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2018 World Cup

DanTheHorn

By DanTheHorn
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Zepol87
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This morning was awesome. I love this damn thing

Schulz2.0
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strangulation!
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MoJames

MoJames 8241

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Harry Kane has apologised after accidentally swallowing nearly all of the world’s midge population during England’s World Cup opener, immediately rendering them an endangered species.

The England captain, who is unable to close his mouth due to respiratory reasons, admitted he had consumed “at least a whole meal’s worth” of midges during the game, but the full extent of his decimation only became apparent after biologists were allowed to conduct a survey. They found only 2 midges left on the pitch, and one of those was Scottish singer-songwriter Midge Ure.

“It has huge implications for the ecosystem in Russia,” explained one of the researchers. “If there are no midges, the birds will die. If the birds die, the working people will struggle. If the working people start dying, who will Vladimir Putin eat?”

Kane’s teammate Ashley Young has also expressed his concern. “I adhere to a strict 5-a-day rule: 5 bird poos a day keeps the England medical staff at bay. If the birds see a knock-on effect, I’m going home.”

Perhaps more worryingly, Harry Kane put on a total of 17 stone during the match – a metric that will surely have Southgate concerned. “We told the lads to ensure they have a protein-rich diet,” explained the England manager, “but we didn’t mean this. Harry has been warned, and he’s promised to fashion a small net that he’s going to stick over his mouth. He’s a good lad and he’s learnt his lesson.”

More to follow.

Midges on Verge of Extinction After Kane Swallows Over 7 Billion in one Night

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Trey3216

Trey3216 15325

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1 hour ago, GopherRock said:

http://www.espn.com/soccer/blog/the-toe-poke/65/post/3534916/beer-supply-running-low-in-moscow-during-world-cup

 

Beer before liquor...

They were running horrifically low on beer in fucking Germany during the ‘06 Cup.    Budweiser actually shipped over a bunch of stock for the 4th of July holiday over to help the supply stay moist.  

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MoJames

MoJames 8241

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Hah.

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Burger King has apologized for a poor-taste ad campaign posted on its official Russian social media account.

On Tuesday the burger chain announced a promotion on VK, the Russian equivalent of Facebook, offering women 3 million Russian roubles ($47,000) and a lifetime supply of Whoppers if they get impregnated by football players competing in the World Cup.

Shortly after announcing the campaign they pulled it due to backlash. Burger King posted a statement on VK apologizing and said it had removed all materials related to the promotion. However, evidence of the stunt lives on in screenshots. 

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shnsajax

shnsajax 3589

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Hah.
Burger King has apologized for a poor-taste ad campaign posted on its official Russian social media account.
On Tuesday the burger chain announced a promotion on VK, the Russian equivalent of Facebook, offering women 3 million Russian roubles ($47,000) and a lifetime supply of Whoppers if they get impregnated by football players competing in the World Cup.
Shortly after announcing the campaign they pulled it due to backlash. Burger King posted a statement on VK apologizing and said it had removed all materials related to the promotion. However, evidence of the stunt lives on in screenshots. 
Link


If Brazilian or Spanish fathers can they require US citizenship prior to payout?
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MoJames

MoJames 8241

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Putos, how will they afford Putas after this?

$10,000 Fine

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“Puto,” roughly translated as “male prostitute,” is a slur often hurled at gay men in Mexico, but fans who chant it say they use it out of the more generalized meaning of “coward” (or, in the adjective form, simply an unpleasant thing.)

 

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DanTheHorn

DanTheHorn 4893

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So we are getting close to looking at tie breakers:

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Tiebreakers

The top two teams after the round-robin is completed in each group are determined as follows (regulations Article 32.5):[33]

  1. points obtained in all group matches;
  2. goal difference in all group matches;
  3. number of goals scored in all group matches;

If two or more teams are equal on the basis of the above three criteria, their rankings are determined as follows:

  1. points obtained in the group matches between the teams concerned;
  2. goal difference in the group matches between the teams concerned;
  3. number of goals scored in the group matches between the teams concerned;
  4. fair play points
    • first yellow card: minus 1 point;
    • indirect red card (second yellow card): minus 3 points;
    • direct red card: minus 4 points;
    • yellow card and direct red card: minus 5 points;
  5. drawing of lots by the FIFA Organising Committee.

Can some one explain how 5 and 6 would ever come into play since 4 is effectively head to head. If 4 does not apply does that not mean they tied?

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DanTheHorn

DanTheHorn 4893

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“Puto,” roughly translated as “male prostitute,” is a slur often hurled at gay men in Mexico, but fans who chant it say they use it out of the more generalized meaning of “coward” (or, in the adjective form, simply an unpleasant thing.) 

Coward is what I know it is used for because the goalie to to much of a pussy to come playing from the back and is kicking it long. "Ehhhhhhh Puuutoooo" translates to "Yoooouuuuuu Pussssssy" on how it is used. The one thing not explained above is a guy that sleeps with a lot of women. Women will tell each other. "You do not want to date that guy because es bien puto and he ain't going to change".

FIFA has decided it is homophobic, that is what it will be known as in the non-spanish speaking world but it is what it is and classless for a fan base. I could not image the UT fan base scream such a thing on punts by the opponent inside the 45 with less than five yards to go.

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WBT

WBT 20397

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51 minutes ago, DanTheHorn said:

So we are getting close to looking at tie breakers:

Can some one explain how 5 and 6 would ever come into play since 4 is effectively head to head. If 4 does not apply does that not mean they tied?

Three way ties or even four way ties in theory.  You can have a three way tie where all three teams beat the last place team and then all go 1-1 among themselves (ala Texas, Tech, and OU in 2008) or all tie each other.  You could also have a four way tie if all games in a group are tied but I doubt this would ever happened.

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Speedtrucker

Speedtrucker 2063

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Three way ties or even four way ties in theory.  You can have a three way tie where all three teams beat the last place team and then all go 1-1 among themselves (ala Texas, Tech, and OU in 2008) or all tie each other.  You could also have a four way tie if all games in a group are tied but I doubt this would ever happened.

What’s the closest a World Cup Group has ever come to all draws?
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Kringelbert Fishtybuns

Kringelbert Fishtybuns 943

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1 hour ago, Speedtrucker said:


What’s the closest a World Cup Group has ever come to all draws?

First one to come to mind

There was the Group of Death in 94 where all ended up on 4 points and GD of 0.

Mexico, Italy, Ireland, and Norway.

 

After further research, it looks like they have only done it once in 90 to decide between second and third place teams.  Both Ireland and the Netherlands advanced, but the Netherlands did end up against Germany in the next round due to losing the draw.

link

 

Edited by Kringelbert Fishtybuns
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Napoleon

Napoleon 8596

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2 hours ago, gecko said:

How many Argentinian players will be murdered as a result of today's outcome?

 

2 hours ago, MoJames said:

None, but we might see some Colombians killed.


This.

Argentina will be depressed and will quietly mourn the rest of the tournament, but I went to photograph the massive crowd watching the 2010 QF match between ARG & GER in Rosario and Germany scored in the first 5 minutes or so and then played rope-a-dope as ARG scrambled in vain, before Die Mannschaft pulled out a can of whip ass and stomped Argentina 4-0. And that year, there was actually a feeling that Argentina was destined to win it all. 

After the game finished, families poured out of the watching area and wandered through the park across the street. Parents playing with kids, people having a picnic, people riding their bikes. It was really weird. People were kind of depressed, but there was almost a sense of denial that there was still a tournament being played. People just went back to their normal winter lives... which are typically dull.

You only get murdered if you cross the government.

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SpiralOut

SpiralOut 1809

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2 hours ago, Okie State said:

Argentina seem like they suck.

Coach is a moron.

One or two middling guys, a bunch of terribads, and Messi.

If Messi wasn't playing for Argentina they'd have never made the tournament.  And if they did, they'd be run out of it with 0 points.  But they do have Messi, so for some reason that makes people think they're worth a shit.  Turns out soccer is a team game. 

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Napoleon

Napoleon 8596

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26 minutes ago, SpiralOut said:

Coach is a moron.

One or two middling guys, a bunch of terribads, and Messi.

If Messi wasn't playing for Argentina they'd have never made the tournament.  And if they did, they'd be run out of it with 0 points.  But they do have Messi, so for some reason that makes people think they're worth a shit.  Turns out soccer is a team game. 

I think that as soon as Messi is gone, you'll see a TEAM rather than a player who puts his friends in the lineup but then starves for service, because he's double or triple teamed and his teammates are passing the ball around while hoping that the opposition gets bored and stops covering him.

In the 2015 Copa America, Messi didn't play the first game and Argentina beat Chile. When they met again in the Finals, the game ended in a draw and Argentina lost in a shootout.

Sitting around waiting for Messi to do something is not a good game plan. (Different coaches have had to deal with the same thing over the last 8-10 years.)

 

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Captain Ron

Captain Ron 12789

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6 hours ago, SpiralOut said:

Coach is a moron.

One or two middling guys, a bunch of terribads, and Messi.

If Messi wasn't playing for Argentina they'd have never made the tournament.  And if they did, they'd be run out of it with 0 points.  But they do have Messi, so for some reason that makes people think they're worth a shit.  Turns out soccer is a team game. 

Coach is certainly a moron. The guy ran out the same shit defense that he put out there for Iceland. Otamendi is a freaking liability and still run out there.

6 hours ago, Napoleon said:

I think that as soon as Messi is gone, you'll see a TEAM rather than a player who puts his friends in the lineup but then starves for service, because he's double or triple teamed and his teammates are passing the ball around while hoping that the opposition gets bored and stops covering him.

In the 2015 Copa America, Messi didn't play the first game and Argentina beat Chile. When they met again in the Finals, the game ended in a draw and Argentina lost in a shootout.

Sitting around waiting for Messi to do something is not a good game plan. (Different coaches have had to deal with the same thing over the last 8-10 years.)

 

Team of his friends? Word was that players were put on this team against Messi's wishes. I wonder if this team even likes Messi.

You mention Copa America - frankly to me that's an indicator of the team not knowing how to play with Messi. They sure stand around and watch him - but is that Messi or the coach not setting them up to work around him? Given how much of a moron Sampaoli looks like, I'm taking the bad coaching.

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Napoleon

Napoleon 8596

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1 hour ago, Captain Ron said:

Coach is certainly a moron. The guy ran out the same shit defense that he put out there for Iceland. Otamendi is a freaking liability and still run out there.

Team of his friends? Word was that players were put on this team against Messi's wishes. I wonder if this team even likes Messi.

You mention Copa America - frankly to me that's an indicator of the team not knowing how to play with Messi. They sure stand around and watch him - but is that Messi or the coach not setting them up to work around him? Given how much of a moron Sampaoli looks like, I'm taking the bad coaching.

Biglia, Higuain, Di Maria, Aguero, & Mascherano are in Messi's crew. Lanzani (who tore his ACL) & Pavon are two guys he likes and should be on the team.

Icardi may or may not have started fucking Messi's buddy's wife before they split up, but Icardi has always been persona non gratta with Messi in charge. He barely got a call up this spring and when he didn't click immediately, he was jettisoned.

Biglia, Higuain, Di Maria, and probably Mascherano shouldn't be in the 23, much less on the field.

Icardi should be competing with Aguero for the starting #9 spot.


Regarding the Defense: It was drastically different from Game 1 to Game 2, but unfortunately they kept the same GK and they didn't include Fazio either time.

Iceland: http://www.espn.com/soccer/match?gameId=498197    4 - 2 - 3 - 1
Croatia: http://www.espn.com/soccer/match?gameId=498180    3 - 4 - 2 - 1

Some different personnel and different set up.

One article in one of the two main newspapers of Argentina suggests putting Higuain & Dybala up front, because they have played together for Juventus for a couple of years now and they know how to work well together and pulling Messi back into the midfield and play him at the #10 spot, because he's basically invisible on the wing. Of course Armani needs to replace Caballero, but that's been known since the first game, if not long before that.

Sorry to torpedo your theory, but Sampaoli was NOT the Argentina coach when they lost to Chile. He was the coach of Chile when they stifled Messi in 2015 & 2016, so your theory kind of sucks ass. However, he is claiming in the media that it is his fault for not finding a system that highlights Messi's talents... but as I've mentioned, pretty much none of the head coaches since ~2007 have found a system that highlights Messi's talents. He is a system player who rarely excels outside of that system. There are exceptions, but pedestrian play by Messi for the full squad has been the rule rather than the exception. (And he sucks at pressure PKs... and that's not the coach's fault.)

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