Which cruise lines are trashiest?

[SydneyCarton 47055]

10 hours ago, BamaATL said:

To say that this has been an informative read with a surly slant of humor would be an understatement.  My wife and I have both never been on a cruise and we are thinking of trying the Norwegian, with a Haven suite. For those that have done this, did you find it worth it?  Also, it sort seems like the cruise industry is entirely modeled on the "old man rip you off" business model; i.e. they aim to get you at every turn.  We don't mind paying the extra to be a bit off the radar to the riff raff, but not sure if that is really worth it or not.  Neither of us do particularly well in crowds for extended periods, and the idea that we can retreat to more serenity and calm is quite appealing. 

Additionally, neither of us do particularly well with just lounging around, and neither of us drink (we also don't gamble).  With that in mind, are we going to be bored to tears doing this?  I've always wanted to visit the Virgin Islands, both British and American, and we think we've found a cruise that does that.  I do have some pause because it seems like you just sort of get off the ship, do some random crap, and get right back on, without ever really seeing anything.  Does that seem about right?

Also, why the fuck would I have a butler, which apparently comes with this?  In my mind I keep thinking I'm just gonna have some weirdo hanging out in my room for no apparent reason.  I'm gonna have a hard enough time trying to convince my wife not to try to find a vacuum (she finds cleaning comforting).  

The industry is confusing and irritating as fuck, you will find "all inclusive" pricing, but every turn there are stipulations and exclusions, basically a bunch of marketing nonsense to get you on the ship and then just constantly hit you up for more and more.  I'm guessing I have that part right.  So budget for time and a half the final "price"?

First, I think you need to seek help in the from of professional treatment for the issues I've bolded above. 

Butler just means room service, and occasional requests. 

My cruise story here has been recounted. The only other cruise I'd ever consider is something high, high end like a viking river, or a norwegian where you have a balcony and you can sit on it all day and watch the mountians and glaciers pass. But I'd qualify this as lounging, which you and your wife don't seem to enjoy Honestly, considering what you've bolden above I can't imagine a single damn reason you'd ever want to go on a cruise at all. 

[kevwun 15129]

Yeah, you're gonna be bored as fuck on a cruise I think.  You'd be better off exploring the interior of Alaska on your own I think.  We went to Denali after our cruise this summer and it was so scenic that words can't really do it justice.

[Updawg 2236]

Just fly to the Virgin Islands

[Bill Brasky 1408]

On 9/13/2023 at 7:57 AM, Biff Tannen said:

Saw a Carnival docked in New Orleans this weekend. Looked like it hadn’t been cleaned or updated since the 80s. No thanks. 

you talking about the boat, or New Orleans? 

[Borachio 416]

Maybe I won’t be cruising in two weeks. 

https://cruiseindustrynews.com/cruise-news/2024/09/royal-caribbean-cancels-cruise-onboard-icon-of-the-seas/

[royiv 9043]

1 hour ago, Bill Brasky said:

you talking about the boat, or New Orleans? 

Or the passengers?

[CTC2 2607]

IMO, the only people who will enjoy a cruise are those who aren’t very discerning or care to experience something actually nice. If you enjoy going to Disney, you will enjoy a cruise. If you like going to Branson, you will enjoy a cruise. If you have ever eaten at a Bubba Gumps on vacation and enjoyed it, you will enjoy a cruise. 

[Mo Horn 8673]

2 minutes ago, CTC2 said:

IMO, the only people who will enjoy a cruise are those who aren’t very discerning or care to experience something actually nice. If you enjoy going to Disney, you will enjoy a cruise. If you like going to Branson, you will enjoy a cruise. If you have ever eaten at a Bubba Gumps on vacation and enjoyed it, you will enjoy a cruise. 

If you're talking about most cruise ships that are Walmart on the sea, I agree. We sail on high end cruises with small ships. It has food as good as any 5 star restaurant I've ever eaten at. On a sea day where everyone is on the ship you can get a chair right next to the pool. And service is as good as any 5 star hotel. It's all about what you pay for. We've traveled the world and are very discerning, but sometimes we enjoy a couple of weeks on a ship where we see some really great places that we don't want to spend a week at. 

[Doc Sam Beckett 5695]

22 hours ago, BamaATL said:

 

Additionally, neither of us do particularly well with just lounging around, and neither of us drink (we also don't gamble).  With that in mind, are we going to be bored to tears doing this?  

Jesus tap dancing Christ dude, why the fuck would you even consider a cruise? The only way to survive a cruise is to be absolutely hammered while trying to find the unicorn normal people ie gambling, broke ass club etc. 

[BamaATL 15679]

3 minutes ago, Doc Sam Beckett said:

Jesus tap dancing Christ dude, why the fuck would you even consider a cruise? The only way to survive a cruise is to be absolutely hammered while trying to find the unicorn normal people ie gambling, broke ass club etc. 

Have no fear, after weighing any potential positives, against the many potential negatives, we have elected to go to Japan instead (Remarkably for less money).  

[SydneyCarton 47055]

11 hours ago, BamaATL said:

Have no fear, after weighing any potential positives, against the many potential negatives, we have elected to go to Japan instead (Remarkably for less money).  

Landmark decision. Japan is motherfucking awesome. See if you can go during Cherry Blossom season. 

[Ghost of LL 15225]

12 hours ago, BamaATL said:

Have no fear, after weighing any potential positives, against the many potential negatives, we have elected to go to Japan instead (Remarkably for less money).  

This is the right decision, based on how you described yourself.

As to the butler, I think it varies very much by cruise line.  On Norwegian, the butler is a person who is going to deliver the room service and can work things out for you with restaurant reservations or shore excursions--kind of a concierge-type person.

On a more upscale cruise line (e.g., Silversea), the butlers are actually trained to be butlers.  That means they'll unpack your shit and put it in drawers or hanging in the closet when you arrive.  If you can't tie a fucking bowtie (I'm telling on myself here), they'll help you out getting dressed for a formal night.  If you need gifts for the office, they'll run into town during a stop and pick up a bunch of shit from a local shop (I might be telling on myself again).  If you have a question and you don't know whom else to ask (e.g., "I want caviar on the table here every evening at 5:30--is that doable?"), you ask the butler.  And the night before you leave, you can have the butler pack you up while you're at dinner (and they do it with very nice tissue paper--much better than I've ever packed myself).

[Chopper 15764]

14 hours ago, BamaATL said:

Have no fear, after weighing any potential positives, against the many potential negatives, we have elected to go to Japan instead (Remarkably for less money).  

Never thought I'd go on a cruise, for all the reasons Sydney mentioned earlier. But the wife and I are about to go around Japan with a stop in Busan, Korea too. On the same cruise line @Ghost of LL mentioned. We're not big drinkers, nor gamblers. The ship we're on doesn't have a casino, afaik. It has frequent ports of call, and excursions are included - can even go on one in the morning and one in the afternoon.  To my understanding there's nothing on board that requires extra payment except for spa visits (but the cruise price includes credit toward), some ultra-premium liquors, and if you require the more expensive caviar. They even have free, stocked laundry rooms on each deck, for the plebes like me. If you're in a higher-end suite, laundry service is included. Wifi is included but I may have to upgrade to premium if I want to stream the RRS in the middle of the night. I think we'll mostly use the butler for setting up morning coffee service on the veranda, and probably to indulge in caviar in the afternoon. I've heard the food is sensational, especially on the trips around Asia, as they base on the ports of call. It's definitely expensive enough to keep out the riff raff but whether that will be sufficient to exclude people who'll I'll find annoying af, or make them easy to avoid, is TBD. I expect this will be our only cruise - one and done. 

[TwiceHorn 30708]

I like the ocean.  I like ships and being on a ship. I could sit on a beach or any other surface with an ocean view for hours at a time, especially if I have a book to read.  That goes double for being on a moving vessel.

These are the reasons I enjoy cruises, from time to time.  If you are like me in these respects, you will like a cruise.

Thirty years ago, most cruises were expensive, staid affairs with reasonably well-to-do and older people on them and few kids.  The food was uniformly pretty good and the accomodations pretty luxurious, if small.

Now it seems like Carnival has taken over nearly everything (they actually almost have in terms of ownership) and cruises are mostly people of Walmart and their screaming spawn.  Norwegian and Royal Caribbean used to be closer to Cunard than Carnival.  That apparently no longer holds true.

Edited September 25 by TwiceHorn

[Chewbacca 7603]

3 hours ago, Ghost of LL said:

This is the right decision, based on how you described yourself.

As to the butler, I think it varies very much by cruise line.  On Norwegian, the butler is a person who is going to deliver the room service and can work things out for you with restaurant reservations or shore excursions--kind of a concierge-type person.

On a more upscale cruise line (e.g., Silversea), the butlers are actually trained to be butlers.  That means they'll unpack your shit and put it in drawers or hanging in the closet when you arrive.  If you can't tie a fucking bowtie (I'm telling on myself here), they'll help you out getting dressed for a formal night.  If you need gifts for the office, they'll run into town during a stop and pick up a bunch of shit from a local shop (I might be telling on myself again).  If you have a question and you don't know whom else to ask (e.g., "I want caviar on the table here every evening at 5:30--is that doable?"), you ask the butler.  And the night before you leave, you can have the butler pack you up while you're at dinner (and they do it with very nice tissue paper--much better than I've ever packed myself).

That sounds really nice.  Now I want a butler!

[Ghost of LL 15225]

2 hours ago, Chopper said:

Never thought I'd go on a cruise, for all the reasons Sydney mentioned earlier. But the wife and I are about to go around Japan with a stop in Busan, Korea too. On the same cruise line @Ghost of LL mentioned. We're not big drinkers, nor gamblers. The ship we're on doesn't have a casino, afaik. It has frequent ports of call, and excursions are included - can even go on one in the morning and one in the afternoon.  To my understanding there's nothing on board that requires extra payment except for spa visits (but the cruise price includes credit toward), some ultra-premium liquors, and if you require the more expensive caviar. They even have free, stocked laundry rooms on each deck, for the plebes like me. If you're in a higher-end suite, laundry service is included. Wifi is included but I may have to upgrade to premium if I want to stream the RRS in the middle of the night. I think we'll mostly use the butler for setting up morning coffee service on the veranda, and probably to indulge in caviar in the afternoon. I've heard the food is sensational, especially on the trips around Asia, as they base on the ports of call. It's definitely expensive enough to keep out the riff raff but whether that will be sufficient to exclude people who'll I'll find annoying af, or make them easy to avoid, is TBD. I expect this will be our only cruise - one and done. 

By the way, with your trip coming up you ought to call and see if they have any upgrades available.  With the upgraded suite, you get the premium wifi and free dry cleaning (as you noted).  And the free dry cleaning really helps cut down on how much you have to pack.

[Chopper 15764]

3 hours ago, Ghost of LL said:

By the way, with your trip coming up you ought to call and see if they have any upgrades available.  With the upgraded suite, you get the premium wifi and free dry cleaning (as you noted).  And the free dry cleaning really helps cut down on how much you have to pack.

Good idea. I'm booked in a deluxe veranda and (currently, anyway) the only upgrade available is for a "premium veranda." No change in amenities between the two, same amount of floor space and position in the ship, and I think I like the deluxe's floor plan better. I'll check again after this storm hits Florida, maybe there'll be a cancellation or two.

[Ghost of LL 15225]

17 minutes ago, Chopper said:

Good idea. I'm booked in a deluxe veranda and (currently, anyway) the only upgrade available is for a "premium veranda." No change in amenities between the two, same amount of floor space and position in the ship, and I think I like the deluxe's floor plan better. I'll check again after this storm hits Florida, maybe there'll be a cancellation or two.

Are you getting that from the website or from a sales person?  If the former, you ought to pick up the phone and call them—those guys work on commission, and they want to put you in this new Buick today.

[Chopper 15764]

On 9/25/2024 at 6:01 PM, Ghost of LL said:

Are you getting that from the website or from a sales person?  If the former, you ought to pick up the phone and call them—those guys work on commission, and they want to put you in this new Buick today.

I got on the phone and called this morning. Nothing available. Of course nobody was in their FL office today, and the call went to India or who knows where.  

[Chopper 15764]

Lived through my first cruise, a 14 day tour around the main island of Japan. It included a stop in Busan, apparently due to international maritime law requiring a 2-country itinerary in many countries. 

Ship: new and beautiful. Silverseas Nova, just one year old.

Best room: The fore of the 10th, top enclosed, level.

 

Everything about it was great, except the food, which was mediocre, despite it being a high-end luxury line. All rooms had a deck with comfortable patio furniture, which was a must have amenity, imo. The rooms were spacious and comfortable; even the water pressure and shower exceeded expectations. Another pleasant surprise: No annoying fellow passengers, in particular, nor as a mass. I'd say the nationality of the passengers was equally split among Americans, Brits, Aussies and Spanish. 

It was a cruise of Japan which both enhanced and detracted from the itinerary. We were able to visit beautiful, enticing, far-flung cities in a highly convenient and luxurious manner with a minimum of effort on our part. On the other hand, the food served onboard paled in comparison to what one can find in a Japanese food court, let alone at an expensive restaurant. The toilets on the mainland, even at most train stations and shopping malls, were also an upgrade over what was furnished on the ship, which was basically an ordinary commode; I didn't expect to think about planning my shitting schedule around shore excursions. IYKYK. The onboard entertainment was nothing I'd seek out on my own. On a cost per-day basis, one could easily travel Japan to the same or similar cities and save bundles. 

It was a unique and likely one-time experience. There were many cruise enthusiasts on board. I don't get the attraction unless one is mobility limited, or strongly against navigating airports and train stations on their own. Also I imagine certain itineraries are much more difficult to recreate without the benefit of a ship. However I'd prefer to visit fewer locales or simply stay in one place. Although as a way to "scout" Japan and see where I might want to return it was great.

 

Edited October 20 by Chopper

[Mo Horn 8673]

We're doing a Japan - China cruise next spring. We do Oceania, which is a small ship and the food is outstanding with no crowds at the pool. We love to travel a country on our own but this gives us the chance to see things like the Great Wall and not have to navigate a trip to China on our own. That's our cruise criteria. Go to places we don't want to hassle with doing on our own, which is only about 5% of the time. 

[ScottS 1035]

Hope none of you cruisers are booked on the Hanseatic Inspiration.

[Chopper 15764]

One of the other passengers, from Florida, mentioned she preferred her cruise on Oceania over the cruise we were on. Everyone had their own favorites, including some who'd been on a ton of Sliverseas cruises. I didn't hear of anyone else onboard who was a first-time cruiser. A handful of other passengers had been on the ship for about 6 months. I can't fathom.

The Silver Nova holds ~700 passengers, so not huge. Of the 5 at-sea days, there was only 1 sunny pool day as it was October, but it was also quite humid, so I didn't stay long. Also hanging out at a pool with a bunch of 70 and 80 year olds didn't entice. On the cooler days it was nice to be outdoors and listen to music or read. There was a ton of space, and the pool is supposedly one of the highlights of the SN because every lounger offers an ocean view. 

As my wife put it, the experience was underwhelming. If we wanted to eat filet mignon or pizza or grilled fish every night and dine al fresco on a beautiful, heated, wind-protected top deck in the middle of the ocean, we could have. But we were in Japan and as it was when we visited China and SE Asia, experiencing the country as some of the locals do -- especially the food -- is ordinarily a top priority. Except for the port where we stayed for 2 full days, we only got a glimmer of the different cities - we extended out own visit to see Tokyo and Kyoto more in-depth and that was generally the best part of the trip. We got talked into going on this cruise and I'm challenged to see a reason to try again. 

[gernblansten 3099]

12 hours ago, Chopper said:

Lived through my first cruise, a 14 day tour around the main island of Japan. It included a stop in Busan, apparently due to international maritime law requiring a 2-country itinerary in many countries. 

Smart move taking the ship, as it's my understanding you do not want to be anywhere near a Train to Busan.