Bullies making fun of my kids

[Fluoxetine HCl 28]

My husband and I made a conscious, rational decision to homeschool our boys. However, I took a new job at the beginning of the school year that I couldn’t pass up, and we’ve put them in public school. My boys have typically been a great students, but ever since they’ve been in public school, their grades haven’t been up to par. Hubs and I have met with administrators and counselors, pretty much monthly, and I guess they weren’t telling us the full story until now. Apparently they are both being bullied by multiple other children. The admins didn’t know why, or wouldn’t say, but after some prodding we were able to find out that the other kids are constantly teasing them about things they can’t control—most notably making fun of their names. The admins say they can choose to go by middles, or nicknames, but it doesn’t seem fair for my kids to have to adapt like this when it’s the others causing the problem. How should we approach this?

[Herbie Hancock 7347]

Take more Prozac

[Gene Parmesan 4007]

Did you name them Sue?

[Leeroy Jenkins 2404]

How old are they and what school system?

[Fluoxetine HCl 28]

They are 10 and 8. This is near Dallas.

[Fluoxetine HCl 28]

4 minutes ago, Gene Parmesan said:

Did you name them Sue?

No they are old family names, they’re pretty well known names, so not Aysheliegh or Brindley or DeAndreus or something.

[Leeroy Jenkins 2404]

Couple of things.

Teach them to fight.  That will build their confidence and could come in handy.  

Teach them how fight with words.  They may need step 1 in place before using this method but you can shut bullies up by making them look stupid.   

Ask the school why the fuck they are not doing something about this?  

WTF did you name them?

[mdmost 43001]

Obviously, it sucks when your children are the target of mean kids. That said, what exactly do you want the school to do? Kids are mean and tease each other. It sucks but it's a fact of life. At some point in your child's life, they will have to endure someone shitty who is mean to them or makes fun of them. The best thing you can do is teach them to not let it affect them and to grow a thicker skin. It's not easy but when you allow someone to know they are getting to you, it will persist or get worse. Or do what Leeroy said. Perhaps your kids need some help with confidence since you saddled them with names that people are going to make fun of. Or give it back to the mean kids with their own form of humor. Humor is a great way to defuse dumb situations like this. Teach them the subtle art of sarcasm. 

Edited May 11, 2023 by mdmost

[tx 3 putt 76958]

9 minutes ago, Fluoxetine HCl said:

They are 10 and 8. This is near Dallas.

hit the school and isd with the fist of god until they do something 

 

recently, a female middle school student (I know her dad), a kid made a very rude and bullying comment online. The parents went to the school and they dropped the hammer on the kid. He was removed from the same classes. Him and his parents were told, if he does it again he’s removed from the school. The bully was from a ‘good’ and well off family, his parents took it seriously so that helps 

best luck to you 

 

[ztejas 43448]

9 minutes ago, Leeroy Jenkins said:

WTF did you name them?

Jzanthipus.

[Bevo 13577]

Top five guesses:

1. Molly

2. Crystal

3. Zetia

4. Addyi

5. Levitra

[Gene Parmesan 4007]

Not knowing what their names are, I don't think going by a middle or nickname is unreasonable.  If it's a specific kid, maybe request that they change classes?

[ztejas 43448]

4 minutes ago, Bevo said:

Top five guesses:

1. Molly

2. Crystal

3. Zetia

4. Addyi

5. Levitra

Fucking l o l. Just lost my composure at work reading this. 

[UTPhil2006 3807]

It’s almost summer. Suck it up for a few weeks. Next year either have them go by middle names or bulk up and beat the biggest kids ass day 1

[Chewbacca 7779]

21 minutes ago, Leeroy Jenkins said:

Ask the school why the fuck they are not doing something about this?  

For all their talk about zero tolerance, schools do not do jack shit when kids are being bullied.  They will jump into action if the bullied kid fights back, though.  It's completely fucked up.

[Post Oak 20213]

Theres only one way to handle this.

 

[Fluoxetine HCl 28]

I

19 minutes ago, mdmost said:

Obviously, it sucks when your children are the target of mean kids. That said, what exactly do you want the school to do? Kids are mean and tease each other. It sucks but it's a fact of life. At some point in your child's life, they will have to endure someone shitty who is mean to them or makes fun of them. The best thing you can do is teach them to not let it affect them and to grow a thicker skin. It's not easy but when you allow someone to know they are getting to you, it will persist or get worse. Or do what Leeroy said. Perhaps your kids need some help with confidence since you saddled them with names that people are going to make fun of. Or give it back to the mean kids with their own form of humor. Humor is a great way to defuse dumb situations like this. Teach them the subtle art of sarcasm. 

This is good advice, but they also say they are being ganged up on. As for using sarcasm as a weapon, that would maybe work, but it’s easier to ask them to do than it is for them to accomplish. Heinrich is older, and can probably handle that (after some practice) but Adolf is very sensitive.

[Chewbacca 7779]

1 minute ago, Fluoxetine HCl said:

I

This is good advice, but they also say they are being ganged up on. As for using sarcasm as a weapon, that would maybe work, but it’s easier to ask them to do than it is for them to accomplish. Heinrich is older, and can probably handle that (after some practice) but Adolf is very sensitive.

I would have gone with Mao and Pol Pot, personally.  

[Leeroy Jenkins 2404]

1 minute ago, Chewbacca said:

For all their talk about zero tolerance, schools do not do jack shit when kids are being bullied.  They will jump into action if the bullied kid fights back, though.  It's completely fucked up.

I may not be the best role model.  My daughter has Autism but you were never know now.   She is going to graduate from UT next year a year early.  In 4th grade this other girl kept bullying my daughter and she was also bullyng other kids in the class.  My daughter wasn't strong willed at the time and it really effected her.  She couldn't even understand what it was to be mean.  The other girl's mom worked for the school district and was a bitch about the entire thing.  The school "tried" to help but not really and they seemed to be afraid of her. 

After a meeting at the school I may or may not have threatened to slap the shit out of the mom and beat the shit out of the dad of the other girl (in the parking lot when no one else was around) if they didn't do something about their little shit head.  Magically things changed and the other parents would flee in my presence.     

[Deej 76791]

Maybe hire a guy?

 

 

[Samson's Wig 3192]

It sucks, given how completely fucked up school policies are regarding situations like this, but the old-school ways are sometimes still the best ones.  Teach your boys how to break someone's nose.  If they are slight of frame or just can't throw a punch, they're likely carrying around steel water bottles which will do the trick just as nicely.  One time is all it will take, and no one will fuck with them again.  Should be the oldest boy and then make sure word is spread that if anyone fucks with his brother, they'll get the same treatment.   It's not pretty, it's not progressive, and it will come with consequences.  But those consequence might be worth it depending on how badly this is fucking up your kids' mental health.

[Leeroy Jenkins 2404]

2 minutes ago, Fluoxetine HCl said:

I

This is good advice, but they also say they are being ganged up on. As for using sarcasm as a weapon, that would maybe work, but it’s easier to ask them to do than it is for them to accomplish. Heinrich is older, and can probably handle that (after some practice) but Adolf is very sensitive.

Fucking hitby

[mdmost 43001]

6 minutes ago, Fluoxetine HCl said:

I

This is good advice, but they also say they are being ganged up on. As for using sarcasm as a weapon, that would maybe work, but it’s easier to ask them to do than it is for them to accomplish. Heinrich is older, and can probably handle that (after some practice) but Adolf is very sensitive.

hitby, I'm going to kick your ass the next time I see you at Texas OU. 

[Chewbacca 7779]

5 minutes ago, Leeroy Jenkins said:

I may not be the best role model.  My daughter has Autism but you were never know now.   She is going to graduate from UT next year a year early.  In 4th grade this other girl kept bullying my daughter and she was also bullyng other kids in the class.  My daughter wasn't strong willed at the time and it really effected her.  She couldn't even understand what it was to be mean.  The other girl's mom worked for the school district and was a bitch about the entire thing.  The school "tried" to help but not really and they seemed to be afraid of her. 

After a meeting at the school I may or may not have threatened to slap the shit out of the mom and beat the shit out of the dad of the other girl (in the parking lot when no one else was around) if they didn't do something about their little shit head.  Magically things changed and the other parents would flee in my presence.     

As a fellow parent of a high functioning autistic kid, good on you.  

[HouTex 1867]

There’s an old Brady Bunch episode on this.  Apparently, fighting back works.

Seriously, this sucks.  Don’t let the school off the hook.  They have to provide a safe environment for all students.   

[Samson's Wig 3192]

19 minutes ago, Leeroy Jenkins said:

I may not be the best role model.  My daughter has Autism but you were never know now.   She is going to graduate from UT next year a year early.  In 4th grade this other girl kept bullying my daughter and she was also bullyng other kids in the class.  My daughter wasn't strong willed at the time and it really effected her.  She couldn't even understand what it was to be mean.  The other girl's mom worked for the school district and was a bitch about the entire thing.  The school "tried" to help but not really and they seemed to be afraid of her. 

After a meeting at the school I may or may not have threatened to slap the shit out of the mom and beat the shit out of the dad of the other girl (in the parking lot when no one else was around) if they didn't do something about their little shit head.  Magically things changed and the other parents would flee in my presence.     

 

13 minutes ago, Chewbacca said:

As a fellow parent of a high functioning autistic kid, good on you.  

Same here, and agreed.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

Can't they just take guns to school like everyone else?

[rage-a-holic 4398]

Please don't use the word "Hubs" ever again on this site unless you are referring to parts of a wheel.

[Doc Daneeka 6769]

I guess “sticks and stones…” has been memory holed now?

[Longhornfan1024 1707]

1 hour ago, Fluoxetine HCl said:

I

This is good advice, but they also say they are being ganged up on. As for using sarcasm as a weapon, that would maybe work, but it’s easier to ask them to do than it is for them to accomplish. Heinrich is older, and can probably handle that (after some practice) but Adolf is very sensitive.

This is a better payoff than expected.  +rep to you.  

[Deej 76791]

[dcbc 14484]

2 hours ago, Deej said:

Maybe hire a guy?

 

 

Go for the nose.

[Superhero 8830]

Fucking hitby. Got me going until the Heinrich and Adolf part.

 

My school district is quick to kick kids out of school. There was a 4th grader who was having a bad day, kicked a ball at other kids' butts, faces, etc.

He was suspended and gone by the following Monday. Apparently he had been fairly well behaved until that one afternoon.

[HamsterHookah 112]

3 hours ago, Samson's Wig said:

It sucks, given how completely fucked up school policies are regarding situations like this, but the old-school ways are sometimes still the best ones.  Teach your boys how to break someone's nose.  If they are slight of frame or just can't throw a punch, they're likely carrying around steel water bottles which will do the trick just as nicely.  One time is all it will take, and no one will fuck with them again.  Should be the oldest boy and then make sure word is spread that if anyone fucks with his brother, they'll get the same treatment.   It's not pretty, it's not progressive, and it will come with consequences.  But those consequence might be worth it depending on how badly this is fucking up your kids' mental health.

This is really bad advice. Trying to break a nose and assaulting a kid with a metal water bottle for saying mean things will probably result in the kid "defending" himself to be in very big trouble.

Nevermind, looks like you were joking and the OP was joking.

Edited May 11, 2023 by HamsterHookah

[beer 3220]

The children know exactly who is the ring-leader, and who is wholeheartedly participating.  Go to principal and counselor and name names in writing.  Let them know you are serious.  Then when something boils over and someone throws a punch your prior involvement is noted in case there is some zero tolerance fuckery in place. 

[HornOnTheBayou 8922]

I understand this situation all too well. My boys, Mug and Seven, were teased mercilessly when they were younger. 

Edited May 12, 2023 by HornOnTheBayou

[Post Oak 20213]

1 minute ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

I understand this situation all too well. My boys, Mug and Seven, were teased mercilessly when they were younger. 

My man

[Pato del Muerto 52498]

Mulva?

[Handcruser 2805]

My grandma was named Ura Dean.

Want to know why I didn’t name my daughter that? So she wouldn’t be embarrassed and bullied for having a weird name.

My dad use to say “ura dean, im a dean, everybody’s a dean” lolz

[Helobious 9454]

Thought this thread was going to be about OPs kids getting beat up everyday. You want kids suspended over some name-calling and teasing? 

[gsoda3 3261]

does your school not immediately go to mediated dispute resolution after the second time it happens?  it involves calling all student parties involved into a room and discussing what happened along with consequences.  i would (and have) also told my kids that when this happens and they decide to fight to not stop fighting until the other party can't fight back. 

[fattyflattie 4639]

Never ceases to amaze how many of y’all start reading a thread, then skip right to the bottom to post.  

[beer 3220]

Personally I think CNN was wrong. 

[We’reTexas 1473]

[Bevo&Pevo 5146]

Children have to learn how to deal with adversity.  Life is full of issues, shitheads and other.  We all overcome problems every day.  There was a kid who was picking on our oldest during high school.  Eventually Dalton got fed up and clocked this MF.  Game over.  Punk had to learn how to deal with the fact he got his ass kicked in front of his posse.  Dalton had to learn how to accept that suddenly he was more popular.  If nothing else, teach 'em to stick their finger/thumb in the bully's eye.  They'll stop.

[Baboontyme 2812]

You should look into getting them some used deodorant.

[closetohumping 17442]

Sounds like oranjello and limonjello need to learn Krav Maga 

[52-80 19158]

art school students usually arent mean

[Texzilla58 4735]

Maybe if parents would quit inflicting ridiculous names on their children some of this shit might be avoided, although schools have always been nests of bullying.

In my dads family, the first son of the first son going back several generations is named George. A decent adult name, but a horrible child’s name as far as drawing ridicule. Every one of them went by their middle name. My mom said “it’s tradition!” I said some traditions can just stop.

Goofball names are a terrible burden on kids. Sorry your kids are getting harassed but they now have to deal with being called names because you and your wife wanted validation of your cleverness. Same with stupid unique spellings of common names. We go to various school events for the grandkids and the kids named crap like Hortensia, Percival, Tsar, and Loomis appear to have issues.

If the extent of this is name calling teach your kids to suck it up or come up with their own rebukes. A little Don Rickles can help. But if there’s no physical issues the school needs to be aware but do we really need to go to the school board? My smallish son got suspended in 6th grade for fighting. Wife told me to handle it. My son was in principal’s office and another kid twice my son’s size, was on the other side. That kid looked like he’d been in a car wreck. Principal said my son defended him myself and beat the shit out of the other kid; he said it was a Ralphie - Scott Farkus situation. District policy require both be suspended but he said it would never make it into my son’s file. They became good friends after that.

[Francisco 2.0 32393]

Kids can be fucking assholes. And the school district sucks ass if their only solution is to use their middle names.  Also, I suspect coming from a homeschool (how long were they homeschooled?) background into a public school in mid-year was going to be rough, socially wise, to your kids.    It shouldn't be, but it is.  

 

2 hours ago, Bevo&Pevo said:

Children have to learn how to deal with adversity.  Life is full of issues, shitheads and other.  We all overcome problems every day.  There was a kid who was picking on our oldest during high school.  Eventually Dalton got fed up and clocked this MF.  Game over.  Punk had to learn how to deal with the fact he got his ass kicked in front of his posse.  Dalton had to learn how to accept that suddenly he was more popular.  If nothing else, teach 'em to stick their finger/thumb in the bully's eye.  They'll stop.

 

Dalton, you say?

 

Edited May 12, 2023 by Francisco 2.0