Get rich/famous scheme. Kill husband then write children's book on dealing with grief.

[tx ind 7013]

9 minutes ago, Guadaloopy said:

Freakonomics did a podcast on this a while back.  https://freakonomics.com/podcast/the-perfect-crime-2/

Turns out running someone over with your car is the simplest plan with the best odds of avoiding charges.

[956 Worldwide 34810]

1 hour ago, aggie08 said:

Yeah, I'm still unpacking the "Young Single Adults Sunday School Class." With the married minister. I'll let you know when I figure that part out and can move on to the rest of the post.

So, like, are they directly trying to hook people up with each other there? What's the cutoff for "young"? Are you deemed unworthy once your reach 30? Did statsman meet his fiancee in the class and was this allowed to stay on as a success story?

The official line is that people in different life stages have different needs and struggles, and so you’ll have a singles class where you talk about how to live as a single and navigate dating, you’ll have a young parents’ or young married class where you talk about raising kids and all the early challenges in a marriage, you’ll have a class where the middle aged folks work through their crises, you’ll have a old folks’ class where you sequester them and don’t say stuff to make them upset…..all this is going on while the kids at Sunday school. And usually you’ll have a married couple lead the singles, an older married couple teach the younger marrieds, etc. All pretty standard at a big Protestant church. Class isn’t really the right word, it’s more a structured discussion. 

But the young singles group, especially, is unofficially a way to try and get young people in the building sometimes by dangling the prospect of a place where there’s an opportunity to get to know and mingle with other single people in a  non-threatening environment. A lot of people view church as a more likely place to meet someone, especially if you’ve grown up in church. 

[SydneyCarton 48216]

20 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:

I remember two incidents in my childhood where “gun cleaning accident” was the official line around town. 
 

My first grade teacher lost her son and husband, the story was that the father accidentally shot his son while cleaning a gun and then killed himself in a fit of grief.  This rocked the community, the son was a popular football player and the family was beloved. 
 

The second was a youth sports teammate’s dad who also was cleaning his gun and it discharged and killed him.

Several years after both, at a dinner conversation that turned to guns and accidents, my parents quietly explained that the first was a murder/suicide and the second a suicide and that we had all just agreed to let the other story be.

And I kinda get it, but neither of those cases had a potential murder alive. 

Gotta ask, in the first story, was the son gay perhaps? Because other than that, I can't possibly imagine a scenario where a father would murder a kid. Not that I can understand it if my son turns out gay, either, but there's obviously been a long history of pussy ass fathers (and even mothers) in this country who can't handle a gay son. 

[956 Worldwide 34810]

3 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

Gotta ask, in the first story, was the son gay perhaps? Because other than that, I can't possibly imagine a scenario where a father would murder a kid. Not that I can understand it if my son turns out gay, either, but there's obviously been a long history of pussy ass fathers (and even mothers) in this country who can't handle a gay son. 

Not that I’m aware of. The kid was popular, smart, charismatic, and well-liked, but also known for raising a lot of hell all over town and the dad was pretty dour.  Not “jail time trouble,” but enough that there’d have been consequences if he wasn’t the leading rusher on the first team that won three playoff games. This was 1989.  It appeared to have been an argument that started over general hell-raising and escalated. You never know what a family is like behind the doors.

[SydneyCarton 48216]

1 minute ago, 956 Worldwide said:

Not that I’m aware of. The kid was popular, smart, charismatic, and well-liked, but also known for raising a lot of hell all over town and the dad was pretty dour.  Not “jail time trouble,” but enough that there’d have been consequences if he wasn’t the leading rusher on the first team that won three playoff games. This was 1989.  It appeared to have been an argument that started over general hell-raising and escalated. You never know what a family is like behind the doors.

Proud that, right now, ours would probably be described as "boring as fuck." The desire to go to malls, or movie theaters during peak times just gets less and less...can't imagine why.

Going to be nerve wracking when the kiddo hits teenage years, however. 

[956 Worldwide 34810]

6 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

Proud that, right now, ours would probably be described as "boring as fuck." The desire to go to malls, or movie theaters during peak times just gets less and less...can't imagine why.

Going to be nerve wracking when the kiddo hits teenage years, however. 

Yeah, I’ve got one staring down the barrel of tween and an other right behind. 
 

The whole deal made a big impression on me. My neighborhood babysitter had an older brother who was on the football team and good friends with the victim. So when mom left me at her place, a lot of time the brother and other football players would be hanging out and I just IDOLIZED them, they’d usually have what seemed like all the time in the world for a little kid who liked football. So having my teacher disappear in the middle of the year and getting told that it’s because the awesome guy who would play catch with me got shot dead—- that’s wack for a first grader. 
 

I remember getting told by my parents not to worry, that my dad would NEVER have his gun out around me until I was old enough to go hunting with him. 

Edited May 10, 2023 by 956 Worldwide

[Dennis Taylor 18882]

This thread has gone WAY off topic.  I was hoping one of you cretins would have found her OnlyFans vids by now

 

 

[Born to Run 6569]

Yeah, I'm still unpacking the "Young Single Adults Sunday School Class." With the married minister. I'll let you know when I figure that part out and can move on to the rest of the post.
So, like, are they directly trying to hook people up with each other there? What's the cutoff for "young"? Are you deemed unworthy once your reach 30? Did statsman meet his fiancee in the class and was this allowed to stay on as a success story?

After my divorce, I bounced around to a bunch of churches trying to find a good fit. They swarmed my ass, and having my kid every other weekend, meant I got hit with Singles and Divorced Singles "support groups."

I'm not unconvinced that they also sent attractive ladies to sit next to me during service to make introductions.

A filthier human could make serious hay bouncing around churches.

[Born to Run 6569]

I couldnt even get past the Sunday School thing as an adult. 

I personally prefer deep dives of Bible study to Sunday service. History, study of scripture is more interesting and illuminating to me than singing and shit.

That said I rarely make time.

Also I'm extremely skeptical of church folk and have found some real pieces of shit hiding inside the church. Criminals etc that, maybe, turned it around and are just innately lazy, or maybe ran out of grifts to run in the professional world.

[Nivek 16994]

On 5/9/2023 at 2:00 PM, 956 Worldwide said:

Wait, so she’s still available though? We have a “Meet an Inmate” thread. One of you can fix her, I’m sure. 
 

Of course a realtor. 
 

 

 

Maybe we shouldn't let @MaybeACoordinator see this one. 

[Nivek 16994]

12 hours ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

Anytime I hear of a gun killing someone while another person is cleaning it, I call bullshit.  I've cleaned guns countless times and I triple-check every fucking time to make sure it isn't loaded.

The singles minister is either a murderer or regarded. 

Remington has had a bit of a problem with their triggers accidentally discharging.    /PSA off.    

[Sawbonz 27635]

12 hours ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

Anytime I hear of a gun killing someone while another person is cleaning it, I call bullshit.  I've cleaned guns countless times and I triple-check every fucking time to make sure it isn't loaded.

The singles minister is either a murderer or regarded. 

Never taken care of someone allegedly shot by someone cleaning a gun but I’ve taken care of 3 guys in training and early in my career who shot themselves in the hand cleaning pistols. People are dumb

[statsman 5486]

The way he described it- she was lying down on the sofa, napping. He was cleaning the shotgun that her brother had given him. He was unfamiliar with it. He thought he unloaded it. He was in a chair, facing the TV when it slipped in his grip. He caught it as the barrel was facing her head and it fired. 
 
Maybe it was a real accident. Maybe it wasn’t (and using the shotgun her family gave him was the chef’s kiss). 

[aggie08 21560]

2 hours ago, Born to Run said:

A filthier human could make serious hay bouncing around churches.

./Mark Cuban

./Mark Cuban

./Mark Cuban

[fattyflattie 4638]

3 hours ago, Sawbonz said:

Never taken care of someone allegedly shot by someone cleaning a gun but I’ve taken care of 3 guys in training and early in my career who shot themselves in the hand cleaning pistols. People are dumb

I knew a guy (RIP, heart attack) who was a lifelong hunter, firearms instructor, taught CCL and Hunter education, who had an accidental discharge once in their game room (legit 25 year African hunting trophy game room) where he stored their arms.  As you do, it was pointed up, in a safe direction while he was handling (can’t recall if he was getting ready to clean or what). Anyhow, to his credit, dude went and sent a mass email to probably 500+ people detailing the incident, and urging others to stay on top of their safety.  After all these years all I remember is how shitty that must have felt to have to send that out, but, it did what he intended. Anyhow, was a Horn EE and JD, nice guy. 

[Modessit 5607]

The way he described it- she was lying down on the sofa, napping. He was cleaning the shotgun that her brother had given him. He was unfamiliar with it. He thought he unloaded it. He was in a chair, facing the TV when it slipped in his grip. He caught it as the barrel was facing her head and it fired. 
 
Maybe it was a real accident. Maybe it wasn’t (and using the shotgun her family gave him was the chef’s kiss). 

When I was in high school in RR, a girl I was casually friends with was killed by "accidental discharge" while visiting a friend (that I didn't know) at his house. Apparently there were several teenagers there and someone was playing with or holding a gun and it fired and struck her in the head. I never got more details than that at the time.

20+ years later I'm married and my wife (who grew up mostly in Liberty Hill) tells me a story from when she was 7 and living in RR about how her brother had some friends over and was fooling around with a gun and accidentally killed a girl in his bedroom. Yep. Same girl.

Brother never got charged, and still owned guns for years. Cheated on his wife, divorced (with 3 kids), moved to Dallas, became an alcoholic, developed major kidney and liver disease, and died last year. We rarely spoke to him and only saw him twice in the 16 years from when we got married to when he died.

[MAUFRAIS 6642]

Has there ever been more chatter on Chance Mock? That was such a weird deal.

[Sandman 3419]

23 hours ago, SydneyCarton said:

Gotta ask, in the first story, was the son gay perhaps? Because other than that, I can't possibly imagine a scenario where a father would murder a kid. Not that I can understand it if my son turns out gay, either, but there's obviously been a long history of pussy ass fathers (and even mothers) in this country who can't handle a gay son. 

I worked with a guy, didn't know him well and only saw him during shift change (law enforcement). He accidently killed his toddler son. The official word was his gun went off while he was cleaning it, but word soon got around. He was in his room, practicing his "quick draw", when his finger slipped and he fired the gun. The bullet went through the wall and killed his little son. Any time I saw the guy after that he just had the 1000 yard stare. His dad worked there too, he was a supervisor and when I saw him after that, he had a constant look of anguish on his face. 

I was around 25 at the time and childless, so it didn't really hit me as hard as it would if I heard it today.

[SydneyCarton 48216]

4 minutes ago, Sandman said:

I worked with a guy, didn't know him well and only saw him during shift change (law enforcement). He accidently killed his toddler son. The official word was his gun went off while he was cleaning it, but word soon got around. He was in his room, practicing his "quick draw", when his finger slipped and he fired the gun. The bullet went through the wall and killed his little son. Any time I saw the guy after that he just had the 1000 yard stare. His dad worked there too, he was a supervisor and when I saw him after that, he had a constant look of anguish on his face. 

I was around 25 at the time and childless, so it didn't really hit me as hard as it would if I heard it today.

Pretty sure the next bullet fired would have been mine through the back of my mouth. 

[Aqua Buddha 14625]

On 5/10/2023 at 3:24 PM, 956 Worldwide said:

The official line is that people in different life stages have different needs and struggles, and so you’ll have a singles class where you talk about how to live as a single and navigate dating, you’ll have a young parents’ or young married class where you talk about raising kids and all the early challenges in a marriage, you’ll have a class where the middle aged folks work through their crises, you’ll have a old folks’ class where you sequester them and don’t say stuff to make them upset…..all this is going on while the kids at Sunday school. And usually you’ll have a married couple lead the singles, an older married couple teach the younger marrieds, etc. All pretty standard at a big Protestant church. Class isn’t really the right word, it’s more a structured discussion. 

But the young singles group, especially, is unofficially a way to try and get young people in the building sometimes by dangling the prospect of a place where there’s an opportunity to get to know and mingle with other single people in a  non-threatening environment. A lot of people view church as a more likely place to meet someone, especially if you’ve grown up in church. 

You can get so much ass in a singles department at a big church.  Like, a lot of ass.

[Aqua Buddha 14625]

18 hours ago, statsman said:

The way he described it- she was lying down on the sofa, napping. He was cleaning the shotgun that her brother had given him. He was unfamiliar with it. He thought he unloaded it. He was in a chair, facing the TV when it slipped in his grip. He caught it as the barrel was facing her head and it fired. 
 
Maybe it was a real accident. Maybe it wasn’t (and using the shotgun her family gave him was the chef’s kiss). 

That's such a horse shit story I don't even know where to begin.  Had he not been some preacher, he'd be lynched on the town square.

[Dahobbs 17703]

58 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

Pretty sure the next bullet fired would have been mine through the back of my mouth. 

Yeah, I don't see any way I could live with myself after that. 

[gofuckyourself 8387]

21 hours ago, Nivek said:

Maybe we shouldn't let @MaybeACoordinator see this one. 

https://www.surlyhorns.com/board/topic/25882-maybeacoordinator-is-terminal-official-farewell-thread/?do=getNewComment

 

[Gatorubet 30324]

22 hours ago, Nivek said:

Maybe we shouldn't let @MaybeACoordinator see this one. 

[Brothahorn 10087]

On 5/9/2023 at 10:57 AM, Parliament said:

She might be crazy.

MAC would have loved this one.

 

RIP, Pimp

 

[Brothahorn 10087]

3 hours ago, Aqua Buddha said:

You can get so much ass in a singles department at a big church.  Like, a lot of ass.

Jesus loves whores. And his followers appreciate his taste.

Edited May 11, 2023 by Brothahorn

[Texzilla58 4745]

I was under the impression that even accidentally blowing your wife's head off with a shotgun was still a crime.
Did the preacher get zero charges, whatsoever?

I used to manage a distributor that had several thousand satellite TV installers as contractors. One of them evidently would use his wife as a helper. So he had her help line up where to drill through a wall. This time he decided to not use a drill but his .44 magnum. I think he went to prison.

[Trey3216 15378]

On 5/10/2023 at 7:25 PM, Born to Run said:

I personally prefer deep dives of Bible study to Sunday service. History, study of scripture is more interesting and illuminating to me than singing and shit.

That said I rarely make time.

Also I'm extremely skeptical of church folk and have found some real pieces of shit hiding inside the church. Criminals etc that, maybe, turned it around and are just innately lazy, or maybe ran out of grifts to run in the professional world.

Yep.  I too, enjoy the deep dives and philosophical discussions in "Sunday School" as an adult much more than the main service.  It helps to be in a good group of people that can have those deep discussions, especially with differing opinions.  COVID kind of killed our group. Many of them went to different churches closer to their homes, we had 2 kids, so have missed that the past few years.  

[Herbie Hancock 7376]

When I was in high school in RR, a girl I was casually friends with was killed by "accidental discharge" while visiting a friend (that I didn't know) at his house. Apparently there were several teenagers there and someone was playing with or holding a gun and it fired and struck her in the head. I never got more details than that at the time.

20+ years later I'm married and my wife (who grew up mostly in Liberty Hill) tells me a story from when she was 7 and living in RR about how her brother had some friends over and was fooling around with a gun and accidentally killed a girl in his bedroom. Yep. Same girl.

Brother never got charged, and still owned guns for years. Cheated on his wife, divorced (with 3 kids), moved to Dallas, became an alcoholic, developed major kidney and liver disease, and died last year. We rarely spoke to him and only saw him twice in the 16 years from when we got married to when he died.

This reminds me of a girl I went to middle school with. We were in 7th grade and her brother was in 6th. On a Friday night he was marching around the house with his pellet gun being a little turd, pointing it at people and whatnot. He pointed it at his sister and it discharged. She was a petite girl, no fat or muscle, and it went clean through the intercostal space and dissected her aorta. She bled out before the ambulance got there.

He disappeared for a while, went to some facility to get help and counseling. I am certain he had one DWI before he graduated high school, amongst other substance related legal issues. Never lashed out at others or was violent to anyone, but he was hellbent on self destruction. Last I checked he was sent away a couple years ago for his 4th DWI. I don't like to make excuses for people that drink and drive, but I can't imagine what has gone on in his head since that awful night.

[Dennis Taylor 18882]

On 5/11/2023 at 7:05 AM, Modessit said:

When I was in high school in RR, a girl I was casually friends with was killed by "accidental discharge" while visiting a friend (that I didn't know) at his house. Apparently there were several teenagers there and someone was playing with or holding a gun and it fired and struck her in the head. I never got more details than that at the time.

20+ years later I'm married and my wife (who grew up mostly in Liberty Hill) tells me a story from when she was 7 and living in RR about how her brother had some friends over and was fooling around with a gun and accidentally killed a girl in his bedroom. Yep. Same girl.

Brother never got charged, and still owned guns for years. Cheated on his wife, divorced (with 3 kids), moved to Dallas, became an alcoholic, developed major kidney and liver disease, and died last year. We rarely spoke to him and only saw him twice in the 16 years from when we got married to when he died.

I like how you cleverly weave in the hunblebrag that your wife is about 10 years younger than you 

[Lhorn 4971]

On 5/9/2023 at 7:58 PM, statsman said:

In the early ‘90s, I was in a Young Single Adults Sunday School Class. The Sungle Adults minister was married, with a young child. His wife was pregnant. One Sunday night, I was at my fiancée’s apartment and we got a call. The wife was dead. Her husband, the minister, was cleaning a shotgun in the living room while watching TV. She was asleep on the couch. He thought the gun wasn’t loaded. It was, and went off, and hit her in the head. 
 
The local police suspected it was murder. If it was, it was the perfect crime- “I shot her, with this gun, on accident, and I am so sorry”. they had nothing to charge him with. 
 
There was a huge memorial service, and she was buried a hundred miles away in her family’s plot in a part of a cemetery. Within a year he was remarried to a girl who was in the single adult ministry. His ministerial career stalled out; he just couldn’t shake the whispers. 
 
He put his pastoral skills to work as a speaker and salesman. I check on him occasionally by googling- about twenty years ago he actually did write a book about dealing with grief. 

The moral of your story is “good things happen to good people?”

[HenryJames 66191]

 

[chainsaw 9878]

On 5/9/2023 at 2:50 PM, 956 Worldwide said:

Especially since they’re Mormon.

never leave your rice krispies treats unattended at the club

[Homercles 10206]

1 hour ago, HenryJames said:

 

Was reading an article this morning about it. Her defense attorneys are doing what y’all do, and saying there was no evidence of fentanyl in the house or that she actually executed those things she was searching for.  

I mean…I get it, that’s what they’re paid to do.  But damn, is that evidence admissible?  Because it sure seems to fit the mold 

[Pig Bellmont 8742]

2 hours ago, HenryJames said:

 

“FBI analysis of electronics” and “how to permanently delete information on iPhone remotely” are a pretty big tip off there’s proof of guilt on her phone 

[JBJ 3668]

On 5/10/2023 at 7:33 AM, statsman said:

Watching Dateline, I have learned that you really need to be careful who you marry- that is the person most likely to kill you!

Actually, you are 7x more likely to be killed by yourself. 

 

....But not if you get him first.

[crash_davis 23115]

CSB: I spent last week around Kamas, Jordanelle Reservoir, Midway and that area of Utah. Absolutely beautiful area. Many hot young Mormon milfs walking around with their gaggle of kids. You see a hot late 20s woman and think, Damn! Then you see her 5 kids and think, Damn!

 

 

Edited June 14, 2023 by crash_davis