American "Passport Bro" culture (because they can't get significant others here in America)

[Wulaw Horn 19069]

17 minutes ago, Chad Fuck said:

Man I was really hoping this would turn into pics of hot mail order brides.

Oh well, back go sub memes.

Strong correlation between post and username. 

[Chad Fuck 17675]

30 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

Strong correlation between post and username. 

You, sir, have been paying attention. 

[Celery Man 20943]

even chad fuck eventually got it together

 

[G650 14254]

Deceased

[Chad Fuck 17675]

2 minutes ago, Celery Man said:

even chad fuck eventually got it together

 

And now you know,...the rest of the story. 

[sidis 9827]

when you guys talk about 6 inch penises, you mean flaccid, right?  because if you guys mean erect, i think i now know why my way too good looking for me wife married me.

fuck, now i'm on wulaw's dong database.

[closetohumping 17440]

Any 5/3/4 guys here?  Definitely not me, but please show yourself so that I can mock you.

[Da Fino 2781]

17 minutes ago, sidis said:

when you guys talk about 6 inch penises, you mean flaccid, right? 

Yes...circumference.

[sidis 9827]

Just now, Da Fino said:

Yes...circumference.

wait, not diameter?

[MissingInAction 25065]

A good friend of mine has a serious complex about his height. Of all his great qualities that's his one big flaw.

For example when our Uber arrives for a night of boozing he will tell me I shouldn't get to ride up front just cause I'm tall. I laugh and tell him it's a matter of geometry not status... wee man.

I can't fit into the back of a Honda fit.

[Post Oak 20213]

13 hours ago, Reynolds Woodcock said:

These last few Wulaw posts have really driven home the old adage: there is no confidence like the confidence of a mediocre white man. 

 

[Pescado_Rojo 19416]

1 hour ago, sidis said:

when you guys talk about 6 inch penises, you mean flaccid, right?  because if you guys mean erect, i think i now know why my way too good looking for me wife married me.

fuck, now i'm on wulaw's dong database.

I measure from the taint. 

[Wulaw Horn 19069]

21 minutes ago, Post Oak said:

 

This is my point about what's so stupid about the internet. There are probably very very very few truly mediocre people on here. Even Helo- who we all mock and ridicule- I can pretty much guarantee is smarter than the average guy on the street.  Midtown got pointed out as some manner of incel when he's got an ex wife- kids- and he doesn't want for companionship at all.  And pretty good looking women to boot.

The idea of calling me mediocre is absurd.  Nobody in my entire life (and I've had many people that don't like me and would probably say all sorts of nasty things about me) would describe me as mediocre in any way.  I mean- if you are talking about singing, dancing, playing hoops or satisfying your mother sexually I would love to be mediocre.  That would be aspirational.  But I'm top 1% in my professional field, have been that in 3 different fields in my working career, was valedictorian and national merit scholar and graduated from UT in 3 years.  Mediocre at typing on my Iphone?  Sure. Guilty perhaps.  The kind of mediocre where it would be impossible for me to find a match?  Not hardly.  But here we are, looking for reasons to disagree with someone else online and make them feel stupid or small or whatever so that that person can feel better about themselves.  

I'm not going to change the internet- I know that. I'm probably wasting my time even typing this but if one person thinks about it and has a different perspective then this 5 minutes won't have been a waste.  

 

[G650 14254]

3 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

Even Helo- who we all mock and ridicule- I can pretty much guarantee is smarter than the average guy on the street.

 

I actually have stated that Helobious is the worlds greatest troll. However, if I am incorrect and he is in fact genuine, he would be the dumbest person anyone here has ever interacted with.

 

3 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

Midtown got pointed out as some manner of incel when he's got an ex wife- kids- and he doesn't want for companionship at all.  And pretty good looking women to boot.

 

Did anyone actually call him an incel? I don't recall but I didn't read every post that closely.

 

4 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

I'm not going to change the internet- I know that. I'm probably wasting my time even typing this but if one person thinks about it and has a different perspective then this 5 minutes won't have been a waste.  

 

Man, this is such an overdramatic bit of nonsense. Life is a lot more prosaic than this grandiose ramblings.

[Eastwood 4394]

The “Surly exceptionalism” theory is a new one for me. An unbiased party reading this site probably thinks we all type by slamming our heads on the keyboard. 

[Wulaw Horn 19069]

11 minutes ago, G650 said:

 

I actually have stated that Helobious is the worlds greatest troll. However, if I am incorrect and he is in fact genuine, he would be the dumbest person anyone here has ever interacted with.

 

 

Did anyone actually call him an incel? I don't recall but I didn't read every post that closely.

 

 

Man, this is such an overdramatic bit of nonsense. Life is a lot more prosaic than this grandiose ramblings.

As to Helo- I can promise you he's not as stupid as you make him out to be (and he's a genuine guy).  Do you know what average looks like?  Because I do- I taught average regular level 10th graders for 2 years in high school. I can promise you that Helo would be at the top of any of those classes.  By far.  And I posited that he's the dumbest person on this site in all likelihood but he's not real life dumb.

As to Midtown- yes- he was accused of that by more than one person.

As to overdramatic bit of nonsense?  Cool.  That's your opinion.  I've read things on here that have caused my to shift my perspective or think about an issue a little differently in the past and occasionally I will post something that I hope might nudge someone else to think about things in life in a little bit different manner.  That was my intention with that post- there is nothing grandiose about it.  It was literally the idea that I might plant one seed that might make one person think a little bit differently about something. I think that's about as opposite of grandiose as possible but your mileage obviously varies.  

[G650 14254]

Wow.

[Wulaw Horn 19069]

14 minutes ago, Eastwood said:

The “Surly exceptionalism” theory is a new one for me. An unbiased party reading this site probably thinks we all type by slamming our heads on the keyboard. 

No way. You can post a question or thought about anything in the world and usually within 15 minutes you have input on that from someone who has either been there, done that, knows how to do that, can tell you how to do that, or point you in the right direction, or someone who is an expert in that.  
It's a board of 5,000 regular posters and 50,000 lurkers educated at a top 50 global university with a wide range of expertise and life experience.  That's a really powerful board and place and is truly exceptional.  And a bunch of bored lawyers wasting time and billing it to the schmucks on their client list. 

[crash_davis 23108]

I poke my head in this thread every now and then so see if it can get more cringey. I am amazed every time. 

 

[Brisketexan 105122]

39 minutes ago, Eastwood said:

The “Surly exceptionalism” theory is a new one for me. An unbiased party reading this site probably thinks we all type by slamming our heads on the keyboard. 

Fucking perfection.

20 minutes ago, crash_davis said:

I poke my head in this thread every now and then so see if it can get more cringey. I am amazed every time. 

 

And also this.

[Js1 85320]

24 minutes ago, crash_davis said:

I poke my head in this thread every now and then so see if it can get more cringey. I am amazed every time. 

 

It's amazing.  This website is sometimes, for me, a window into the average heterosexual male. And let me tell ya, looking into that window is like

[956 Worldwide 34710]

54 minutes ago, Eastwood said:

The “Surly exceptionalism” theory is a new one for me. An unbiased party reading this site probably thinks we all type by slamming our heads on the keyboard. 

I type with my well over six inch dick. 

[Brisketexan 105122]

6 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:

I type with my well over six inch dick. 

Me too.  On my cell phone.  Which looks a lot like this:

[Guest]

I always assumed that the vast majority of folks posting under pseudonyms on forums were posting shit just for fun, and probably nothing like their online persona in real life.  Who tf comes to the internet to be genuine?  I don't get the point.  

[Eastwood 4394]

In the older days of Shaggy, I had knock down, drag out shit flinging arguments with posters that I was certain I wouldn’t want to even share an empty parking lot with. Then you end up having two beers with someone at a tailgate before you even get around to having the “I’m from the internet” conversation and realize that not only are you talking to that person, you are actually enjoying their company.

And it happened a lot over a 3 or 4 year period. Really drove home the “human” aspect of the internet for me. It’s easy to get crossways with pixels on a screen.

[Nivek 16928]

I think in general we did a poor job of communicating largely due to the reference frames we had.   I was thinking about a few folks that had some issues which were difficult to overcome without professional help and guidance.   I think this is the type that Wulaw and I were thinking about.

Then I remembered D.  He was a grad school colleague of mine who was constantly a 3rd wheel, friend-zoned, and really wanted to connect with someone.  He was in a Texas State culture school, but was getting nowhere.  He was big (about 6'4", doughy, glasses, bad haircut, strong from working on a farm) and when I took him out to a strip club he wore his best dragon shirt.   Prior to that when his car was in need of repair, I showed up, showed him how to diagnose the issue and showed him how to fix it himself.  He was really proud of doing it himself (I guess on that farm he just did heavy lifting).    One day,  I heard him complain about the lack of action, and another friend of ours decided to take him out for drinks and a strip club tour as I was leaving town soon.  I knew he would be too scared to ask so we arranged for him to get backroom dances.  He returned hair all messed up, glasses canted, and with a shell-shocked look on his face.   Don't get me wrong he initially resisted the idea of going out to a strip club, but I guess he trusted me enough to finally say yes eventually.  He ultimately changed from being a man-child to a man, sure he still probably loves dragons and probably has a sword collection, but he is now happily married.   I have no doubt his wife made the first moves, and I believe they are both into Renaissance festival things.   We pushed him a little bit, but he deserves all the credit.  It was a little surprising to me how he couldn't work on cars, but I guess no one trusted him or tried to build him up.   I think these are the types of guys that Sydney Carlton and Brisket were talking about, the guys that need a little push. 

I also think getting back on topic the types that go overseas looking for a mate, are probably able to be split up as well.  Ones who seek to dangle a green card and those who are just awkward and finding an opportunity to meet women who may seem exotic and generally looking for companionship.   I think the predators, the types that show up with a sack of viagra and a stack of 1's are probably the same types that looked for tips on our Sugar Daddy thread about when to time the 'dates' with rental dues.   But the latter types may just be more like D above who are looking for companionship and need women to make the first step by joining those mail-ordered date foreigners groups.  

I do think another component not talked about is what someone finds attractive.  We have all likely met women we found attractive that our friends did not and vice versa.   So just dangling a homely girl in front of a homely boy isn't always going to work.   I think I recall one of those signing gorillas (maybe Koko?) saying the male they got for her was 'ugly.'   

All in all, it is more complicated than we really appreciate.   

 

[Nivek 16928]

10 minutes ago, Eastwood said:

In the older days of Shaggy, I had knock down, drag out shit flinging arguments with posters that I was certain I wouldn’t want to even share an empty parking lot with. Then you end up having two beers with someone at a tailgate before you even get around to having the “I’m from the internet” conversation and realize that not only are you talking to that person, you are actually enjoying their company.

And it happened a lot over a 3 or 4 year period. Really drove home the “human” aspect of the internet for me. It’s easy to get crossways with pixels on a screen.

fuck you.  

[Brisketexan 105122]

8 minutes ago, Nivek said:

fuck you.  

Beat me to it.

Fucking asshole.

[Newdoc 3439]

2 hours ago, Wulaw Horn said:

was valedictorian and national merit scholar

But wasn’t this your high school? 

[Wulaw Horn 19069]

54 minutes ago, axiom of foundation said:

I always assumed that the vast majority of folks posting under pseudonyms on forums were posting shit just for fun, and probably nothing like their online persona in real life.  Who tf comes to the internet to be genuine?  I don't get the point.  

I've met and worked with enough people on here and other longhorn sites that I consider friends to be anything other than genuine.  But that's me. I'm probably a small subset of people that post here, and remember the people that post here are a small subset of the people that consume this content as there are 50k lurkers, 5k posters and 500 regular posters.  This shit is fascinating to me but I'm not going to be anything less than transparent or truthful or genuine because that's my nature. Other people enjoyment here in other ways and that's cool too.  
I really liked @Eastwood's post.  After about the 2nd or 3rd time that happened to me IRL I decided that I was going to try to see a real person behind the internet persona whenever possible.

[Chad Fuck 17675]

2 hours ago, Eastwood said:

The “Surly exceptionalism” theory is a new one for me. An unbiased party reading this site probably thinks we all type by slamming our heads on the keyboard. 

[Felix 607]

The vast majority of people on this thread are men.  We have a hard time seeing things from the female perspective so we tend to frame al these issues from the male side.  I know lots of men who are happily married or in relationships, or just have satisfying dating lives and not all, but most of the really successful ones see women as people.  Companions not receptacles.  Having three daughters has really pushed home to me how often these men who see themselves as alphas see women as objects for them to obtain.  They don't want a companion they want a trophy or a conquest.  The successful ones get laid a lot but don't ever seen to find a mate.  The unsuccessful ones are the passport bros.

I agree it's a complex problem that doesn't lend itself to a simple answer but that's been my observation.  I was raised to see women as companions and friends as well as sexual partners and it's cost me getting laid a few times, but it's also lead to a fulfilling married and social life.  If your sole criteria is looks, you best look good yourself or have a lot of money/fame or you're probably going to be disappointed.

[Guest]

23 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

I've met and worked with enough people on here and other longhorn sites that I consider friends to be anything other than genuine.  But that's me. I'm probably a small subset of people that post here, and remember the people that post here are a small subset of the people that consume this content as there are 50k lurkers, 5k posters and 500 regular posters.  This shit is fascinating to me but I'm not going to be anything less than transparent or truthful or genuine because that's my nature. Other people enjoyment here in other ways and that's cool too.  
I really liked @Eastwood's post.  After about the 2nd or 3rd time that happened to me IRL I decided that I was going to try to see a real person behind the internet persona whenever possible.

I was exaggerating a bit to the highlight the point, as I think it's more likely there is a spectrum between authenticity and posting-as-sport that we fall somewhere on.  In your case more towards the authenticity side.  For me its mostly a game like any other online game.  My point is there is likely some element of that for many posters, which is one of the reasons why it is hard to make any determinations about how a person is in real life based on posting style.  And also one of the reasons why you may not like an online persona at all and yet like the poster behind the persona in real life.  

[HonkeyVape 107]

Seems like 14 pages of overthinking it. 

Passport bros seem to me like middle of the road, average dudes (from the youtube video linked) who either aren't of the ability or are impatient to the process, of getting to being wealthy and privileged in being able to fund an excessive and fun and hedonistic lifestyle. So they go overseas to short-cut it.

It's the equivalent of having a strong U.S. Dollar go further in third world countries and being "rich" when you travel other places, which makes being a "playboy baller" easier to do.

These guys aren't overweight losers in the basement playing D&D or autists (at least, again, from watching the linked youtube video and the videos that follow on passport bros) they are Rocko20's-- leasing corvettes and making middle class income with off the rack but decent clothes in the States, but would be seen as exceptional in Thailand or [fill in the blank]. Which is why the -bro epithet fits (again, as opposed to the sad sacks people are talking about-- 300lb people and acne losers and autists, etc.)

[G650 14254]

1 hour ago, Nivek said:

I think in general we did a poor job of communicating largely due to the reference frames we had.   I was thinking about a few folks that had some issues which were difficult to overcome without professional help and guidance.   I think this is the type that Wulaw and I were thinking about.

Then I remembered D.  He was a grad school colleague of mine who was constantly a 3rd wheel, friend-zoned, and really wanted to connect with someone.  He was in a Texas State culture school, but was getting nowhere.  He was big (about 6'4", doughy, glasses, bad haircut, strong from working on a farm) and when I took him out to a strip club he wore his best dragon shirt.   Prior to that when his car was in need of repair, I showed up, showed him how to diagnose the issue and showed him how to fix it himself.  He was really proud of doing it himself (I guess on that farm he just did heavy lifting).    One day,  I heard him complain about the lack of action, and another friend of ours decided to take him out for drinks and a strip club tour as I was leaving town soon.  I knew he would be too scared to ask so we arranged for him to get backroom dances.  He returned hair all messed up, glasses canted, and with a shell-shocked look on his face.   Don't get me wrong he initially resisted the idea of going out to a strip club, but I guess he trusted me enough to finally say yes eventually.  He ultimately changed from being a man-child to a man, sure he still probably loves dragons and probably has a sword collection, but he is now happily married.   I have no doubt his wife made the first moves, and I believe they are both into Renaissance festival things.   We pushed him a little bit, but he deserves all the credit.  It was a little surprising to me how he couldn't work on cars, but I guess no one trusted him or tried to build him up.   I think these are the types of guys that Sydney Carlton and Brisket were talking about, the guys that need a little push. 

I also think getting back on topic the types that go overseas looking for a mate, are probably able to be split up as well.  Ones who seek to dangle a green card and those who are just awkward and finding an opportunity to meet women who may seem exotic and generally looking for companionship.   I think the predators, the types that show up with a sack of viagra and a stack of 1's are probably the same types that looked for tips on our Sugar Daddy thread about when to time the 'dates' with rental dues.   But the latter types may just be more like D above who are looking for companionship and need women to make the first step by joining those mail-ordered date foreigners groups.  

I do think another component not talked about is what someone finds attractive.  We have all likely met women we found attractive that our friends did not and vice versa.   So just dangling a homely girl in front of a homely boy isn't always going to work.   I think I recall one of those signing gorillas (maybe Koko?) saying the male they got for her was 'ugly.'   

All in all, it is more complicated than we really appreciate.   

 

This is a good post. And that dude sounds awesome tbh.

[G650 14254]

14 minutes ago, Felix said:

I know lots of men who are happily married or in relationships, or just have satisfying dating lives and not all, but most of the really successful ones see women as people

 

Precisely

[52-80 19152]

[gmr548 16576]

I can't fit into the back of a Honda fit.

I mean, are you like 6’6”+? I’m 6’2” and drive a Fit. I’ve been in the back of them and never had an issue. Great vehicles, they are much roomier than ostensibly bigger cars.

[Guest]

We've covered casual mentioning of dong size, height, income, and beautiful woman we've been with.   All we need now is for someone here to challenge another poster to a fight to hit for the cycle.  

[sidis 9827]

[strangulation! 1716]

24 minutes ago, gmr548 said:

I mean, are you like 6’6”+? I’m 6’2” and drive a Fit. I’ve been in the back of them and never had an issue. Great vehicles, they are much roomier than ostensibly bigger cars.

[sidis 9827]

2 minutes ago, axiom of foundation said:

We've covered casual mentioning of dong size, height, income, and beautiful woman we've been with.   All we need now is for someone here to challenge another poster to a fight to hit for the cycle.  

mine was not casual.  it was very boastful and purposeful...and it was extremely validating.

and we are long way from a cycle.  no corvettes, no raydog and his thai ladyboys, no abortion, no one telling anyone else they should kill themselves, no mention of hydraulics, and we haven't even gotten close to steering an argument regarding the absurdities of fundamentalist christianity into a metaphysical debate over axiom 3 of godel's ontological argument.

that said, we did get a mile long post from brisket and someone used the term "efficientnado" so we are well on our way.  but my key takeaways have actually been that 956 revealed to me the best idea i've seen in years...ghost writing this century's confederacy of dunces by aggregating all of wulaw's posts on this site and turning them into a novel.

[StassneyHorn 6575]

Stunning lack of vids/pics in here. Vanessa from Cancun has a message for all, after she got angry I invited some obvious prostitutes to our table.

 

[MissingInAction 25065]

40 minutes ago, gmr548 said:

I mean, are you like 6’6”+? I’m 6’2” and drive a Fit. I’ve been in the back of them and never had an issue. Great vehicles, they are much roomier than ostensibly bigger cars.

I'm also 260 pounds and require space.

[MissingInAction 25065]

31 minutes ago, sidis said:

I guess that's better than an actual stuffed woman and baby. Not by much.

The real doll franchise could be un/knowingly keeping serial killers off the streets.

Edited June 23, 2023 by MissingInAction

[Sandman 3403]

53 minutes ago, gmr548 said:

I mean, are you like 6’6”+? I’m 6’2” and drive a Fit. I’ve been in the back of them and never had an issue. Great vehicles, they are much roomier than ostensibly bigger cars.

I'm 6'6 and no, I can't fit in the back of my friend's Fit. But I can fit behind the wheel of my GTI. Just don't look at me when I'm trying to get inside. 

[Fudge Nuggets 19190]

4 hours ago, sidis said:

 

 

[Fondren & Main 6715]

4 hours ago, sidis said:

Is it too late to renounce SEC membership!?  WHAT THE FUCK!?

[Wulaw Horn 19069]

2 minutes ago, longhornmatt said:

You have indeed planted a seed that will change the world, my friend.  For years everyone has said there was nothing left to do in the industry, no stone left unturned.  Consumers long ago gave up on finding anything truly novel.  Investors abandoned any hope of hitting the jackpot and settled for the safe and steady return as innovation stifled.  

But that all changed today.  I would like to officially announce the launch of my new genre porn website: “MatchmakerFromHell.com”.  Where family members systematically break down the hopes and dreams of their relatives until they agree to fuck clearly off-kilter strangers in the guest bedroom next to the where the kids sleep.  “Tickle the balls, Cousin Bertha.  He says it’s the only thing that does it for him, because it reminds him of how he felt the first time he killed a prostitute.  Anyway, if you need anything else, I’ll be across the hall with snacks and lotions, but come before we get the baby to sleep.  Remember, you can’t do better!”

We didn’t have kids yet. 
Some people just need to be reminded you’re not the best, but you’re the best that I can do. And at that intersection of realistic standards and best you can do comes contentment and peace and happiness. I don’t like it as weird porn but rather as the best version of a dating app. 

[closetohumping 17440]

Any 7/7/7s in the heezy?