2023 Houston Astros Thread

[perfectchaos007 6,642]

Yay we salvaged a game against the Athletics's. Well earned rest day tomorrow 

[Guadaloopy 10,971]

1 hour ago, Beau Vine said:

Your first no no in person being a 5-pitcher effort against Oakland would be kinda like losing your virginity to Holly Rowe.

[Scraps 13,561]

Bennett Sousa huh

[tx 3 putt 76,958]

Let’s try to keep the death threats to a minimum today 

[Guadaloopy 10,971]

1 minute ago, tx 3 putt said:

Let’s try to keep the death threats to a minimum today 

[Scraps 13,561]

Wrong thread

[Soliver465 404]

Just rolled into Kansas City for a long weekend and saw Jose Altuve walk right in front of down in the Plaza.Gave him a shout out and threw up the horns and got a big smile back.

I know CSB, but fuck the haters.

[Dutchrudder 11,139]

Happy Day Off! 

[Soliver465 404]

1 hour ago, Soliver465 said:

Just rolled into Kansas City for a long weekend and saw Jose Altuve walk right in front of down in the Plaza.Gave him a shout out and threw up the horns and got a big smile back.

I know CSB, but fuck the haters.

Currently drinking at Eddie V’s

Looking for Dusty and tomorrow night’s lineup card

[closetojumping 62,730]

1 hour ago, Soliver465 said:

Currently drinking at Eddie V’s

Looking for Dusty and tomorrow night’s lineup card

Give him a roofie, steal the lineup card and let the surly geniuses fill it out and turn it in. Release and untie Baker 15 minutes before game time tomorrow, push him out of your slow moving vehicle by the player gate at the stadium and then haul ass out of the parking lot. We're all counting on you.

[Soliver465 404]

36 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Give him a roofie, steal the lineup card and let the surly geniuses fill it out and turn it in. Release and untie Baker 15 minutes before game time tomorrow, push him out of your slow moving vehicle by the player gate at the stadium and then haul ass out of the parking lot. We're all counting on you.

I'm on it tomorrow.  I think they are staying next door at the Intercontinental.  I'll stake it out or go to the ribs/collard green place as soon as I find out where it is.

 

Chas and Yanier forever!

[henrygandorf 29,191]

stand outside the team hotel with a "free yainer" sign and get someone to take your photo.  one-man protest.  post on twitter.  go viral.  profit.

[David Dennison 18,860]

Well done, Toronto.

[tx 3 putt 76,958]

These next two weeks are going to be intense 

 

[UTexasFight 9,450]

Why was Eovaldi pulled after 3.1?

73 pitches. Not terribly effective but a 4-2 lead.

fastball was sitting 94 until his second to last pitch which was his first one over 95 at 96.4.

No Scherzer and ineffective Eovaldi can’t feel good if you’re a rangers fan 

(Says the guy whose team just saw their #1 and #2 lose to the A’s)

[animaltobacco11 107]

1 minute ago, UTexasFight said:

Why was Eovaldi pulled after 3.1?

73 pitches. Not terribly effective but a 4-2 lead.

fastball was sitting 94 until his second to last pitch which was his first one over 95 at 96.4.

No Scherzer and ineffective Eovaldi can’t feel good if you’re a rangers fan 

(Says the guy whose team just saw their #1 and #2 lose to the A’s)

Oh, our pitching is Torbush'ed, no doubt.

But we can be an agent of chaos and Leroy Jenkins as deep into the playoffs as possible if our offense is hot and hopefully ruin someone's year.

[Scraps 13,561]

If we do not absolutely fuck Greinke up then its over.

[tx 3 putt 76,958]

Sharpen up those resumes. Maybe one dick slaps can be Dusty’s assistant ….

 

[Fudge Nuggets 19,190]

7 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:

Sharpen up those resumes. Maybe one dick slaps can be Dusty’s assistant ….

 

They can't afford us.

[WBT 20,572]

Rangers swept 4 games at Toronto by a combined 35-9.  Fucking Canada

[Fudge Nuggets 19,190]

Astros need to continue to give Javier his average 6.87 in run support.

38 minutes ago, WBT said:

Rangers swept 4 games at Toronto by a combined 35-9.  Fucking Canada

How do you only score 9 runs in 4 games against that trash staff?

[Dutchrudder 11,139]

2 hours ago, WBT said:

Rangers swept 4 games at Toronto by a combined 35-9.  Fucking Canada

It's even worse when you look at the exchange rate.

1 hour ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

Astros need to continue to give Javier his average 6.87 in run support.

How do you only score 9 runs in 4 games against that trash staff?

Well the Astros just scored 8 runs in 3 games against the A's, sooooooooo.... yeah.........

[Fudge Nuggets 19,190]

18 hours ago, Dutchrudder said:

Happy Day Off! 

With Lil Shep outgrowing the "cute" stage, I think this kid should be the new mascot for Astros threads going forward.

Lil' Shep will always be #1 and gets his number retired, but it might be time for new blood.

1 minute ago, Dutchrudder said:

Well the Astros just scored 8 runs in 3 games against the A's, sooooooooo.... yeah.........

So you're saying we're due for an offensive explosion?  I'm down with that.

[Guadaloopy 10,971]

Really need 7 of the next 9.  Otherwise, the last week is going to be dicey.  

[Js1 85,339]

1 hour ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

So you're saying we're due for an offensive explosion?  I'm down with that.

Of course we are - we aren't playing at home this weekend. 

[n64ra 1,083]

3 hours ago, Dutchrudder said:

It's even worse when you look at the exchange rate.

Well the Astros just scored 8 runs in 3 games against the A's, sooooooooo.... yeah.........

If we had had a 4th game against Oakland, it'd probably be 9 runs in the series too.

[UTexasFight 9,450]

2 hours ago, Guadaloopy said:

Really need 7 of the next 9.  Otherwise, the last week is going to be dicey.  

Yep. I said we needed 7-2 in our nine against the A’s and Royals.

We’re 1-2. so need to sweep those two series and avoid getting swept at home against the O’s

[Jshep34 2,308]

Lilshep is currently working on golf game has a upcoming one vs one against his "rival". Crazy how quickly his "rival" and him have become friends. That lil girl could easily have the team wrapped around her finger. Heck she could convince dusty to actually play our best 9 more than once a year.

[runthebone 7,982]

Hope Greinke gets a couple wins to finish things off...but after tonight.

[UTexasFight 9,450]

Bummer he’s going tonight instead of tomorrow or Sunday… which means we only get him once in our 6 games against them in the next week, vs twice.

But we will get Jordan Lyles twice!

[UTexasFight 9,450]

For a team on track to lose 112 games, I’m disappointed the Royals won’t have a 20 game loser.

Grienke/Lyles on pace to combine for ~35 is pretty sweet though.

May be behind a paywall but I enjoyed this article from a month ago

https://www.wsj.com/sports/baseball/jordan-lyles-kansas-city-royals-pitcher-ffd0c8cd

He Eats Innings, Surrenders Runs and Loses Games—Which Makes Him Very Valuable

By taking the ball every five days and working deep into the game, the Royals’ Jordan Lyles is an example of a lost breed that helps his team win in the long run by losing

[Mitch Hedberg 2,090]

15 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:

Sharpen up those resumes. Maybe one dick slaps can be Dusty’s assistant ….

 

I may just go Costanza my way to GM. Where is that sonofabitch Crane? I’d like to give him a piece of my mind!

[Scraps 13,561]

[UTexasFight 9,450]

Solivar clearly didn’t execute today.

 

[Jshep34 2,308]

Perfect 1 thru 8

[Pablo 494]

fuckin' moldy

[kevwun 15,789]

He's gonna drop Chas to 9th at some point.  I can feel it.

Edited September 15, 2023 by kevwun

[Wulaw Horn 19,070]

6 minutes ago, kevwun said:

He's gonna drop Chas to 9th at some point.  I can feel it.

Well, is Chas a big boy Mr smart guy?  Nope. That’s Altuve, Tucker and Bregman. That’s it. Those are the only Big Boys. Dusty told me. 

[runthebone 7,982]

Can someone clarify being a big boy versus a fatty? 

[David Dennison 18,860]

2 minutes ago, runthebone said:

Can someone clarify being a big boy versus a fatty? 

Nanner puddin'.

[tx 3 putt 76,958]

16 minutes ago, kevwun said:

He's gonna drop Chas to 9th at some point.  I can feel it.

i like chas or pena at 9, set the table for Altuve and bregman 

 

 

 

 

6 minutes ago, runthebone said:

Can someone clarify being a big boy versus a fatty? 

Edited September 15, 2023 by tx 3 putt

[kevwun 15,789]

Maybe try Maldonado at 2nd.  He's should see better pitches in front of Yordan.

[runthebone 7,982]

1 minute ago, tx 3 putt said:

i like chas or pena at 9, set the table for Altuve and bregman 

 

 

 

 

Maybe festively plump?

[Soliver465 404]

48 minutes ago, UTexasFight said:

Solivar clearly didn’t execute today.

 

Please don't crowd source me.  Dusty lied.

[Mitch Hedberg 2,090]

I’m still not a fan of Pena in the 2 spot. I like him at 9 with Diaz catching but it is what it is. I know he was successful there last post season and has been doing better of late so not a huge deal. 

Edited September 15, 2023 by Mitch Hedberg

[Planet Houston 4,930]

47 minutes ago, runthebone said:

Can someone clarify being a big boy versus a fatty? 

Dusty would have benched Big Puma

[cabowabo 4,484]

Dusty is trolling us hard now by putting that fatass' pic on the lineup card.  

[WBT 20,572]

8 minutes ago, Planet Houston said:

Dusty would have benched Big Puma

Now do Babe Ruth

Definitely couldn't play outfield with JV pitching

[Wulaw Horn 19,070]

35 minutes ago, Planet Houston said:

Dusty would have benched Big Puma

Lance had such a fat face even when he wasn’t fat. 

[tx 3 putt 76,958]

Minute Maid batter’s eye getting a fresh coat of paint