2023 Houston Astros Thread

[UTexasFight 9,503]

I miss him 

 

[runthebone 8,014]

At least rosters aren't as huge as the old days, when you could put out an incredibly shitty lineup

[wildcat09 29,355]

Scott Servais will start a single A team tomorrow to fuck us.

[UTexasFight 9,503]

Had we celebrated tonight, would this have been the first time both locker rooms were popping bottles at the same time?

 

Edited October 1, 2023 by UTexasFight

[Wulaw Horn 19,115]

5 minutes ago, UTexasFight said:

Hopefully the rays have multiple PPP with nothing to play for and needing to get things line up/rested for the WC round 

Sure. Hell, Toronto might try their damndest to lose as well. It could be a 3 way race to the bottom with nobody putting up the slightest bit of a fight. 

[Wulaw Horn 19,115]

2 minutes ago, wildcat09 said:

Scott Servais will start a single A team tomorrow to fuck us.

Zero doubt. That rangers bullpen is bad enough to blow a lead to said team though by accident. 

[Storm the Field 5,295]

Thank god.

Most frustrating Astros team of all time finally does what seemed like a tap-in 2 weeks ago.

Let's fuck around and be that team that sneaks its way into the ALCS and then pisses the entire country off by making it to yet another WS.

 

[cabowabo 4,489]

13 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

If the rangers jump out to a lead and Seattle is in mail it in mode I think we should intentionally lose to stay on the twins ranger side of the bracket 

Damn, is it possible we could get routed to the Rays?

[UTexasFight 9,503]

Real time updates:

[tx 3 putt 77,081]

14 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

If the rangers jump out to a lead and Seattle is in mail it in mode I think we should intentionally lose to stay on the twins ranger side of the bracket 

servis is going to lay down to screw the Astros 

[UTexasFight 9,503]

Just now, cabowabo said:

Damn, is it possible we could get routed to the Rays?

Yes.

we win,

rays win.

headed to Tampa 

[cabowabo 4,489]

8 minutes ago, UTexasFight said:

I miss him 

 

[Overlord 366]

Did Julio end up accepting Neris’ apology?

just wondering. 

[cabowabo 4,489]

2 minutes ago, UTexasFight said:

Yes.

we win,

rays win.

headed to Tampa 

Man, fuck that. 
I doubt the Rays would rather play the Astros than the Jays, so they’ll likely roll over. 

Edited October 1, 2023 by cabowabo

[oh_snap 694]

 

 

found this matrix for seeding

 

[Wulaw Horn 19,115]

4 minutes ago, cabowabo said:

Damn, is it possible we could get routed to the Rays?

Yes. If texas wins, we win and the Jays lose. 

4 minutes ago, tx 3 putt said:

servis is going to lay down to screw the Astros 

I’m aware.  That’s why I’m suggesting we lose if that’s what is playing out. 

[DaysOff 7,951]

servis is going to lay down to screw the Astros 

Goddamnit

[Macklemore 2,872]

 

[David Dennison 18,923]

It don't make a shit.

[tx 3 putt 77,081]

Javier pitching tomorrow 

[DaysOff 7,951]

If the rangers jump out to a lead and Seattle is in mail it in mode I think we should intentionally lose to stay on the twins ranger side of the bracket 

Toothpick vascular dementia doesn't understand.

[Ojo Rojo 1,965]

We're in.  Fuck the haters and them kids.

[tx 3 putt 77,081]

[Gut Wagon 8,083]

If we somehow find ourselves "needing" to lose, I fully expect Dusty to march out the death lineup. 

[Macklemore 2,872]

 

[UTexasFight 9,503]

AL

1: Baltimore (clinched)

2: Texas with a rangers win or Astros loss

or Houston with an Astros win and Rangers loss

3: Minnesota (clinched)

4: Tampa (clinched)

5: Toronto with a Blue Jays win or Astros loss

or Houston with an Astros win, Rangers win and Blue Jays loss

or Texas with Rangers loss and Astros win

6: Houston with Rangers win and Astros and Blue Jays win or Rangers win and Astros and Blue Jays loss or Rangers and Astros loss

or

Blue Jays with Rangers win, Astros win and Blue Jays loss

 

NL

1: Braves (clinched)

2: Dodgers (clinched)

3: Brewers (clinched)

4: Phillies (clinched)

5 and 6: Miami or Arizona. Not getting in to that one thanks to the Marlins suspended game 

[Mitch Hedberg 2,090]

It’s my favorite time of year! Playoff baseball with you surly fuckers! 

[tx 3 putt 77,081]

Maldy spoked to the team after the game

 

[Pablo 494]

3 minutes ago, tx 3 putt said:

Maldy spoked to the team after the game

 

fuck moldy

[UTexasFight 9,503]

18 minutes ago, Macklemore said:

 

What does that mean?

That they’re doing pre and postgame stuff?

did they never do that in previous years?

Edited October 1, 2023 by UTexasFight

[tx 3 putt 77,081]

D backs partying 

 

[Macklemore 2,872]

1 minute ago, UTexasFight said:

What does that mean?

That they’re doing pre and postgame stuff?

Yes. Of course, they’re not going to broadcast the playoff games but will have pre and post game shows.

[BornOrange 1,441]

6 minutes ago, UTexasFight said:

What does that mean?

That they’re doing pre and postgame stuff?

did they never do that in previous years?

It means Sparks AND Blum in the locker room for playoff celebrations.......with JULIA of course.

Edited October 1, 2023 by BornOrange

[UTexasFight 9,503]

37 minutes ago, runthebone said:

At least rosters aren't as huge as the old days, when you could put out an incredibly shitty lineup

9 Jon Singleton’s for game 162!

[Mez2 4,024]

46 minutes ago, tx 3 putt said:

47 minutes ago, tx 3 putt said:

#HispanicHeritageMonth

palabra!

[tx 3 putt 77,081]

Rangers are celebrating hard tonight, per the gram

astros had a speech from maldy and a champagne toast ...

[tx 3 putt 77,081]

[Storm the Field 5,295]

[UTexasFight 9,503]

24 minutes ago, tx 3 putt said:

Those pics look like Maldy ate Abreu and spit him back out 

[Stros121 4]

41 minutes ago, tx 3 putt said:

Rangers are celebrating hard tonight, per the gram

astros had a speech from maldy and a champagne toast ...

How is he so fat? 

[runthebone 8,014]

20 minutes ago, UTexasFight said:

Those pics look like Maldy ate Abreu and spit him back out 

Abreu smartly must have doused himself in salad dressing.

[tx 3 putt 77,081]

14 minutes ago, Stros121 said:

How is he so fat? 

 

show more respect for the player of the game

[Shaggy3.0 1,695]

told ya'll they'd win today.  playoff spot clinched.

astros win the west on sunday.

bet the house.

 

[tx 3 putt 77,081]

Astros scenarios entering final day:

HOU win, TEX win, TOR win: Astros are No. 6 seed, playing Minnesota

HOU win, TEX win, TOR loss: Astros are No. 5 seed, playing Tampa

HOU win, TEX loss, TOR win/loss: Astros are division champs

HOU loss: Astros are No. 6 seed, playing Twins

[tx 3 putt 77,081]

This is the 17th year the Astros will participate in the playoffs. Here the managers who have led those teams:

4 -- AJ Hinch
4 -- Dusty Baker
4 -- Larry Dierker
2 -- Bill Virdon
2 -- Phil Garner
1 -- Hal Lanier

[TejasPedro 1,858]

Champagne is nice. They should have served trash can punch.

Did Dusty drink his champagne out of Maldy’s nut cup just to rub it in!

[Gut Wagon 8,083]

Those Mariners tears are tasty. Puget Sound adds a little extra salt.

[cabowabo 4,489]

How is he so fat? 

Go back and look at an opening day pic of him. He was actually in good shape. Much thinner. I understand gaining weight during the off-season. Dude has been slamming cheeseburgers instead of working out during the season. A consummate professional.

[Fudge Nuggets 19,206]

Lot of dudes look way worse at the end of the season than preseason.  They aren’t lifting nearly as much during the season so they start to get a bit flabby.  I remember in 2017 there was a picture of Bregman right after the season and he was a bit doughy.

[Fudge Nuggets 19,206]

7 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:

Glad to see them taking it easy.  After the bullshit they put us through the last few weeks, staying sober and trying to win a division title is the least they can do.