September 1st: Texans, Fire Up Your VPNs, or Present Your Government-Issued ID to View Porn Online

[Biff Tannen 45578]

13 minutes ago, South Austin said:

So for the last night of free online porn without fear of government intrusion, I'm thinking of either Cambodian midget lesbians, Egyptian stepmothers, or Pregnant German masseuses.  What's in your queues?  And any special dinner plans?

Someone hasn't read the thread

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

"Pugh went on to question: “Why are you so scared of breasts?”

There are A LOT of people in this country that get offended by women breastfeeding in public. Fucking absurd.

[Brisketexan 104792]

Just now, Biff Tannen said:

Someone hasn't read the thread

No, I looked pretty carefully.  SA's post is the first time Cambodian midget lesbians are even mentioned, which is super weird.  Usually, that comes up by the 3rd or 4th post of pretty much every thread, regardless of topic.

Must be a glitch on the servers or something.

[Bill Lumbergh 7171]

3 hours ago, Deej said:

@NowThis is probably celebrating at the moment.  

The guy has been shamed enough already.

No need to try to knock him down another peg.

[Biff Tannen 45578]

3 minutes ago, Bill Lumbergh said:

The guy has been shamed enough already.

No need to try to knock him down another peg.

[Surly Bevo 24871]

We joke about NowThis (as we should) but that is the perfect example of what could happen with a data breach, etc.   Dude was just a little sad about Kobe, needed something to fill the void, and it ruined his life....at least the one on Surly.  

Edited August 31, 2023 by Surly Bevo

[Deej 76643]

Just now, Surly Bevo said:

We joke about NowThis (as we should) but that is the perfect example of what could happen with a data breach, etc.   Dude was just a little sad about Kobe and it ruined his life....at least the one on Surly.  

He did enjoy the black mamba. 

[Brisketexan 104792]

2 minutes ago, Surly Bevo said:

We joke about NowThis (as we should) but that is the perfect example of what could happen with a data breach, etc.   Dude was just a little sad about Kobe, needed something to fill the void, and it ruined his life....at least the one on Surly.  

I still maintain that he took the coward's way out.

The proper, manly, Surly way of handling that inadvertent disclosure of his kink would have been "Fuck it, I'm a man, and I like what I like."

Respek.

[Surly Bevo 24871]

5 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

I still maintain that he took the coward's way out.

The proper, manly, Surly way of handling that inadvertent disclosure of his kink would have been "Fuck it, I'm a man, and I like what I like."

Respek.

On the one hand I agree.  On the other hand i will still take an occasional potshot at GhostofTomJoad when he appears just for admitting over a decade ago that he stood in line for Twilight instead of going to a Texas football game.  

But hey, that's life in the NFL

Edited August 31, 2023 by Surly Bevo

[Brisketexan 104792]

2 minutes ago, Surly Bevo said:

On the one hand I agree.  On the other hand i will still take an occasional potshot at GhostofTomJoad when he appears just for admitting over a decade ago that he stood in line for Twilight instead of going to a Texas football game.  

But hey, that's life in the NFL

If you're a man of a certain age WITHOUT certain embarrassing shit to own, then you ain't lived.  Don't be a pussy.  Be the kind of guy who says "you're gotdamn right I sleep on satin sheets, I like the cool slippery feeling, what's it to ya?"

I mean, not ME, of course.  I sleep on rough burlap, like a real man.

[South Austin 52210]

14 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

The proper, manly, Surly way of handling that inadvertent disclosure of his kink would have been "Fuck it, I'm a man, and I like what I like."

Sounds like a guy who's warming up the crowd for a revelation that he's into being pegged.

[atomheartbevo 89505]

20 minutes ago, Surly Bevo said:

We joke about NowThis (as we should) but that is the perfect example of what could happen with a data breach, etc.   Dude was just a little sad about Kobe, needed something to fill the void, and it ruined his life....at least the one on Surly.  

Yeah, data breaches ain't no laughing matter - I had setup a profile on AshleyMadison when it was breached, and I thought my neighbor's wife was going to divorce him as a result, because she did not believe him when he said that he had never heard of the site and wanted to know why his name showed up in in the released files.  I felt kind of bad, but don't be a dick about your dog shitting in somebody else's yard, and maybe they won't use your name and information to setup a profile on a dating website.

[Brisketexan 104792]

9 minutes ago, South Austin said:

Sounds like a guy who's warming lubing up the crowd for a revelation that he's into being pegged.

FIF......reasons.

[South Austin 52210]

5 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

I had setup a profile on AshleyMadison when it was breached, and I thought my neighbor's wife was going to divorce him as a result, because she did not believe him when he said that he had never heard of the site and wanted to know why his name showed up in in the released files.  I felt kind of bad, but don't be a dick about your dog shitting in somebody else's yard, and maybe they won't use your name and information to setup a profile on a dating website.

 

If I'm reading this correctly, your neighbor's dog pooped in your yard, and he may not have been contrite about it.  In return, you use his name, and possibly other identifying information, to set up an account on a website used to facilitate extramarital affairs, at a time when that website had suffered a widely known security breach.

Is that right?

Edited August 31, 2023 by South Austin

[deft 6808]

Yeah, data breaches ain't no laughing matter - I had setup a profile on AshleyMadison when it was breached, and I thought my neighbor's wife was going to divorce him as a result, because she did not believe him when he said that he had never heard of the site and wanted to know why his name showed up in in the released files.  I felt kind of bad, but don't be a dick about your dog shitting in somebody else's yard, and maybe they won't use your name and information to setup a profile on a dating website.

Fucking ruthless. I love it.

[atomheartbevo 89505]

4 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Cool -- the opinion actually cites one of my old cases.  Glad to make some good and useful law every now and then.

Just want to say again, thank you.

I knew you were an okay guy as evidenced by our shared restraining orders and obsessions interests in Susanna Hoffs and Sela Ward, but again, thank you.

Sure, we have plenty of celebrities on Surly, but nobody else has helped to defeat a Texas law trying to restrict pornography, and if we met in a bar, I'd buy you a drink and make sure that everybody in the bar knew that you helped contribute to the unfettered access to pornography by Texans of all ages.

[Brisketexan 104792]

7 minutes ago, South Austin said:

 

If I'm reading this correctly, your neighbor's dog pooped in your yard, and he may not have been contrite about it.  In return, you use his name, and possibly other identifying information, to set up an account on a website used to facilitate extramarital affairs, at a time when that website had suffered a widely known security breach.

Is that right?

 

7 minutes ago, deft said:

Fucking ruthless. I love it.

THIS.

Atomheart plays for keeps.  Let the record reflect that fact.

[Deej 76643]

8 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

Just want to say again, thank you.

I knew you were an okay guy as evidenced by our shared restraining orders and obsessions interests in Susanna Hoffs and Sela Ward, but again, thank you.

Sure, we have plenty of celebrities on Surly, but nobody else has helped to defeat a Texas law trying to restrict pornography, and if we met in a bar, I'd buy you a drink and make sure that everybody in the bar knew that you helped contribute to the unfettered access to pornography by Texans of all ages.

"Could everybody settle down for a second? Let's all raise a glass to this man here, Brisketexan who enjoys watching porn so much that he helped defeat the ID law."

[Brisketexan 104792]

Just now, Deej said:

"Could everybody settle down for a second? Let's all raise a glass to this man here, Brisketexan who enjoys watching porn so much that he helped defeat the ID law."

Yeah, man....I just made some law on a boring sub-issue (law on a case that actually turned out the other way than the issue here, but clearly defined the test that was properly applied here).

But, I mean, if y'all want to have a happy hour and hand out copies of Hustler as party favors to the crowd.....fuck it, I'm in.

[Dahobbs 17498]

18 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

Yeah, data breaches ain't no laughing matter - I had setup a profile on AshleyMadison when it was breached, and I thought my neighbor's wife was going to divorce him as a result, because she did not believe him when he said that he had never heard of the site and wanted to know why his name showed up in in the released files.  I felt kind of bad, but don't be a dick about your dog shitting in somebody else's yard, and maybe they won't use your name and information to setup a profile on a dating website.

You know, I've always said you're a swell guy. You know that, right? Right?

[Deej 76643]

1 minute ago, Brisketexan said:

Yeah, man....I just made some law on a boring sub-issue (law on a case that actually turned out the other way than the issue here, but clearly defined the test that was properly applied here).

But, I mean, if y'all want to have a happy hour and hand out copies of Hustler as party favors to the crowd.....fuck it, I'm in.

We can just stream PornHub on the bar tvs. 

[Brisketexan 104792]

Just now, Deej said:

We can just stream PornHub on the bar tvs. 

Yes we can.  Because 

[Chad Fuck 17593]

I still maintain that he took the coward's way out.
The proper, manly, Surly way of handling that inadvertent disclosure of his kink would have been "Fuck it, I'm a man, and I like what I like."
Respek.

This is the way.

[Pescado_Rojo 19346]

18 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

If you're a man of a certain age WITHOUT certain embarrassing shit to own, then you ain't lived.  Don't be a pussy.  Be the kind of guy who says "you're gotdamn right I sleep on satin sheets, I like the cool slippery feeling, what's it to ya?"

I mean, not ME, of course.  I sleep on rough burlap, like a real man.

Back before you could swipe right on an app and meet up and bang, you had to go places to meet women. Sometimes those places were lame, or you had to do lame shit to get her to like you enough to sleep with you. As Gus McCrae once said "A man that won't go to feminist open mike night at Quack's for a poke don't want one bad enough". 

[Genco 3040]

1 hour ago, Patricio Swayze said:

There are A LOT of people in this country that get offended by women breastfeeding in public. Fucking absurd.

As well as the men masturbating nearby. Thanks a lot bin laden.

[Brisketexan 104792]

4 minutes ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

Back before you could swipe right on an app and meet up and bang, you had to go places to meet women. Sometimes those places were lame, or you had to do lame shit to get her to like you enough to sleep with you. As Gus McCrae once said "A man that won't go to feminist open mike night at Quack's for a poke don't want one bad enough". 

Co-sign.

From a guy who spent an entire evening in a gal's apartment drinking box chablis and listening to the entire Carpenter's Greatest Hits album played all the way through....twice.

[ztejas 43383]

3 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Co-sign.

From a guy who spent an entire evening in a gal's apartment drinking box chablis and listening to the entire Carpenter's Greatest Hits album played all the way through....twice.

Dear God. I hope you were on a serious dry spell.

[SubliminalHorn 6731]

59 minutes ago, Surly Bevo said:

On the one hand I agree.  On the other hand i will still take an occasional potshot at GhostofTomJoad when he appears just for admitting over a decade ago that he stood in line for Twilight instead of going to a Texas football game.  

But hey, that's life in the NFL

Can’t believe I still remember that post lol

[Brisketexan 104792]

5 minutes ago, ztejas said:

Dear God. I hope you were on a serious dry spell.

It was a rough semester.  Brisket's dignity took a rather vicious beating that semester.

[MissingInAction 24870]

1 hour ago, Surly Bevo said:

We joke about NowThis (as we should) but that is the perfect example of what could happen with a data breach, etc.   Dude was just a little sad about Kobe, needed something to fill the void, and it ruined his life....at least the one on Surly.  

That guy would be a fucking hero to return here, and be an honored guest at every Surly function. 

@NowThis

You're the hero we deserve and need. 

[safe sex 11688]

Surly (and the world) would probably be a better place if more of y'all would just let yourselves be pegged like you're dying to be, but can't admit to it. Ask your wives; they'd probably be down.

[Chad Fuck 17593]

Back before you could swipe right on an app and meet up and bang, you had to go places to meet women. Sometimes those places were lame, or you had to do lame shit to get her to like you enough to sleep with you. As Gus McCrae once said "A man that won't go to feminist open mike night at Quack's for a poke don't want one bad enough". 

This is a golden truth.

[mchookem 16262]

man i was actually looking forward to the stories of just how many people hadn't been paying attention and were going to be shocked tomorrow when they couldn't finish the saga of what happened to Jeff's step-sister when she got stuck in the dryer.

[Deej 76643]

31 minutes ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

Back before you could swipe right on an app and meet up and bang, you had to go places to meet women. Sometimes those places were lame, or you had to do lame shit to get her to like you enough to sleep with you. As Gus McCrae once said "A man that won't go to feminist open mike night at Quack's for a poke don't want one bad enough". 

Nothing like hairy legged women. 

8 minutes ago, mchookem said:

man i was actually looking forward to the stories of just how many people hadn't been paying attention and were going to be shocked tomorrow when they couldn't finish the saga of what happened to Jeff's step-sister when she got stuck in the dryer.

You think the dryer industry would take note of the obvious danger.

[Foosters 17769]

18 minutes ago, mchookem said:

man i was actually looking forward to the stories of just how many people hadn't been paying attention and were going to be shocked tomorrow when they couldn't finish the saga of what happened to Jeff's step-sister when she got stuck in the dryer.

she fixes the cable?

[Blotto 23464]

29 minutes ago, ztejas said:

Dear God. I hope you were on a serious dry spell.

 

44 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

It was a rough semester.  Brisket's dignity took a rather vicious beating that semester.

Brisket coulda gotten laid  the night before and he still woulda been up there opining "you know, many people say Richard's best work was when he was playing the Hammond, but for my money you just cant beat his work on the Wurlitzer.  Now lets get you another glass of this delightful Chablis. Is that sweater itchy?"

[Brisketexan 104792]

17 minutes ago, Blotto said:

Brisket coulda gotten laid  the night before and he still woulda been up there opining "you know, many people say Richard's best work was when he was playing the Hammond, but for my money you just cant beat his work on the Wurlitzer.  Now lets get you another glass of this delightful Chablis. Is that sweater itchy?"

Find the lie in there.  You can't.

[BrickHorn 18200]

43 minutes ago, Foosters said:

she fixes the cable?

Don’t be fatuous.

[atomheartbevo 89505]

2 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Co-sign.

From a guy who spent an entire evening in a gal's apartment drinking box chablis and listening to the entire Carpenter's Greatest Hits album played all the way through....twice.

2 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

It was a rough semester.  Brisket's dignity took a rather vicious beating that semester.

[atomheartbevo 89505]

2 hours ago, mchookem said:

man i was actually looking forward to the stories of just how many people hadn't been paying attention and were going to be shocked tomorrow when they couldn't finish the saga of what happened to Jeff's step-sister when she got stuck in the dryer.

I was surprised that a few older relatives had taken note and were trying to get themselves squared away.  But older people take their porn more seriously maybe, I don't know.

But yeah, I was really hoping to see a bunch of stories of "WHAT THE FUCK WHY ARE THEY BLOCKING MY PORN WHAT DO THEY MEAN ME LOOKING AT PORN MEANS I'M LIABLE TO ABUSE KIDS OR HAVE MENTAL ISSUES?"

Whoever came up with the wording to the warnings that had the Texas Health and Human Services logos on them (but weren't created by them apparently), it was pretty brutal.

[South Austin 52210]

Really wish I didn’t throw away that DVD player.

[Biff Tannen 45578]

19 minutes ago, South Austin said:

Really wish I didn’t throw away that DVD player.

/csb

I had a couple of college kids install a couple of flat screens on my walls last year and I had them hook up my blu ray player.  They were completely at a loss as to why anyone would do this.  Mark my words, when the internet dies and I have my library of DVDs and Blu Rays, I will be vindicated.

[Brisketexan 104792]

I was a sophomore. That was damned well the only thing I had on a pedestal. No ragrets.

[BearSchlong 8079]

Harumph.

[freyguy 4252]

30 minutes ago, BearSchlong said:

Harumph.

yo, xhamster....

[Blotto 23464]

Luckily, BustinNutsInDrunkenSluts.com has elected not to participate in this foolishness.

Edited September 1, 2023 by Blotto

[UnivTex34 1763]

35 minutes ago, BearSchlong said:

Harumph.

Your fault for living so close to Louisiana.

[Captainant 27521]

1 hour ago, Biff Tannen said:

Mark my words, when the internet dies and I have my library of DVDs and Blu Rays, I will be vindicated.

Bro do you even Plex? Rip that shit

[NorthLoop 14143]

1 hour ago, Biff Tannen said:

/csb

I had a couple of college kids install a couple of flat screens on my walls last year and I had them hook up my blu ray player.  They were completely at a loss as to why anyone would do this.  Mark my words, when the internet dies and I have my library of DVDs and Blu Rays, I will be vindicated.

 

8 minutes ago, Captainant said:

Bro do you even Plex? Rip that shit

 

[atomheartbevo 89505]

2 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

/csb

I had a couple of college kids install a couple of flat screens on my walls last year and I had them hook up my blu ray player.  They were completely at a loss as to why anyone would do this.  Mark my words, when the internet dies and I have my library of DVDs and Blu Rays, I will be vindicated.

54 minutes ago, NorthLoop said:

What, you don't have somebody hauling around file boxes full of porn?