Jump to content

I learned today that I'd never cut it in the "Proud Boys"


Recommended Posts

Posted

"We see housewives as sentient beings who have an incredible gift."

I can't believe that pickup line isn't more of a panty-dropper.  Especially when followed up with, "I can jerk off for you if you'd like to continue to stand right there, three feet away."    

  • Like 1
  • Haha 5
Posted

"Babe, you're a sentient being with an incredible gift. Can I ejaculate within a yard of you?"

 

Posted

Imagine being a potential recruit and reading through all that. "Yep, uh huh, sure, oh well yeah that only makes sense, sure, yeah obviously...."

  • Haha 1
Posted
Just now, Red Five said:

Imagine being a potential recruit and reading through all that. "Yep, uh huh, sure, oh well yeah that only makes sense, sure, yeah obviously...."

I mean, people read this and think "yep, that's the group for me."

Posted
25 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

So they're actually NOT wankers..?

They're still wankers; they just lie about it.  

Regarding the one yard rule, I picture this scene with a rather cruel wife walking around the house while her idiot husband is stumbling around, boxers around his ankles just trying to keep up.  "Please touch it, Buela,...it's been three weeks for gods sake....at least slow down."

I wonder how many wives have woken up in the middle of the night to a breathless husband and a lingering smell. 

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
  • Drool 1
Posted
36 minutes ago, Red Five said:

Imagine being a potential recruit and reading through all that. "Yep, uh huh, sure, oh well yeah that only makes sense, sure, yeah obviously...."

The people who wrote this were incels coming up with some kind of idealized bullshit to explain away why they aren't getting laid, or they grew up with parents who probably beat the shit out of them if they caught them masturbating, and either way they are deeply ashamed about it.

35 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

So they're actually NOT wankers..?

They are, they are just constantly ashamed about it.

  • Hook 'Em 2
Posted
10 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

They are, they are just constantly ashamed about it.

we call that 'catholic guilt'

(along with a lot of other things)

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 1
Posted (edited)
16 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

The people who wrote this were incels coming up with some kind of idealized bullshit to explain away why they aren't getting laid, or they grew up with parents who probably beat the shit out of them if they caught them masturbating, and either way they are deeply ashamed about it.

They are, they are just constantly ashamed about it.

such a weird interconnection between /r/nofap, gamergate, and fascism

edit: I guess "incel" is dead square in the middle of that venn diagram though

Edited by Captainant
  • Hook 'Em 1
Posted
5 minutes ago, Captainant said:

such a weird interconnection between /r/nofap, gamergate, and fascism

edit: I guess "incel" is dead square in the middle of that venn diagram though

Eventually the incels will run into somebody equally as pathetic as them, who is willing to have sex with them.

Posted

Yeah, this is becoming the perverse version of "Don't Move, Hands in the Air!"

instead it's "Take out your genitalia!  But Don't touch your genitalia!"  

who would have thought Brisket's most twisted paranoias will end up being the most normal shit posted on here in a decade?

I have been pleading with Immamac to have like a safe thread or safe day or some shit where we all just finally get it all out there like those old "Ask a black dude a question: threads on TOS.  No judgements, no reps, no quoting after 36 hours, etc.  'Cause I really fucking wonder sometimes.

 

Posted
3 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

I've never seen so many people openly obsessed with not masturbating.

And when yo get into the GOP, obsessed with what's in their pants and what bathroom they use.

Lots of projection.

These fuckers think they are manly men.   Badasses, if you will.

They are the exact opposite.

Posted
These fuckers think they are manly men.   Badasses, if you will.
They are the exact opposite.

Yet, we have a bunch of idiots on this site and almost the entirety of texaggy that support politicians that condone the proud boys or flat out support them. Why? Is this another own the libs thing?
Posted
54 minutes ago, Patricio Swayze said:

I need the surly right wingers to explain this shit to me. These are y’all’s people. Don’t deny it.

I beleive this is best summarized by an oft quoted line about our friends from College Station....

From the outside looking in, you can't understand it. And from the inside looking out, you can't explain it.

  • Like 3
Posted
52 minutes ago, TexArcher said:

Any healthy male over 13 who isn't jerking off at least 5 times a week should be on an FBI watch list.

image.gif.dff90f32f4583b2add1734b4876a4465.gif

  • Haha 3
Posted
14 hours ago, Red Five said:

Imagine being a potential recruit and reading through all that. "Yep, uh huh, sure, oh well yeah that only makes sense, sure, yeah obviously...."

Eaog90uWoAEYm21.jpg

  • Haha 2
Posted
2 minutes ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

I’d bet proud boy gatherings have glory holes galore.

Where are the wives stationed?

Posted
1 hour ago, Bookman said:

Still can't believe that Trump told these dipshits to "stand back and stand by."

Takes on a whole new meaning 

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 2
  • Haha 5
Posted

I need the specifics of this one yard rule.  Does it mean the Proud Boy must be within a yard of the housewife to ejaculate?  Or does it count if he shoots his load and it lands within a yard of her while she's running away?

Posted

What if you're jerking off with a woman from a Nordic country and she only recognizes the metric system?  What of the One Yard Rule, then?  



×
×
  • Create New...