Missouri is gone and there’s no coming back

[Pancho 44487]

I have a feeling this thread will be updated a lot. We can start with this county refusing ti acknowledge the ATF. The ATF just needs to do it’s job so gun stores can open.

 

 

 

[atomheartbevo 89450]

So the ATF is trying to help four people open four gun stores in a county, and asked the county to verify the zoning so that the four individuals can get those stores opened.

And the county told them to fuck off.

Their would-be owners can't get get their paperwork processed, they can't get insurance, can't buy stock.  So those four potential gun stores cannot open because the county told the ATF to fuck off.

[MonkeyDoughnut 10145]

This one's a personal beef where the commissioners brother was "entrapped" by ATF agents "targeting" small gun stores in his county. He says ATF never gave them a heads up yada, yada and they are trying to force out small stores so only big box stores they can more easily monitor are left.  Commissioners brother owns one of the small stores.

While the original sting seemed like it was looking to entrap, the offense was basically they didn't do the required background checks nor required paperwork. Seems like good ole boy politics and ATF doing what it should be doing and commissioners just protecting his brothers shop for competing stores Boss Hogg style.

[TexArcher 37521]

This is when Missourians take up arms against the tyrannical state government that is infringing on their 2nd Amendment rights, right?

I mean, this is the exact reason y'all need all those personal home arsenals, right?

Don't be pussies.  Do it.

[Biff Tannen 45499]

We are eventually going to have a thread for every red state aren't we?

[WhatTheBuck 28713]

5 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

So the ATF is trying to help four people open four gun stores in a county, and asked the county to verify the zoning so that the four individuals can get those stores opened.

And the county told them to fuck off.

Their would-be owners can't get get their paperwork processed, they can't get insurance, can't buy stock.  So those four potential gun stores cannot open because the county told the ATF to fuck off.

That’ll show ‘em. 

[TheStoicPaisano 9904]

31 minutes ago, TexArcher said:

This is when Missourians take up arms against the tyrannical state government that is infringing on their 2nd Amendment rights, right?

I mean, this is the exact reason y'all need all those personal home arsenals, right?

Don't be pussies.  Do it.

Bonus points if he goes full Smails with the outfit.

[Macanudo 12928]

47 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

We are eventually going to have a thread for every red state aren't we?

And county.

[BamaATL 16592]

This is a crisis.  I'm not sure how seniors are going to deal with losing their pilgrimages to Branson.  Also, big Phrama is sure to lose out, there has been more STD's transmitted to seniors on these trips than anywhere else (save the villages, of course).  

[Bullneck 18987]

 

 

[tx 3 putt 76403]

I’d say go arrest them, but that’s what they want. Gun manufactures won’t sell to them ?

[Goredho 17349]

Has there ever been a more appropriate thread for this gif?

[TexArcher 37521]

Holy 8-bit moustache, Batman!!

 

[High Plains Drifter 10978]

 

alright then. Cut off federal money to the state, expel their senators and reps from Congress.

[jimmyjazz 45560]

I didn't ever think I'd say this, but in some ways I'm relieved my parents have passed on.  Now I just need to get my sis out of St. Louis.

What an utterly fucked up place.

[Chooky 13302]

If Timothy McVeigh had been able to exercise more delay on appeals he might have had a chance of becoming a Senator. But he definitely would've had a wildly popular podcast. Don't forget to subscribe and smash that like button. Hit up those notifications and check out our Patreon. Use promo code "Go Boom" to get 20% off on a case of Jihad Aloha Juice.

[aggie08 21434]

16 minutes ago, Chooky said:

If Timothy McVeigh had been able to exercise more delay on appeals he might have had a chance of becoming a Senator. But he definitely would've had a wildly popular podcast. Don't forget to subscribe and smash that like button. Hit up those notifications and check out our Patreon. Use promo code "Go Boom" to get 20% off on a case of Jihad Aloha Juice.

Dude, I was literally just thinking this. David Koresh was a hero to some back then, including McVeigh. He would be a mother fucking God today. Social outcast that hates the government, loves guns, fucks children, runs a theocracy that keeps women in their place. So, Supreme Court or President?

[tx 3 putt 76403]

4 minutes ago, aggie08 said:

Dude, I was literally just thinking this. David Koresh was a hero to some back then, including McVeigh. He would be a mother fucking God today. Social outcast that hates the government, loves guns, fucks children, runs a theocracy that keeps women in their place. So, Supreme Court or President?

Trump / Koresh 2024

or

Trump / McVeigh 2024 

[WhatTheBuck 28713]

1 hour ago, Goredho said:

Has there ever been a more appropriate thread for this gif?

 

[Pato del Muerto 52342]

You guys only think koresh is dead because the government told you so. But who allegedly killed him?  The government. Has anyone seen a body?

I submit to you that trump as president found out that Koresh is alive and in federal custody at a dark site. And he will bring him back into the public eye when the time is right, to show how deep the deep state goes, and to help him fix America. 

[Bullneck 18987]

 

 

[SimonBolivar 10932]

9 minutes ago, Bullneck said:

 

 

Jesus Tapdancing Christ we are so fucking screwed.

[TexArcher 37521]

Yep.  This populace is ripe for a charismatic nationalist type -- a better looking and smarter Trump -- our very own Mussolini or Franco.  He'll get statues while he's still alive.

We are sooooo fucked.

Edited April 9, 2023 by TexArcher

[Blotto 23434]

1 hour ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

alright then. Cut off federal money to the state, expel their senators and reps from Congress.

Agreed. Let's start by refusing to provide any federal  disaster relief for the recent tornados that fucked up Missouri. Accepting federal funds is akin to accepting the devil's bargain. Those backward fuckstains can bow their heads and ask Jesus to provide.

[Hornius Emeritus 12420]

1 hour ago, tx 3 putt said:

Trump / Koresh 2024

or

Trump / McVeigh 2024 

You could probably make some serious grifting coin by printing McVeigh/Koresh 2024 T-shirts.

[tx 3 putt 76403]

Missouri couldn’t exist without their govt cheese 

[qwertyu1234 496]

I’ll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missourah.

[Bullneck 18987]

44 minutes ago, TexArcher said:

Yep.  This populace is ripe for a charismatic nationalist type -- a better looking and smarter Trump -- our very own Mussolini or Franco.  He'll get statues while he's still alive.

We are sooooo fucked.

[RDCanecutter 26284]

We were on our second honeymoon bopping around SW Mexico one week when the cartels weren't killing every man woman and child. Half the places we'd go, there was a group from a Missouri bible school (they wore tshirts saying so) who'd end up crossing our path. I wouldn't remember them except they were the most uniformly tall and obese tribe of White People I'd seen, even including times I'd been to Missouri. It was like somebody had placed HO scale people on an N scale train set-up.

"But RD, you live in Birming-Ham-legs!" Yes. and we have our behemoths. But they are usually accompanied by a scattering of slimmer more nimble types, perhaps for tactical reasons, like infantry clearing woods for a Tiger tank. There is no such stunning conformity as those Missourians had.

We never interacted with them, not on purpose, we never had a chance-- they tended to dart past in a line, on missions. We would watch them as if Hippos had charged past in the street.

Finally, Mrs. Canecutter and I are sitting at an airport bar in Guadalajara and I'm drinking tequila with a scrap metal dealer who's flying off to buy some ship, and Missouri rumbles past, lining up for their plane. Again, we gaze in awe at their bigitude. One lad in their line, I guess he recognized me from all the near-misses, lifted a hand, and waved. Like a friend.

And I, piece of shit, waved back.

[Blotto 23434]

18 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

We were on our second honeymoon bopping around SW Mexico one week when the cartels weren't killing every man woman and child. Half the places we'd go, there was a group from a Missouri bible school (they wore tshirts saying so) who'd end up crossing our path. I wouldn't remember them except they were the most uniformly tall and obese tribe of White People I'd seen, even including times I'd been to Missouri. It was like somebody had placed HO scale people on an N scale train set-up.

"But RD, you live in Birming-Ham-legs!" Yes. and we have our behemoths. But they are usually accompanied by a scattering of slimmer more nimble types, perhaps for tactical reasons, like infantry clearing woods for a Tiger tank. There is no such stunning conformity as those Missourians had.

We never interacted with them, not on purpose, we never had a chance-- they tended to dart past in a line, on missions. We would watch them as if Hippos had charged past in the street.

Finally, Mrs. Canecutter and I are sitting at an airport bar in Guadalajara and I'm drinking tequila with a scrap metal dealer who's flying off to buy some ship, and Missouri rumbles past, lining up for their plane. Again, we gaze in awe at their bigitude. One lad in their line, I guess he recognized me from all the near-misses, lifted a hand, and waved. Like a friend.

And I, piece of shit, waved back.

well hello there "bigitude", welcome to my lexicon

[Gatorubet 30117]

I think that every Lib-Tard should own some decent weapons.  Not because we’’re dumb enough to think that we can fight the US military like the gravy seals think. But because you may have to contend with some of your MAGA neighbors with their peculiar thoughts on why it is not treasonous to be treasonous, and that God or Trump (or both) have directed them to inspect the neighborhood for trans people and send them to the camp. 

What used to be unthinkable and crazy is increasingly becoming the norm. While I am not brisket level worried I am pretty damn close.

[WhatTheBuck 28713]

20 minutes ago, Bullneck said:

[Bullneck 18987]

2 hours ago, RDCanecutter said:

We were on our second honeymoon bopping around SW Mexico one week when the cartels weren't killing every man woman and child. Half the places we'd go, there was a group from a Missouri bible school (they wore tshirts saying so) who'd end up crossing our path. I wouldn't remember them except they were the most uniformly tall and obese tribe of White People I'd seen, even including times I'd been to Missouri. It was like somebody had placed HO scale people on an N scale train set-up.

"But RD, you live in Birming-Ham-legs!" Yes. and we have our behemoths. But they are usually accompanied by a scattering of slimmer more nimble types, perhaps for tactical reasons, like infantry clearing woods for a Tiger tank. There is no such stunning conformity as those Missourians had.

We never interacted with them, not on purpose, we never had a chance-- they tended to dart past in a line, on missions. We would watch them as if Hippos had charged past in the street.

Finally, Mrs. Canecutter and I are sitting at an airport bar in Guadalajara and I'm drinking tequila with a scrap metal dealer who's flying off to buy some ship, and Missouri rumbles past, lining up for their plane. Again, we gaze in awe at their bigitude. One lad in their line, I guess he recognized me from all the near-misses, lifted a hand, and waved. Like a friend.

And I, piece of shit, waved back.

What do you do for a living, exactly?

[Gatorubet 30117]

1 hour ago, Bullneck said:

What do you do for a living, exactly?

 Professional Observer of Americana ?

[Bullneck 18987]

36 minutes ago, Gatorubet said:

 Professional Observer of Americana ?

I think one day we're going to find out he's Dan Rather or one of the Coen brothers or something.

[Mo Horn 8807]

If you've never seen this, you should. It takes place in Missouri and not only explains a lot about the state, but the religious right. 

IMDb: : Jesus Camp 
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0486358/

 

[RDCanecutter 26284]

2 hours ago, Bullneck said:

What do you do for a living, exactly?

I draw cartoons.

[Gatorubet 30117]

15 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

I draw cartoons….in permanent ink on the bodies of those displaying bigitude who are leaving Cracker Barrel, at least those who respond physiologically after being hit with an Amazonian toad venom smeared dart from my blowgun. 

Revised for accuracy. 

[RDCanecutter 26284]

1 minute ago, Gatorubet said:

Revised for accuracy. 

Well... like, DUH.

[staboner 4959]

7 hours ago, TexArcher said:

Yep.  This populace is ripe for a charismatic nationalist type -- a better looking and smarter Trump -- our very own Mussolini or Franco.  He'll get statues while he's still alive.

We are sooooo fucked.

yeppers. trump is simply too self serving to be that guy, too dumb, too many, many short sighted things. someone will come around that is a hell of a lot more patient, strategic and cunning. 

toss in an islamic terrorist, trans serial killer, the next pandemic, whatever is bound to eventually happen, and voila you have a wild frenzy of fools in every element of your society. its scary as shit to live around that many triggers. i fucking left for fuck sake. these people scare the shit out of me. posters like @atomheartbevo will chime in to tell us how big a pussy these people really are - and he is right - however, that is precisely the problem. 

[Aqua Buddha 14522]

10 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

alright then. Cut off federal money to the state, expel their senators and reps from Congress.

This is the answer.

Let them secede and deal with ramifications.  Missouri is a fucked up state when you get out of KC and STL.

[SimonBolivar 10932]

2 hours ago, RDCanecutter said:

I draw cartoons.

I can confirm. I have an original RDCanecutter above the John in the guest bathroom.

[NWBuck 8548]

Tragically fascinating that the states Metzl highlights here (Tennessee, Missouri, Kansas) are falling even deeper into self destructive behavior and governance. 

 

[tx 3 putt 76403]

They should leave, and take their 10 electoral votes with them

 

[Zepol87 9172]

7 hours ago, longhornmatt said:

Remember when Missouri left the Big 12 with the intention of going to the Big 10, and the Big Ten was like, “Um, this is awkward. It’s just that we have limited space and we already said yes to Nebraska and [scrolls through list of D1 teams] P, Q, R - Rutgers!  Yes, Rutgers.  Oh, I’m so sorry, but we are going to have to say no. And, listen, we’d appreciate it if you don’t talk to Rutgers about this until we have a chance to call them first to give them a heads up.”

I think that’s how Missouri’s secession would go.  They may think they’re starting a new red state confederacy, but even Mississippi would say, “We really admire your courage to take a stand.  So, listen, I hear El Salvador is looking for an expansion partner.  Great beaches and bitcoin friendly!  Welp, see ya later.”

SEC SEC SEC

[Gatorubet 30117]

1 hour ago, Zepol87 said:

SEC SEC SEC

I look forward to how you will handle this shit when you are. SEC SEC SEC

[atomheartbevo 89450]

48 minutes ago, Gatorubet said:

I look forward to how you will handle this shit when you are. SEC SEC SEC

[Walser 1107]

You fucking guys. My girlfriend looks at me funny this morning while I am cackling at some stupid shit I read here. I have several sites I visit so I don't have to start work. And I enjoy Merlot, sue me.

Never change.

[TheStoicPaisano 9904]

To wit:

 

[Pato del Muerto 52342]

2 minutes ago, TheStoicPaisano said:

To wit:

 

She’s only like 45 cm tall!