2023 Houston Astros Thread

[Dnaguy 12,000]

2 minutes ago, Rockethorn1978 said:

Lmao. Of course. 

Dude was sitting on a curve. He almost got the previous 2 curves and he throws a curve down the middle. 
should have thrown the sinker.

way to fucking go Maldy. Way to earn your paycheck dumbass.

[Scraps 13,561]

Gunnar Henderon should be beaned for his walk up song

[Tommy Nobis 905]

Peña ever gonna learn to lay off the down and away breaking ball?

[Honeysucklerose 990]

I hate mf’ing Jeremy Peña

[Make em eat Taco Bell 1,549]

2 minutes ago, Honeysucklerose said:

I hate mf’ing Jeremy Peña

what about his sexy rear and gait? 

[Wulaw Horn 19,077]

27 minutes ago, Honeysucklerose said:

Ok boys. Tonight is where the push begins. Let’s roll.

Not looking good. 
fucking Tucker. 

[Scraps 13,561]

What a dumbass

[WBT 20,587]

I didn't even get to make my Framber Vander Meer post

[cabowabo 4,487]

Dumb decision. We suck. 

[David Dennison 18,905]

Two bad plays in a row.

This team needs to get its shit together.

[Honeysucklerose 990]

Not looking good. 
fucking Tucker. 

Sigh.

[Scraps 13,561]

Dude take the out dingleberry

[Wulaw Horn 19,077]

Maldy with a live action passed ball. 

[Dnaguy 12,000]

Astros going full retard

[UTHornFan014 710]

I think at this point I'll just be happy if we make the playoffs as a wildcard team. This team doesn't seem like they give a shit right now

[Scraps 13,561]

Put in Singleton already for the comeback

[Scraps 13,561]

Nice pitch

[Rockethorn1978 6,092]

This offense is broken and I have zero faith we’re gonna turn it around when our option is singleton. Haha.

[Honeysucklerose 990]

Ballgame. Will be down 4 games by midnight. Man

[Wulaw Horn 19,077]

Wheeeeeeeee!  Glad fat fuck is so fucking instrumental to catching every GD pitcher on this staff. 

[Guadaloopy 10,973]

Well this kinda sucks.   Lotta ball to play tonight.  

[Dnaguy 12,000]

It just feels like everything is so hard vs guys having fun. 
We are good enough to make the playoffs.

But we seem to lack that ‘killer instinct.’

Things can change. It’s baseball.

But it’s the dog days of summer right now for fucking sure.

[Mitch Hedberg 2,090]

I remember when we were full of young guys who mashed.

[Scraps 13,561]

Camera man has no clue who the fuck Singleton is

[Make em eat Taco Bell 1,549]

no hitter, then shit.  Not our year. 

bad news when the team savior is a 32 yo fatass minor leaguer hitting career 0.169

[Rockethorn1978 6,092]

I’ve enjoyed 7 years of kicking ass. 

[Guadaloopy 10,973]

13 minutes ago, Honeysucklerose said:

Ballgame. Will be down 4 games by midnight. Man

 

3 minutes ago, Make em eat Taco Bell said:

no hitter, then shit.  Not our year. 

bad news when the team savior is a 32 yo fatass minor leaguer hitting career 0.169

 

1 minute ago, Rockethorn1978 said:

I’ve enjoyed 7 years of kicking ass. 

[Mo Horn 8,849]

Been watching while eating dinner. Almost hurled my food. Nice RBI by Tuck. Hopefully they can climb back into this

[Honeysucklerose 990]

The most terrible part of the whole thing may be that we are stuck with Abreu for two more years.

[Mitch Hedberg 2,090]

The worst thing about Abreu is he obviously doesn’t have an oblique 

[Dnaguy 12,000]

2 minutes ago, Honeysucklerose said:

The most terrible part of the whole thing may be that we are stuck with Abreu for two more years.

Don’t be surprised if they just eat the contract and designate him this off-season.

He has fallen off harder than any MVP I’ve seen in a while. I could understand if it’s an injury. But also, that’s some shady shit signing a 60 mil contract knowing you aren’t even close to 100% … and 3 years?!

[Dnaguy 12,000]

Where are the fans?

[Dutchrudder 11,141]

4 minutes ago, Dnaguy said:

Where are the fans?

I heard they got suspended for not cheering loud enough.

[Mitch Hedberg 2,090]

9 minutes ago, Dnaguy said:

Don’t be surprised if they just eat the contract and designate him this off-season.

He has fallen off harder than any MVP I’ve seen in a while. I could understand if it’s an injury. But also, that’s some shady shit signing a 60 mil contract knowing you aren’t even close to 100% … and 3 years?!

I don’t think they will eat two years but if he does this again next year they might at some point. Yuli hit like .235 the year before he won the batting title in 2021. Maybe Astros will have lightning strike twice at first with old Cubans.

[Mitch Hedberg 2,090]

Good play by Jake not taking for granted Yordan had that. Gotta give credit when it’s due to my whipping boy.

[David Dennison 18,905]

15 minutes ago, Dnaguy said:

Don’t be surprised if they just eat the contract and designate him this off-season.

He has fallen off harder than any MVP I’ve seen in a while. I could understand if it’s an injury. But also, that’s some shady shit signing a 60 mil contract knowing you aren’t even close to 100% … and 3 years?!

Wait. You're blaming Abreu for signing that contract?

Edited August 9, 2023 by David Dennison

[Mo Horn 8,849]

Not our night folks

[Dutchrudder 11,141]

So close...

[Honeysucklerose 990]

Not our night folks

Not our night for much of the year

[Scraps 13,561]

Abreu needs to get on the juice...fuck it

[BrickTop 477]

Abreu seems like he comes up and just decides to swing, regardless of the pitch, he just yolo’s it

[Scraps 13,561]

He was safe anyway idiot.

[Wulaw Horn 19,077]

He was safe. Go sit down jackass. 

[Scraps 13,561]

Speaking of juice....Hyde roid rage alert

[WBT 20,587]

Pinch hit Chas fuckhead

[Mo Horn 8,849]

And now we'll watch Maldonado shit the bed

[Scraps 13,561]

No fucking way this works

[David Dennison 18,905]

We deserve to lose because of decisions like that.

[Mo Horn 8,849]

Fuck. I really wanted to be wrong

[Wulaw Horn 19,077]

He couldn’t hit this guy’s off speed with an ironing board. Ha.