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How do use a bidet?

Both Tacos

By Both Tacos
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Anastasis

Anastasis 23473

Posted
Posted
31 minutes ago, futureman said:

psyllium husk, baby.  metamucil is the most underrated supplement available in the world.  big healthy shits and wipe clean, truly a life changer. 

For real. A few scoops of fiber and you will have the most glorious shits ever. 

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SurlyORama

SurlyORama 164

Posted
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9 hours ago, Hate said:

Wait...that things sprays down. How are you supposed to contort your body so that you can get the spray onto your bunghole?

Yeah, when I go to hotels with these, I am lost. My little “attach to toilet seat” model at home SEEMS superior, but I am assuming I’m just an idiot and can’t figure out how to use. 

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Jhawk

Jhawk 1075

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Let’s talk about the added bonus of having a bidet. You get so used to a little wet pressure on your asshole and you are so confident in how clean it is that you have ZERO issue in asking to have your salet tossed. Believe me friends, ask and you shall receive. 

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TKthunder2

TKthunder2 4992

Posted
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4 hours ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

Living in the northland, tap water can be damn near ice cold during the winter. Is there a converter kit for a toilet-mounted bidet that heats the water? I don’t see how that would work. Batteries instead of electrical cords? 

Either need a GFCI outlet near the toilet or there are some models that can take warm water but you’d obviously need that plumbed.  Never seen a battery powered one.

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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 21074

Posted
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5 hours ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

Living in the northland, tap water can be damn near ice cold during the winter. Is there a converter kit for a toilet-mounted bidet that heats the water? I don’t see how that would work. Batteries instead of electrical cords? 

Unless you have an especially temperature-sensitive anus, this is probably less of a concern than you may expect. 

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Sam Lin

Sam Lin 3559

Posted
Posted
On 3/17/2020 at 2:50 AM, TKthunder2 said:

Either need a GFCI outlet near the toilet or there are some models that can take warm water but you’d obviously need that plumbed.  Never seen a battery powered one.

The fancier Japanese bidet seats have electric heaters built in, you can set the water temp regardless of incoming water temp (unless incoming is hotter than your set point - I haven't seen one with a chiller built in, yet). You won't find a battery powered one, electric heat takes a ton of power, batteries would be dead in your first use.

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futureman

futureman 22468

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, Jhawk said:

Just installed a new bidet and got a call to go get my ass ate. The world works in mysterious ways. 

having your girl eat your ass is a hell of a thing, but bidet or no bidet you should soap your starfish in the shower before letting her do that. 

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Jhawk

Jhawk 1075

Posted
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12 hours ago, futureman said:

having your girl eat your ass is a hell of a thing, but bidet or no bidet you should soap your starfish in the shower before letting her do that. 

I want to make one thing clear. I will never let my girl eat an unwashed ass... I also want to make it clear that I will never call this girl my girl. 

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Chopper

Chopper 17236

Posted
Posted
On 6/28/2018 at 5:22 PM, Rimbo said:

(Not joking. There actually is a setting to give you an enema. Also somewhat useful for constipation...)

What brand is this?

 

On 6/29/2018 at 12:12 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

Cleaning up high-test mudbutt can take hours. 

This was my experience after using a top of the line toto for month of Feb while on vacation. Left mud a few times. Wrapping finger in a wet wipe and going to the first knuckle was much more effective for cleanliness although probably not as enjoyable as the hot water spray. My virgin asshole may be unusually tight though.

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dcbc

dcbc 14487

Posted
Posted (edited)

Got a Luxe analog one wand butthole cleaner.  I love it.  It's a real eye opener. ;)

In all seriousness, there is little difference between the so-called "low" setting and the wide open paint peeling setting.  Still beats the shit out of . . . well, me arse. 

Edited by dcbc
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Grimas

Grimas 669

Posted
Posted
On 4/8/2020 at 7:00 PM, dcbc said:

Got a Luxe analog one wand butthole cleaner.  I love it.  It's a real eye opener. ;)

In all seriousness, there is little difference between the so-called "low" setting and the wide open paint peeling setting.  Still beats the shit out of . . . well, me arse. 

Put in a valve between the bidet and the shutoff valve on the wall.  You can then regulate the amount of water coming out of the wand...

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burntorangebongos

burntorangebongos 10719

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 3/16/2020 at 9:53 AM, ImissWallyPryor said:

Living in the northland, tap water can be damn near ice cold during the winter. Is there a converter kit for a toilet-mounted bidet that heats the water? I don’t see how that would work. Batteries instead of electrical cords? 

Actually, if your toilet is near enough to the hot water, like next to the sink, you can run the line to that and use a converter. One of the Luxe models is to be used with hot water. 

I noticed the prices went up last time I looked quite a bit. Mine is the Lux 180 and I bought when it was 39.99, and got $10 off on sale, so $29.99. Now I think the prices is like $50 now.

Edited by burntorangebongos
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Jhawk

Jhawk 1075

Posted
Posted
On 3/13/2020 at 2:32 PM, futureman said:

if you’re gonna spring for one don’t get the ones that mount to your shitter with the little bitch stream.  you want the commando 450. 
bidet_shutterstock_245198674.jpg

I don't get how this works.  My ass points straight down.  I'd have to bend over forward and back up to this and almost touch the nozzle to get it to hit my shittles.  I like a bidet that blasts me from under the equator.

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