I could make a hat, or a broach or a pterodactyl

[C-Man 27182]

 

12-year-old me thought Johnny from Airplane/Airplane II was the funniest actor on Earth.

 

[oSuJeff97 3435]

LOL same.

”Oooh it’s a big pretty white plane with red stripes…with curtains in the windows and wheels…. it looks like a big Tylenol!”

 

[mdmost 42997]

Look at this!

"Passengers Certain To Die".

"Airline Negligent".

There's a sale at Penney's!

[C-Man 27182]

The inspiration for this thread was Airplane II being on one of the HBO channels while I was eating lunch. Some of Johnny’s best lines are from Airplane II, which is pretty damn funny still.

“First the earth cooled. And then the dinosaurs came but they got too big and fat so they all died and turned into oil. Then the Arabs came and they bought Mercedes Benzes.”

“Fresno! Nobody goes to Fresno anymore.” (Said with such disdain)

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

[Native Horn 3498]

40 minutes ago, C-Man said:

 

12-year-old me thought Johnny from Airplane/Airplane II was the funniest actor on Earth.

 

The typing in this scene always slays me.

[thrillhammer 683]

and leon's getting larger.

[South Austin 52431]

Ted Striker: My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We’re bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We’re coming in from the north, below their radar.
Elaine Dickinson: When will you be back?
Ted Striker: I can’t tell you that. It’s classified.

[TrashMaster G 17536]

[HornOnTheBayou 8904]

Where did you get that dress, it's awful, and those shoes and that coat, jeeeeez!

[C-Man 27182]

23 minutes ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

Where did you get that dress, it's awful, and those shoes and that coat, jeeeeez!

One of my favorite lines!

[YGIFS 19449]

I find the character and  both films devoid of any humor.  Everyone on this thread sucks for perpetuating the scripts.  

[DixonHur 11292]

[Underdog 28544]

Greatness... 

And I find Mrs. Ovuer rather attractive. 

[locodos 5387]

Where's the forklift?

[jeevsie 3733]

1 hour ago, YGIFS said:

I find the character and  both films devoid of any humor.  Everyone on this thread sucks for perpetuating the scripts.  

There will be 99 with one opinion and one with the other.  Let's figure out which side you're on.

[oSuJeff97 3435]

1 hour ago, YGIFS said:

I find the character and  both films devoid of any humor.  Everyone on this thread sucks for perpetuating the scripts.  

 

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

1 hour ago, YGIFS said:

I find the character and  both films devoid of any humor.  Everyone on this thread sucks for perpetuating the scripts.  

[TheStoicPaisano 9922]

Ham on five, hold the mayo.

[mdmost 42997]

When I see him enter a thread to shit on something or give us a wall of text.

[Surly Bevo 24908]

11 minutes ago, mdmost said:

When I see him enter a thread to shit on something or give us a wall of text.

You forgot the part where the wall of text often involves him trying to be funny in the most excruciatingly unfunny way.  

[YGIFS 19449]

Oh c'mon man, you're an adult.  You can skip past my posts any time, but instead you choose to bitch on a weekly basis about how you don't read them despite incessant posting about not wanting read them.  Only time we worry about Surly Bevo is when he quits bitching.

Here's how I know you guys are fucking morons.  I love those movies and quote them regularly.  Johnny Jacobs was a national treasure.  How they went from Zero Hour to number two with almost the exact same framework is sublimely wonderful.  20 years of incessantly quoting Airplane/II, and you guys quoting me quoting shit and you pick one sarcastic post to bitch and moan?  Your fathers must be terribly proud of your cuntiness.  

We don't have a tower, sir.  

Edited March 2, 2023 by YGIFS

[McCroskey 1504]

I want the kids in bed by 9, I want the dog fed, the yard watered, and the gate locked.  And get a note to the milkman...no more CHEESE!

[YGIFS 19449]

It's the dumbest script device, but when he leaves home and gets in the car with the dude from the airline and hits the guy on the bike, and the guy shouts "asshole!", I cry every damn time.  

[0xdeadbeef 1645]

2 hours ago, YGIFS said:

I find the character and  both films devoid of any humor.  Everyone on this thread sucks for perpetuating the scripts.  

Both films?  You find the original Airplane devoid of humor?  

[YGIFS 19449]

I fucking love this is when you guys decide to take me seriously even though I've based most of my posting history on the love of these two movies.  What a weird fucking stand we've all chosen.  

[Incredulity 11643]

[YGIFS 19449]

Yes, I remember...I had the lasagna. 

[mdmost 42997]

[South Austin 52431]

Just now, mdmost said:

Guy on the right reading one of Lobo’s posts.

[YGIFS 19449]

wouldn't he be on the left?

[YGIFS 19449]

Also, what's the fastest land animal?  

[C-Man 27182]

The ongoing, increasingly outrageous Lloyd Bridges "Guess I picked the wrong week to stop smoking/drinking/sniffing glue/amphetamines" is also a highlight.

Also, 12-year-old me fucking died at the guy waiting for Striker to return to the cab the entire movie. Think he pops up after the credits saying something like, "20 more minutes and then I'm giving up" or something like that.

"The shit's gonna hit the fan" and "Boys, let's get some pictures" bits are so silly/stupid but I still laugh every time.

 

[YGIFS 19449]

I can't remember where I read it, but there's some story that the guy in the cab was an associate producer and filmed those scenes as a gag with the Zucker Brothers.  

[Upgrayedd 5810]

37 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

I can't remember where I read it, but there's some story that the guy in the cab was an associate producer and filmed those scenes as a gag with the Zucker Brothers.  

Close.

 The dude in the cab is Howard Jarvis, who was the front man for California Prop 13 tax initiative (capped property tax in at 2%).

He was in a cab though, so you got that correctly.

[BonzoMontreaux 1036]

4 hours ago, mdmost said:

James Hong is in his mid-90's and still working.  

More from Johnny...

Auntie Em, Uncle Henry, Toto! It's a twister! It's a twister! 

[DaysOff 7943]

I use Captain Oveur as my avatar on our Family Life 360.

[YGIFS 19449]

I thought you were Under Dunne?  

[South Austin 52431]

Passenger: Nervous?
Ted Striker: Yes.
Passenger: First time?
Ted Striker: No, I’ve been nervous lots of times.

[mdmost 42997]

[DixonHur 11292]

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

3 hours ago, BonzoMontreaux said:

James Hong is in his mid-90's and still working.  

[HornOnTheBayou 8904]

I think you're the greatest, but my dad says you don't work hard enough on defense. And he says that lots of times, you don't even run down court. And that you don't really try, except during the playoffs.

[Guadaloopy 10954]

The turboprop sound effect for the exterior shots of the jet is one of the dumb things that always gets a disproportionate laugh from me.

[South Austin 52431]

5 minutes ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

I think you're the greatest, but my dad says you don't work hard enough on defense. And he says that lots of times, you don't even run down court. And that you don't really try, except during the playoffs.

The hell I don't. Listen kid, I've been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I'm out there busting my buns every night. Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes.

[dcbc 14464]

4 hours ago, DaysOff said:

I use Captain Oveur as my avatar on our Family Life 360.

Avatar and Life360 Avatar combo are intriguing. 

[dcbc 14464]

My mom, unaware of what she was getting into, took my sister and I to see Airplane! in 1980.  I was seven.  So her timing was perfect.

 

At the time, the mayhem (and boobies) that followed the line, "No, we're also out of coffee" was my favorite part.

 

"Listen, Betty.  Don't start up with your white-zone shit again."

Edited March 3, 2023 by dcbc

[mdleast 8289]

[Loose Stool 112]

Don't call me Shirley

You can tell me, I'm a doctor

Also, the calm down bit where the lady is getting hysterical and there is a line of people wanting to beat the shit out of her

No parking in the red/white zone bit

[McCroskey 1504]

Gunderson, check the radar range. Anything yet?