2023 Houston Astros Thread

[Scraps 13518]

Getting punked by a fucking benchwarmer over here

[cabowabo 4446]

Say what you want about our shitty offense, but we ain't doing shit in the playoffs with Framber and Javier pitching like they've pitched most of the season. JP France has been our best pitcher and it ain't even close.

[mbtex 683]

This team is broke right now. Framber needs to remove the braids.

[Mo Horn 8787]

Was out to dinner. Just got home and saw the score. Framber has lost his mojo. Other than his no-hitter he has been meh.

[Dutchrudder 11094]

C'mon Altuve, party like it's 1999!

[Mo Horn 8787]

Is that 2000?

[Smax 3799]

Such a tuve move, being thrown out going for Xtra in hit 2k

[David Dennison 18509]

Classic Altuve.

[Guest]

So perfect.

Tuve2KTootblan

[Storm the Field 5268]

This team is good, but cursed. Anytime an Astro gets hot, they get sick/hurt.  The ideal 2023 Astros team has taken the field maybe 20 out of 100 games.

We'll end up winning 90 games, which ain't bad, but that's it. 

Shitty luck finally caught up to old-school, hard-headed manger. 

God, I hope this post ages like room temperature milk.

 

 

Edited August 20, 2023 by Storm the Field

[cabowabo 4446]

Getting thrown out at 2nd down by 4. Lol.

[David Dennison 18509]

Classic Bregman.

[Limp Brisket 545]

Touché 

[Scraps 13518]

Biggio 3000 and Altuve 2000 lmao

[Gut Wagon 8051]

At least it's almost football season. 

[David Dennison 18509]

2 minutes ago, Gut Wagon said:

At least it's almost football season. 

[Storm the Field 5268]

Rags lost, so we're not losing any ground so far, but Mariners have their noses in our ass and a few hours away from being in the middle of the wild card race.

So fucking annoying. Their team is the hottest player on the planet,  8 beer leaguers, and a bunch of procedurally-generated pitchers and they're beating everyone.

 

[Wulaw Horn 18949]

Another AB, another extra base hit for diaz. 

ho hum. Sit him for another week moron. 

[Overlord 366]

Jeremy Pena - Automatic Out

Sorry not sorry

[Scraps 13518]

We are very unclutch

[Overlord 366]

Holy shit. Is Montero righting the ship?

He’s putting together some good innings, and his stuff tonight looked pretty good. 

[Gut Wagon 8051]

Right now we're so lifeless I almost expect us to win 7-6. I said almost. 

[Scraps 13518]

This haggerty bitch is playing everything perfect off the wall. Time to hit it over the wall

Emphasizes "bitch"

[Make em eat Taco Bell 1549]

Astros cannot win the same day when Texas loses. It's physically impossible. 

[Honeysucklerose 956]

This is awful

[Jshep34 2299]

Would you trade Pena this off season for the right return?

[perfectchaos007 6583]

Hopefully Tucker feels good enough to play tomorrow. Maybe we can avoid a sweep if he plays

[Make em eat Taco Bell 1549]

Just now, perfectchaos007 said:

Hopefully Tucker feels good enough to play tomorrow. Maybe we can avoid a sweep if he plays

Tucker is a top 5 player in all of MLB, team drops to dogshit when he's out. Ohtani, the 2 Atlanta guys (P/Acuna), Tucker, and perhaps 1 other.  Being in a contract year is the key to excellence.  

[Rip76 4906]

3 minutes ago, Jshep34 said:

Would you trade Pena this off season for the right return?

In a second.

[Honeysucklerose 956]

We have zero urgency.

[Scraps 13518]

Would you trade Pena this off season for the right return?

That return would suck cause he sucks

[Scraps 13518]

Yordan sucking, pena sucks, framber sucks, the usual suspects suck, tuckers sick

[tx 3 putt 75998]

5 minutes ago, Scraps said:

Yordan sucking, pena sucks, framber sucks, the usual suspects suck, tuckers sick

grae has Covid !!!

[perfectchaos007 6583]

This is Altuve's big day. Let him pitch the 9th

[Overlord 366]

If Mushinski wasn’t wearing an Astros uniform I’d be sure he was a plumber. 

[Gut Wagon 8051]

In retrospect, was Seattle the toughest team we faced last fall? I think so. They came within a couple swings of knocking us out.  They might not have improved much since then, at least on paper, but we've for sure taken a big step back.

[UTPhil2006 3786]

19 minutes ago, Make em eat Taco Bell said:

Tucker is a top 5 player in all of MLB, team drops to dogshit when he's out. Ohtani, the 2 Atlanta guys (P/Acuna), Tucker, and perhaps 1 other.  Being in a contract year is the key to excellence.  

It’s 2025?

[tx 3 putt 75998]

7 minutes ago, Gut Wagon said:

In retrospect, was Seattle the toughest team we faced last fall? I think so. They came within a couple swings of knocking us out.  They might not have improved much since then, at least on paper, but we've for sure taken a big step back.

Seattle or Houston wins it all last year 

[Overlord 366]

Corey Julks? What is going on here? Shouldn’t he be down in Sugarland, sculking about missed opportunity. 

[Wulaw Horn 18949]

26 minutes ago, Jshep34 said:

Would you trade Pena this off season for the right return?

Yes. 

[perfectchaos007 6583]

In hindsight we should have kept Siri and traded Pena. 

[tx 3 putt 75998]

3 minutes ago, perfectchaos007 said:

In hindsight we should have kept Siri and traded Pena. 

Siri’s dancing / celebrating skills are second to none 

[Make em eat Taco Bell 1549]

12 minutes ago, UTPhil2006 said:

It’s 2025?

the extension is a thing, no?

[Dutchrudder 11094]

7 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

Yes. 

Why? He's a sophomore in a slump year, give him at least another year to get better. Dude was nails in the postseason last year, and you aren't getting a better Shortstop to replace him, unless you think Grae or Dubon is somehow better. 

[YChang 3425]

what a pathetic showing 

[Mitch Hedberg 2090]

1 hour ago, Jshep34 said:

Would you trade Pena this off season for the right return?

I would have traded him this year and every year. He’s an average major leaguer but in no way a trade deal breaker. Always available. 

[tx 3 putt 75998]

Julks broke his O’fwr streak !

[David Dennison 18509]

1 hour ago, Gut Wagon said:

In retrospect, was Seattle the toughest team we faced last fall? I think so. They came within a couple swings of knocking us out.  They might not have improved much since then, at least on paper, but we've for sure taken a big step back.

They can win this division.

[Fudge Nuggets 19115]

3 hours ago, Storm the Field said:

Rags lost, so we're not losing any ground so far, but Mariners have their noses in our ass and a few hours away from being in the middle of the wild card race.

So fucking annoying. Their team is the hottest player on the planet,  8 beer leaguers, and a bunch of procedurally-generated pitchers and they're beating everyone.

 

Every year they go on a tear where they win 15 in a row and wind up in 2nd or 3rd in the division.  Usually the 15 game win streak happens in May or June, they just saved it until August this time.  Would have been nice if half our fucking roster wasn't hurt for the first half of the season.

[Fudge Nuggets 19115]

2 hours ago, perfectchaos007 said:

In hindsight we should have kept Siri and traded Pena. 

We don't win the 2022 World Series with Siri on the roster and Pena in Tampa.  Maybe we have a better chance at a WS this year or next, but I'll take the bird in the hand.