Kyle Rittenhouse 2.0

[YGIFS 19,452]

It's baffling to me that he couldn't make the cut there.  Although they pretend they're elite, they literally take anybody with a GED and pulse.  You don't even have to actually play an instrument, you just have to hold it.  

He's just a fatter version of Francis in "Stripes"...'Alls I know is I finally get to shoot somebody.' 

['stache 21,819]

18 minutes ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

He really would've been the perfect aggy corp turd. 

He’s too big of a pussy for even fake army. Just eat snacks and cosplay for the camera, because people are idiots and actually idolize him.

[DigglerontheHoof 21,202]

5 minutes ago, 'stache said:

He’s too big of a pussy for even fake army. Just eat snacks and cosplay for the camera, because people are idiots and actually idolize him.

you just described the aggy corp.  Your only omissions were collie worship ball squeezing. 

[Nice Guy Eddie 13,515]

Given the choice of going to Blinn vs making some type of living grifting people, honesty I might go with the grift option as well.  There is a reason that their notable alumni page only contains pro football players and zero Nobel laureates or CEOs.

['stache 21,819]

6 minutes ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

you just described the aggy corp.  Your only omissions were collie worship ball squeezing. 

They actually march from time to time. That fat little bitch would get winded after a dozen goose steps.

Edited February 6 by 'stache

[YGIFS 19,452]

10 minutes ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

Given the choice of going to Blinn vs making some type of living grifting people, honesty I might go with the grift option as well.  There is a reason that their notable alumni page only contains pro football players and zero Nobel laureates or CEOs.

Good point, being the dorky fat kid on a campus known for dorky, fat kids isn't all it's cracked up to be when you can tour the country making boatloads of money from stupid people and playing fake soldier/medic.  He'll eventually have his story ghostwritten into a book and Greg Abbott's campaign fund will buy $500k worth of copies and Kyle will be just fine.  I mean, he'll eventually fall into drug addiction and take his own life.  But he'll have a few laughs before that.  

[Gatorubet 30,246]

Actually, it won’t take that much money to produce the Bobert - Rittenhouse porn movie, “J6 Patriot Hookup” about a woman and the jail guard she ‘educates’ into becoming full MAGA.  

So many people on the right will buy this movie from our production company, Tactical Porn, that we will all be sitting on the beach earning 20%

[Mrs Whiggins 13,050]

53 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

It's baffling to me that he couldn't make the cut there.  Although they pretend they're elite, they literally take anybody with a GED and pulse. 

Based on the comments one page prior, he probably never completed the GED. So, the Lauren Boebert path to Congress is still on the table. If he did indeed drop out two years prior to Kenosha, then it might take him half a year of prep, (cause he doesn't seem all that bright), but he could pass the four tests needed. Until then, it's going to be a struggle other than the circuit he's currently riding.

[YGIFS 19,452]

16 minutes ago, Mrs Whiggins said:

Based on the comments one page prior, he probably never completed the GED. So, the Lauren Boebert path to Congress is still on the table. If he did indeed drop out two years prior to Kenosha, then it might take him half a year of prep, (cause he doesn't seem all that bright), but he could pass the four tests needed. Until then, it's going to be a struggle other than the circuit he's currently riding.

Yeah, the more I hear him speak...I think he's lightly mentally incapable.  Not disabled, but certainly "slow."  I think he just saw his moment of flex and started shooting.  And then was suddenly in the media spotlight and just not cognitively capable of handing it.  Yes, he's a murderous asshole.  But you can see from his trial to his current interviews, he's probably a 25%ile type of person.  Not disabled in any way, but extremely and extraordinarily stupid.  And he wakes up and 35% of America is pinning their hopes and dreams upon him.  It's a lot for any normal person to bear, let alone somebody as below-average as him.  I mean, he's got to live like this for another 50+ years probably.  That's an immense burden, but you gotta live with the consequences I suppose.  

I would not be at all surprised if Kyle takes his own life in the next ten years.  He just wasn't wired for this and he's just barely smart enough to notice it.  And that's gonna eat him up from the inside.  

[atomheartbevo 89,727]

5 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

He just wasn't wired for this and he's just barely smart enough to notice it.  And that's gonna eat him up from the inside.  

There’s probably plenty of people around him using him for their grifting and he doesn’t even realize it, and won’t until he stops being valuable to them and they stop returning his calls and texts. 

[South Austin 52,519]

2 hours ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

He really would've been the perfect aggy corp turd. 

We make fun of aggy corp, but they have to do a push up every once in a while.

[SamsCorner 395]

21 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

From all evidence, he doesn't even have the intelligence to match the already low levels of Boebert and MTG. Is there a Special Congress that would take him?

Texas House of Representatives.

 

[MissingInAction 25,106]

Austin City Council would be a perfect fit 

[Nice Guy Eddie 13,515]

[SimonBolivar 10,958]

On 1/16/2024 at 4:14 PM, YChang said:

Truly the Diogenes of our time. 

Who doesn't love masterbating in public as much as possible?

[MissingInAction 25,106]

[Goredho 17,408]

7 hours ago, Fastbreak said:

A reality show of "Rittenhouse Joins the Army" would literally break the internet.

P

[tx 3 putt 77,050]

😂😂😂😂

 

[C-Man 27,230]

On 2/6/2024 at 3:33 AM, Fastbreak said:

A reality show of "Rittenhouse Joins the Army" would literally break the internet.

[GenXer 2,882]

On 2/6/2024 at 8:16 AM, DigglerontheHoof said:

you just described the aggy corp.  Your only omissions were collie worship ball squeezing. 

From the way back machine

 

[Horn Under a Bad Sign 20,410]

When did Rittenhouse become an aging lesbian?

[YGIFS 19,452]

Sheriff Ritten P. Cocktrane?

[SydneyCarton 48,110]

1 hour ago, Horn Under a Bad Sign said:

When did Rittenhouse become an aging lesbian?

[Macanudo 12,989]

49 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

This is an insult to lesbians everywhere.

[Gatorubet 30,246]

On 2/6/2024 at 3:33 AM, Fastbreak said:

A reality show of "Rittenhouse Joins the Army" would literally break the internet.

The Russian army? I’d tune into that.

[tx 3 putt 77,050]

 

[DaysOff 7,951]

Lots of Tik tok videos show him crying liking a bitch and then running off stage. U of M students literally chased him off campus, but we can't post them around here because Chyna.

[Pato del Muerto 52,522]

Maybe he’d have felt tougher with an AR on his person. 

[Bozo_Casanova 26,488]

8 minutes ago, DaysOff said:

Lots of Tik tok videos show him crying liking a bitch and then running off stage. U of M students literally chased him off campus, but we can't post them around here because Chyna.

Here he is taking his dog and going.

here’s the view from inside the truck when he was leaving- (featuring goth cleavage)

Brave Sir Robin tells his tale

 

[royiv 9,324]

44 minutes ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

Here he is taking his dog and going.

here’s the view from inside the truck when he was leaving- (featuring goth cleavage)

Brave Sir Robin tells his tale

 

The picture of masculinity.

[Satchel 6,938]

2 hours ago, royiv said:

The picture of masculinity.

He has a different personality when he’s not shooting people.

[Nice Guy Eddie 13,515]

Guy in audience: Kirk has made racist comments.

Rittenhouse: What has Kirk said? (this is a fair question. I don't think Rittenhouse should be held responsible to know any or everything Kirk has said.)

Guy in audience: <rattles off several examples>

Rittenhouse: I can't comment on any of that. 

 

haha. Kyle, don't request questions that you can't or won't answer. Kyle doesn't have the brainpower to take on a hostile crowd. 

 

[DigglerontheHoof 21,202]

I feel bad for his dog. 

[Fudge Nuggets 19,206]

His dog is probably racist.

[Brisketexan 105,154]

3 hours ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

here’s the view from inside the truck when he was leaving- (featuring goth cleavage)

Cleavage is cleavage, man.  

[Matuka 1,310]

Hey guys, he wasn't booed off the stage, he had a hard cut-off time!

[Guest]

Why does he have a dog with him? 

Also, goth girl was... not what I was expecting.

[YGIFS 19,452]

50 minutes ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

I feel bad for his dog. 

 

25 minutes ago, Matuka said:

Hey guys, he wasn't booed off the stage, he had a hard cut-off time!

So he relies on a dog for his self-confidence and conveniently runs out of time when he's losing?  How is this guy not an Aggie?  

[speed817 19,378]

[MissingInAction 25,106]

On 2/6/2024 at 9:01 AM, Gatorubet said:

Actually, it won’t take that much money to produce the Bobert - Rittenhouse porn movie, “J6 Patriot Hookup” about a woman and the jail guard she ‘educates’ into becoming full MAGA.  

So many people on the right will buy this movie from our production company, Tactical Porn, that we will all be sitting on the beach earning 20%

[speed817 19,378]

On 2/6/2024 at 9:01 AM, Gatorubet said:

Actually, it won’t take that much money to produce the Bobert - Rittenhouse porn movie, “J6 Patriot Hookup” about a woman and the jail guard she ‘educates’ into becoming full MAGA.  

So many people on the right will buy this movie from our production company, Tactical Porn, that we will all be sitting on the beach earning 20%

Won't be available to watch here in Texas though!

Edited March 21 by speed817

[Bozo_Casanova 26,488]

47 minutes ago, FirstTimeCaller said:

Why does he have a dog with him? 

Also, goth girl was... not what I was expecting.

I like her moxie 

[SydneyCarton 48,110]

2 hours ago, YGIFS said:

 

So he relies on a dog for his self-confidence and conveniently runs out of time when he's losing?  How is this guy not an Aggie?  

Because he tried, but didn’t have the grades. For A&M. And then he didn’t have the grades to get in after going to blinn for a year or so…

[Bullneck 19,168]

On 2/20/2024 at 12:13 PM, GenXer said:

From the way back machine

 

So, does all this nut squeezing help your team?  The video above is at the 1:00 mark; let's go to the :30 mark and take a look:

 

 

[Bullneck 19,168]

 

 

[hookem2010 2,624]

So the guy who shot people up at a BLM rally thought it would be a good idea to speak at the University of Memphis? 

 

[Satchel 6,938]

Why is Kyle Rittenhouse speaking to college students?

[Willfully Horn 8,027]

Taking a break from the usual frottage, college Republicans employ their plan b, trolling, and book KR to speak in front of an auditorium. I suppose KR delivered his planned remarks. The first question asked of him was along the lines of why don’t you call out this right wing influencer for his racist spew. KR chose the stance of the flabbergasted. “What remarks?” The racist charge was supported by a fair number of examples. “I don’t know nothing about that,” KR responded. Well, now that you do know about that, will you call out those comments as racist, and therefore, unfuckingAmerican-ideal? “No comment.” Then came the fleeing of the trolls. (Which begs for an agreed upon signature tune).

If KR et al are your people, then you are a straight up chump.

[atomheartbevo 89,727]

32 minutes ago, Satchel said:

Why is Kyle Rittenhouse speaking to college students?

A bunch of those students’ parents got together to pay him to speak there, to scare their kids into showing up for class and turning in their assignments.

[South Austin 52,519]

This? This is Kyle. This is what happens when people get too sexually frustared.