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San Antonio Spurs 2023 Offseason - Voodoo Dolls and Ping Pong Balls

Mitch Cumsteen

By Mitch Cumsteen
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Mitch Cumsteen
Mitch Cumsteen
Mitch Cumsteen
Mitch Cumsteen

This franchise is so fucking lucky. It’s one thing to win the lottery three times. It’s entirely another to win it three times and each time there’s a no brainer generational prospect waiting for you.

Kermit
Kermit

Oh, and fuck Kawhi Leonard.

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Mitch Cumsteen

Mitch Cumsteen 18547

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Kinda unusual trade but I like it. Spurs give up four second rounders for an unprotected first round swap with Dallas 6 years from now. They have so many second round picks, it’s worth taking a flyer on I suppose. What the hell else are they going to do with them? Plus they should be able to flip Bullock at the deadline for more picks. Not much downside and potential for something nice down the line. 

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C-Man

C-Man 27202

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Spurs head of security allegedly slapped Britney Spears at Vegas restaurant last night after she approached Victor Wembanyama for a photo.

https://www.tmz.com/2023/07/06/britney-spears-slapped-in-face-victor-wembanyama-spurs-security/

8:22 AM PT -- Law enforcement sources tell TMZ, the man listed on the police report as the one who slapped Britney Spears is Damian Smith, the Director of Team Security for the Spurs. Our sources say it is not being handled as a criminal matter, because cops determined Smith was not trying to hurt Britney but rather defend Victor Wembanyama.
Britney Spears was allegedly assaulted Wednesday night in Vegas, after a member of NBA phenom Victor Wembanyama's security backhanded her in the face, and she has filed a police report.

The incident went down at Catch restaurant in the ARIA Hotel around 8:30 PM. Britney, along with her husband, Sam Asghari, and 2 others went to the restaurant for dinner. She was swarmed by fans as she entered the casino.

Britney and co. walked over to Catch, and as they were entering the restaurant, Britney spotted Victor. We're told she's a fan and went over to him to ask if they could take a photo together. She tapped him on his back, right shoulder and, we're told the Director of Team Security for the San Antonio Spurs -- the team that drafted Victor last month -- instantly backhanded her, causing her to fall to the ground ... knocking her glasses off.

Britney composed herself and went to her table. We're told the security guy came over to the table and apologized. He said, "You understand how it is when you're being swarmed by fans." He apologized and Britney accepted it. BTW, we're told he also said when he slapped her he didn't know who she was.

Britney's security team spent time with Victor's security guy, and afterward her team filed a police report with the Metropolitan Police Dept. alleging battery.

Originally Published -- 7:35 AM PT

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Kermit

Kermit 3156

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Also from TMZ:

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Our law enforcement sources tell us the cops who responded to ARIA reviewed security camera footage showing Smith push Britney's hand away ... and then her hand, not Smith's, struck her face. Cops did not address the velocity of the force of the swing.

So a big nothingburger. I’m sure security for Britney wouldn’t mind some random walking up to and touching her. Sucks for this dude when all the crazy internet fans start stalking his ass. 

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Pam Cummings

Pam Cummings 9639

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3 hours ago, Kermit said:

Also from TMZ:

So a big nothingburger. I’m sure security for Britney wouldn’t mind some random walking up to and touching her. Sucks for this dude when all the crazy internet fans start stalking his ass. 

Yep what a bullshit story. She has the cray.

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Mitch Cumsteen

Mitch Cumsteen 18547

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Hopefully Victor learns his lesson from all of this -- and that lesson is, never leave the house unless you absolutely have to. It worked for Timmy for 20 years, other than sneaking into Teka Molino for a bean cup on a late afternoon every now and then. Victor should take the same approach. And definitely stay the fuck out of Vegas.

Also, I'm really looking forward to his debut tonight. I know it's summer league and obviously meaningless, but his teammates in France were so incompetent that it was difficult to get a true gauge of his overall floor game. There was so much disorganized and bad, discombobulated basketball that it was hard to watch. Not that the Spurs summer league team is going to remind anybody of the 2014 beautiful game, but they at least have enough guys who have been in the system and are decently talented to put some structure around him. People want to talk about how it will be his first time facing NBA-level athletes in a game, but it's also going to be the first time he gets to play with NBA-level athletes. I want to see what he can unlock for other guys who actually have half a clue how to play off of him.

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ztejas

ztejas 43417

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2 minutes ago, kingkoopa6 said:

Clap clap to that hit tho 

Yeah it's almost like he just played 80 NBA games last season and doesn't belong on the floor.

Dude should be working his ass off in the gym. Not dicking around in Vegas against a bunch of nobodies. 

But Houston is apparently being run by a bunch of dipshit monkeys.

Not that I'm upset - I'm here for it.

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ztejas

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I just can't help but be worried in the back of my head about this dude's frame. I'm not sure how he stays healthy.

That said - he will be a top 50 player at worst as soon as he steps on the floor in the NBA. 

I guess let's fucking see what happens.

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