Tourist Trip to Titanic Terribly Turns Tragic

[Homesickhorn 2,217]

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
A tale of a tragic trip.
that started from the Polar Prince onto this janky Titan shit.
their pilot was a well known French dude.
the owner was a foolhardy stooge.
5 mission experts went under Sunday 
for what was a four plus hour tour
But one hour and forty five minutes in 
the tiny sub was lost.
if not for the courage of the surly crew all gallows humor would be lost. All gallows humor would be lost.
 
The sub imploded less than 2 hours in and no one but the Navy seemed to know.
Now there’s nothing left  of them but a small debris field of tiny junk.
less one thousand yards away from the unsinkable Titanic they found their final resting place.
In one catastrophic millisecond their bodies were squashed like grapes! 
 
Does that cover it? 

I’ve said this before; Marry me.

[Homesickhorn 2,217]

Or maybe there were supposed to be 18 bolts on the hatch instead of 17.

SIAP

[ztejas 44,224]

24 minutes ago, Homesickhorn said:

I’ve said this before; Marry me.

Nicole would ruin you. She's a goddess amongst little girls. 

[Homesickhorn 2,217]

Lazlo 

Uncle Rico, to the less dated.

[52-80 19,377]

9 hours ago, Rimbo said:

1. you think this thing had a faraday cage, when it depends upon wireless communication with the surface? or given anything about how it was built?

2. you're forgetting one of the most common forms of RF blocking -- large, mobile bags of water, of which this sub had 5

Brah besides the fact that it was a joke, antennas are usually mounted on the exterior of the (titanium) vessel

[G650 14,437]

5 hours ago, Wade said:

Bro used discounted expired carbon fiber, too.

 

 

Holy shit, dude used expired pre preg. Lmaoooo

[HenryJames 67,326]

 

[Goredho 17,650]

20 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

So, the youngest occupant was Suleman Dawood, a university student at Strathclyde, just up the road from where my son is in school in Glasgow.  So last night, I came up with a pitch that I'm going to suggest to him.

Head to a pub near the university.  Sit at the bar, drinking, looking forlorn, periodically looking down with his head in his hands.  Maybe even muster up some tears.  He's a young, good looking guy....so when some girl decides to come over and ask "what's wrong?", you give her the spiel: "I'm sorry....I just....I can't believe he's gone.  My friend Suleman was on the submersible that was lost over the Titanic.  He was such a good guy, and now he's gone.  I just...I can't...." and then when she interrupts to tell you how awful it is, you hit her with the "I came here to be alone with my thoughts....but now I'm thinking I shouldn't be alone right now."

In other words....run the old Fawn Leibowitz on em!  It's guaranteed to work!

@Pescado_Rojo beat me.

Edited June 24, 2023 by Goredho

[blacklab 12,064]

6 hours ago, FartingMonk said:

Me and my buddies get together every year and sometimes we just laugh at how a bunch of drunk 20 year olds were able to keep a submarine going.  It always starts with you remember that time we were in Hawaii and we had to do an emergency reactor startup and the Eng asked who smelled like tequila and you said Eng can I get to the Point of Added Heat before I get relieved as Reactor Operator

A few months before I got on the Baton Rouge they pulled into some shithole in the Caribbean. 2/3 of the crew were off the boat getting drunk when a storm approached that the captain decided he'd rather be under the ocean for rather than tied up to a shitty pier. So they ran around the island getting everyone, missed several and got ready to head out. Watch stations were determined in a "how much have you drank" draft. How much have you had? 3 beers? take AEA. 8 long island iced teas? go to bed. 7 beers? phone talker in maneuvering. 

[Goredho 17,650]

My only regret is that these imploding billionaires have but one life to give this thread.

[Fudge Nuggets 19,453]

20 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

So, the youngest occupant was Suleman Dawood, a university student at Strathclyde, just up the road from where my son is in school in Glasgow.  So last night, I came up with a pitch that I'm going to suggest to him.

Head to a pub near the university.  Sit at the bar, drinking, looking forlorn, periodically looking down with his head in his hands.  Maybe even muster up some tears.  He's a young, good looking guy....so when some girl decides to come over and ask "what's wrong?", you give her the spiel: "I'm sorry....I just....I can't believe he's gone.  My friend Suleman was on the submersible that was lost over the Titanic.  He was such a good guy, and now he's gone.  I just...I can't...." and then when she interrupts to tell you how awful it is, you hit her with the "I came here to be alone with my thoughts....but now I'm thinking I shouldn't be alone right now."

In other words....run the old Fawn Leibowitz on em!  It's guaranteed to work!

What happens when he starts in on his tale, “I guess you are like everyone else in the world and know about the lost submarine, right?”. And young lass, fresh from the Scot version of surly comes back with, “Aye, funny shit ‘dat. Been weein’ me knickers all fookin’ week.”

Boy better have a backup plan. 

19 hours ago, RPM said:

I was on one doing fisheries patrols in the Bering Sea. We had a Seal Team on from time to time but they were called Marine Biologists and their Lab was locked tighter than CIC.

Fisheries, serious bidness. 

[FartingMonk 3,614]

53 minutes ago, blacklab said:

A few months before I got on the Baton Rouge they pulled into some shithole in the Caribbean. 2/3 of the crew were off the boat getting drunk when a storm approached that the captain decided he'd rather be under the ocean for rather than tied up to a shitty pier. So they ran around the island getting everyone, missed several and got ready to head out. Watch stations were determined in a "how much have you drank" draft. How much have you had? 3 beers? take AEA. 8 long island iced teas? go to bed. 7 beers? phone talker in maneuvering. 

Our Guam startups always involved people puking in trash cans especially when bringing in steam and the engine room begins to heat up

[Hermanator 7,659]

When you allow yourself to succumb to rich man's overindulgence you achieve a level of boredom that leads to idiocy like diving to the ocean floor in expired carbon fiber. 

[deadshank 24,654]

[Nicole44 22,306]

This is pretty damn incredible and worthy of this thread. It was taken in 1979.

Edited June 24, 2023 by Nicole44

[MNLonghornFUKM 8,976]

This crazy fucker goes on mission 3. The implosion was mission 5 so this was a few weeks ago. Goes in depth on what happens pre dive and what it looks like being bolted in.


Hell to the fucking nah. What happens if they have have to scrub the mission, refunds all around?

How did that nerd and his gf have 500K saved up for this?


And what in the hell is the ceo asking if any riders want to help repair the ship?

[NAVY 6,969]

9 hours ago, blacklab said:

A few months before I got on the Baton Rouge they pulled into some shithole in the Caribbean. 2/3 of the crew were off the boat getting drunk when a storm approached that the captain decided he'd rather be under the ocean for rather than tied up to a shitty pier. So they ran around the island getting everyone, missed several and got ready to head out. Watch stations were determined in a "how much have you drank" draft. How much have you had? 3 beers? take AEA. 8 long island iced teas? go to bed. 7 beers? phone talker in maneuvering. 

Have also gotten underway too quick. All hands announcement: there will be zero maintenance today. None. Don’t wreck our shit and sober up you wonderful savages 

 

[thunderlounge 8,407]

We got kicked out of Rosie Rhoads one time. Not a fun sea and anchor. For anyone. When beer on the pier starts at 0900, it’s going to be a lonnnng day. 

[EuroHorn 3,295]

41 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

 

 

This crazy fucker goes on mission 3. The implosion was mission 5 so this was a few weeks ago. Goes in depth on what happens pre dive and what it looks like being bolted in.


Hell to the fucking nah. What happens if they have have to scrub the mission, refunds all around?

How did that nerd and his gf have 500K saved up for this?


And what in the hell is the ceo asking if any riders want to help repair the ship?

 

I bet he didn’t pay for it. He has 13.5 million followers on his YouTube channel 

[YGIFS 19,458]

Forbes Owner, "Alright, time to compile our annual billionaire's list.  (checks list).  Wait, these four guys are dead."

Editor, "Well cross them off then." 

[atomheartbevo 90,638]

[butthurt 1,568]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/Ct0XNLVJdqm/?igshid=MjAxZDBhZDhlNA==

 

[Rimbo 27,003]

36 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

i have some news for you

[deadshank 24,654]

[Horn Dogg 4,290]

[Al Bundy's Napoleon Hand 13,624]

Shoulda pushed a button

 

[gofuckyourself 9,078]

5 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

 

 

This crazy fucker goes on mission 3. The implosion was mission 5 so this was a few weeks ago. Goes in depth on what happens pre dive and what it looks like being bolted in.


Hell to the fucking nah. What happens if they have have to scrub the mission, refunds all around?

How did that nerd and his gf have 500K saved up for this?


And what in the hell is the ceo asking if any riders want to help repair the ship?

 

I've joked throughout this whole thread, but this sheds light on the biggest joke of all.

I'm 15 minutes into this video and they're not just asking for anyone to "come help," but actually letting passengers throw rope around and be right where the multi-million dollar submersible is approaching the main boat.

This random dude's girlfriend? Being told what to do because she's clueless. An actual, presumably speaking, trained crew member has to scramble around Doofus McYouTuber to, you know, actually throw a rope down to the sub to get it aligned and do their jobs.

That's the professional and competence you want to see.

And speaking of, Mr. CEO casually mentioning that components aren't communicating and connections are lost but they've lasted a few years, so who knows.

It's like watching a ghost -- a very ignorant, arrogant and unaware ghost -- predict his own death.

And naturally Doofus McYouTuber ultimately learned the lesson that "life is precious and can go away quickly." But not any lessons about respecting safety, proper training, preparedness, basic competence, intelligence, common sense, etc ad infinitum.

Fuck these idiots and their massive waste of resources and funds.

[InkaUtexas 26,860]

57 minutes ago, gofuckyourself said:

I've joked throughout this whole thread, but this sheds light on the biggest joke of all.

I'm 15 minutes into this video and they're not just asking for anyone to "come help," but actually letting passengers throw rope around and be right where the multi-million dollar submersible is approaching the main boat.

This random dude's girlfriend? Being told what to do because she's clueless. An actual, presumably speaking, trained crew member has to scramble around Doofus McYouTuber to, you know, actually throw a rope down to the sub to get it aligned and do their jobs.

That's the professional and competence you want to see.

And speaking of, Mr. CEO casually mentioning that components aren't communicating and connections are lost but they've lasted a few years, so who knows.

It's like watching a ghost -- a very ignorant, arrogant and unaware ghost -- predict his own death.

And naturally Doofus McYouTuber ultimately learned the lesson that "life is precious and can go away quickly." But not any lessons about respecting safety, proper training, preparedness, basic competence, intelligence, common sense, etc ad infinitum.

Fuck these idiots and their massive waste of resources and funds.

Dude seems like an asshole and Kindle is not cute. Fuck em. 

[Hermanator 7,659]

These people are/were very stupid. 

The YouTube kid makes a ton of money from it since he's garnered millions of subs. But with that comes the pressure of constantly having to provide content to keep those millions coming back. Over and over again. It never ends. 

My oldest daughter has a channel with about 350k subs and there's definitely money to be made there. But I've seen first hand how YouTube forces content creators to constantly churn out content or else be punished greatly. If you take as little as 1-2 weeks off from posting content their algorithm is set up to not push your videos and you'll lose subs. It's like a digital shock collar. It's why these people are constantly putting out garbage just to try to stay ahead of the punishment. 

[totallynotabuttpirate 5,484]

7 hours ago, Hermanator said:

My oldest daughter has a channel with about 350k subs and there's definitely money to be made there. 

Pics?

[Rimbo 27,003]

https://hachyderm.io/@molly0xfff/110602268058778563

[Deej 77,808]

3 hours ago, totallynotabuttpirate said:

Pics?

That requires a subscription.

[Jkwellborn 7,032]

That requires a subscription.

We’ve got a thread for that elsewhere.

[EuroHorn 3,295]

4 hours ago, totallynotabuttpirate said:

Pics?

She only shows her feet. 

[SquishMitten 10,496]

On 6/24/2023 at 8:02 AM, blacklab said:

A few months before I got on the Baton Rouge they pulled into some shithole in the Caribbean. 2/3 of the crew were off the boat getting drunk when a storm approached that the captain decided he'd rather be under the ocean for rather than tied up to a shitty pier. So they ran around the island getting everyone, missed several and got ready to head out. Watch stations were determined in a "how much have you drank" draft. How much have you had? 3 beers? take AEA. 8 long island iced teas? go to bed. 7 beers? phone talker in maneuvering. 

What happens to guys that didn’t get the memo? They eventually stumble back, realize they’ve been left behind, then promptly shit their pants thinking they’re in a world of trouble?

[Sandman 3,430]

On 6/24/2023 at 12:15 AM, dcbc said:

Matt Groening is proof that not all rich people achieve that status through evil.

You sure about that?

https://www.cbr.com/matt-groening-epstein-deposition-foot-massage/

 

[blacklab 12,064]

50 minutes ago, SquishMitten said:

What happens to guys that didn’t get the memo? They eventually stumble back, realize they’ve been left behind, then promptly shit their pants thinking they’re in a world of trouble?

They came and picked them up a day later

[ClubWhatever 12,284]

So did the thing get pinched in like a hand crushing the middle of a soda can or flattened like a foot stepping on the end of a soda can?  I read that the tube pieces were bunched up inside one of the domes so I am going with crushed end to end like being stepped on.  

[McCroskey 1,510]

So did the thing get pinched in like a hand crushing the middle of a soda can or flattened like a foot stepping on the end of a soda can?  I read that the tube pieces were bunched up inside one of the domes so I am going with crushed end to end like being stepped on.  

I would say something in between either of these versions.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8,976]

And then somethin something about the surface of the sun involved once implosion begins

[dcbc 14,644]

4 hours ago, Sandman said:

You sure about that?

https://www.cbr.com/matt-groening-epstein-deposition-foot-massage/

 

[Okie State 3,889]

Fuck this made me laugh way too hard.

[Captainant 28,517]

Lol my YouTube recommendations are on point: in case you were curious what an implosion may look like:

It's around 6:40 in the video, and the failure is at a relative "depth" of a mile in his test rig. 

I saw on the news they found the endcap to the sub 1600 meters away from the Titanic, I wonder if it got yeeted off during the implosion 

 

Edited June 26, 2023 by Captainant

[Rimbo 27,003]

"Stockton hasn't posted lately." Naw, ya think?

[General Specific 3,507]

Well considering all the negative press, he got a little hot under the collar, and may feel a little flat right now. I’m sure once he regenerates, he will surface and start posting again!

[Deej 77,808]

15 minutes ago, General Specific said:

Well considering all the negative press, he got a little hot under the collar, and may feel a little flat right now. I’m sure once he regenerates, he will surface and start posting again!

I can't fathom him posting again. 

[ConferenceRoom 6,214]

1 hour ago, Captainant said:

Lol my YouTube recommendations are on point: in case you were curious what an implosion may look like:

It's around 6:40 in the video, and the failure is at a relative "depth" of a mile in his test rig. 

I saw on the news they found the endcap to the sub 1600 meters away from the Titanic, I wonder if it got yeeted off during the implosion 

 

I love NoHo Hank. 

[closetohumping 17,804]

[Wally Fairway 5,674]

Christ people give it a rest - this thread has lasted to long; longer than the dive, longer than the search. We all should just be waiting around for the next great castasto-mystery, while loading our memes

 

[Wally Fairway 5,674]