

This is a useful resource:

http://supermarketpage.com/prucodes.php