Shark eats a dude (graphic)

[Goredho 17413]

[Mac8111 2114]

Crazy. Was t even sure it was real. Looked like that Ace Ventura scene.

[Born to Run 6569]

but I heard if you just bop a shark on the nose or gouge it's eyes, it will swim away....  The fuck it will, if it wants to eat you, you're done.  I imagine you may have a slightly better chance with diving gear on and seeing underwater but if you're just on the surface, good luck.  Your only hope is that you're a world class, fast swimmer and you get a head start before it rips a leg or torso off.

Erroneous.

Ain't no one swimming faster than a fucking shark. Many people have, however, fought back, eye gouged etc and saved thier lives.

[SurlyGator 869]

In my teens, our family was on vacation in Florida.  My dad and I were out in neck deep water in Daytona (I think) when we saw several people on shore pointing out to sea to our right.  We couldn't tell what they were pointing at, but were on alert.  In an instant, we were surrounded by LOTS (dozens at least) of what I always assumed were baby sharks, but it might have been some sort of small breed.  We both immediately started swimming for shore.  I will never forget feeling shark skin with every stroke for the first several strokes - definitely smooth and not scaly.  Knowing now that sharks don't give birth in large numbers, it was likely some small variation, but at the time I was terrified that Mommy Shark was nearby about to protect her young.

The fins were so small, there is no way that is what the people on shore were seeing.  Maybe something was hunting them, or there was enough of them to change the water color, etc.  Who knows, but it got our attention pretty quick!

[Underdog 28766]

17 hours ago, Deej said:

Like a feedbag. 

[Surly Bevo 25132]

The fastest ever recorded human swimmer was doing ~5.3mph.  Sharks CRUISE at about 5mph, attack at 10-15mph and some can do higher crazier shit in short bursts.  You could be Michael Phelps in his prime and if it wanted you....it has you.  

[MissingInAction 25167]

5 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

 

Looks Ike I'll have my Shockwave strapped to my back during beach walks.

[Pato del Muerto 52558]

 

[ChiTownDoc 21154]

On 6/9/2023 at 12:19 PM, 'stache said:

That second video they seem like they're mad at the shark. WTF do you think they gonna do? It's not their fault. If they want to catch it, should be to avoid it eating someone else, not to be mad about a shark being a shark.

Prob have young kids at home.  Can’t blame ‘em.  

[Smax 3800]

And there is stuff like this

 

 

[South Austin 52561]

Big fat fucking nope.

[FartingDreamer 138]

This one was worse.  Last year, a British man swimming down in Australia filmed getting taken/eaten by a great white shark.  This video doesn't show the first half (pardon the pun) of the attack but shows a legless, armless torso floating in the water before the shark comes back to take it.  Later they found only 1/3rd of this body, the shark probably took a couple more sections at the end of this video.   Parts 1 and 2 linked.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUhdHQlUJi0

[HenryJames 66157]

Fuck was he swimming there?

[InkaUtexas 26049]

2 hours ago, Smax said:

And there is stuff like this

 

 

Fuck that. That shark could eat the boat. 

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

The fastest ever recorded human swimmer was doing ~5.3mph.  Sharks CRUISE at about 5mph, attack at 10-15mph and some can do higher crazier shit in short bursts.  You could be Michael Phelps in his prime and if it wanted you....it has you.  

Phelps almost beat a great white

[atomheartbevo 89777]

On 6/10/2023 at 11:05 AM, SurlyGator said:

I will never forget feeling shark skin with every stroke for the first several strokes - definitely smooth and not scaly.

Most people would not dare try and fuck a shark, so my hat's off to you.

[mchookem 16365]

3 hours ago, Smax said:

And there is stuff like this

 

 

she's got to be pregnant😮

shark, not diver.

[FartingDreamer 138]

1 hour ago, mchookem said:

she's got to be pregnant😮

shark, not diver.

I know what I'm getting her for Christmas....  I'm getting her pregnant...... (the diver, not the shark).

[Deej 76893]

4 hours ago, FartingDreamer said:

but shows a legless, armless torso floating in the water

Bob?

[FartingDreamer 138]

14 minutes ago, Deej said:

Bob?

Want to know of the names of his hapless paralyzed cousins Matt, Bill, and Stew?

Edited June 11, 2023 by FartingDreamer

[TonyTexas 10521]

Still waiting on @futureman to come in saying he could kick that shark’s ass

[Underdog 28766]

Was expecting some Alex Kitner boy level gore in OP video. 

Was expecting some Alex Kitner boy level gore in OP video. 

[PRONG HORN 3150]

5 hours ago, HenryJames said:

Fuck was he swimming there?

 

The same reason Surly people choose to go to Mexico.  They know it's a gamble, but just can't help themselves.  It will always happen to the other guy.  

 

 

[Schulz2.0 29006]

6 hours ago, FartingDreamer said:

This one was worse.  Last year, a British man swimming down in Australia filmed getting taken/eaten by a great white shark.  This video doesn't show the first half (pardon the pun) of the attack but shows a legless, armless torso floating in the water before the shark comes back to take it.  Later they found only 1/3rd of this body, the shark probably took a couple more sections at the end of this video.   Parts 1 and 2 linked.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUhdHQlUJi0

Dude was a RAF gunner that did two tours in Afghanistan. 

[Guest]

28 minutes ago, Schulz2.0 said:

Dude was a RAF gunner that did two tours in Afghanistan. 

didn't do much swimming there, now did he???

[Bevo 13596]

I ate salmon tonight so this hits close to home. Man eats fish. Fish eats man. It's the circle of life.

[SurlyBDR 22827]

2 hours ago, TonyTexas said:

Still waiting on @futureman to come in saying he could kick that shark’s ass

Together, he and Mike B would manhandle that beta shark 

[futureman 22521]

wouldn’t even need to manhandle it.  I’d pop that bitch in the nose one time, hard, and it would swim away.  light work. 

[ballrific 215]

Phelps almost beat a great white

I tried to tell people this....with a head start, there's a "chance". Fat surly with head start? No chance

[Pato del Muerto 52558]

56 minutes ago, Bevo said:

I ate salmon tonight so this hits close to home. Man eats fish. Fish eats man. It's the circle of life.

Salmon shark is smaller cousin of white shark. 

[FartingDreamer 138]

4 hours ago, Bevo said:

I ate salmon tonight so this hits close to home. Man eats fish. Fish eats man. It's the circle of life.

Your circle is incomplete, it's missing antelope and grass.

[Lat22 4014]

[sidis 9832]

On 6/11/2023 at 12:50 PM, Smax said:

And there is stuff like this

 

 

is that ferdinand the shark?

what the ever loving fuck?

[Dennis Taylor 18852]

On 6/9/2023 at 6:21 PM, DDD Dad said:

Law school buddy of mine got bitten by a shark several years back while spear fishing. /csb

I heard that doesn't happen out of professional courtesy 

[PRONG HORN 3150]

10 hours ago, sidis said:

is that ferdinand the shark?

what the ever loving fuck?

 

When she eat, she not chill

When she chill, she not eat

 

 

[mulletpelini 5215]

On 6/9/2023 at 5:45 PM, Not a cat said:

Terrible ways to die thread is that way.

My mother's college roommate was on her honeymoon snorkeling with her new husband when a shark came out of nowhere and took him away.  I remember hearing that story as a kid and vowing to stay the hell out of the ocean.

the lesson was to not get married you big dummy

[Not a cat 5683]

17 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

the lesson was to not get married you big dummy

I learned that lesson but much later, unfortunately.

[ballrific 215]

Going to Florida next week..plan on outswimming a shark. Then challenging a chimpanzee to hand to hand combat...but in the water, not on its own turf. Will finish the adventure by beating up malaria.

[Pato del Muerto 52558]

9 minutes ago, ballrific said:

Will finish the adventure by beating up malaria.

Are you staying in mar a lago or will you have to travel there?

[Gatorubet 30286]

4 hours ago, ballrific said:

Going to Florida next week..plan on outswimming a shark. Then challenging a chimpanzee to hand to hand combat...but in the water, not on its own turf. Will finish the adventure by beating up malaria.

In 2022 Florida reported 68 local Dengue cases, mostly from Miami-Dade County. 

Fortunately, Dengue is very mild.  You’ll do fine. 

[atomheartbevo 89777]

11 minutes ago, Gatorubet said:

In 2022 Florida reported 68 local Dengue cases, mostly from Miami-Dade County. 

Fortunately, Dengue is very mild.  You’ll do fine. 

It's not that mild, it can make you type in a larger font for years after you get it.

[LonghornSean 4020]

On 6/11/2023 at 7:32 PM, Underdog said:

Was expecting some Alex Kitner boy level gore in OP video. 

Was expecting some Alex Kitner boy level gore in OP video. 

From the vid, this attack was more reminiscent of Chrissy Watkins IMO

[Mez2 4025]

On 6/11/2023 at 7:32 PM, Underdog said:

Was expecting some Alex Kitner boy level gore in OP video. 

Was expecting some Alex Kitner boy level gore in OP video. 

I'ma go get the papers, get the papers

[Gatorubet 30286]

4 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

It's not that mild, it can make you type in a larger font for years after you get it.

[Samson's Wig 3194]

On 6/9/2023 at 7:05 PM, closetohumping said:

I doubt even Greg Louganis can put swim a shark.   Your only hope is swimming faster than your buddy in the waters with you 

Little known fact: most divers are terrible swimmers.  Have you noticed how quickly they skedaddle to the side of the pool after a dive? It's because they're scared shitless of drowning.   It's kind of like track and field athletes who do shotput or discus.  Ask them to run a lap and they'll laugh at you.  I'll bet Louganis could out-dive any shark alive, though.

[Underdog 28766]

2 hours ago, Samson's Wig said:

Little known fact: most divers are terrible swimmers.  Have you noticed how quickly they skedaddle to the side of the pool after a dive? It's because they're scared shitless of drowning.   It's kind of like track and field athletes who do shotput or discus.  Ask them to run a lap and they'll laugh at you.  I'll bet Louganis could out-dive any shark alive, though.

https://news.yahoo.com/ill-shot-belgian-becomes-instant-195141006.html
 

[rage-a-holic 4448]

On 6/11/2023 at 11:50 AM, Smax said:

And there is stuff like this

 

 

She is such a stupid cunt. She's a delusional narcissist that likes to think she's "helping".

[Bobby_Batronic 1994]

Here lie the remains of Vladimir Propov. Died at 23 when a tiger shark bit his top off. He preferred swimming in high salinity. Not a wise move in this vicinity. 

Edited July 2, 2023 by Bobby_Batronic

[Underdog 28766]

Anyone remember the Burt Reynolds film SHARK? Was aka under Maneater and something else, legend is a stuntman was killed by a GWS on film that got through protective netting and footage was used in the film... 

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0066365/mediaviewer/rm3139221249?ref_=ttmi_mi_all_pos_18

 

[bolverk 29708]

Yikes