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2023 Rangers/Astros thread of hate

ztejas

By ztejas
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Before we get into things, I'd like to take a quick moment to congratulate Houston on their 2023 AL West division championship.

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ESPN loves them some Rangers nutsack.

They seem very optimistic...it's April, of course.

Honestly, the Rangers should be improved, but tap the brakes half a second.

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9 minutes ago, ztejas said:

Yeah that's why we haven't been on Sunday night in 10 years. 

I should have clarified, "This season."

The other part is mostly because of the suck in Arlington.

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gofuckyourself

gofuckyourself 8210

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10 hours ago, ztejas said:

(Radioing in for backup)

Apologies, I'm relatively new to the site as a poster but as a long-suffering Rangers fan with newfound outlandish expectations...lemme give it a shot:

Fuck the cheatin'-Asstros and their garbage(can)-ass players and shitass city. The only thing they'll be winning this year is the Geriatric Has-Beens Award and a Cy Young of Suckitude.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a Rangers team that will likely drop the next 5 of 7 to attend to. Good day sirs.

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TexArcher

TexArcher 37774

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Oh, look, the fair weather Rangers fans have awoken from their decade of slumber.  

Look, your pitching improved significantly, maybe enough to go from an abysmal 68-94 all the way to a mediocre 81-81.  But deGrom is a huge injury risk and Perez is a huge regression risk.  If both of those things go wrong, you might very well lose 90+ again.

So, don't start daydreaming about winning our division.  That would be pathetic even for the guys who think the Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl every year.  Even if y'all somehow miracle your way to 90 wins, you're still gonna be 10 to 15 games behind Houston.  Which is better than 38, like last season.  Jesus, 38.  But sign a couple of pitchers, and here y'all are, thumping your underdeveloped chests again.  It's actually kind of adorable, like when a Down Syndrome kid puts on a superhero costume.

In conclusion, the Rangers suck, Arlington sucks, your fair weather fanbase sucks, you suck, and your mom sucks.  And this thread will be a ghost town by July 4th.  Again.

 

Edited by TexArcher
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Hank Chinaski

Hank Chinaski 6314

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5 hours ago, formermav43 said:

The only hate I have is for this artificial “rivalry.”

Right. I just don’t hate the rangers. I liked them as a kid when the AL and NL were distinct (I wish they still were). They’d occasionally be on HSE in Houston. Usually we’d got to a game or two in Arlington each summer to see AL teams that never came through Houston. 

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Vic Mackey

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Oh, look, the fair weather Rangers fans have awoken from their decade of slumber.  
Look, your pitching improved significantly, maybe enough to go from an abysmal 68-94 all the way to a mediocre 81-81.  But deGrom is a huge injury risk and Perez is a huge regression risk.  If both of those things go wrong, you might very well lose 90+ again.
So, don't start daydreaming about winning our division.  That would be pathetic even for the guys who think the Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl every year.  Even if y'all somehow miracle your way to 90 wins, you're still gonna be 10 to 15 games behind Houston.  Which is better than 38, like last season.  Jesus, 38.  But sign a couple of pitchers, and here y'all are, thumping your underdeveloped chests again.  It's actually kind of adorable, like when a Down Syndrome kid puts on a superhero costume.
In conclusion, the Rangers suck, Arlington sucks, your fair weather fanbase sucks, you suck, and your mom sucks.  And this thread will be a ghost town by July 4th.  Again.
 
You mean like the Astros thread was a complete ghost town when Texas had really good teams in the early 2010s and Houston was one of the worst teams in baseball? Lulz
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Planet Houston

Planet Houston 4930

Posted
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6 hours ago, gofuckyourself said:

Apologies, I'm relatively new to the site as a poster but as a long-suffering Rangers fan with newfound outlandish expectations...lemme give it a shot:

Fuck the cheatin'-Asstros and their garbage(can)-ass players and shitass city. The only thing they'll be winning this year is the Geriatric Has-Beens Award and a Cy Young of Suckitude.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a Rangers team that will likely drop the next 5 of 7 to attend to. Good day sirs.

Accurate handle is accurate. 

Stros win the division and the giant Costco in Arlington is empty per usual in September. 

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gofuckyourself

gofuckyourself 8210

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I adopted the Rangers and Cowboys despite growing up in San Antonio due to family in Richardson. I lived in Dallas for a year but it really wasn't my kind of city.

But also I think Rangers games were just in TV more in San Antonio back then, late-80s early 90s. Plus Nolan pitching every few days was must-watch and reason enough to love the team.

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Wulaw Horn

Wulaw Horn 19069

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54 minutes ago, Hank Chinaski said:

Right. I just don’t hate the rangers. I liked them as a kid when the AL and NL were distinct (I wish they still were). They’d occasionally be on HSE in Houston. Usually we’d got to a game or two in Arlington each summer to see AL teams that never came through Houston. 

As the starter of the original thread the only reason I did it was to keep the unwashed masses out of our thread. 

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Surly Bevo

Surly Bevo 24908

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:
13 hours ago, TexArcher said:
Oh, look, the fair weather Rangers fans have awoken from their decade of slumber.  
Look, your pitching improved significantly, maybe enough to go from an abysmal 68-94 all the way to a mediocre 81-81.  But deGrom is a huge injury risk and Perez is a huge regression risk.  If both of those things go wrong, you might very well lose 90+ again.
So, don't start daydreaming about winning our division.  That would be pathetic even for the guys who think the Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl every year.  Even if y'all somehow miracle your way to 90 wins, you're still gonna be 10 to 15 games behind Houston.  Which is better than 38, like last season.  Jesus, 38.  But sign a couple of pitchers, and here y'all are, thumping your underdeveloped chests again.  It's actually kind of adorable, like when a Down Syndrome kid puts on a superhero costume.
In conclusion, the Rangers suck, Arlington sucks, your fair weather fanbase sucks, you suck, and your mom sucks.  And this thread will be a ghost town by July 4th.  Again.
 

You mean like the Astros thread was a complete ghost town when Texas had really good teams in the early 2010s and Houston was one of the worst teams in baseball? Lulz

All of what Vic said.  There are precisely two MAYBE three teams who can go through multiple mediocre to downright awful seasons and fans on this board will still support threads with a shitload of posts.  Texas Longhorns Football, the Dallas Cowboys and maaaybe Longhorns Basketball.  

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Helobious

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9 minutes ago, BornOrange said:

Speaking of teams whose soul belongs to the Astros.

Lol. Last season was the first year you could say the Astros were clearly better than the Yankees. The Yankees were the better team in 2017 and they were about even in 2019. Kind of looks like the Yankees are the AL team to beat right now after the start the Astros are off to, even you have to admit that.

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huge

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6 minutes ago, Helobious said:

Lol. Last season was the first year you could say the Astros were clearly better than the Yankees. The Yankees were the better team in 2017 and they were about even in 2019. Kind of looks like the Yankees are the AL team to beat right now after the start the Astros are off to, even you have to admit that.

No one is admitting shit

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Helobious

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18 minutes ago, TonyTexas said:

I’m all for Helobious spewing his Astro word vomit here instead of the MLB thread. This thread will be very easy to ignore. 

You have a whole bunch of nothing 6-9 now and no more Verlander. You can ignore me all you want, you can’t ignore that.  But y’all are right, this team is totally exactly like all the prior ones and you guys will be fine.

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BornOrange

BornOrange 1441

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2 hours ago, Helobious said:

Lol. Last season was the first year you could say the Astros were clearly better than the Yankees. The Yankees were the better team in 2017 and they were about even in 2019. Kind of looks like the Yankees are the AL team to beat right now after the start the Astros are off to, even you have to admit that.

Playoff games are the ones that count, right?

What is the yanks postseason record against the Astros?

What team has eliminated the yanks from the postseason the most times over the last 1,000,000 years?

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Helobious

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30 minutes ago, BornOrange said:

Playoff games are the ones that count, right?

What is the yanks postseason record against the Astros?

What team has eliminated the yanks from the postseason the most times over the last 1,000,000 years?

What team has the most World Series titles again? And before you cry about old days they both only have 2 titles since the new millennium. 

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Helobious

Helobious 9448

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I actually have respect for rangers fans. They know the game and have supported their team for a long time. The vast majority of Astros fans have only even followed the sport of baseball for about 6 or 7 years. Don’t believe me? How big was the Astros team thread in 2014? I still recall how most of them in the 2017 astro thread were shocked that the 2017 ALCS was a 2-3-2 format, as if it hadn’t been that way for as long as 7 game series were around. Astro fans don’t know the game at all. I went to several games at MMP back in 2009-13. Totally empty. How many people did you use to see with Astros hats & jerseys? Exactly. And it’s hilarious that they’ll call me a bandwagon for liking the Yankees. I’ve always loved the yankees and baseball itself. 

Edited by Helobious
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TexArcher

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3 hours ago, Helobious said:

You have a whole bunch of nothing 6-9 now and no more Verlander. You can ignore me all you want, you can’t ignore that.  But y’all are right, this team is totally exactly like all the prior ones and you guys will be fine.

You said Houston's run was over before last season, too, slapnuts...

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Liquor and Poker

Liquor and Poker 3659

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22 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:
On 4/3/2023 at 8:08 AM, TexArcher said:
Oh, look, the fair weather Rangers fans have awoken from their decade of slumber.  
 

You mean like the Astros thread was a complete ghost town when Texas had really good teams in the early 2010s and Houston was one of the worst teams in baseball? Lulz

Why would anyone go all-in for a pro sports team deliberately tanking for the future?  They're not coming to your job and rooting for you if you suck at it.

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Liquor and Poker

Liquor and Poker 3659

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3 hours ago, Helobious said:

You have a whole bunch of nothing 6-9 now and no more Verlander. You can ignore me all you want, you can’t ignore that.  But y’all are right, this team is totally exactly like all the prior ones and you guys will be fine.

I'm sorry you couldn't buy Verlander because you had to repurchase Aaron Judge.

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TexArcher

TexArcher 37774

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35 minutes ago, Helobious said:

I actually have respect for rangers fans. They know the game and have supported their team for a long time. The vast majority of Astros fans have only even followed the sport of baseball for about 6 or 7 years. Don’t believe me? How big was the Astros team thread in 2014? I still recall how most of them in the 2017 astro thread were shocked that the 2017 ALCS was a 2-3-2 format, as if it hadn’t been that way for as long as 7 game series were around. Astro fans don’t know the game at all. I went to several games at MMP back in 2009-13. Totally empty. How many people did you use to see with Astros hats & jerseys? Exactly. And it’s hilarious that they’ll call me a bandwagon for liking the Yankees. I’ve always loved the yankees and baseball itself. 

Every word of this is wrong, except for the part about you jumping on a bandwagon.

It's not even decent trolling.

This thread is about the Rangers and how much they suck.  Go back to the Bronx, I mean the Valley.

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Helobious

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10 minutes ago, TexArcher said:

Every word of this is wrong, except for the part about you jumping on a bandwagon.

It's not even decent trolling.

This thread is about the Rangers and how much they suck.  Go back to the Bronx, I mean the Valley.

I’m a new yorker trapped in a texan’s body

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Gucci_Suit

Gucci_Suit 2644

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On 4/3/2023 at 3:00 PM, Hank Chinaski said:

Right. I just don’t hate the rangers. I liked them as a kid when the AL and NL were distinct (I wish they still were). They’d occasionally be on HSE in Houston. Usually we’d got to a game or two in Arlington each summer to see AL teams that never came through Houston. 

This is how I’ve always felt about it as a Rangers guy. Went to games at the dome and Enron and Minute Maid all the time and always pulled for the Stros as a secondary team in the NL. Now… H-town fans have become a tad bit mouthy, but you get to do that when you win. You get to talk shit and it’s ok. Our boys in Arlington are building something tho. Maybe this could actually be a rivalry- I don’t think both teams have ever really been good at the same time. 

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Hank Chinaski

Hank Chinaski 6314

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4 minutes ago, Gucci_Suit said:

This is how I’ve always felt about it as a Rangers guy. Went to games at the dome and Enron and Minute Maid all the time and always pulled for the Stros as a secondary team in the NL. Now… H-town fans have become a tad bit mouthy, but you get to do that when you win. You get to talk shit and it’s ok. Our boys in Arlington are building something tho. Maybe this could actually be a rivalry- I don’t think both teams have ever really been good at the same time. 

‘15-‘16 I guess were the only years both were good while in the same division. 

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formermav43

formermav43 4606

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6 hours ago, Helobious said:

You have a whole bunch of nothing 6-9 now and no more Verlander. You can ignore me all you want, you can’t ignore that.  But y’all are right, this team is totally exactly like all the prior ones and you guys will be fine.

Umm, once Altuve is healthy, it's the same lineup that just won the World Series except subbing in Jose Abreu for the corpse of Yuli Gurriel. So it's not exactly the same, it's better there. We'll see how the pitching shakes out.

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