Which cruise lines are trashiest?

[EastHorn 281]

Try this one https://www.abercrombiekent.com/cruises

They do a nice safari

[CycleTex87 2967]

Page 2 here and very few photos of trashy cruise shenanigans. 

[927 E. 41st 1124]

Done a few cruises and liked them. I've never done Carnival or MSC but was told to avoid them. Alaska was nice, but not sure I would do it again. I prefer the warm water.

Although, before I did the Alaskan cruise I never new that Skagway was an Eskimo word for "town with crappy gift shops". 😀

[DFWTexEx 276]

Swinger's cruise, eh?

This is a common question about Virgin Voyages because of the adults only experience and how they market the scene on board. From what I can tell, the cruise is mostly straight, monogamous vanilla but the upside down pineapple crowd is comfortable as are the LGBT+ folks. But, who knows what folks do after a few Aperols?

[Irwin F Fletcher 3550]

Check out the Ritz Carlton yacht collection.

[Guest]

21 hours ago, UnivTex34 said:

my smallish company is doing an anniversary cruise in October. Carnival out of Galveston. I knew it was bad, but yall are making feel awesome about it.

 

Oh well week away from the kids, and no cost, so I intend on getting blasted and watching the Walmart shit sho.

We did a work cruise in 2007, no spouses, on Carnival.  It was my first cruise.  It was WalMart hell.

I did stay drunk most of the time, but was still amazed at the environment on the ship.  Multiple people were no longer employed with us upon our return to Texas.

My wife has suggested going on cruises since then and I am insistent upon never doing the Caribbean again.  It's gonna be Alaska or European.  That shit was just ridiculous.

[MonkeyDoughnut 10229]

Cruiser here so couple questions you need to answer... If mom a cruiser? If so she will have a preference. Cost? You can pay a little or ever living crap ton for cruises. With multiple family I'm going to point you to the Carnival / Royal ships unless everyone is 60+ then hit up the Lubys on water quieter, smaller brands.

When you are going might determine port preference. If beach people, Galveston and Miami would be my preferences, Miami being better for destinations, Galveston for I'm in Houston and hate the after cruise flights home.

Cruiser rule #1 is you will have as much fun and enjoyment as you decide to. If your not having a good time it's on you. For Royal/Carnival there are two types... get off my lawn...and come join the party.

If kids are included, you need to be on one of the bigger ships for everyone to really enjoy themselves.

[Bullneck 19073]

On 6/8/2023 at 6:07 PM, TwiceHorn said:

Carnival is the main one you want to avoid for floating Walmart.

Royal Caribbean is spendy and the ships are nice, but ginormous, which implies a lot of people of Walmart.

Holland America I think is a step up from Royal Caribbean.

I have always heard good things about Alaska cruises.  Not beachy, so fewer families with ringmeat kids.

My parents really enjoyed a cruise on the St. Lawrence.

I went on Disney and RCL cruises several times between 1995 and 2015.  One thing I noticed on my last RCL cruise was that they have automated as much of the guest experience as possible.  There were times -- particularly on the pool deck -- when there wasn't a single crew member in sight (think about that when you read about hour long fights breaking out on a cruise).

Generally speaking, smaller is better.  And as pointed out above, more costly since cruise lines have dropped the Panamax restriction decades ago and build widebody ships now.  

If I were going to go on a cruise again my one requirement would be a balcony room.  

Edited June 14, 2023 by Bullneck

[Frank Drebin 5660]

On 6/8/2023 at 7:35 PM, jimmyjazz said:

I've been on one cruise.  Carnival, right after they opened up their Galveston -> Yucatan run.

I must strongly suggest you avoid Carnival.  "Floating Walmart" is an insult to Walmart.

Went on one 20+ years ago on Spring Break.  Never again.  Unless someone offered to pay me a whole lot of money.

And I love being on boats and out at sea.  Just not on a cruise ship.

[CHIEF 5078]

With the Sargassum problem in the Caribbean and Gulf, right now, the west side of Cozumel will probably be one of the few cruising destinations without fucked up, stinky beaches. The problem, and the reason you have the Walmart crowd, is you can go 3-4 days for under $300/person, and for 7 days for under $500. That's just as cheap as staying at home. Every ship, out of Galveston, always makes a trip to Cozumel.  The tourist traps at the end of the cruise ship piers are a spectacle to behold.

https://www.carnival.com/cruise-search?pageNumber=1&numadults=4&port=GAL&pagesize=8&sort=fromprice&showBest=true&=undefined&gad=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwhJukBhBPEiwAniIcNeRnAq715AvGzOjeIU0exybuiGfk9NqqrNQduclid5FczgiTmfPoHhoCcFcQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

If they are just "beach" people and not necessarily the "swim in the ocean types," I would just book all inclusive to Cabo. There will be Walmart types, there, as well. But you can avoid them since you are not cooped up on a ship with them.

CHIEF

[lemonlime 5503]

On 6/8/2023 at 9:26 PM, Your Mom said:

I wish something like that was in the cards but it’s not. My mom and sister are beach people. I couldn’t give a fuck about going to the beach for the rest of my life if it were up to me.  
My mom hasn’t traveled a whole lot in her life, so we’re trying to make it a great trip for her and it will need to be tropical. 

How about Hawaii?  The only large ship cruise I've done is Alaska on Celebrity, and as others have said, Celebrity is nice, not a floating Walmart, but not enough time in port to explore more than the touristy gift shops.  I've also done a Nile cruise and a windjammer up the Maine coast, both of which were fantastic. But I would guess a Hawaii cruise would get a less trashy crowd (more expensive, harder to get there).

Edited June 13, 2023 by lemonlime

[Gil Bang 25921]

5 hours ago, CHIEF said:

With the Sargassum problem in the Caribbean and Gulf, right now, the west side of Cozumel will probably be one of the few cruising destinations without fucked up, stinky beaches. The problem, and the reason you have the Walmart crowd, is you can go 3-4 days for under $300/person, and for 7 days for under $500. That's just as cheap as staying at home. Every ship, out of Galveston, always makes a trip to Cozumel.  The tourist traps at the end of the cruise ship piers are a spectacle to behold.

https://www.carnival.com/cruise-search?pageNumber=1&numadults=4&port=GAL&pagesize=8&sort=fromprice&showBest=true&=undefined&gad=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwhJukBhBPEiwAniIcNeRnAq715AvGzOjeIU0exybuiGfk9NqqrNQduclid5FczgiTmfPoHhoCcFcQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

If they are just "beach" people and not necessarily the "swim in the ocean types," I would just book all inclusive to Cabo. There will be Walmart types, there, as well. But you can avoid them since you are not cooped up on a ship with them.

CHIEF

As I mentioned above, my only cruise was last year on Celebrity. 

It was "Mexican Riviera".  LA to Cobo, Puerto Vallarta, and Ensenada.

We met another couple that were on their third consecutive loop of that cruise.  The hadn't been off the boat in 3 weeks.  They had an interior room, no meal upgrades, and didn't drink booze.  It was cheaper than being at home for them.

[Deej 76755]

I'd do a New Zealand cruise, providing on could spend a month on the islands after I disembarked. 

[tigol 2395]

On 6/10/2023 at 12:06 PM, Bullneck said:

I've went on Disney and RCL cruises several times between 1995 and 2015.  One thing I noticed on my last RCL cruise was that they have automated as much of the guest experience as possible.  There were times -- particularly on the pool deck -- when there wasn't a single crew member in sight (think about that when you read about hour long fights breaking out on a cruise).

Generally speaking, smaller is better.  And as pointed out above, more costly since cruise lines have dropped the Panamax restriction decades ago and build widebody ships now.  

If I were going to go on a cruise again my one requirement would be a balcony room.  

Dude.

[Your Mom 4805]

The family booked a Royal Caribbean out of Galveston.  They insisted on a Galveston cruise because it’s easier, I insisted on RC over Carnival and I’ll just plan on it being like one of those nicer Walmarts.  
Got a balcony room. I don’t know or care where the stops are.  It’s after school starts so should be no kids.

Started planning a trip to Switzerland for next summer to help me cope. 

[TwiceHorn 31440]

1 minute ago, Your Mom said:

The family booked a Royal Caribbean out of Galveston.  They insisted on a Galveston cruise because it’s easier, I insisted on RC over Carnival and I’ll just plan on it being like one of those nicer Walmarts.  
Got a balcony room. I don’t know or care where the stops are.  It’s after school starts so should be no kids.

Started planning a trip to Switzerland for next summer to help me cope. 

Not too bad.  Their ships are very nice.  Food should be pretty decent.

[Bullneck 19073]

1 hour ago, tigol said:

Dude.

Fixed

I done gone on Disney and RCL cruises several times

(pretty common for me, actually.  That's why I need to edit about 95% of my posts)

Edited June 14, 2023 by Bullneck

[Guest]

56 minutes ago, Your Mom said:

The family booked a Royal Caribbean out of Galveston.  They insisted on a Galveston cruise because it’s easier, I insisted on RC over Carnival and I’ll just plan on it being like one of those nicer Walmarts.  
Got a balcony room. I don’t know or care where the stops are.  It’s after school starts so should be no kids.

Started planning a trip to Switzerland for next summer to help me cope. 

You're fine. Allure or Harmony? Or one of the other ships? Going after school is back is a good move. It's also a less expensive time to sail.

I think of a cruise like Las Vegas - I'm not a fan of Vegas but if you can't go and have a good time for a few days, that's on you. If you go and decide it's absolutely not your thing, you can get drinks, sit on the balcony and order room service. I do think the shows are pretty good, especially at the Aqua Theater.

I actually like the food on Carnival better than Royal Caribbean, but the atmosphere on Royal Caribbean is more my style. Royal Caribbean also just seems better run in my opinion.

-------------

For other folks, there are some ground rules to know in picking a cruise if you're worried about the crowd:

- Departure ports matter: Sailing from Miami is way different in who you'll cruise with than from Galveston. In Florida, a cruise is something that everyone does because it's so easily available. In Texas, more of the stereotypes seem to come into play. 

- Short vs. Long: Shorter cruises are going to be more party atmosphere and more of the behavior that goes viral. Three days for $200 attracts a very different crowd than 7 days for $800-$1,000.

- Price matters: Akin to the length of the cruise, the more you pay, the better the experience if you're wanting something nicer. 
 

 

[SydneyCarton 48063]

I got suckered into a Royal Caribbean that were taking here in a couple weeks. I was hesitant, having never been on a cruise and well aware of the floating walmart mythology. But my sister in law asked, and our 5 year old son is super close with his 6 year old cousin, so here we are.

We got a suite, which will hopefully offer a reprieve from the People of Walmart, but I'll report back and let everyone know how it goes.  

[texasdago 7568]

3 hours ago, Your Mom said:

Started planning a trip to Switzerland for next summer to help me cope. 

Yin Yang in action

[RPM 26318]

On 6/8/2023 at 5:07 PM, TwiceHorn said:

Royal Caribbean is spendy and the ships are nice, but ginormous, which implies a lot of people of Walmart.

I've taken 2 cruises, both Royal Caribbean. They were short Bahamas cruises on the smaller ships, but premium service.

[futureman 22444]

https://www.cunard.com/en-us

[futureman 22444]

never cruised but have family that have done it.  the extended luxury cruise fascinates me.  cunard does a three-month world tour kind of thing and the nicer suites are about $75K per person.  probably pretty cool if you’re retired and rich. 

[TwiceHorn 31440]

3 minutes ago, futureman said:

never cruised but have family that have done it.  the extended luxury cruise fascinates me.  cunard does a three-month world tour kind of thing and the nicer suites are about $75K per person.  probably pretty cool if you’re retired and rich. 

My aunt, rich af, took my grandmother to London on the Concord, returning on the QE2.

The QE2 is plenty luxurious, but it lacks stabilizers, and the North Atlantic crossing can be brutal.

Most of the people on the ship spent the cruise in their cabins barfing their guts out.

[futureman 22444]

well that doesn’t sound very good

[TwiceHorn 31440]

The QE2 no longer sails.  The rest of the Cunard ships are more modern and have stabilizers, etc.

[jimmyjazz 45891]

LOL my parents sailed from NYC to France and back for their delayed honeymoon ~ 1956.  They biked around western Europe for 3 weeks and brought their bikes with them.  (Sounded like a dumb plan to me, but I wasn't exactly around at the time.)

[dieucla98 2942]

I will say one positive about cruise ships - they truly are a marvel. Just enormous and impressive engineering feats.

Outside of that, fuck them.

Also, if you are beach people, you don't really get to spend much time on an actual beach on these cruises. It's a lot of time on the same boat surrounded by the same people.

[Guest]

2 minutes ago, dieucla98 said:

I will say one positive about cruise ships - they truly are a marvel. Just enormous and impressive engineering feats.

Outside of that, fuck them.

Also, if you are beach people, you don't really get to spend much time on an actual beach on these cruises. It's a lot of time on the same boat surrounded by the same people.

No doubt. On a 7-day cruise, there's about 160 on your vacation. If there are three ports with stops from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., that's 27 hours in port and 133 hours (~85% of the time) on the ship.

Pick a ship/cruise line you want to be on.

[gyroprotagonist 2592]

obvious answer is obvious

https://www.digitalmusicnews.com/2017/04/10/kid-rock-cruise/

 

Quote

Women were regularly dancing topless with just Kid Rock pasties covering their nipples. A man wore a hat with gigantic boobs on the rim.
When the news helicopter flew by before we departed Tampa, everyone stood on the deck flipping it off. The middle finger this week was more a gesture of camaraderie and endearment than hate or anger. “Motherfucker” was shot every which way with a high five and a cheers.

Despite the few Make America Great Again hats and Trump shirts I spotted, there was very little politics discussed.
The only time I ever heard it come remotely close to a political discussion was when a middle aged man at the black jack table volunteered how he thought everyone needs a gun, Sandy Hook was staged by the “news media and the government to take away our guns” and that 9-11 was an inside job. For the record, he wasn’t “a fan of the current administration” either.

As I live in the liberal bubble of Los Angeles, I don’t interact with this crowd very often – to say the least.

But Kid Rock understand’s his audience. And his audience fucking loves him.
Kid Rock doesn’t seem to give a fuck about anything (he hilariously, albeit lovingly, mocked his fans asking questions during the official Q&A – searching his pockets after a fan’s question he said “hold on… I’m looking for a fuck”).

Kid Rock seemed to be drunk the entire cruise. When a woman asked to get a photo with him with her boyfriend standing right there, he responded “Are you going to sleep with me?” He may have been joking. But probably not. He doesn’t give a fuck. And you kind of have to love him for that. And to be honest, most boyfriends seemed to openly give their ladies passes for Kid Rock this week.

 

[Deej 76755]

4 hours ago, TwiceHorn said:

My aunt, rich af, took my grandmother to London on the Concord, returning on the QE2.

The QE2 is plenty luxurious, but it lacks stabilizers, and the North Atlantic crossing can be brutal.

Most of the people on the ship spent the cruise in their cabins barfing their guts out.

That was probably the English cuisine that caused all the vomiting. 

[TwiceHorn 31440]

4 hours ago, dieucla98 said:

I will say one positive about cruise ships - they truly are a marvel. Just enormous and impressive engineering feats.

Outside of that, fuck them.

Also, if you are beach people, you don't really get to spend much time on an actual beach on these cruises. It's a lot of time on the same boat surrounded by the same people.

I really enjoy being on a ship.  If you do things like walk around, go on the bridge and engine room tour, and sit around reading, either on deck or in the library/reading room, they're great.  In other words, things the hoi polloi have no interest in doing.

[Lurch 5922]

How about Hawaii?  The only large ship cruise I've done is Alaska on Celebrity, and as others have said, Celebrity is nice, not a floating Walmart, but not enough time in port to explore more than the touristy gift shops.  I've also done a Nile cruise and a windjammer up the Maine coast, both of which were fantastic. But I would guess a Hawaii cruise would get a less trashy crowd (more expensive, harder to get there).

I’m about to do this next week. Our first ever cruise, but third trip to Hawaii. Will report back on trashiness factor, but I’m guessing it’s pretty low for the reasons you suggest, and also because alcohol isn’t included in the F&B packages (due to Hawaiian law?)

[horn4life 3759]

I honestly do not fucking understand cruises.  I hate fucking waiting in line, except for maybe at Continental Club.  The idea of lining up to get off and on the boat, and for whatever else is cool, just kills it for me.  

To me it seems like a floating motel with  assorted herds of drunk folks who like to stand in lines. So I'm out.  

 

** The one exception might be a smaller vessel on a river. My folks did a smaller ship up the Nile, and they did really enjoy it.

[The Ace of Aces 5175]

We’ve done two Queen Mary 2 crossings from London back home to the northeast. Best way ever and we don’t have to worry about all the shit we buy in London - no luggage charges. 

[Nueces River Rat 5537]

 Viking is the only cruise line I will consider in the future.   I’ve done Carnival twice about 10 years ago and hated it as it felt like floating timeshare.  Viking seems more like a true floating hotel in the sense that most of their itineraries are void of days at sea and the Ports of Call can often last two days.  The one day stops preset much arrive very early in the morning and leave fairly late in the morning which gives you a big timeframe to see some site on shore.  

[Surly Bevo 24908]

87th post guys???

[HornPhD 1368]

On 6/14/2023 at 1:51 PM, gyroprotagonist said:

obvious answer is obvious

https://www.digitalmusicnews.com/2017/04/10/kid-rock-cruise/

 

 

Where’s the “gun-to-my-head” emoji?

My wife’s mother loves cruises, so we’ve gone on a few with her. The best one was when our two kids and our nieces were old enough to walk around the ship by themselves. Our daily routine would include a morning workout, chilling at the adults only pool, getting afternoon martinis (get the drink package), and playing scrabble in the library room (hardly anyone there). 

[TornACL 7698]

On 6/14/2023 at 8:43 AM, SydneyCarton said:

I got suckered into a Royal Caribbean that were taking here in a couple weeks. I was hesitant, having never been on a cruise and well aware of the floating walmart mythology. But my sister in law asked, and our 5 year old son is super close with his 6 year old cousin, so here we are.

We got a suite, which will hopefully offer a reprieve from the People of Walmart, but I'll report back and let everyone know how it goes.  

I have also been suckered into taking a RC cruise out of Galveston in a couple of weeks, I took the spot of one of the travelling party who had to cancel.

My last cruise was an Alaskan cruise when I was 9. I have extremely low expectations.

[gmr548 16576]

my smallish company is doing an anniversary cruise in October. Carnival out of Galveston. I knew it was bad, but yall are making feel awesome about it.
 
Oh well week away from the kids, and no cost, so I intend on getting blasted and watching the Walmart shit sho.

We did a work cruise in 2007, no spouses, on Carnival.  It was my first cruise.  It was WalMart hell.
I did stay drunk most of the time, but was still amazed at the environment on the ship.  Multiple people were no longer employed with us upon our return to Texas.
My wife has suggested going on cruises since then and I am insistent upon never doing the Caribbean again.  It's gonna be Alaska or European.  That shit was just ridiculous.

Oi. I thought being roped into taking 80 year old mom on a cruise could not be beaten in terms of “closest thing to hell on earth”, but replacing that with forced vacation with coworkers while leaving wife/kids at home is probably worse.

[UnivTex34 1763]

38 minutes ago, gmr548 said:

 

Oi. I thought being roped into taking 80 year old mom on a cruise could not be beaten in terms of “closest thing to hell on earth”, but replacing that with forced vacation with coworkers while leaving wife/kids at home is probably worse.

 

Wife gets to come. Kids to the grandparents.

[Gil Bang 25921]

This is a great idea

https://johnnyjet.com/a-reader-suggested-this-little-known-cruise-essential-i-never-knew-existed-and-she-was-spot-on/

[Ag with kids 581]

 

Because I care, I'll throw you guys a bone...

[jimmyjazz 45891]

WTF is that thing?  

[Ag with kids 581]

35 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:

WTF is that thing?  

Fuck if I know.  Maybe some boat for some Ocean Engineering degree or some shit?  But, you have to admit, that cruising on it would be pretty trashy (even I think that)...

[jimmyjazz 45891]

I thought it was a flag photoshopped onto a Forest Gump set piece.  Please, dear God, tell me they're flying that thing for real.  I wonder how much it cuts their fuel efficiency?

[Neonmoon 38129]

Answer: They're ALL trashy. 

Embrace the trash. Go full cousin eddy, get black out drunk, and get stuck on the waterslide. 

 

CSB: When I was around 10, I went on a Royal Caribbean cruise with a friend's family. I knew it was going to be awesome when the first day I saw a kid running around the cabin halls with a life jacket on screaming the boats sinking, the boats sinking. 

[SydneyCarton 48063]

8 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:

I thought it was a flag photoshopped onto a Forest Gump set piece.  Please, dear God, tell me they're flying that thing for real.  I wonder how much it cuts their fuel efficiency?

That flag does look shopped, but the logo by the bridge on the top certainly looks real. And googling the ship name, Trident, with A&M gets us:

https://www.tamug.edu/vesseloperationsoffice/TAMUG_Vessel_Fleet/RVTrident.html

 

You're welcome.

 

 

 

[Ag with kids 581]

18 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:

I thought it was a flag photoshopped onto a Forest Gump set piece.  Please, dear God, tell me they're flying that thing for real.  I wonder how much it cuts their fuel efficiency?

I doubt that flag would do much to the fuel efficiency.  The water is going to cause a LOT more drag than that little flag will...

It looks like they attached it to the crane that is covered up in the last pic.

But...it looks like it's Beach Aggies...

Edited June 20, 2023 by Ag with kids

[BHMCruiser 1813]

On 6/8/2023 at 5:03 PM, CHIEF said:

After watching cruisers disembark from the pier in Cozumel a couple of weeks ago, I would have to say Carnival and Disney have to be the run away leaders on 400 lb. bald guys with tribal tattoos, and 250 lb. wives in thong bikinis. 

I have only went on one cruise. It was the Alaskan cruise on Celebrity. It was pretty good. But I really don't ever want to go on another, but that would be the one to go on. The time in port is way too short. Not really enough time to do anything but their shitty excursion racket, or shop for tourist shit. I'm sure it is designed that way so the cruise line can get a cut of it.

CHIEF

I also did the Celebrity Alaskan cruise. It was fine. I never want to do another cruise. The food was pretty good but it was too crowded and my main objection is that cruises are predominantly old retired people who are used to doing whatever they want when they feel like it so lines, getting on and off elevators, shit like that is excruciating.